Jimmy fallon [ cheers and applause jimmy oh, my goodness thank you very much welcome. [ cheers and applause oh, have a seat. Welcome, welcome, welcome, welcome, welcome, welcome to welcome to the tonight show. [ cheers and applause thank you for being here guys, this is very exciting. Tonight was the season premier of bachelor in paradise. [ cheers and applause owwoo its for everyone who watched the bachelorette and thought, well, its a little too classy for me. I think i want to [ laughter ] thats right bachelor in paradise is here its the show thats got way too much alcohol and not nearly enough chlorine. [ light laughter ] the cast includes caelynn, dean, and clay meanwhile luke p. Wasnt invited, but you know hes going to show up anyway, right [ laughter ] it was a big night on tv abc had bachelor in paradise, cbs had love island. And here on nbc it was chicago orgy. Steve oh [ laughter ] jimmy this isnt good. Over the weekend, Senate Majority leader Mitch Mcconnell tripped at his h
Monday in parliament. Hello again and welcome to monday in parliament, as iran is accused over the seizure of a british flagged tanker. It was therefore an act of state piracy which the house will have no hesitation in condemning. Jeremy hunt promises a Maritime Mission to protect shipping, but questions remain. There were concerns this administration has taken its eye off the ball, and certaintly that the uk has been ill prepared for this. Also, who are the victims . Anger over a plan for Northern Ireland. That the person who went out to murder and maim and cause hurt would also be eligible for this pension if, in the course of doing so, they injured themselves. All that to come and more. But first, the foreign secretary, jeremy hunt, has described the detention of a british flagged tanker by Iranian Revolutionary guards as an act of state piracy. The stena impero and its crew of 23 was seized last friday in what the uk government says were omani territorial waters. Mr hunt said brita
Jimmy fallon [ cheers and applause jimmy thank you very, very much please thank you. I love you please, have a seat. Thank you very, very much, everybody. Welcome, welcome, welcome, welcome, welcome to the the tonight show. This is it, baby [ cheers and applause thank you for [ cheers and applause weve got a fun show tonight Dakota Johnson is my guest tonight. [ cheers and applause jon lovitz is stopping by steve oh jimmy i love jon lovitz. [ cheers and applause and post malone is here. [ cheers and applause actually, in honor of post malone, everyone in tonights audience is going home with a face tattoo. There you go [ cheers and applause there you go good for you absolutely lets get to some news here. The economy is having a pretty wild week. Thanks to our trade war with china, stocks have been up and down i saw that apple lost almost 50 billion. [ audience ohs ] then every customer with a a missing airpod was like, sucks losing something, doesnt it yeah. [ laughter and applause all
Bernie picked the flavor [ laughter ] an ohio state representative facing criticism after writing a Facebook Post blaming the shooting in dayton on, quote, the breakdown of the traditional american family, homosexual marriage, fatherlessness, violent video games, professional athletes who hate our flag and the national anthem, recreational marijuana, obama and democrats. [ laughter ] shes whats known in the Republican Party as a moderate [ laughter ] executives at instagram have announced that the app will be renamed instagram from facebook. Seriously . [ light laughter ] why would facebook want to remind people of instagrams connection to an obscenely powerful reviled Parent Company . [ laughter ] i mean, thatd be like, i dont know, naming your kid [ laughter and applause former Colorado Governor John Hickenlooper said during an interview on sunday that he may run for senate if his president ial bid is unsuccessful so i guess well just have to wait and see oh, okay, right. [ laughter
Its tough to know what to say after Something Like this. There are no words that can make it easier all we can say is that the victims and their families and everyone in dayton and el paso are in our hearts tonight. And to anyone whose background has made them a target of prejudice or hate or violence, or anyone who feels that they may not be welcome in this country, know that you that are welcome. We support you and we love you and the cycle of hate needs to stop el paso and dayton have both set up funds to support the victims. So if you want to help, please go online and make a donation. No matter what side of the political coin you land on, we all agree this is happening too much and it has to stop. So please make your voice heard. You can call your local representative you can go to a protest march. You donate to a charity that fights for common sense gun laws and vote you can vote it all helps its the only way we can make things better and we can be better thank you. [ applause ]