Shift. Like we Work Together at the cheesecake factory. But hey, im happy to be working at all. Everything is strange right now. We started this year thinking the election was going to be the craziest thing to happen in 2020. Now batman has the damn coronavirus the whole Entertainment Industry is upside down right now. Movies are being delayed. Theaters are mostly closed. But some people are still going to them. Tom cruise went to a Movie Theater in london, but thats different. Because he does all his own stunts. [ cough ] they wouldnt let me drive a cab in die hard with a vengeance. You think theyre letting that little bitch jump out of a plane . Hey wheres guillermo . Guillermo im right here when was the last time you went to a Movie Theater and saw a movie . Whatd you see . Guillermo i saw sonic. Oh, the hedge hog. Is that about the coked up little gopher running around, or was that don jr. . Guillermo that was the hedge hog. Do you have a Favorite Movie of mine . Guillermo snakes o
Im italian, or im an italianamerican and many of my fellow italianamericans get defensive about Christopher Columbus. Im not sure why. First of all, he was working for spain. He wasnt yvoneven working for italy. Second, never even got to north america. He was never here. Did you know that . The closest he got was the bahamas. He died thinking he went to india and found a trade route to china. He did neither one of those things. This was a guy with three boats and a bad sense of direction. [ laughter ] columbus is basically the 1492 version of the people who write first in the youtube comments section. [ laughter ] but for some reason italians think its an insult to you are our ancestry to say no to columbus. Columbus missed india by 9,000 miles and still decided to call everyone he met indians anyway. [ laughter ] you know, Leonardo Da Vinci invented the helicopter in 1493. He drew a helicopter. Why dont we celebrate him . There are 100 maybe 500 more deserving italians we could be cel
My plan is to move to newfoundland to become mayor of a small but fascinating town. The people of have a new neighbor. One of the oldest motorcycle clubs in the country. And the Small Community making a big statement about plastic bags. These stories plus dildos ready for jimmy kimmel if jimmy kimmel is ready for dildo. Yes, he is. Hes never been more ready for dildo. Right, guillermo . Oh, right, guillermos not here because guillermo is in dildo. Hes leading my advance team. And word on the street in dildo is theres a lot of excitement for his visit. Any sign of guillermo yet . Well, caroline, not yet. Were still waiting around to see. But everyones eyes are peeled for guillermo and thats what everyones talking about too. Theyre wondering where he is, when hes going to arrive. Jimmy thats pretty much what we wonder every day here at work. [ laughter ] its like a tropical storm. Anyway, minutes from now we will check in with guillermo, who is in dil we want to hear all about his first
Because mostly i just keep doing this. But over the last couple weeks my future and maybe even my destiny has become more clear. My plan is to move to newfoundland to become mayor of a small but fascinating town. The people of have a new neighbor. One of the oldest motorcycle clubs in the country. And the Small Community making a big statement about plastic bags. These stories plus dildos ready for jimmy kimmel if jimmy is ready for dildo. Yes, he is. Hes never been more ready for dildo. Right, guillermo . Oh, right, guillermos not here because guillermo is in dildo. Hes leading my advance team. And word on the street in dildo is theres a lot of excitement for his visit. Any sign of guillermo yet . Well, caroline, not yet. Were still waiting around to see. But everyones eyes are peeled for guillermo and thats what everyones talking about too. Theyre wondering where he is, when hes going to arrive. Jimmy thats pretty much what we wonder every day here at work. [ laughter ] its like a tr
And now, here he is, jimmy fallon [ cheers and applause jimmy thank you very much. Hello, everybody hey. [ cheers and applause welcome, welcome, welcome, welcome, welcome what a show we have tonight. Madonna is in the house tonight [ cheers and applause welcome. Have a seat. Relax. Guys, tomorrow is the official start of summer. [ cheers and applause excited. Im excited. Im very excited, but my legs are still so pale. Steve really [ light laughter ] jimmy they are so white, i mean, ive nicknamed them utah and npr. I mean [ laughter ] my legs are so white they could have their own show on fox news steve really jimmy yeah, absolutely [ laughter ] lets get to lets get to some news here the big story right now is iran yeah, apparently this morning iran shot down a u. S. Drone. When they told the president he was like, oh, my god. They got mike pence . They go, no, no [ laughter ] that drone that drone is fine that drone is fine no. Thats right iran shot down an unmanned drone. They said th