Something really unusual, and im going to invite you to attend one of Donald Trumps rallies. Theres no need to feel down i said, young man really interesting thing to watch. Women, i wont be following you around to the hospitals, monitoring. What you will also notice is people start leaving his rallies early out of exhaustion and boredom. By the way, her crowds are zero. Her crowds, she has no crowds. Ill tell you, The One thing you will not hear him talk about is you. Theyre taking the geese. You know where they are, The Park and the lake, even walking off with their pets. My dog has been taken. You will not hear him talk about your needs, dreams, and your desires. I always liked him. Im not going to watch him anymore. Im not going to watch him because hes not legit. What he did, im not going to watch him. [ applause ] and his hair is not as good as it used to be, you know . Ill tell you, i believe you deserve a president who actually puts you first. Mom is so proud. Come on, baby, yo
[ light laughter ] youre watching impeachment after dark live its the only show that talks about how im being treated very badly by the very rude, very nasty media [ light laughter ] theyre very rude and theyre very nasty [ laughter ] its just like a real housewives after show, if instead of committing tax fraud, they committed obstruction of justice [ light laughter ] and tax fraud. [ laughter ] now i know what youre probably all thinking its day three of the hearings your favorite president must be melting down by now. But it couldnt be further from the truth. In fact, just this week, i was rushed to the hospital for my standard physical. [ laughter ] everyone said i was a perfect patient. I even got a lollipop. [ laughter ] you always get the lolly roy cohn told me that. [ light laughter ] as always, im joined by my attorney general bill barr at the bill barr bar bar. [ laughter ] great to be here, mr. President and on behalf of your staff this week [ light laughter ] thank you fant
[ cheers and applause ] steve from studio 6b in Rockefeller Center in the heart of new york city, its the tonight show starring jimmy fallon. Tonight, join jimmy and his guests Hillary Rodham clinton, Jonathan Groff, musical guest Sasha Alex Sloan, and featuring the legendary roots crew. Questlove 1952 steve and now, here he is, jimmy fallon [ cheers and applause ] [ cheers and applause ] jimmy oh, thats a hot crowd. Oh, feels good. Oh, i love you. Enjoy yourself. Enjoy yourself. Welcome everybody. Welcome, welcome, welcome to the tonight show youre here. [ cheers and applause ] thanks for watching. Well guys, Hillary Rodham clinton is my guest tonight [ cheers and applause ] she is here to promote her new Broadway Musical. [ light laughter ] shes going to talk about the upcoming election. And then give her review of godzilla x6kong. Its gonna be a very interesting show. [ cheers and applause ] i dont know why hillary produced a new Broadway Musical calls suffs, about the womens suffra
Within the ranks. We saw that play out over the past few weeks, with kevin versus steve and steve versus jim. First there was freddy vs. Jason, then alien vs. Predator, then kevin vs. Steve, then steve vs. Jim. But now, get ready for a nightmare like any before. Its tom vs. Austin vs. Byron vs. Kevin vs. Gary vs. Jack vs. Mike vs. Pete vs. Dan. Who will win . Who will lose . And who is this one again . Pete . Maybe dan . Is there a dwight . For the love of god, just pick someone tom vs. Austin vs. Third guy vs. Whats his face vs. Whos his name vs. Cant remember vs. The rest of em. Rated r for ridiculous. Announcer its the late show with Stephen Colbert tonight. A house misguided. First, stephen welcomes Daniel Radcliffe, Jonathan Groff, and lindsay mendez. And musical guest arlo parks. Featuring louis cato and the late show band. And now, live on tape from the ed sullivan theater in new york city, its Stephen Colbert still valerio girl. Thats right. How are you . [cheers and applause]