The point is, kids love a snow day. Now, before we go, jack, could you tell us if this cold is going to let up any time soon . laughter ill take that as a no. Announcer its the late show with Stephen Colbert tonight, freezing temps, hot tweets plus, stephen welcomes Anderson Cooper. Maz jobrani. And musical guest margo price. Featuring jon batiste and stay human. And now, live on tape from the ed sullivan theater in new york city, its Stephen Colbert band playing cheers and applause stephen how are you . Hey, everybody wooo wooo cheers and applause wooo oh, youve got to love it thank you so much. Please, have a seat. Youre too kind. Thank you very much. How lovely. cheers and applause piano riff please, got to love it. Every january every january they ship in fresh audiences for us and thats so wonderful. Welcome to the late show, everybody. Im your host, Stephen Colbert. cheers and applause piano riff thank you very much. Its our first, first show of 2018. Happy new years, everybody.
Stephen youre wearing lavender and Peach Blossom perfume. No, sir. I think thats the glade plugin youre smelling. laughter stephen ah, yes, freshness all day. Still hunting President Trump . Do you know him . Stephen i do. We were golfing buddies once. We ate our caddy, turned him into a taco bowl with a nice diet coke. Pfpfpfpfpfpf. laughter doctor, what can you tell me about the president . Stephen you already have the answers. What is his nature . What does he do, this man you seek . Hes hes an idiot who says the first thing that comes to mind. Stephen no, that is incidental. Quid pro quo, clarice. Tell me your worst memory of the election. One night, on a tuesday, donald trump won the presidency, and then i heard a strange noise. It sounded like a scream, like some kind of screaming. Stephen what did you do . I crept into the living room. The tv was on. I was so scared. So scared. Msnbc, the anchors, they were crying. They were crying. Stephen thank you, clarice. Now its your turn,
And featuring the legendary roots crew. Questlove yeah steve and now, here he is, jimmy fallon [ cheers and applause ] [ cheers and applause ] jimmy that is a hot crowd that is a hot, hot crowd right there. [ cheers and applause ] welcome oh, i love you. I love you welcome, everybody. Welcome to the tonight show. This is it. [ cheers and applause ] youre here you made it thank you for being here. Well, heres what heres what people are talking about. I read that a democratic congressman is introducing a a bill that would force president ial candidates to take a Mental Health exam. [ cheers ] it is called the too little, too late act. [ laughter and applause ] and its im a stable genius. Im einstein. Okay, very good. So listen to this. It came out that the fbi might have had an informant inside the trump campaign. It was someone who wouldnt draw much attention from trump, which narrows it down to don junior and eric. So, i mean, its one of those guys. [ laughter and applause ] also, i re
Tool. Seriously. Its less secret society and more society. You dont have to hide me. Ebbed knows hes a tool. My name gary farbla. Alive at 34 sandalwood lane in arlington, i work with the f. B. I. Here are my credentials. I like mold planes, golf. You are the president of the smash mouth fan club voice distorted no comment. Announcer its the late show with Stephen Colbert, tonight, trump makes doubles straight again. Plus stephen welcomes gi get gwh paltrow, ben mckenzie, and musical guest thirty seconds to mars, featuring jon batiste and stay human. Now live on tape from the ed sullivan theater in new york city, its Stephen Colbert cheers and applause band playing stephen hey, everybody thank you very much very kind ladies and gentlemen, welcome to the late show. Im your host, Stephen Colbert. cheers and applause well, its day two of trumps trip to davos conference in the swiss alps. Its loaded with celebrities. Will. I. Am is there, Cate Blanchett is there. Obviously, the swiss miss
Last night, we put the kids to bed and tiptoed out. They never knew the sitter was there, it was beautiful. We went out late, had a very good meal at an italian restaurant, we sat outside, a very pleasant night. A prie fixe meal, it was good. Somewhere between it was somewhere between the main course and dessert, behind my wife, a rat ran down the wall. [ laughter ] and into a planter. Then back up and back over the wall and disappeared. And man oh man, if you were looking for a way to get a well in the mood saying i just saw a rat behind you is not it. [ laughter ] the waitress comes back, she can see something was up because im sitting on top of my chair now. And i say kind of quietly, bought i dont want to alarm everyone in the restaurant, i just saw a rat run up and down the wall. She said, oh, yeah, im supposed to tell you that was a squirrel. [ laughter ] [ applause ] then we got the check. It was a romantic night. Guillermo, how did things go for you . Guillermo terrible. Jimmy