And prone to panic in third. And here comes does this cough mean anything . Does this cough mean anything on the outside track. And whats this . Charging from the back of the pack, maybe this will all just blow over coming on strong. Maybe this will all just blow over challenging for the lead. Oh, maybe this will all just blow over has bucked its rider and is running the other way. And its generalized anxiety by three lengths. Generalized anxiety takes the roses. Though its probably allergic. From all of me at churchill downs, im going to need another mint julep. Its a late show with Stephen Colbert. Tonight, cancel culture governor Chris Christie and musical guest nathaniel with jon batiste and stay homin. And now live on tape from a safe distance, its Stephen Colbert stephen oh, hi. Welcome to my perch up in the breeze. On monday, it was water. Yesterday, it was fire. So today, its the light show with stephen colbair. Im also up here among the trees, because i read on facebook that v
And when he says Something Like that, you know its true. And the president fired the crowd up sharing many tales of victories and he did that at the state of the union. On tuesday, i delivered my address on the state of the union. And i had somebody behind me, who was mumbling terribly, mumbling. Mumbling, wah, wah, ho, ha. Mumbling. Very distracting. Jimmy we did some digging, and we went through all the footage to figure out who was mumbling behind him, and i believe we found the culprit. Here, on this land, on this soil, on this continent. I love you, i love you, i love you. I love you. Jimmy its nice that they still have that spark after all this time together. As he often does, trump covered a wide range of subjects, including the time in 2017 when a man with a gun shot louisiana congressman steve scalise. Scalise was at the rally with trump. A very brave man. He took a bullet. He got shot. And he got up, he was going to die that night. I tell this story all the time. His wife, sh
First time hosting a talk show because were doing it without a regular audience. Due to Public Health concerns over the coronavirus, we cancelled our studio audience tonight. A few kind kimmel staffers and some friends are here instead, were going to have a great time. Everyone is spread apart at the cdcrepresented distance. This was not our plan. We just decided this a few hours ago. And its disappointing, because as you all know, i love to crowd surf. Its kinda my thing. But the experts have told us the best way to prevent the spread of the virus is for us to physically stay apart. So thats what were going to do. The only way were going to get through this crisis is with unity. So lets do this together. Whos with me . [cheers and applause] full disclosure none of those people are here. But when you dont have a real audience, you have to fake one. Just like trumps inauguration. Last night, President Trump addressed the nation regarding the coronavirus pandemic and had this message for
The stock market today suffered its worst day since 2008, while great person trump suffered his worst day he was at m. I. T. He taught at m. I. T. For, i think, a Record Number of years. He was a great super genius, since, i dont know, yesterday [ laughter ] dr. John trump i like this stuff. President Trumps White House i really get it. Social media director, this people are surprised that i weekend, shared a video of understand it. Former Vice President joe biden every one of these doctors said, that was edited so it appeared how do you know so much about this . Biden was saying, we can only maybe i have a natural ability maybe i should have done that reelect donald trump. Instead of running for president. They doctored a video to make seth yes yes, you should have joe biden look bad [ applause ] [ laughter ] you should have applied to that is so unnecessary medical school i mean, for real, here is how and you should have filmed the reactions of the faculty of that here is how he star
[ laughter ] seth hes hes a doctor why do you think he knows more than he does do you do this during your actual doctors appointments mr. President , it looks like you have an undigested hamburger lodged in your stomach. No, youre wrong, thats just my second heart. [ laughter ] trump probably thinks he knows more about actual doctors because this guy was his actual doctor do you remember him . The guy who looks less like a doctor, and more like hes hiding in the witness protection program. [ laughter ] the guy whose fallback job is roadie for hootie and the blowfish [ laughter ] trump probably did know more than this guy. Bad news man, looks like you got your feet where your brain should be. [ laughter ] no, i think you just have it upside down. Oh, hey i guess youre right, man. All right. Want some medicine . [ laughter ] now look, its important to be cautious and not to panic, but its also important not to ignore the advice of health professionals. Everyone should remain calm, hope f