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Hovis Friday diary: remember, karma comes in many forms

Horse & Hound Trending: Credit: Karen Thompson Dear diary, It’s day 250 billion of the human strangles epidemic, and while there continues to be light at the end of the tunnel, for many of us that light has turned out to be the headtorch worn by our scissor wielding psychopathic stylists, seconds before our manes were massacred. After sharing my horrid hairdressing horror at the hands of Emily Scissorhands last week, I have seen and been sent so many examples of bouffant butchery that I am seriously considering starting a social media campaign to remind people that mane mutilation is a crime. Lockdown or no lockdown, there’s no excuse for operating under the delusion that you’re Nicky Clarke and taking out your sick fantasy on us poor equines because anyone else in your house runs if you so much as glance at any cutting implement. Just remember, this will be over one day and you’re going to be wanting to go out competing and the like you might be getting hu

Hovis Friday diary: my street cred was last seen running down the road

Horse & Hound Trending: Credit: Karen Thompson Dear diary, It’s day 198 billion of the human strangles epidemic and while there is much hope on the horizon due to them stabbing needles into people with the speed, efficiency and malicious enjoyment usually only seen in Herman when he’s using me as a Hovine pin cushion and charging mother for the privilege, the days for those of us with box resting humans are becoming something of an endurance. It would appear that half the problem is humans not understanding the concept of box rest particularly well and thus wandering about like a bunch of feral Welsh mountain ponies, unfettered and sharing bodily fluids with the sort of gay abandonment which results in some dubious genealogy.

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