It was 81 degrees today here, almost makes me feel guilty when i think of my friends back home but not really they have better pizza thats worth the cold. Hey the east coast is basically a slurpe, schools are closed all thanks to winter storm lee am. The winter channel picked up sound as the storm built over the Great Lengths because liam is a winter storm to be reckoned with. I will look for you. [ laughter ] i will find you. And i will kill you. Oh, my god well, run, because this storm has a very particular set of skills. Anyway warm wishes to those of you in liams path. Lately have you seen President Trumps hair flapping in the wind if you havent youre in for a treat this is friday heading into mara lago for the weekend and his hair tried to fly off without him. Now the red hats make sense. [ cheers and applause ] think we might have to see that again. Yeah. See you can see, this is why darth vader had the good sense to wear a helmet. According to White House Press secretary Sarah S
I think of my friends back home but not really they have better pizza thats worth the cold. Scl thanks to winter storm lee am. Is a winter storm to be reckoned with. I will look for you. [ laughter ] i will find you. And i will kill you. Oh, my god of you in liams path. Lately have you seen President Trumps hair flapping in the wind if you havent youre in for a treat this is friday heading into mara lago for the weekend and his hair tried to fly off without him. Now the red hats make sense. [ cheers and applause ] think we might have to see that again. Yeah. See you can see, this is why darth vader had the good sense to wear a helmet. According to White House Press secretary Sarah Sanders the president s hair stood still and he doesnt have a bald spot and anything tohe contrary is fake news. Remember in the campaign when trump took strong stand against something makes no sense. The wind kills all your birds, all your birds, killed. Environmentallists dont talk about that. Wouldnt say i
Birthday. Abraham lincoln was [ cheers and applause ] born 209 years ago. Of course he was tragically assassinated at fords theater in washington by a member of ms13. [ laughter ] i read that on the white house website. Is that not right . Lincoln was known i was looking him up today. He was known as honest, a the great emancipator, the rail splitter, tight coop. He had a lot of nicknames. He was like the diddy of 1863. [ laughter ] even had his own vodka. [ laughter ] you know, its funny. When you think about president lincolns hat, the tall stovepipe hat he wore, and then you think about Donald Trumps hat. Its kind of all you need to know, right . [ cheers and applause ] today isnt president s day. President s day is next monday. But president obama and his wife michelle were honored at the Smithsonian Today with the unveiling of their official portraits. This is a tradition that goes back to George Washington in 1796. Its a big deal. And the obamas were there in person to be part of
Birthday. Abraham lincoln was [ cheers and applause ] born 209 years ago. Of course he was tragically assassinated at fords theater in washington by a member of ms13. [ laughter ] i read that on the white house website. Is that not right . Lincoln was known i was looking him up today. He was known as honest, a the great emancipator, the rail splitter, tight coop. He had a lot of nicknames. He was like the diddy of 1863. [ laughter ] even had his own vodka. [ laughter ] you know, its funny. When you think about president lincolns hat, the tall stovepipe hat he wore, and then you think about Donald Trumps hat. Its kind of all you need to know, right . [ cheers and applause ] today isnt president s day. President s day is next monday. But president obama and his wife michelle were honored at the Smithsonian Today with the unveiling of their official portraits. This is a tradition that goes back to George Washington in 1796. Its a big deal. And the obamas were there in person to be part of
laughter where are his brains . Nobody knows. Now, lets head down the esophagus and take a look at his stomach. Are we floating in stomach acid . No, its diet coke. laughter look, theres a halfeaten mcd. L. T. In here, and they stopped making those in 1990. Into the blood stream, kids. Oh, no were being attacked by his white blood cells. And theyre wearing hoods laughter quick, lets get out of here, down the large intestine. Watch out. Thats his prostate. growling laughter its so enormous and angry. Time to leave. And theres only one way out. How . Remember the word trump used to describe haiti . Thats our emergency exit. laughter oh, there are his brains aarrgggh cheers and applause its the late show with Stephen Colbert. Tonight the shutdown showdown. Plus, stephen welcomes Ricky Gervais. Matt czuchry. And musical guest bon jovi. Featuring jon batiste and stay human. And now, live on tape from the ed sullivan theater in new york city, its Stephen Colbert cheers and applause band play