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First time hosting a talk show because were doing it without a regular audience. Due to Public Health concerns over the coronavirus, we cancelled our studio audience tonight. A few kind kimmel staffers and some friends are here instead, were going to have a great time. Everyone is spread apart at the cdcrepresented distance. This was not our plan. We just decided this a few hours ago. And its disappointing, because as you all know, i love to crowd surf. Its kinda my thing. But the experts have told us the best way to prevent the spread of the virus is for us to physically stay apart. So thats what were going to do. The only way were going to get through this crisis is with unity. So lets do this together. Whos with me . [cheers and applause] full disclosure none of those people are here. But when you dont have a real audience, you have to fake one. Just like trumps inauguration. Last night, President Trump addressed the nation regarding the coronavirus pandemic and had this message for the american people. If we are vigilant, and we can reduce the chance of infection, which we will, we will significantly impede the transmission of the virus. The virus will not have a chance against us. I agree that this virus is no match for the american people. But for us to get through this, we have to take immediate action. Theres a bill right now in congress that would provide free coronavirus testing for everyone who needs it, paid emergency leave, and Unemployment Insurance for workers laid off because of economic shock. For the good of every worker, family, and community that will be hurting, we need to encourage congress to get that done. [cheers and applause] so take a moment, so call the number on your screen and tell your senators and representatives now is the time for action. See, theyre even on board. Thanks for your support, eric, don, and whoever that was. And look, i know this is a time of great anxiety for our country. But believe me when i say, the resolve of our nation is strong. Our ideals run deep. America will always be america. And here is living proof of that from last nights masked singer. When a girl walked in with an itty, bitty waist thats going to be me in three months, isnt it . You know, a lot of folks are wondering how i ended up getting booked to host this show and all i can say is that iowa caucus app really screwed everything up. [cheers and applause] actually, jimmy asked me to fill in because right now he is off taping who wants to be a millionaire . Which is a game show Michael Bloomberg won 56,000 times in a row. People have been skeptical about me hosting a show like this. Theyre like youre too inexperienced, youll never be a good late night host. Well, a lot of people said id never get elected president and i showed them well, ive been made to feel very welcome here today. And because i never show up to someones home empty handed, i brought some gifts for the crew. Truth is, i have a shipping container full of pete for president merch i cant get rid of. [cheers and applause] so everybody here got some new threads today. And im guessing by your expressions that some you might not have voted for me. I also found someone to take all the leftover bumper stickers and buttons off my hands. [cheers and applause] hey, everybody you look great guillermo. I feel great, mr. Pete. I spent most of the day teaching guillermo how to pronounce my last name and i think we finally got it. Want to give it a shot . Guillermo okay. All right. Mr. Pete buttacheese. Thats better than most people do. Im glad jimmy asked me to host tonight because, frankly, ive got nothing else going on. As you know, i dropped out of the president ial race last week which was unfortunate. But what can i say . Some candidates know when to get out of the race, and some candidates are tulsi gabbard. [cheers and applause] but really, running for president was an amazing experience. And i really thought we had a shot. Turns out i was about 40 years too young and 38 years too gay. But i do hope, at the very least, my president ial run has inspired some people. I mean right now, somewhere out there in america, there could a young kid thinking one day, i too can run for president while dressed like the manager of a carmax. They write the jokes for me the of yes, you can kid. Yes you can. And although we didnt win, we did achieve some pretty big milestones. Im the first gay person to ever win a president ial primary or caucus. [cheers and applause] and the first gay man in 30 years to wear pleated pants. We all have our journey. Im very excited about my guests tonight. We have music from jhene aiko featuring miguel. [cheers and applause] from veep, tony hale is here. [cheers and applause] and the one and only sir Patrick Stewart is with us. [cheers and applause] thats going to be great. Youll get to see captain picard interviewed by me, a guy who looks like spocks intern. I have been a huge star trek fan my whole life. And ive always thought Patrick Stewart was so cool because hes in charge of a fictional space fleet. Just like mike pence. Thats a good one, you really got loim. That was amazing. Oh hey, tony hale. Youre out here early. Well, i just felt bad nobody showed up to watch you host, so i thought id come down here and be a seat filler. Actually we did this because of the coronavirus. Hey man, whatever youve wi with, whatever helps you sleep at night. As i mentioned earlier, now that im out of the president ial race and no longer the mayor of south bend, im actually unemployed right now. This gig is nice but ive only got it for another 52 minutes or so. Luckily im right here on hollywood boulevard and opportunity is everywhere. So earlier today i took a walk around the neighborhood to see if i could scrounge up some work. Excuse me. You hiring at all . Any positions . No. Hi. Hello, how are you, sir . Are you guys hiring right now . Oh, no, sir, sorry. Thank you. All right of. Hi, how are you doing . Welcome, what can i get for you . Actually, i was here to speak about the jo to debbie. Hey, debbie what . This guy here wants to apply for a job. Lets make it quick. Thank you for meet being with me, debbie. Im very excited about this opportunity of what are your qualifications . I have degrees from harvard and oxford, served as a navy officer and won the iowa caucus. Can you name all five of our pretzel dips . Your what . Our dipping sauces. Ranch. Ranch . I thought you went to harvard. Okay. Heres a hypothetical. Lets say youre handing out samples and someone asks for a second one . What do you say . I would say america was founded on an ideal, and freedom isnt free, but pretzel samples should be, and i believe the time has come for us to build a new kind of politics, put aside our partisan fighting and unite around a common goal, pretzels for all who want them. The correct answer is no. And then you shove them. Got it. Have you ever twisted dough into knots . I have not. Make me a pretzel. Okay. Im sorry, but i dont think youre wetzel material. Isnt there anything i can do . I need work. I have one idea. Samples. Can i serve a free sample for you . Sure, requestcan i get anoth . Yeah, of course, have a nice day. I told you to shoveem im pretzel pete, and i approve this sketch. [cheers and applause] that was worth a shot. My thanks to debbie. And one more thing, there is a thursday night tradition here at the show. Every week they bleep and blur moments from tv, whether they need it or not. And in honor of my guest hosting stint tonight, they put together a special democratic primary edition of this week in unnecessary censorship. Awkward moment you mention claimed after the debate when senator Elizabeth Warren seemed to reject senator Bernie Sanders offer for a [ bleep ]. The time for small [ bleep ]s is over. My dad used to say a jobs about a lot more than a paycheck, joey, its about your [ bleep ]. I respect where youre coming from and i hope to earn your vote, but i dont plan to earn your vote by [ bleep ]ing you. On a good day my wife [ bleep ]s me. Lets clear the air of that one. If you want to compare [ bleep ], and frankly, im shocked that you do, i will be happy to do that. I didnt [ bleep ] pete, hes been [ bleep ]ing me. Do you guys [ bleep ] each other . No. Heres what i believe we should dream big, [ bleep ] hard and win. Bernie [ bleep ]s trump. Bernie [ bleep ]s trump. Bernie [ bleep ]s trump buttigieg, buttigieg. [ bleep ] you [ bleep ] you, iowa. I cant believe i get to say this weve got a great show for you tonight. We have music from jhene aiko and miguel. [cheers and applause] tony hale is here. [cheers and applause] and well be right back with sir Patrick Stewart. Stick around. [cheers and applause] dicky Abcs Jimmy Kimmel live, brought to you by wendys. They just dont know it yet. ding these are a few of my favorite things. Wendys is changing the game from this. To a breakfast that eats other breakfasts for breakfast. These are a few of my favorite things. Who says you cant have a baconator for breakfast . Dont just grab a coffee. Grab a frostyccino instead. And forget that frozenfoldedeggstuff. All of these have freshcracked eggs. One bite and itll be your new favorite. Guaranteed. Thats right. So, you up for this . Favorite things yeah yeah. Order up, its switching time. There, thats better. Switch to up to 12 hours of battery life. Switch to chromebook. Switch to chromebook. Great bag. 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Alfalfa sprout. We are americas kitchen. Doordash. Every flavor welcome. We are americas kitchen. You cant claim that because its inanimate people ask me what sort of person should become a celebrity accountant. And, i tell them, nobody should. Hey, buddy. Whats the damage . I bought it the waterfall . Nope a new volkswagen. A volkswagen . i think were having a breakthrough here welcome to caesars palace. Thank you. [cheers and applause] welcome back to Jimmy Kimmel Live. I am your guest host pete buttigieg. Tonight on the show, you know him from veep and arrested development. His animated show archibalds next big thing returns to netflix march 20th. Tony hale is here. [cheers and applause] and then, the album is called chilombo. Jhene aiko and miguel from the mercedesbenz stage. [cheers and applause] our first guest is an awardwinning and knighted actor who, when i was growing up, taught me everything i needed to know about running a city and a starship. Almost 20 years after saying farewell to starfleet and his crew, he returns to the role of jeanluc picard in star trek picard. And you thought i was a desperate old want a squadron. Out there in the system, right now, beings who have as much life and liberty as you and i all command data of being hunted down by an enemy who seeks to exterminate them. Jean luc. You are a waste of space new episodes of star trek picard stream thursdays on cbs all access. Please welcome sir Patrick Stewart. [cheers and applause] this is an absolute thrill. I got to get this out up front, i am a huge star trek fan, i always have been. I was a kid, come home from school at 4 00, my friend would come over and we would religiously watch every episode. When generations came out, i would watch it, and then theres halloween evidence from 1995. Just so you know, i really mean it. So i think its safe to say, at least among every mayor ive known, im about as big a star trek fan as can be. I gather there are a lot of figures in politics who are fans. Ma may i call you pete . Of coverurse. I have known one president , two chair men of the joint chiefs of staff one of which asked me, may i say the in your chair and Madeline Albright was a huge fan. So welcome to this company. One day, you know, we should have an event of well gather all these people together. It will be a kind of Star Trek Convention, but of a different sort of nature. I love it. So let me say this. Youve, not just the character but you have a commanding presence, i think its safe to say, to the point that senior military officers would want to check for your permission before sitting in a chair. So many figures from entertainment are in politics, the president of the ukraine, the president of the united states. Has anybody suggested that you go to Public Office . It has never crossed my mind, but yes, there have been proposals and suggestions, one in the united kingdom. Ive been a member of the labor party for 35 years, and i committed my first act of civil disobedience when i was 5 years old at the post world war ii general election in 1945, when, of course to everyones amazement, Winston Churchill was thrown out, and i have been a left wing man ever since. Which sometimes [cheers and applause] it can create a little problems sometimes in the united states, but i would get a lot of fun out of it. Theres a knonothing like sittin around a Beverly Hills dining table with a lot of guests and telling them youre socialist. Ah, dont come near me yeah, so, but i heard about your affection for star trek while were you campaigning. Oh. Early on in the campaign, i heard about that. So i tuned in to you. Youre terrific. Well, thank you. [cheers and applause] and you, you have a quality of speech make beiing, which isg to stand you in great stead. Because its spontaneous, immediate, its natural. It doesnt sound planned in any way. Are you saying i might have a future in latenight television . Only if you will invite me once a month. Deal. Done. Also i have to say, i also had the great pleasure of seeing you and sir ian mckellen in new york in why didnt you come back stage . I wonder, when you collaborate with a close friend in such an intense, professional environment, does that strengthen the friendship, test it . Whats it like working so closely and intensely with a good friend like that . It does both, pete. Its a little bit like a marriage. Sir ian married my wife and i. He performed the ceremony. He became qualified online of course. You can do almost anything online. Thats one of the great privileges of being mayor, you can marry people. Just like that . As long as its within our county in indiana. I was trying to avoid people. The staff hadnt come in, and this couple popped out of the elevator. Were so glad youre here, and i was thinking, what do you need . Turned out they were on the way to the hospital. She was going to get a csection. They wanted to be married so they could tell her parents that they were married when they also gave them the news about the new little one. So we just went ahead, took a ribbon, made it into a ring, did it on the spot. It was great fun. [cheers and applause] but i got to say, i mean, i cant imagine that i would have performed the Office Nearly in as much style as sir ian would have done. He was wonderful. Of the there were actually two ceremonies, which is not generally known, because we, we were in berkley, where we were doing the interplay, oh, forget it. And we learned that he could not use his credentials in nevada, where we getting married. My wife is from reno, and we were in california where the credentials were accepted. So in our last week, one night after the show, we invited ian and our two other guests and a director to a Mexican Restaurant for dinner of and it was really closing down when we got there. It was very late. And ian had brought with him a kind of robe, but our guests had no idea what was happening, and, in fact, we were formally married in a mexican res a different kind of wizardry. I love it. So he made a speech at the, supposedly authentic wedding, which was so moving. I looked out, and the audience were wiping their, men and william, a women, it was so emotional. It was very powerful. I dont know how much time we have, these things go very fast. For you. Oh. Can i open it now or . Please, yes, of course. Oh, my goodness. An original next [ applause ] look at that, oh, that will have pride of place. Wonderful. Its not just an original, because there are, you know, it there are scores and scores of copies. But this is my working script. You see . What a treasure. Pickard is on the line. And there are my handwritten s. That is an absolute treasure. Thank you so much. Would you like me to sign it . Oh, yes, absolutely. Right there. Oh, thats wonderful. Well, we about to [cheers and applause] we are about to test my fandom in a new way when we come back. Patrick stewart and i are going to go head to head in star trek trivia with a special guest. So stick around. [cheers and applause] dicky portions of Jimmy Kimmel Live are brought to you by paneras new unlimited coffee subscription. Panera, your cup sauls full. Soaring voices sing ] [ music begins to build ] [ drums beat faster ] introducing an unlimited coffee subscription for 8. 99 a month. At panera, your cup is always full. Take 25 off adidas . And save on nike. And vans. Save on adidas womens jackets. Mens nike graphic tees are just 19. 99. And vans sneakers are 64. 99 and under plus, get kohls cash and kohls takes your amazon returns too shop kohls and kohls dot com. Blow a kiss into the sun we need someone to lean on the new xc90 available with six seats. Xc90. Recharged. Lease the volvo xc90 for 499 per month. At your local volvo retailer. If youre 55 and up, tmobile has a plan designed just for you. And, for a limited time only, were making it an even better deal. Now you can get two lines for only 55. That includes unlimited talk, text and data. With no annual service contracts. It also includes talk, text and data when traveling in mexico and canada. So if youre 55 and up, you can now get two lines for only 55. Because at tmobile, we have a plan designed just for you. Dicky its time for the star trek trivia game thats sweeping the galaxy. Whos the captain now. Please welcome your host, lavar burton. [cheers and applause] thank you very much. Thank you. Thank you. Good evening and welcome first, he speaks eight languages, meet pete i hear you have dogs. Yes, i have two rescue dog, truman, hes originally from tennessee, but with us a couple years, buddy is our oneeyed puggle on a weight loss journey, and we love our our our our and his opponent tonight, hes a few pickards short of a hollow deck, say hi to pat [cheers and applause] great to see you again, pat. And you, lavar. Is it true, pat, that you wore a toupee during your audition for star trek, the next generation generation . The very final audition for the studio yes, i wore a hairpiece. Where is that hairpiece now . Its in my home, in my safe, secure. Why, you want to borrow it . No, im good, just wantin to know. Heres how the game works. I will ask you a question about star trek the next generation. The first one to buzz in gets an opportunity to answer the question. If you get it wrong the other contestant has an opportunity to steal. Every correct answer is worth ten dicky the lucky winner will have a star named after them. Retail value, hands on buzzers. The first question is name the only two characters to appear in both. Thats correct. Nicely done, sir. Heres question number two. What was the name of the bar on the Starship Enterprise . Ten forward. Ten forward is correct. What is jean luc pickards board name . Cutis aboard. This reaction shot became a widelypopular meme. Which character caused captain pickard to face palm . Pat . John delancey. Character name, please. Q. Q is correct. That was rough going for a second there, man. Are you sure you were on star trek . Do you even know who i am . All right. Oh, yes, i know who you are. Fun fact, i met John Delancey when he came to a Star Trek Convention when i was a kid. True story. For your trivia box there. All right. Warp didnt always wear a gold uniform. What color uniform did warf wear . Season one . Red. Red is correct. The good mayor surges into the lead, 30 20. True or false question, the Starship Enterprise was named after a rental car company. True or false . Pat . False. Youre right whew, boy, arent we glad that turned out the way it d all right we are tied. What was the title of the very first episode. Pat . Encounter at far point. Thats correct, sir. All right, pete. All right. Here we go. That sound means its time for our final question. And here we go. For all the marbles, did my character, Jordy Laforge wear boxers or briefs . Pete . Boxers . No, wrong. Oh, i know. Pat. Nothing thats correct. Thats absolutely correct. Pat, you are the captain now [cheers and applause] and here comes your certificate from the International Star registry. You, sir, have earned your perme permanent place in the cosmos. Thank you for playing whos your captain now. [ applause ] thank you so much for hosting this game. Its been a dream come true for me. Levar burton everyone be sure to check out his podcast levar burton reads available on apple podcasts, stitcher, and spotify. And thanks to my opponent and guest, sir Patrick Stewart. [cheers and applause] new episodes of star trek picard are available to stream thursdays on cbs all access. Well be right back with tony hale. [cheers and applause] theres a company thats talked to even more real people than me jd power. 448,134 to be exact. They answered 410 questions in 8 categories about vehicle quality. And when they were done, chevy earned more j. D. Power quality awards across cars, trucks and suvs than any other brand over the last four years. So on behalf of chevrolet, i want to say thank you, real people. Youre welcome. Were gonna need a bigger room. Get em while theyre hot. Applebees 25 cent boneless wings are back in your choice of three sauces. Applebees 25 cent boneless wings vo i want to rock rock i want to rock rock i want to rock rock i want to rock rock i want to. Rock rock i want to rock rock i want to rock rock rock rock rock rock rock rock rock i want to rock rock rock rock i want to rock chris rock whod you expect . Sylvester Stallone i dont know. 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Are haikus better than fleece . Than. Fleece edition. Uh no way grapes . pet rocks . What . are wizards better than fleece . you stole my bit neil. And no, nothings better than fleece. Get thirty percent off everything or forty percent with an Old Navy Credit card. At old navy youve joined jimmy johns youve placed your first order. Lets see what you win oh, incredible another winner free sandwich sign up for freaky fast rewards® and earn a free sandwich after your first order. Dramatic choir music dramatic choir music dramatic choir music its the rush of relaxation. Introducing the allnew lincoln corsair. Our next guest is one of those very talented actors who only appears on really, really funny shows, like veep, arrested development, and Jimmy Kimmel Live with guest host mayor pete. And he is the creator and star of an animated show for kids. A new season of archibalds next big thing premieres march 20th on netflix. Please say hello to twotime emmy winner, tony hale. [cheers and hey you play well. You did good on the game show, man, youre doin so good. Its fun to do things other than give speeches. I was thinking if you had a game show about the characters i played, the topics would be like emass clags and trauma. Speaking of which, when i was mayor of south bend people would ask me which tv show my life resembled most. Parks and regul parks a parks and recreation is kind of like that. But sadly the most realistic show was veep. I wonder how many people talk about how absurd it is, it captures the reality of being involved no politics. Its scary. Sometimes i watch the news and i want to laugh but i feel guilty about laughing. And it was a nice political outlet that you didnt feel guilty at laughing at. You can channel it. Yeah, you can channel it, but when i hear that, its not good news. Beyond veep, you will have shows on all of the five major streaming services, which is a real feat. It got me thinking, in politics. Heres a one thing, weve got to think of a name for it. In politics, they call it the full ginsburg, named after bill clintons lawyer in the 90s, where you would appear on all five sunday shows. I did it one time in new hampshire. The full tony, the full hale. I like the full tony, theres probably actors out there who are like, im on all five. Youve been doing a lot. I really miss veep. We really got close. I dont know if youve met julia. Yeah, shows fantastic. There were a lot of people who loved the show and the characters on the show, their names were like dan and selena, and people in d. C. Would be oh, im dan on your show, im salina on your show. And theyre horrible people. Why are you saying this out loud . Theyre like, oh, my god, im the amy in my office. Im like, please, stop talking. The less you resemble anybody on the show the better. Yeah, and i really miss them a lot. Another great thing about the show, you among all the characters probably got to do the most physical. Oh, yeah, i wasnt allowed to speak. I would stand behind salina. My character was even called a bitchy mime on the show. Maybe you dont like people and you cant say it. That never happens. Youve a body, i was like a body man. You have one of those. Yeah, her name is sarah. Couldnt life without her. The thing is, is it weird when youre talking to someone and she comes up and whispers something in your ear about them . Because i would have to do that to her. Isnt that weird that im giving her information about the person shes talking to . This is the strange thing about being in that role is that in many ways you ask the team to help manage you. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Theyre keeping you informed, thinking about all these Different Things so you dont have to, and you really rely on that knowledge they can provide. I was allowed to nonverbally say what she couldnt say. I could have used that. Yeah, yeah, yeah. She didnt like a guy, and i could be behind her and be like, what a douche. I could give a lot of nonverbal. Lets talk about this new project, archibalds next big thing. Its for children, animated. Whats it like doing voice work . Oh, its so fun. The show came from, i did this Childrens Book years wag ith m b buddies. And the show, he treats everything like its a big thing. So he sees the best in everyone and the best in every situation, which i think we need more of in our world, by the way. Something America Needs anyway. [cheers and applause] and its so fun. And the, recently, my friend julie hall, she has this 2yearold named harper, a sweet little 2yearold, and she was having a hard time putting harper in the car seat, and she says tony, will you do archibalds voice for harper . And i was like, hey, harper, how are you doin . And the child went into a cat tonic state. She stared. All the color left her face and she was able to put her in her car seat. So im available for birthday parties. Thanks so much for joining us. Season two of archibalds next big thing premieres march 20th on netflix. Tony hale, everybody well be right back with music from jhene aiko and miguel dicky the Jimmy Kimmel Live concert ser ease is presented by the 2020 gle, mercedes benz, the best or nothing. Dicky the Jimmy Kimmel Live Concert Series have presented by mer said ease benz. Thank you for letting me share a great evening with you. Americas in for some tough times. To get through it were gonna need unity, strength, and our sense of humor more than ever. My thanks to sir Patrick Stewart, tony hale, levar burton, and jimmy kimmel for letting me sit in tonight. Nightline is next, but first, the song is called, happiness over everything with a little help from miguel, jhene aiko these red roses damn near turn to ashes ooh if i keep it real you wont understand it these dirty blogs got your mind damaged woo ill walk a million miles to see you happy i hope she dont think that i think that she some kinda some kinda i dont care that just lets me know that she knows what she wants yeah baby i wont judge nooh nooh no no no now im sure that she knows what she wants yeah i aint gonna hold you baby i like what i see that print in them sweatpants got me weak off in my knees ive been thinking bout you since we met at no i. D. s if youre free tonight i think that you should come see me oh oh oh oh dont be scared of my aggression oh oh oh oh just dont get the wrong impression i hope she dont think that i think that she some kinda some kinda i dont care that just lets me know that she knows what she wants yeah baby i wont judge nooh nooh no no no now im sure that she knows what she wants yeah i cant never have a hater bone inside my body i just like it better when my girl do her pilates i wanna dress you up and have you fresher than a stylist think about any drama when your body traumatizing you so caught up in the hype you coulda easily been my wife i see the way your friends look they already thinkin im sheisty they misunderstood me when they say im jesus christ i just want you to worship me i like what i like ill feed you to the wolves if you dont talk to me nice oh oh oh they gon try to crucify me they think we worship luminati oh oh oh i take my heart and i go hide it i hope she dont think that i think that she some kinda some kinda i dont care that just lets me know that she knows what she wants yeah baby i wont judge nooh nooh no no no now im sure that she knows what she wants yeah yeah i chose happiness over everything over anything and its everything yeah happiness over everything over anything and its everything to me this is nightline. Tonight, put to the test. Frankly, the testing has been going very smooth. Where we really stand on diagnosing covid19. It is a failure. Lets admit it. Who has the test . Who needs the test . When can you get the test . People should not say they want a test and go get a test right now. Thats coming. Its not here right now. And boots on the ground in americas first containment zone. They want to make sure families dont go hungry. Broadway and amusement parks go dark, wide world of sports going dark. And an apology from the nbas patient zero. This special

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