[ laughter ] President Trump this afternoon addressed the north Korean Missile program and said if they continue to threaten the United States, quote, they will be met with a fire and fury like the world has never seen. Yeah, that ought to cool things down. [ laughter ] god forbid trumps ever put in charge of a hostage situation. Kill a hostage . You dont have the balls. [ laughter ] plus if you do, ill kill everyone outside the bank north Korean Leader kim jongun, yesterday, responded to new u. N. Sanctions against the country saying, quote, there is no bigger mistake than the United States believing that its land is safe across the ocean. Yeah, except for maybe that mistake where youre trying to even out your sideburns, but you keep making one side shorter than the other. So you go back and trim the other side, but now that side is shorter. So you go back and trim the other side. And before you know it, you end up looking like this. [ laughter and applause ] theyre both bad mistakes. A new cnn poll found that only 24 of people felt they could trust the trump administration. Thats right, when it comes to trust, donald trump ranks just below gas station sushi. [ laughter ] despite President Trumps claims that he is working hard from his new jersey golf club, reports show the official white house calendar was fully cleared yesterday after 9 00 a. M. Trump is so unfamiliar with working, he forgot the to five part. [ light laughter ] i work every day, nine [ laughter ] and then i hit the links. Google, yesterday, fired a Software Engineer after he distributed a memo arguing that the gender gap in the Tech Industry is partly because women are more anxious and avoid highstress jobs. Of course hes a Software Engineer. He probably thinks the gender gap is where babies come from. [ laughter ] this weekends episode of game of thrones featured a cameo by new york mets pitcher noah syndergaard. And another one by the philly fanatic. [ laughter ] new Research Suggests that early exposure to pornography may be linked to misogynist thinking. Not to mention a very distorted sense of how pizza guys get tipped. [ laughter ] so just the money, then . Youre not [ laughter ] youre not going to invite me in for nine minutes . [ light laughter ] a company is raising funds to sell a smart salt shaker called the smalt, which can dispense salt in any amount via a connected app. The way it works is worse than a regular salt shaker. [ laughter ] hey, man, can i get some salt . I just need to find a wifi. [ laughter ] and finally according to a report, craft breweries are running out of names to call their beers. How . Just combine an animal, a body part, and an action. Watch. Dog balls punch ipa. Done. [ laughter ] donkey butt yank summer ale. Boom. Best seller. [ laughter ] weve got a great show for you guys tonight [ cheers and applause ] she is a goldenglobe nominated actress. Eva longoria is back on the show, everybody [ cheers and applause ] hes a lovely guy, fantastic actor and star of a great new film, the glass castle. Max greenfield joins us tonight. [ cheers and applause ] and he is an Academy Awardnominated director and is a producer on a fantastic new series on fx, snowfall. John singleton joins us tonight. [ cheers and applause ] so youre on a great night. Now, you guys, i am in my 40s now. Im married, i have a kid. But nothing and i mean nothing makes me feel older than when i dont know the new slang terms teenagers are using. And it seems like these days, teen slang terms are evolving so fast that sometimes its hard to keep up. So we decided to give a little primer on new teen slang terms in a segment we call seth explains teen slang. [ cheers and applause ] seth all right, so heres a new slang term that teenagers are using. The term is schmuck finn. This is a kid who brags about doing the Summer Reading. [ laughter ] for example, gary wont shut up about how he finished the Summer Reading list in june. I wish that schmuck finn would drift down the mississippi river. [ laughter ] up next is pixard. Heres the definition, when you get so high you believe toys are alive. [ laughter ] for example, got so pixard on friday that i started arguing with my old buzz lightyear action figure. Then i just threw him out the window. Toinfinityandbeyond. [ light laughter ] very helpful. [ applause ] very helpful teen slang term. Next up we have shady hawkins dance. This is when two people go to prom who should not be dating. [ light laughter ] for example, um, why is rebecca here with travis . Travis dated kelly for two years and rebecca is supposed to be her best friend. Also, im pretty sure theyre cousins. Shadyhawkinsdance. Next we have scaramucci. Lets see what it means. Its a very confident guy who doesnt last long. [ cheers and applause ] here it is in a sentence. Mike talked a big game about how he was going to rock my world, but that scaramucci was finished before we could get to the bedroom. [ cheers and applause ] next up, its spiderman franchise. Lets see what it means. Its a kid who only has one story and keeps telling it over and over. [ light laughter ] for example, every time i hang out with todd, he tells the same exact story about how his dad was roommates with john smoltz. Spidermanfranchise. [ laughter and applause ] i fought so hard for the john smoltz joke. [ light laughter ] got to pen an apology to the writer of the piece. Moving on, we have super mario. Its the weird kid in school who likes to kill turtles. [ laughter ] here it is in a sentence. Walked up to that new kid david and said, hi, my name is jake. And he responded by saying i like to kill turtles. supermario. Next one is really taking off with teens, its a glee chub. [ light laughter ] youre getting there. [ laughter ] here it is in a definition, when you get a little too excited watching your crush sing in choir. [ laughter ] for example, after melissa hit that high note in defying gravity, i couldnt stand up for the ovation. Gleechub. [ cheers and applause ] our last teen slang term is costco. This is a girl you like, but shes a lot. [ laughter ] for example, jessica is super hot, but im going to break up with that costco, because every one of her orders at a restaurant contains the phrase but instead of. [ laughter ] that was seth explains teen slang. Well be right back with more late night everybody. [ cheers and applause ] [ cheers and applause ] on here . Um. Im babysitting. Thatll be 50 bucks. You said 30. Yeah, well it was 30 before my fees, like the pizzaordering fee and the dogsitting fee. And the rummage through your closet fee. Are those my heels . Yeah yeah, were the same size. In shoes. With tmobile taxes and fees are already included, so you get four lines of unlimited for just 40 bucks each. For a limited time save 300 dollars on the amazing iphone 7. Ready, ok what do we want . Catpacks when do we want em . Meow everything you need to ready, set, go back to school. With motionsense technology. Degree has redefined deodorant so that i can redefine. Power. Footwork. Range. The more i move, the more it works. Degree. It wont let you down. Hey, is this our turn . Honey. Our turn . Yeah, we go left right here. woman vo Great Adventures are still out there. Well find them in our Subaru Outback. avo love. Its what makes a subaru, a subaru. Get 0 apr financing for 63 months on all new 2017 Subaru Outback models. Now through august 31. 5 truth or dare is back. I can embrace a world fullber, of surprising moments. Experience more as a member. The marriott portfolio has 30 brands in over 110 countries. So no matter where you go, youre here. Digiorno . Rise to the occasion. Its not delivery. Its digiorno. Do you remember when i took your [photo this morning . , [boy] yea [intern] im afraid i have some terrible news. You have. Bug eyes here come the bugs ahh bugs everywhere uh oh, this little buggy got a lasagna. [ cheers and applause ] seth welcome back to late night, everybody. Now, if you follow science news, you might have heard that the Hubble Telescope discovered a new planetary body that may be the largest gas giant in the known universe. Yeah, its your butt. [ light laughter ] seth who said that . Uh, your butt did. Seth im sorry, everyone. This is my nephew, derrick. Hey, uncle seth. [ light laughter ] seth why are you interrupting my show . What . I was just making jokes. Its a comedy show, right . I dont know. My squad thought it was funny. Yo whats up . Whats up . Whats up . Whats up . Whats up . Seth sorry. Derrick, derrick, who are those kids . Uh, theyre my squad. I just said that . Are you losing your mind . [ laughter ] because if youre losing your mind, i know one place you might check. Seth dont say it. Up your big seth no. Fat seth dont say it derrick. Stupid smelly butt. What . What . Oh no seth all right, you know what, derrick . Thats enough. Come over here hold on, i have to high five everyone in the audience. [ cheers and applause ] seth no, derrick derrick, get over here i am so so sorry about this, everyone. My nephew derrick asked me if he could come on the show, but it looks like i cant trust him to be mature and sit quietly. So now he has to sit here with me at the desk where he cant get in any trouble. Hi, uncle seth. I like your fake eyelashes. [ laughter ] seth very funny, derrick. And i hope youre proud of yourself. I said you could come to the show, and then you just make fun of me to your friends . What . Make fun of you . No. Uncle seth, my friends begged me to come on the show cause theyre huge fans of yours. Seth i find that very hard to believe. They are. In fact, we all are. In fact, we even made tshirts. Can i show you . Can i show you . Seth yeah, sure. [ laughter ] i wanted permission to show you. Look. Seth oh. Do you know what it says . Seth yeah, take a closer look. Wow, thats really cool. Isnt that cool . Look at the back. Seth at my childsized d derrick [ applause ] what . Seth i hope youre happy. I hope youre happy, derrick, knowing you hurt my feelings. What . Seth now, because you had to act out and interrupt my show, now i dont have time to do my nasa segment. Not your nasa segment seth yeah, i cant do it oh, no. Seth and its your fault. God, youve been talking about the nasa segment for weeks. Seth yeah. Oh, my god, what a fool i am. [ light laughter ] im sorry. I didnt bean to interrupt your nasa segment. Seth you didnt bean to . I didnt mean to. I just i guess i just wanted to impress my friends. And you know, nobody [ audience aws ] yeah. [ laughter ] nobody even used to know that i existed before. Now, when i act out or when i speak truth to power, which is thats what i was doing before with the tshirt, speaking truth to power. Seth thats not what that means. When i speak truth to power now, people actually Pay Attention to me. Im afraid if they knew the real me, and stuff that i actually like, theyd think i was a spazz. Seth derrick, the real you is always cooler than anyone you could pretend to be. And i think it would be important like just tell me something that the real derricks into. Well, im really kind of into magic tricks, but everybody thinks thats super lame. No, derrick, no derrick, no [ laughter ] no . Seth no, derrick magic tricks take a lot of skill and dedication. I think thats really cool derrick. Come on. Seth no, its really cool. No seth could you show me one. Nobody wants to see me do a magic trick. [ cheers and applause ] seth sure, they do. Doesnt everyone want to see derrick do a magic trick . [ cheers and applause ] youre just goading me. Fine. I do have a deck of cards. Seth all right, great, here we go. A magic trick from my little nephew, derrick. Such a good boy. [ light laughter ] such a good boy. Okay, im going to ask you to just pick a card, any card. Seth all right, any card . Yeah. Seth okay, gotcha. Not that one. Im just kidding. You can you pick that one. Seth okay. Okay, i want you to look at it hard. Seth okay. Show it to the audience, but never to me. Never to me. Seth okay, im going to show it over here. There we go. Show it to them, not me. Seth okay, great. Got it . Seth yeah. Everybody has seen it . Have you seen it . Seth yep. Yep. Okay, now i want you to put it back in the cards. Seth okay, i can put it anywhere . Put it anywhere, yeah. Seth okay, great. All right. There we go. And now i want you to tap it. Seth okay. I want you to say the magic word awooga. Seth awooga. Awooga. Say awooga. Seth awooga. There you go. Now, say the other magic word, chim chim chiroo. [ light laughter ] seth chim chim chiroo. All right, now put it together. Seth awooga, chim chim chiroo. Very good. Tap it again. All right, and was this your card . [ light laughter ] seth no. No . It wasnt . Seth no. Huh. It wasnt . Huh. Seth and it couldnt have been. I mean huh. Hmm. Seth its not. Excuse me, sir. Would you mind, i think i know what the solution to this. Would you mind checking into your left breast pocket. Seth okay. Yeah. Seth all right. Wait this isnt my card. This is what is this . No, it is your card. Look, its your membership card to the tiny penis club [ laughter ] seth oh, come on derrick hey seth it wasnt even a real trick. Once again, my feelings are hurt. Thats the trick thats the trick. Thats the trick. [ laughter ] do you even like magic, derrick . Of course i do. I love magic. But im just afraid that if i try to do a real magic trick, id only just mess it up like i do everything. [ audience aws ] im such a turd. Im a big turd. Seth no, no. [ laughter ] derrick youre im a turd seth youre not a turd. Im a big turd. Seth youre not a turd. Im a big squishy one. [ laughter ] seth derrick, i bet if you put your mind to it you would be able to do a magic trick. Really . Seth yeah. Well there is one other trick ive been working on. Seth you want to try to show it to us . I could. [ cheers and applause ] seth okay. Well lets see it. Ladies and gentlemen, what youre about to see has never been performed on this world, or any other world. I present to you hammurabis cross. [ cheers and applause ] dont be afraid. The only person at risk tonight is me. [ light laughter ] ugh whew the ancient babylonians believed in a code of justice. An eye for an eye, and a tooth for a tooth, and a butt for a butt. [ light laughter ] but tonight, it will be a hand for a hand as i attempt to escape the shackles in this ancient torture box before the razorsharp axes fall, and clive my limbs from my very body seth cleave, derrick they cleave your limbs before the clock runs out. Seth clive is a first name. [ laughter ] dont blink. [ laughter ] i will now enter the torture chamber. Ooh okay. And now, to shackle me in. Do not worry, the axes are in place, and i will escape from the shackles. I need all of my concentration. Okay. Begin the countdown audience ten, nine, eight, seven, six, five, four, three, two, one wait, im not ready. Wait, no, not yet [ screaming ] [ laughter ] remove the boxes ahh bring them to seth. Seth are you there, seth . Seth yeah, im here. Seth, open the box. Seth okay. Oh [ cheers and applause ] derrick, thats my card what is it . Seth thats amazing. What is it . Seth the eight of hearts. Okay, seth, are you still there . Seth yeah. Can you hear me . Seth yeah, can you hear me . I need you to open the second box now. Seth okay. [ laughter ] what is it . [ cheers and applause ] is there something inside of it . Seth youre a bad kid, derrick well be right back with eva longoria [ cheers and applause ] [ gasps, laughs ] you ever feel like. Cliche foil characters scheming against a top insurer for no reason . Nah. So, why dont we like flo . She has the name your price tool, and we want it. But why . Why dont we actually do any work . Why do you only own one suit . Its just the way it is, underdeveloped office character. Youre right. Thanks, bill. No, youre bill. Im tom. You know what . No one cares. This summer, the Samsung Galaxy s8 get threeat best buy. Lars off when you filter out the bad. Youre left with. The good. In life. And in water. Choose the cleaner, better tasting world of brita. Choose the filtered life. [ cheers and applause ] seth welcome back, everybody. Give it up for the 8g band right over there [ cheers and applause ] also back with us tonight, shes the drummer for beyonce and her brand new e. P. , stealth, is out now on all digital platforms. Please welcome venzella joy, everybody [ cheers and applause ] thank you so much for being here. Thank you. Seth our first guest tonight is a producer, director, and a golden globenominated actress you know from desperate housewives. Her fashion line, eva longoria collection, is available now. Please welcome back to the show our friend eva longoria, everybody [ cheers and applause ] hi seth welcome, how are you . Hi, im great. How are well, im great, because im drinking. Seth you look beautiful. Im so glad you brought out some wine. I know, your show needs some alcohol. Yeah. Seth what does that mean . Is it just like, very hard sober . No, i love your i love i love seth. And i love your political commentary. Seth thank you. But its so true. That seth oh yeah, right now when you hear about it, its like, id love a drink. I get it. I drink, because hes right. Seth i want to ask you about a photo. You were at a [ cheers and applause ] you were at a was this a baby shower . Its a baby shower. Seth so serena williams. Yes. Seth you were at her baby shower. Youre good friends with serena. And it was, it looks like, what is it, 50s sock hop themed . Its a 50s theme. Serena is really big on theme parties, which is, like, such a pain in the ass. Seth yeah. [ light laughter ] im so happy to hear you say that. Because friends who are into theme parties, its such a burden. Oh, my gosh its such a burden. I have to find an outfit. I have to make sure it fits. Actually, if you look closely at my dress, i went to a halloween shop in miami beach because this was in florida. And theres pirates on my dress, because its actually a pirate outfit, because i couldnt find a 50s outfit. Seth oh, my goodness. But i sewed it to make it look like a 50s outfit. Seth thats very impressive. Now is she the kind of person who has a theme party and if you had shown up in sort of oh you get like, shade. Seth oh, really . Oh, yeah, yeah. You get the looks of like, oh, you didnt dress up. Seth too good for the 50s. Too good to dress up, huh . So, you have to. Seth you mention that you sewed it. You actually know how to sew. Which i want to talk about your fashion line. But i feel like a lot of people have fashion lines, and i feel there are many who have never sewn. But you are no, i sew. I mean, i dont sew each piece in my fashion line. [ light laughter ] but ive been sewing since i was like seven. I used to sew like curtains and pillows and then i seth when you sewed curtains were they for your room or for other people . Both, both. I actually started because, i had an aunt who always said make your house a home. And so when shed come over shed get really mad if we didnt have curtains. And im like, i cant afford curtains. So i would go to the fabric place and buy the discount fabric and then make curtains. Seth thats great. Could you tell it was discount fabric . Like, did the sun come right through it . [ light laughter ] yeah, yeah. Actually, it caught on fire a couple of times. Highly flammable material. Seth right. And then, over the years have you done other, have you sewn other oh, yeah, no. Then i evolved to Halloween Costumes for my nieces and nephews. And then to dresses, i would like, make dresses for my girlfriends. And now im just a seamstress to my friends. They bring pants over like, can you hem these . Seth really . Oh, yeah, yeah. Seth i would think they would assume you have more important things to do than hem their pants. No, apparently not. Seth wow. Yeah. [ light laughter ] seth id like to sew id like to learn how to sew a halloween costume. Oh, theyre hard. Seth i think i would feel yeah. Theyre actually hard. Seth dont start with them . Start with flammable curtains . Start with straight lines. One time my nephew i always let my nieces and nephews pick what they want to be, then i go find the pattern. So one is a vampire. Im like, good, great, easy. You know . Princess, got it, thats a dress. Seth yeah. Then one year my nephew goes, spider and i was like, ooh. Seth yeah. [ light laughter ] its a lot of legs and thats a lot of work. How about, why dont we use vampire again . Seth youre going to be half a spider, with four legs. And two of them are going to be your arms. [ light laughter ] so, this is your fashion line, and this is a photo shoot. These are the ads for your fashion line. And these are those are my dogs seth actual dogs that you used. Yeah. Seth and i will say jinxy and popeye which is popeye in spanish. Seth and they look very dignified, and they look like they are professional dog models. No, they are assholes. Seth they were . [ laughter ] yeah. Seth was it a bad scene. Because, ive take an few photos with my dog and its a bad scene. Yeah, theyre not cooperative at all. This is the one frame that they were actually cooperating. If you saw all the other frames its like theyre trying to get out of my arms. Seth so its more like wiggling was the problem . Yeah, yeah. They cant stay still. Seth now, was there every time theres a dog shoot i like to think of the idiots who on the other side of the camera going over here over here oh, oh, oh seth can i assume those idiots were in full effect here . Yeah, yeah. The same idiots backstage. Seth oh good. They were lovely, i met them. [ light laughter ] they were so nice. You would never have guessed what idiots they were. My hair and make up. Seth so, you have done some modeling in your career, but sometimes you end up in photos, with like real models. Seth real models. Im not a model. First of all, im an actress who has to model, because i have like i have loreal. Ive been with loreal 13 years. But loreal actually has real models like karlie kloss. And like, irina. And so these, like, tall women. Seth because in the loreal ads, you know, when its just you, theres not the height discrepancy. I look amazing when im alone. Seth you look great [ cheers and applause ] when im alone seth well you always as these pictures will prove, you always look amazing. Its just sometimes you can tell the difference in height between the actress model and the modelmodel. [ light laughter ] there you are. I know seth they could crop you out and wed still see all their heads. I know. [ light laughter ] this is true. By the way, look, im always in the front and trying to outpose them. Thats all i got going for me. Seth thats great. Yeah, im like, move, move seth you dont concede the pose. Yeah, no, im like im elbowing my way in there. Seth and then i like this, because you did take advantage right here. And thats like sometimes you just got to do that. [ light laughter ] yeah, yeah, thats are you standing on a lesser model . What are you standing on . [ light laughter ] im actually on a table. Seth youre on a table. Yeah, yeah. And im still barely taller than doutzen. Seth youre right, youre standing in shrimp cocktail. Yeah, exactly. [ light laughter ] seth that was the hors doeuvre table. Exactly, but theres i love natasha, and doutzen, theyre actually amazing human beings, these women. Even though theyre beautiful, and we want to hate them. Seth yeah, but theyre all very nice people. But this is the other amazing thing, is where you are now, you actually grew up on a farm in texas. Yeah. Seth and were you someone did you do a lot of farming work . Were you very outdoorsy . Oh, yeah, yeah. We, you know, i had to collect the eggs in the morning from the chickens. And we had to milk the cows and we had to you know, we had to do everything. We could only eat what we grew. Seth oh, really . Yeah, my dad wouldnt let us eat fast food. Seth my god, my brother and i would have died so young. [ light laughter ] oh my god, let me tell you, i had a hate relationship with squash for a long time. Seth oh, really, yeah. It was like the season of squash. My mom made like, beef and squash, and chicken and squash, and just squash. And im like, i hate squash but, i do have an appreciation for it now, because now nothing tastes good in supermarkets. Seth oh, really . Yeah, you know, because its full of seth see, i only eat what i buy at a supermarket. [ light laughter ] and i feel like thats thats foraging seth i feel like thats really impressive. Thats foraging, yeah. Seth cause i dont know if youve ever gone to a manhattan supermarket, but its a hellscape. You really are yeah, yeah, yeah. No, but i we grew up my dad would take us in the woods for, like, three days at a time and we couldnt take any food with us. Seth uhhuh. And he would make us live off the land. Seth really for three days at a time . Yeah. Seth and you could do that . Apparently. Seth yeah. Yeah. My mom would put a bag of cheetos in my backpack just in case i got hungry. Seth there you go. They seem like they had a very nice partnership as far as parenting goes. [ light laughter ] thank you so much for being here. Thanks for having me seth congratulations on your fashion line. Its always so great. [ cheers and applause ] eva longoria, everybody. Her fashion line is available through evalongoria. Com. Well be right back with max greenfield. [ cheers and applause ] introducing the new moto z with moto mods. Hello moto. 321 liftoff gasps oh cheering buy the new moto z with shattershield, and youll get a free projector mod. Hello moto. I look back on my life and i know what it was for. What if i struggled. What if i sacrificed. And what if i swore id succeed. So you could wake up one day with the choice to be anything you wanted. Well then, my great granddaughter. It would all be worth it. First you start with this. 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Now available in matching scents across your entire laundry routine. [ cheers and applause ] seth our next guest is an emmy and golden globenominated actor you know best from his role as schmidt on the popular fox series new girl. You can see him next in the glass castle in theaters everywhere this friday. Lets take a look. He punched me in the face, jeanette. I know. You told me not to worry, and then he punched me right in the middle of the face. Everybody was shouting, it was so loud. Then you screamed at me. You said, murder him you shouted it right in my ear. Like a mad woman. Please just drink some water. This is serious, jeanette. Your dad is a total nut job. Hey, i can call him that, not you. Seth please welcome back to the show max greenfield, everybody [ cheers and applause ] seth welcome back, friend. Good to be here. Seth its so good to see you. Yeah, you too. Seth you just spent last weekend i have so many questions about this, you went to madison, wisconsin. I did. Seth to see a sporting event. Thats exactly right. Seth but the sporting event is not a sporting event ive ever seen live. Will you please explain what you went and saw . I went to the Crossfit Games. Seth the Crossfit Games . Yeah. [ light laughter ] the reebok Crossfit Games. Seth the Reebok Crossfit now, you did not does anybody do crossfit . [ cheers ] but there was like, a hesitation. Seth yeah. As if like whos going to be the first one to go, i do it too seth yeah. So, now do you do crossfit . I do. Seth you do . Yeah. Seth but you did not compete. You just went to watch. Watch people work out man. Seth thats really it. [ light laughter ] okay, so now thats interesting you framed it that way, because thats how i would have framed it, and thats why i wouldnt have gone. [ laughter ] and yet you went. I feel i like i feel im surprised by this. I feel like its right up your alley. Seth look, i dont want to disparage the hard work that crossfit people do. And there are a lot of sports i watch that im sure other people wouldnt watch. But this is the sort of the gist of what you were watching . Oh yeah, for sure. Seth so thats a person hauling weights. Yeah. Im not sure who that is, actually. Seth you dont oh, you know them all . Oh yeah, totally. Seth oh, wow. [ laughter ] yeah, bigtime. So youre not just like that guy is working out thats matt frasier. Hes the fittest man on earth. Seth he won. Yeah. I got to meet him, and i was real excited. [ light laughter ] seth it looks like hes jumproping with weights. Is that hes doing no. No. No. Seth okay. No, seth. Seth again, youre here to be the expert. Clarify. Yes, please. Hes doing what are called doubleunders. Seth okay. Yeah, where you jump rope but the rope goes underneath twice. Seth okay, so you have to jump high enough, and go fast enough that you go thats exactly right. [ light laughter ] seth i mean, im not a fan of crossfit, cause i dont think i can wrap my head around it. I dont know. I think you could. Is this i believe this is the woman who won the event. Yeah, thats tia clair toomey. Seth congratulations to her shes from australia. Seth shes from australia . Yeah, the aussies had a good performance. Seth oh, really . Yeah. Seth so if youre in australia right now, you have a lot to be proud about. Theyre freaking out. Seth really . I mean i would think so. Seth and now on the female side they took first and second place, and they had third place on the male side. This guy ricky gerard, who came out of nowhere. It was very exciting. He looks like mad max. Seth he looks like mad a young rugby player, he went crazy this guy. Seth wow. Yeah. Seth how many competitors were there over the course of the weekend . Like, obviously you have i think theres 40 on the male side and 40 on the female side. Okay, and thats 80. How many do you and also, theres teams too. Theres teams for like the best gyms, or the gyms put together their best teams and they make it there. So theres a tremendous amount of competitors. Seth all right, so its the day its the morning of you going to crossfit. What time do you get to the stadium or whatever . Oh, early. Seth okay. Yeah. Seth and what time do you leave . Its a long day. But also, it starts on thursday and goes through sunday. I mean the amount of volume that these guys are putting on. You have no idea. Seth the amount of what . Volume. Seth volume. Yeah, its a lot its multiple workouts every day. Seth wow. Thats fantastic that you care. [ laughter and applause ] and again im so again, i really want to stress, i think for the people who went there, like god love them, they worked out so hard. Heres the best part. So and i include myself in this group. As spectators, you go there, and everybody is really excited. And this year it was in madison for the first time. So its like a college town, and everybody who came in was like you know college is not happening. So everybody was like crossfit, lets go. So everybody goes to these events dressed in their crossfit gear as if, just in case the workout breaks out, im ready. [ laughter ] seth oh, wow. It would be like going to a Football Game in shoulder pads. [ laughter ] seth the great thing is heres the thing, when im in the gym, and every now and then ill be doing something, and therell be a dude across like, a creep just staring at other people working out. Thats what you did for a weekend. No, no, no, no, no. [ light laughter ] seth you were a guy watching other people work out. Its sports. Seth its not a sport. You watch people exercise. Youre a weirdo at the gym. Youre a weirdo at the gym. [ laughter and applause ] those people at the gym are not exercising competitively. Seth oh, okay. There you go. See, now it makes seth you won me over. Now it makes sense to you. Now it makes sense to you. Seth how many of the 80 people that competed could you name . More than i care to admit. Seth oh, my god. Thats fantastic. [ light laughter ] this movie is fantastic. Youre talking there about how you got punched in the face. Yeah, by Woody Harrelson. Seth Woody Harrelson plays your fatherinlaw in this film. Or your your girlfriends father. My fatherinlaw to be. Seth fatherinlaw to be. Yes. Seth you are a huge Woody Harrelson fan. Yeah, it was nerveracking. Like, woodys one of those actors, thats just so unpredictable, and thats why we love him as an actor. Seth was he unpredictable to work with . Yeah. I mean its hes Woody Harrelson. Seth yeah. And i came into the movie. Im like, my character in the movie is an outsider to the walls family. Its about jeanette walls and her life, and its an extraordinary film. As her fiancee, im like you know, i come from the upper east side, new yorker. Theyre you know from there had just moved there from the adirondacks. So its obviously a clear difference in lifestyles. And so i was an outsider in the film, as my character. And then coming in, and heres woody and brie. And im like, coming in to the last three weeks of filming. And youre like, hey, man, how you doing . And im supposed to be very nervous in these scenes, and there was not a lot of acting. [ laughter ] seth right, cause you were just genuinely that nervous. Yeah, totally. Seth did he really punch you in the face . No, he did not punch me in the face. Although going into it i didnt know how it was going to go, and i was willing. I thought if were ever going to do this seth yeah. This would be a good opportunity, and worth getting punched in the face by Woody Harrelson. Seth to be able to tell people when theyre like, what happened to your face . Youd go, Woody Harrelson. Yeah, thats right. [ light laughter ] youd like, look in the movie, that was real. He gave me a real shot. Seth hes really unpredictable, and he punched me in the face. Yea, but like, it was good. We were in it. Seth oh, thats fantastic. Well, congrats on the film. Thank you. Seth and congrats on and again, where did you place this weekend . I forget. [ light laughter ] i placed first. I placed first. I placed first. Seth you won you won the best spectator. I won best spectator. Yeah, thats right. If a workout had broken out seth i think you would have been there. I was ready. I was ready, and i would have placed. Seth i want this for you. Do you think youll ever compete at one of these . No. I cant tell you how far away i am. Seth oh, really . From the level of how fit these guys are. Seth oh, thats a bummer. Because youre very fit, and that makes me upset to know that, how far i away i am. [ light laughter ] because i thought if there were 40 that maybe oh, if there were 80, id do it. No. Its not even close. Seth all right, gotcha. Well, i still wish that for you. Thanks for being here. Great to see you as always. [ cheers and applause ] max greenfield, everybody. The glass castle us in theatres everywhere this friday. Well be right back with John Singleton. [ cheers and applause ] im on the phone towel please while other Insurance Companies just see a house. We see the home youve worked really hard for. So why not give it the protection it deserves. This summer, the Samsung Galaxy s8 get threeat best buy. Lars off how do they make starburst taste so juicy . They use wicked small fighter jets to shoot the juiciness into every starburst. [ pilot ] its about to get juicy. Whoo i feel so aliii. It takes guts. [ female announcer ] starburst. Unexplainably juicy. Do you remember when i took your [photo this morning . , [boy] yea [intern] im afraid i have some terrible news. You have. Bug eyes here come the bugs ahh bugs everywhere uh oh, this little buggy got a lasagna. What do you have there . P3 its meat, cheese and nuts. I keep my protein interesting. Oh yea, me too. I have cheese and uh these herbs. P3 snacks. The more interesting way to get your protein. Ready . Ok we got pencils, yes we do wideruled notebooks, scissors, glue weve got ice cream. Sprinkles, too everything you need to ready, set, go back to school. Whats going on here . Um. Im babysitting. Thatll be 50 bucks. You said 30. Yeah, well it was 30 before my fees, like the pizzaordering fee and the dogsitting fee. And the rummage through your closet fee. Are those my heels . Yeah yeah, were the same size. In shoes. With tmobile taxes and fees are already included, so you get four lines of unlimited for just 40 bucks each. For a limited time save 300 dollars on the amazing iphone 7. [ cheers and applause ] seth our next guest is an oscar and emmynominated director and producer known for films like, boyz n the hood, 2 fast 2 furious, and shaft you can catch his new show, snowfall , every wednesday night on fx. Lets take a look. Look, man i know you dont want in on the coke business, i just want to know why. I mean youre smart, plenty hard. And i know you like that paper. So, if you aint in the game, got to be a good reason. Seth please welcome to the show John Singleton, everybody [ cheers and applause ] seth how are you . Im good, im good. Seth im so glad to have you here. Yeah, its good to be here, too. Seth want to take about your Television Show snowfall, but i want to talk about this. I heard you watched a Netflix Documentary that is changing your life. Uh, gosh. What the health. Seth what the health. [ light laughter ] its got me so damn scared. Seth yeah. Its got me scared to eat anything. I mean, like, im here in new york, i want to do what i used to do, and go to every different pizza place and eat whatever i want to eat. Eat at every food truck. And now im like, you know, am i going to die if i have a falafel. [ light laughter ] seth because this documentary, what the health, basically has said, everythings bad for you. Everything is bad. I mean, you cant have sushi. You cant you know, you cant eat ribs. You cant have popeyes chicken. Seth yeah. There are very few documentaries that tell you its okay to eat popeyes chicken, ive found. [ light laughter ] they made one. Seth they made one. They made this one seth just one really they made a documentary that defends popeyes chicken and chickfila. If they would do that, i think that would be a hit. Seth absolutely. So, obviously we know you for your film work. But youve been working a lot in tv in recent years. Not just snowfall, but people vs o. J. Do you Like Television . Do you like working in that medium . I love it. Because, you know film, were lucky if we get a chance to make a movie every three or four years. Right, you know . In television you make a movie every other week. Its just like and so more people see television now than movies, right . Seth yeah, of course. And its more cinematic. I think the way tv used to be produced was not as cinematic. And now it feels like little films. Yeah, everything is little films. And the budgets are commiserate with what features get. And you have all this talent that wants to work in television. So, its fun for me. Seth and snowfall is sort of about the drug trade, but it tells like intersecting stories. Is this an idea you had that you wanted to tell this story this way . This whole thing about me thinking about what i want to do in tv. And i was like, i wanna i love my favorite show is game of thrones. Seth good show. [ cheers ] so i was like, how about a ghetto game of thrones . Like what have these characters who are in los angeles, various different characters that you fall in love with. And then, you know, it just gets bad. And really, really bad. And you kill em off one by one. Seth there you go. You seem to understand the thrust of game of thrones. Thats how it works, right . You fall in love with them you fall in love with them and then you kill them. Seth we knew you first from boyz n the hood. You were 24 years old when you directed that film. 22. Seth 22 22. Seth 24 when you were nominated for an oscar. [ cheers and applause ] and yet your introduction to films, your love affair with films began at a very young age. You had a unique house situation. The Apartment Building i grew up in was right behind a drivein theater. And so out the side of my window i would see this big, big screen and it would have like slasher movies and leather face from the texas chainsaw massacre, and Michael Myers, and bruce lee and billy jack. Seth would this give you nightmares . And blacksploi i had to get over a fear of the dark, because, you know, i had Michael Myers outside my window every other night. [ light laughter ] and then, you know, blacksploitation movies. And then, there was one night i remember, where i looked outside the curtains and i saw one of pam griers movies, right . And you know, those foxy brown movies, she would be barebreasted and everything. Im looking and im maybe six years old, and i was like oh, my gosh, i love movies. [ light laughter ] seth who wouldnt love movies with that . Thats what happened. I mean, you know. Seth do you still have is boyz n the hood a film that people still talk to you about . Yeah, i was coming up here just now, people were talking about it just coming in the studio. Seth do you ever look back and think, i cant believe this thing i did when i was 22 years old has resonated with people for so long . Um, yeah. But, i mean, its for me its part and parcel of my life when i was making that picture. But i remember when i made it a lot of people were telling me like cube, youve had cube on the show. Cube, we were on the set one time and he was like, this is going to be a big movie. And i was like, man, i dont care as long as the folks really like it. He said, no, no, i think its going to be a bigger movie. And its propagated over a period of time. People love the movie, because it told a story that hadnt been told before. They were doing it in rap music. They were like, telling the stories within what they were rapping about. But that was the first movie that dramatized it. You notice theres no rapping in that movie. Seth yeah. Its about the life behind that. So thats why people still love the movie. Seth well, congratulations on that. Congratulations on snowfall. And thank you so much for being here. Such a pleasure. [ cheers and applause ] really appreciate it, man. John singleton, everybody snowfall airs on wednesday at 10 00 p. M. On fx. Well be right back [ cheers and applause ] if youve got a life, you gotta swiffer strummed guitar you cant experience the Canadian Rockies through a screen. You have to be here, with us. Strummed guitar travel through this natural wonder and get a glimpse of amazing. With a glass of wine in one hand, and a camera in the other, aboard rocky mountaineer. Canadas Rocky Mountains await. Call your travel agent or rocky mountaineer for special offers now. [ cheers and applause ] seth my thanks to eva longoria, max greenfield, John Singleton everybody [ cheers and applause ] venzella joy, the 8g band. Stay tuned for carson daly. Well see you tomorrow [ cheers and applause ] carson good evening and welcome to last call. Im your host carson daly. Nice to see you. Lets see what we got for you tonight. Coming up, stand up comic maggie maye is gonna get the comedy spotlight