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Hovis Friday diary: I am the most handsome gelding in the world

Dear diary, So, the countdown is firmly on now to Your Horse is Alive. I know this because a) I am highly intelligent and can read a calendar and b) because mother is running about like a blue-footed booby in mating season. Last week, as I told you, I had Evil Army Man come and […]

Hovis Friday diary: it s nearly time to pull off feral to fabulous again

Dear Diary Apologies for the radio silence last week, but mini-mother and the mothership herself were in Duh bye; I know many people question the contribution mother really makes to the brilliance that is my weekly musing and thus why her being away would change anything, but the reality is it’s much better when she […]

Hovis Friday diary: when it comes to skills, mother is the children s safety scissors equivalent of riding

Dear diary, Sadly, as I type, the war rages in Ukraine with little to no sign of it stopping any time soon and so across social media and the world efforts still remain to raise funds to help. The incredible team, including stand-in Cool New Shoes Man, Ben Smith, that took nine horse lorries laden […]

Hovis Friday diary: Think about it, selector peoples, please think about it

Horse & Hound Trending: Credit: Karen Thompson Dear diary, So, although the human strangles epidemic continues, the humans have been freed from box rest, unhobbled from the sides of roads and have dropped their grazing muzzles faster than knickers on a nudist beach, as they rejoice in their new-found freedom. For many, they had their first taste of nightlife in nearly 18 months, partying into the wee small hours like blue smartie-infused bats before realising the next day that they are, in fact, far too old for that sort of thing and going swiftly back to a night in front of the TV in their lounge wear (which is a LOT more forgiving than hot pants and a glow stick…).

Hovis Friday diary: a very concerning prospect

Horse & Hound Trending: Credit: Karen Thompson Dear diary, It’s day 343 billion of the human strangles epidemic and hope of the humans being allowed back into work anytime before bunny bonking season is fading faster than mother’s New Years diet. I so fear that their box rest is having lasting impacts on their mental states, which in turn is signalling yet more misery for us as we have to be on the receiving end of horrific hairdos, creative clipping, “lockdown challenges” issued by professional riders but carried out by those who shouldn’t ride the dodgems without a safety harness, and this week’s stressage top tips from Karen on Facebook who subscribes to “pole club” and thus is qualified to issue both training ideas and critique Charlotte-what’s-her-face-in-a-garden’s leg position.

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