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Transcripts For KGO Jimmy Kimmel Live 20240713

Stanley cup or whatever . Well, today the president had one of those for himself. He invited himself to the white house for a big stack of cheeseburgers. If youve wondering what the president s mood would be after his acquittal yesterday, it was this. This is really not a news conference. Its not a speech. Its not anything. Its just were sort of its a celebration. Because we have something that just worked out. I mean, it worked out. We went through hell, unfairly. Did nothing wrong. Did nothing wrong. Ive done things wrong in my life, i will admit. Not purposely, but ive done things wrong. But this is what the end result is. [ cheers and applause ] you can take that home, honey, maybe well frame it. Jimmy donald trump is the only person who would celebrate almost being thrown out of the white house. [ laughter ] he ranted and raved for more than an hour this afternoon, airing every grievance, grinding every ax. It was his pettysburg address. [ laughter ] and he took shots at those he ....

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Transcripts For KGO Jimmy Kimmel Live 20240713

Afternoon. This i thought was interesting. She did it, she signed her name one letter at a time, using a different pen each time. She used 22 pens to sign her name. What is going on . Did she get an endorsement deal with bic . Its hard to argue youre not enjoying the impeachment when you turn it into a calligraphy class all of a sudden. Speaking of pelosi, she named impeachment managers including jerry nadler, adam schiff, and newly available red sox manager alex cora joined the team. They really want to win this. This is big stuff, only the third time in American History articles of impeachment have been sent to the senate, which means starting tuesday donald joanna trump will become the first former steak salesman to be tried for abuse of power and obstruction of congress. Senate Majority Leader Mitch Mcconnell insisted the trial will be fair, there will ....

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Transcripts For KNTV The Tonight Show Starring Jimmy Fallon 20240713

Guests Robert Downey jr aidy bryant, musical guest Little Big Town, and featuring the legendary roots crew questlove 1188 steve and now, here he is, jimmy fallon [ cheers and applause [ cheers and applause jimmy oh, welcome everybody. Thank you so much. Welcome, welcome, welcome, welcome to the tonight show. Youre here. Thank you. [ cheers and applause it seems like there is so much is going on right now. Today the house sent the impeachment articles to the senate a cheating scandal in Major League Baseball cost the Boston Red Sox manager his job. [ cheers ] Ken Jennings Ken jennings won the jeopardy greatest of all time tournament [ cheers and applause and an entire town in michigan smells like weed, ....

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Transcripts For KGO Jimmy Kimmel Live 20240713

On to the most popular sexual position of all, obligatory. If youre smart, youll do what i do on valentines. You dont have to make a big deal out of it, you dont have to spend a lot of money. Just hand your wife a single rose and say this means you get to stay. I thought you loved the bachelor this is something i learned today. You know those little candy hearts that have the messages on them that taste like a mixture between rubber and chalk . Originally, they were called wedding candies. Now we call them sweethearts. They were invented by a man in the mid1800s by a man named daniel chase, who invented a machine that stamped messages on the hearts, but the messages in the 1800s, were different, your blanket has pox, richmond has fallen, trains been blown up. Bear ate little joe. Youre my favorite prostitute and cobblepot. The cobblepot talk got people going back then. Former White House Press
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Transcripts For KNTV Late Night With Seth Meyers 20240713

The address was hillary clintons. [ light laughter ] President Trump this morning accused last nights strike by iran on u. S. Targets as being funded by money given to them under the obamaera nuclear deal man, is there anything he wont blame obama for . Mulligan, thats obamas fault. [ light laughter ] the u. S. Army issued a warning yesterday about a fraudulent Text Message Campaign claiming to draft recipients for world war iii. Come on. If you get drafted youre not going to get a text. Youll youll get a tweet [ laughter ] prince harry and duchess Meghan Markle announced on instagram this afternoon that theyre stepping away from the royal family and moving to canada, or as it was reported in british tabloids, meghan kidnapped harry [ light laughter ] prince harry and duchess
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