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Polish Landlord s Dream

Unit contains resident who leaves out fresh roast chickens and keeps jug of milk in fridge. Take and eat whatever you want they can’t stop you!

Inconsolable Anna Wintour Changes Met Gala Theme To Looking Like Shit After Waking Up Feeling Ugly

NEW YORK Throwing another outfit across the room with an emphatic sob, an inconsolable Anna Wintour reportedly changed tonight’s Met Gala theme to “Looking Like Shit” after waking up feeling ugly. “Sorry for the last-minute change, everyone, but the theme is now ‘Being An Ugly Piece Of Shit’ to accommodate me feeling…

17 Days In Incubator Longest Time Premature Baby Will Go Without Being Exposed To Advertising

NEW YORK Describing the newborn’s stint in a neonatal intensive care unit as a brief, blissful period during which she was still beyond the reach of marketers, sources confirmed Monday that her 17 days in an incubator would be the longest period of her life in which premature baby Rosalyn Williams was not exposed to…

Annoying Teen On Train Has Girlfriend s Whole Face In Mouth

NEW YORK With multiple eyewitnesses saying the public display of affection on a Manhattan-bound F train had gotten way out of hand, reports confirmed Friday that annoying teen Thomas Hansler had his girlfriend’s whole face in his mouth. “Ugh, if he wants to apply that much suction to her forehead, eyes, nose, mouth,…

Arrests At Pro-Palestinian College Protests Reach 2,000 Nationally

According to a tally by the Associated Press, the number of individuals arrested at college protests held in support of Palestinians in Gaza has surpassed 2,000 across 36 schools. What do you think?

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