Times a year to check out the smoke alarm in the greenroom. Also, jim gaffigan and dave salmoni is here. He brought a menagerie of creatures, including a striped skunk. I think its a skunk, eith that, or im smelling snoops dressing room. He also brought what is called a alligator turtle. I googled it. It should be fighting mothra in japan. Theres dave right there. Hey, dave, whats this animal . This is a fennec fox whose name is bob. Jimmy bob the fox. Does he know how many Instagram Likes he could get . Anything cute like this, he gets lots of likes. Jimmy thats dave salmoni. You know, President Trump took a field trip to bask in the glow of workers at a petrochemicals plant. He was there to talk energy. And of course immediately steered the conversation from energy to himself. And we make a lot of jokes about this president , but its important to remember just how much hes sacrificed for the good of us. This thing is costing me a fortune being president. Somebody said oh, he might ha
Offices in the bay area closed after a fired employee made a threat about guns. Im kate larson in San Francisco, what police say coming up. People in fairfield are learning what to go in an active shooter situation. Cooler weather is on the way. A group of young girls from around the globe are tackling real World Problems with technology. Abc7 news starts right now. Now, news to build a better bay area. Abc 7. You are looking at the bay bridge tonight and prepare for things to be warm when the sun comes up tomorrow. Relief is on the way from the heat wave. Sandy will explain about it, we are looking forward to it. I bet, we cannot get it soon enough. Lets take a look at the temperatures today. And the records. 100 degrees, both records for today, 109 in fairfield, now, that is brutal heat. 99 san jose, and 103 in santa sa rosa, it was hot in other areas, concord, livermore, and comfortable around 85 in San Francisco and 68 in half moon a bay. We have an excessive heat warning until 10
I dont know if they get much bigger. I really dont. Jimmy well, no, they dont. Im shocked at this bigness. Jimmy what does it feel like to be 80 years old . Older than 70. Jimmy it does . You know much older than 70, but younger than 90. So im stuck in the middle there. Jimmy it is hard to come up with a plan to celebrate an 80th birthday. Most people have a brunch or something, but my aunt chippy isnt most people. We thought what better way to commemorate this special day, an 80th birthday than to jump out of nowhere and scare her repeatedly. Surprise woo happy birthday i come in the room and all im thinking is im going to take a hot shower. Holy [ bleep ] youre going to kill me whats the matter with you people . Are you surprise [ bleep ]. If theres any more of this [ bleep ] around, i swear to god im going to have to kill somebody. Thank god nobodys here. Surprise prise you gotta be kidding me. Surprise woo youre not going to let me live, and theyre not going to let me die. Im reall
Because mostly i just keep doing this. But over the last couple weeks my future and maybe even my destiny has become more clear. My plan is to move to newfoundland to become mayor of a small but fascinating town. The people of have a new neighbor. One of the oldest motorcycle clubs in the country. And the Small Community making a big statement about plastic bags. These stories plus dildos ready for jimmy kimmel if jimmy is ready for dildo. Yes, he is. Hes never been more ready for dildo. Right, guillermo . Oh, right, guillermos not here because guillermo is in dildo. Hes leading my advance team. And word on the street in dildo is theres a lot of excitement for his visit. Any sign of guillermo yet . Well, caroline, not yet. Were still waiting around to see. But everyones eyes are peeled for guillermo and thats what everyones talking about too. Theyre wondering where he is, when hes going to arrive. Jimmy thats pretty much what we wonder every day here at work. [ laughter ] its like a tr
Monsta x. Theyre a band of boys from south korea. Theyre very popular. Some people have been camping out for five days, which is sad, really, more than anything. Its because they showed up last night, theyd still be in the front row. Theres no need, but anyway, monsta x is a souper popular group. The names, im sorry if i mispronounce. Larrys not one of the guys. One of the things about this band, they wear a lot of makeup. We thought it would be fun to ask the guys to do an monsta x extreme makeover on a member of our staff. So we picked a member randomly of our staff. And they gathered around, and wow, wait until you see how quickly they did this. Its almost some kind of tv magic. Now here he is. Come on in, guillermo, lets see how you look. [cheers and applause] jimmy you look fantastic. [cheers and applause] jimmy you look like a female, you remember when bugs bunny would dress as a woman . Yeah. Jimmy and elmer fudd would try to have sex with him . Thats you. My god. Jimmy speaking