laughter its a disaster, larry. All my information has been exposed. Of i didnt sign up for this. I signed up for cheating, not getting caught. laughter larry well, didnt you also sign up to be married . I mean, thats a contract. laughter i dont remember. I was drunk when i got married. laughter look, the only contract im concerned about right now is the Ashley Madison terms of service. They said they would scrub my info for 19. 99. They lied, larry. This is about betrayal between me and the internet. laughter . Larry your voice sounds so odd there. laughter so really . Thats how you see it . Me and ashley . We had a covenant. laughter we had a bond. Now thats broken. I wish my marriage wasnt so bad. Id like to talk about this with my wife. laughter thanks for listening. Larry hey, sorry. Its no problem. Im sorry your marriage is bad too. But if youre that unhappy, why dont you just get a divorce . Are you kidding . Do you know how humiliating that would be . laughter id have to live m
Looking colors such as black. Fine by me, just as long as they dont extend that law to include talk show hosts time to lock and load, this is the nightly show [ cheers and applause captioning sponsored by Comedy Central larry whoa. You can feel it tonight, man. What a great audience tonight. Thank you very much. I think it is so nice of you. I am so happy my name is larry because that chant worked. Welcome to the nightly show. I am larry wilmore. Man, we have got a lot to talk about tonight. Now, right now, planned parenthood is under attack, like meek mill on a drake diss track. All right . You know what i am saying . Here is the latest. A. On capitol hill the senate blocked a republican effort to shut off federal funds for planned parenthood. Larry another failed attempt to defund planned parenthood by the right . This is the eighth vote to defund them in eight years. Two more and they get a free breast exam taken away from a lowincome woman. A. Just let that one marinate for a littl
Became the flashpoint for americas soul and after North Carolina passed a law to require transgender people to use the bathroom that theyre born with not identify with last week the state quickly found itself in deep, deep, [bleep]. The department of justice said North Carolinas controversial new law that limits protections for lgbt people violates the civil rights act. If it carries out the law it could lose roughly 2 billion in federal funds for Public Schools and universities. Trevor theyre not [bleep] serious . Youre willing to give up 2 billion over bathrooms . There is no one i would not let use a bathroom for 2 billion. In fact, i would be your bathroom for 2 billion no, wait, that came out wrong. That came out wrong. What im saying is i would literally let you [bleep] on me for 2 billion. How is this still a fight . Apparently thats just me because yesterday north didnt react the same way. The department of justice gave the state of North Carolina to monday to throw out the law
To talk about a consumer product. Now, i know what youre saying, why are we talking about products instead of black bleep . I agree, i agree. Well, it just so happens were getting both. Its a frozen treat called little obama. Its glazed with chocolate, and its wrapping features a smiling black child wearing an earring while holding an ice cream cone. Russia launching a brandnew cold war with this new obamaflavored ice cream. Larry obamaflavored . laughter tastes like Menthol Cigarettes and healthcare. Okay, there is so much wrong with that. First of all, bleep russia. Thats just so wrong. They really got obama down the earring, the rosy red cheeks, the patented yellow shirt. Its not like there arent pictures of the man. But i get it. Haha. Chocolate on the outside and vanilla on the inside. It should be half and half if anything. Wha what are you going to do for trumpm a creamsicle orange on the outside, white on the inside or the hillary clinton. Whatever flavor you want it to be unle
We had some pretty rocking times, dude. And maybe i let fame and phil collins go to my head. Timmy [distant chanting] Timmy Timmy Timmy wow, they really are chanting for us. They want us back. What do you say, timmy . Timmy. Both all right ladies and gentlemen, without further ado, it is my pleasure to introduce the reunion tour of timmy. [cheers and applause] timmy and the lords of the underworld. [heavy metal music] timmy timmy yimmyyah ah, timmy timmy, timmy timmy, timmy, timmy and the lords of the underworld put me down, you filthy bastards [screaming] timmy limiloowow dadadada timmy tim, timmy, timmy from comedy centrals world news headquarters in new york, this is the daily show with trevor noah. Trevor welcome to the daily show. Im trevor noah. Thank you so much, everybody, thank you so much. My guest tonight from the angry birds movie, Jason Sudeikis is joining us. Yeah. With the birds, with the birds from the movie am but first, big news coming out of virnlg why. Mike webb wan