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Transcripts For KNTV Late Night With Seth Meyers 20170517

Highly classified information with russian officials last week. You know, at this point, id give anything to return to the simpler days of the campaign. Ah, yes, there you go. [ light laughter ] the days when the only thing he gave away was his autograph. [ laughter ] i just want to see you sign hats again, mr. President. Resign that hat. Youve got to resign. You have to resign. [ cheers and applause ] still a lot of hats out there you can get back to. National security adviser h. R. Mcmaster today defended President Trump for sharing classified information with russia saying, quote, the president wasnt even aware where the information came from. Well, that doesnt surprise me. [ light laughter ] i would bet trump isnt even sure where babies come from. [ laughter ] first, you marry a model and then a stork drops off a baby with the doorman. [ light laughter ] and then you give the baby a giant job that theyre unqualified for. [ laughter and applause ] a new a new gallup poll finds that

Transcripts For WRC Late Night With Seth Meyers 20170517

With russian officials last week. You know, at this point, id give anything to return to the simpler days of the campaign. Ah, yes, there you go. [ light laughter ] the days when the only thing he gave away was his autograph. [ laughter ] i just want to see you sign hats again, mr. President. Resign that hat. Youve got to resign. You have to resign. [ cheers and applause ] still a lot of hats out there you can get back to. National security adviser h. R. Mcmaster today defended President Trump for sharing classified information with russia saying, quote, the president wasnt even aware where the information came from. Well, that doesnt surprise me. [ light laughter ] i would bet trump isnt even sure where babies come from. [ laughter ] first, you marry a model and then a stork drops off a baby with the doorman. [ light laughter ] and then you give the baby a unqualified for. [ laughter and applause ] a new a new gallup poll finds that President Trumps Approval Rating has dropped to 38 .

Transcripts For WCAU Late Night With Seth Meyers 20170628

[ laughter and applause ] the white house today formally nominated Christopher Rey to be the next director of the fbi, and hes been fired. [ light laughter ] its a very short cycle these days. Disney worlds hall of president s, which has been closed since january in order to add a new President Trump robot, has reportedly pushed its reopening to the fall. Bummer, said literally not one child. [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] oh no, now we have to go on a real ride. According to reports, President Trumps team has been fighting with disney world over the speech trumps robot will give, in their hall of president s exhibit. Hopefully its better than the one that trumps robot gave at the Republican National convention. [ laughter and applause ] in a recent interview former georgia congressional candidate john ossoff said his nearvictory for the democrats last week, showed that President Trump and chief strategist steve bannon should be sweating in 2018. Umm, have you seen those guys lat

Transcripts For KNTV Late Night With Seth Meyers 20170809

[ laughter ] President Trump this afternoon addressed the north Korean Missile program and said if they continue to threaten the United States, quote, they will be met with a fire and fury like the world has never seen. Yeah, that ought to cool things down. [ laughter ] god forbid trumps ever put in charge of a hostage situation. Kill a hostage . You dont have the balls. [ laughter ] plus if you do, ill kill everyone outside the bank north Korean Leader kim jongun, yesterday, responded to new u. N. Sanctions against the country saying, quote, there is no bigger mistake than the United States believing that its land is safe across the ocean. Yeah, except for maybe that mistake where youre trying to even out your sideburns, but you keep making one side shorter than the other. So you go back and trim the other side, but now that side is shorter. So you go back and trim the other side. And before you know it, you end up looking like this. [ laughter and applause ] theyre both bad mistakes.

Transcripts For WCAU Late Night With Seth Meyers 20170809

[ laughter ] President Trump this afternoon addressed the north Korean Missile program and said if they continue to threaten the United States, quote, they will be met with a fire and fury like the world has never seen. Yeah, that ought to cool things down. [ laughter ] god forbid trumps ever put in charge of a hostage situation. Kill a hostage . You dont have the balls. [ laughter ] plus if you do, ill kill everyone outside the bank north Korean Leader kim jongun, yesterday, responded to new u. N. Sanctions against the country saying, quote, there is no bigger mistake than the United States believing that its land is safe across the ocean. Yeah, except for maybe that mistake where youre trying to even out your sideburns, but you keep making one side shorter than the other. So you go back and trim the other side, but now that side is shorter. So you go back and trim the other side. And before you know it, you end up looking like this. [ laughter and applause ] theyre both bad mistakes.

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