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In response to growing antiwar protests at American universities, including Columbia, Yale, and MIT, some outspoken critics have demanded the U.S. military take action. The Onion asked Americans why they believe the National Guard should be called on students, and this is what they said.

United statesNational guardRodney lefletHouston pattonLthea romanYle egertRoger whiteRtie schiffAnik patelNjula batraAtthew kirbergerAul linettiEffrey garronGreta daviesBethany floresRachel weinberger