Know today is st. Patricks day the day america celebrate its Irish Heritage by engaging in every irish stereotype imaginable. Seriously, if we observed other ethnic holidays the way we observed today columbus today would be about make a nice sunday song. Wed celebrate kwanzaa late. laughter thats right. Italians make sauce plaque people show up late. Its just science, people. But think about it, all day today we drink, we fight in the streets. We drink. We pee in the streets. We drink. We puke in the streets. And then when were done, we do a little bit of this. Oh larry oh, my god. So thats why you wear green so your barf matched your shirt. Its all about coordinating. There is so much drunk d. N. A. On the sidewalk after st. Patricks day scientists could combine it to make a frat bro super villain. They could use the times square ball to play beer pong. Turn glaciers into ice luges. It would be a disaster. But now, is drunk and towardly the way we celebrate every holiday . We drink on
Noticed we were on vacation last week. Big changes happened while we were gone. We got a new table. Do you guys like it new table. Very nice. Before we get to tonights top story, though, lets check in with our big march madness contest. Larry wilmore march madness 2015 it is. Hey, everybody, it is strictly boner time right now, the situation is intense, all right . You guys know what i am talking about. Tonight, the game between duke and wisconsin by the way, i want to personally thank wisconsin for beating kentucky, okay . [ cheers and applause ] thank you. Thank you very much. I did not want to get baby birded. All right . Mmm mmm, mmm, mmm. Actually, it doesnt look that bad, actually. Now if wisconsin wins tonightly host the show in a suit of armor, okay . And if duke wins i will host in spandex. Oh, no are you kidding me . No, no, no no. Either way i am paying off the bet this thursday. Okay . So you will definitely want to tune in. Thursday night thats when i am paying off. Let me
Names in the snee . laughter welcome to my noshame zone. This is the nightly show. cheers and applause cheers and applause larry thank you. Thank you very much. Appreciate it. Ah that makes me feel so good. Welcome to the nightly show. Im your host, larry wilmore. Sorry it looks like ive been crying but you know, the truth is i have. I got guys, i got really, really, really bad news today, and i just wanted to share it with everyone. Um, zayn is leaving one direction. laughter applause when i heard i locked myself in my dressing room. I wasnt going to come out until my producer said, larry, what would zayn do . He would do the show. , of course, until he decide to stop, and then applause im better. All right, im better better. All right. Here we go. We begin tonight with 13yearold sports phenom mone davis an allstar Little League pitcher who was recently entrenched in a controversy. The 13yearold sphe nom who inspired a disney movie is standing up for a College Athlete who tweeted some
This is a gift from the comedy god. I mean, cruz is a guy that even fellow republican john mccain called a wacko bird. laughter thanks for your service, senator mccain. laughter but any time a crazy guy enters an election you have a late night show job security for a little while longer. laughter rent gonna get paid. Lights gonna get turned back on. Some money. Some money. Thats why were oh, by the way, thats why we are so excited to announce the start of our 2016 election coverage. laughter larry thats right. You got it. applause thats right. cheers backlash 2016 the unblackening begins tonight. It is time for america to say bleep you to the notion that once you go black you never go back. laughter so how did mr. Cruz announce his Mission Impossible run for president . Right around midnight conservative fire brand ted cruz tweeted out this announcement. Im running for president. Larry im sorry, did she say tweeted and around midnight . Is ted cruz trying to win hashtag wars . laughter
Josephs. Theyre well aware of the investigation investigation the allegations and conducting an investigation. They wont comment what the haze hazing involved. The team went to the Washington Area for a game this weekend. This just in a miracle rescue at sea for a man missing more than two months. Louis jordan went fishing on his sailboat and vanished. A man noticed the german man sitting on the hull of his sail sailboat and took him to safety and airlifted him to the hospital in norfolk. He had a shoulder injury and de hydrated but okay. He survived on fish he caught. This broadcast shows some of the final moments of a man who died in police custody. That accident happened tuesday and immediately led to controversy. Live in Cumberland County where hes been looking live for answers. What did you find . We found some answers and showed the video on my cell phone to a police sergeant. He said he hadnt seen it before and couldnt comment. I called the cumberland prosecutor on her cell phon