Horse & Hound
Trending: Credit: Karen Thompson
Dear diary,
So, although the human strangles epidemic continues, the humans have been freed from box rest, unhobbled from the sides of roads and have dropped their grazing muzzles faster than knickers on a nudist beach, as they rejoice in their new-found freedom. For many, they had their first taste of nightlife in nearly 18 months, partying into the wee small hours like blue smartie-infused bats before realising the next day that they are, in fact, far too old for that sort of thing and going swiftly back to a night in front of the TV in their lounge wear (which is a LOT more forgiving than hot pants and a glow stick…).
Horse & Hound
Trending: Credit: Karen Thompson
Dear diary,
It’s day 343 billion of the human strangles epidemic and hope of the humans being allowed back into work anytime before bunny bonking season is fading faster than mother’s New Years diet. I so fear that their box rest is having lasting impacts on their mental states, which in turn is signalling yet more misery for us as we have to be on the receiving end of horrific hairdos, creative clipping, “lockdown challenges” issued by professional riders but carried out by those who shouldn’t ride the dodgems without a safety harness, and this week’s stressage top tips from Karen on Facebook who subscribes to “pole club” and thus is qualified to issue both training ideas and critique Charlotte-what’s-her-face-in-a-garden’s leg position.
Horse & Hound
Trending: Credit: Karen Thompson
Dear diary,
It’s day 250 billion of the human strangles epidemic, and while there continues to be light at the end of the tunnel, for many of us that light has turned out to be the headtorch worn by our scissor wielding psychopathic stylists, seconds before our manes were massacred.
After sharing my horrid hairdressing horror at the hands of Emily Scissorhands last week, I have seen and been sent so many examples of bouffant butchery that I am seriously considering starting a social media campaign to remind people that mane mutilation is a crime. Lockdown or no lockdown, there’s no excuse for operating under the delusion that you’re Nicky Clarke and taking out your sick fantasy on us poor equines because anyone else in your house runs if you so much as glance at any cutting implement. Just remember, this will be over one day and you’re going to be wanting to go out competing and the like you might be getting hu