Payin for my sins and it sure feels great make, make it right make, make it right from Comedy Central hes world news headquarters in new york, this is the daily show with trevor noah cheers and applause . Trevor welcome to the daily show, everybody. Thank you so much for tuning in. Thank you for coming out. Thank you so much for coming out. Take a seat, lets make a show, im trevor noah. We have two guests joining us tonight. First here to talk about new york citys response to the coronavirus, mayor bill de blasio is joining us, everybody. applause and then, then were going to be joined by the star of the new show dave, lil dicky is here. Also on tonights episode, Bernie Sanders isnt going anywhere. Toilet paper could get you killed and joe biden is sick of your shit. So lets catch up on todays headlines. All right, so look, normally we would catch up on all of the headlines from around the world. You know, maybe we what talk about Harvey Weinstein getting 23 areas in prison. cheers and
Can i get you a drink . Name your poison. Dairy, it gives me terrible gas. Its the late show with Stephen Colbert. Tonight, weight botchers and real news tonight talks to South Carolina voters. Plus, stephen welcomes tyra banks and wildlife expert coyote peterson featuring jon batiste and stay human. And now, live on tape from the ed sullivan theater in new york city, its Stephen Colbert cheers and applause stephen hi how are you . Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah hey happy friday. Audience Stephen Stephen Stephen Stephen. Stephen happy friday. Lets go into the weekend strong, everybody yes thank you cheers and applause hello, my friends. Amazing. What an amazing crowd. What an amazing city. What an amazing world. How great to be alive. Welcome, one and all, to the late show. I am your host, Stephen Colbert. With all the news about the coronavirus, i hope everyones doing everything they can to stay safe. If you need information about how to stay healthy, dont ask donald trump, because were learning
Person bunker but turns out guys from parasite are living there. Very nice folks. The big story tonight is all you people. People all over america have hunkered down in their own houses to ride out the the coronavirus. The c. D. C. Is saying this might go on for the next eight weeks. So get comfortable, and try to look on the bright side, youre finally going to get a chance to binge watch all that toilet paper you bought, and you better watch it, jack, because im coming for it. I did not plan well. The government remember them . The government is telling all of us to avoid human contact indefinitely. On behalf to have the socially anxious everywhere, let me just say way ahead of you. I have been avoiding human contact since before it was cool. Keep in mind, this is not the first time humanity has had to sequester itself to prevent the spread of infection. Did you know sir isaac newton retreated to his home in the countryside when the great plague of 166 1665 hit london . During that is
Tonight, join jimmy and his guests Rosario Dawson logan lerman musical guest Megan Thee Stallion, anfeaturing the legendary roots crew questlove 1209 steve and now, here he is, jimmy fallon [ cheers and applause [ cheers and applause jimmy oh oh, my goodness, hi thats a hot crowd that is a hot crowd tonight [ cheers and applause welcome, everybody welcome, welcome, welcome to the tonight show. [ cheers and applause youre here. You made it. Thank you. Guys, it seems like theres so much going on right now. The democratic primary is in full swing tomorrow is valentines day. [ cheers and applause what else . Samsung just introduced their new folding phone, i dont know if you saw that. And carls jr. Is rolling out its new thickburger. [ cheers ] that has an entire patty of fried cheese [ audience ohs ] theres a lot to go over lets just jump in and cover it all at once. Its time for newsmash. [ cheers and applause jimmy first up, the democratic primary right now, Bernie Sanders is riding hig
Primary was today. Not to be confused with super tuesday which was, i think, 11 years ago [ light laughter ] thats right, the mini tuesday primary was today, where six states held their primaries. So after tonight, we might finally know once and for all whether Tulsi Gabbard can take a hint [ laughter and applause well see what the math says after tonight. President trump told reporters today that he has not been tested for the coronavirus but just to be safe, the virus has decided to selfquarantine [ laughter and applause according to a political analyst, president Trumps Campaign strategy is to paint his potential opponent, former Vice President joe biden as senile what you cant just call your opponent the thing that you are. [ light laughter ] i mean, that would be like saying that Hillary Clinton was crooked. Oh oh, crap, oh [ light laughter ] hes going to win again, oh, no. Thats right, President Trump wants to paint joe biden as senile by highlighting his recent verbal blunders u