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Bluey Praised For Tackling Difficult Subject Of Walking In On Parents During Their Scheduled Weekly Sex

NEW YORK Earning widespread praise from adult viewers, a new episode of the animated children’s TV series Bluey tackled the difficult subject of walking in on your parents during their scheduled weekly sex, sources confirmed Monday. “We watch Bluey every week as a family, and I tell you, when Bandit sat Bluey down to…

Americans Explain Why We Should Call The National Guard On College Protesters

In response to growing antiwar protests at American universities, including Columbia, Yale, and MIT, some outspoken critics have demanded the U.S. military take action. The Onion asked Americans why they believe the National Guard should be called on students, and this is what they said.

Airlines Now Required To Refund Canceled Or Delayed Flights In Cash

The Transportation Department issued a new rule requiring airlines provide customers with automatic cash refunds in the event of flight cancellations or significant delays, saving passengers a projected $500 million in the next year. What do you think?

Teacher Forced To Pay For Students Plan B Out Of Pocket

FINDLAY, OH Expressing frustration with the pressures of working in an underfunded public high school, local teacher Jason Corgenne told reporters Monday that he was forced to pay out of pocket just so his students could have access to the emergency contraception drug Plan B. “If we don’t have morning-after pills in…

Columbia University Gives Students Option To Finish Classes From Prison

NEW YORK Emphasizing that it was their only option amid the rampant protests that had erupted on campus, Columbia University announced Monday that it had given students the option to finish classes from prison. “Given the current political turmoil and the many safety hazards it poses, all current students will be…

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