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COM The Daily Show With Jon Stewart July 31, 2013

[ cheers and applause ] a glorious human being. But we start tonight with justice. Now earlier this summer we heard a lot about the Supreme Court which likedded gay marriage but not southern minorities ability to vote for it. But there are other much less Supreme Courts. Did you know that you are sitting in one right now . Thats right. Its time for tonights installment of judge johnny. Bail live, shoot that man. You are about to enter the courtroom of judge johnny oliver. Melissa, please pass your knives and go. Hes not legally trained. His understanding of the judicial system is based entirely on reruns of night court. All right, boys, hit the showers. His decisions are generally bad. This is judge johnny. [ cheers and applause ] court is in session. Jason jones, please call tonights first defendant. Judge johnny, the people call the halliburton corporation. You may know them ....

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CNBC Squawk On The Street July 26, 2013

Accommodation. The road map begins with the third best quarter ever for starbucks, and chairman and Ceo Howard Schultz will join us. We will break down the numbers and see what is brewing for the future. And amazons negative surprise as they have a quarterly loss loss hit by big spending at the company. And plus, we are an hour away for the arraignment of Steven Cohens sac capital and we will take you live to the courthouse when that happens. First up, starbucks up sharply, and the coffee chain says it earned 55 cents a share in the fiscal third. And same sales remained the same as the expanded menu offerings drove traffic and rose the year guidance and we will have an exclusive interview with the starbucks Ceo Howard Schultz, and jim, the metric of the day, 9 comps in the u. S. People it is hard to get your head ....

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COM The Daily Show With Jon Stewart July 31, 2013

But we start tonight with justice. Now earlier this summer we heard a lot about the Supreme Court which likedded gay marriage but not southern minorities ability to vote for it. But there are other much less Supreme Courts. Did you know that you are sitting in one right now . Thats right. Its time for tonights installment of judge johnny. Bail live, shoot that man. You are about to enter the courtroom of judge johnny oliver. Melissa, please pass your knives and go. Hes not legally trained. His understanding of the judicial system is based entirely on reruns of night court. All right, boys, hit the showers. His decisions are generally bad. This is judge johnny. [ cheers and applause ] court is in session. Jason jones, please call tonights first defendant. Judge johnny, the people call the halliburton corporation. You may know them as dick cheneys former company that was awarded ....

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COM The Daily Show With Jon Stewart July 31, 2013

Benson and rob lube bell. Also check out Anthony Jeselnik offensive. Com. We will see you next week, but before i go back, lets look back at the best moments from tonights show. The honeymooners. I cant believe i married such a cheapskate. I took you out last night. But that was to the emergency room. [applause] all right, all right, all right. Thats enough. Thats enough. He is dead. [applause] good night, kids go read a book. [music] from comedy centrals world news headquarters in new york, this is the daily show with jon stewart. [ cheers and applause ] john welcome to the daily show. My name is john oliver. Im still sitting in for jon stewart. He is waiting at home for time warner to come fix his cable. They said theyd be there between noon and 2 00 on june 10. Frankly hes still waiting there. Our guest tonight from project runway, mr. Tim gunn is with us. [ cheers and applause ] a glorious human being. But we start tonight w ....

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COM The Daily Show With Jon Stewart August 1, 2013

The price of four Toyota Avalons and half a semester at n. Y. U. . Actually, you know what . You know what . Hold on. Maybe this is good news. Let me just do the math here. 200 million gal ons spilled. That comes out of one tenth of a cent per gallon so we did it. We brought down oil prices. Here is the amazing thing. That punishment was so light, even halliburton was uncomfortable with it. Halliburton made a voluntary contribution of 55 million to the National Fish and Wildlife Foundation that was not conditioned on the courts acceptance of its plea agreement. John money that presumably went toward all those fish widows finally giving their husbands the funerals they deserve. Thats right. Fish conduct funerals like flushing their loved ones down a solid gold toilet. Theyre only going to forget them seven seconds lat ....

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