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[cheers and applause] here is a recent political ad from the state of alabama. I know, the alabama thing makes it already semiracist, but lets withhold judgment. Im tim james. Why do our politicians make us give drivers license exams in 12 languages . This is alabama, we speak english. If you wanna live here, learn it. Were only giving that test in english if im governor. [audience ohs] is it racist . Uh, yeah. Thats really, really racist this is alabama, we speak english. If you consider hey diddy, theres a june bug on your corn pone english, then i guess so. But at least theyre not being racist towards black people for once. So way to go, alabama. Baby steps. Tell tim james what you think by tweeting him at timjames2010. [chuckles] thats gonna work out. See you next week. Yall come back now, you hear . [cheers and applause] captioning by captionmax www. Captionmax. Com from Comedy Centrals world news headquarters in new york, th ....
That is a real picture. I suppose its only fair that i level with all of you. I have been lying about where jon stewarts been all summer. In fact, ive lied to you exactly 31 times it seemed appropriate to confess tonight because this is my last show at interim host. Stop hiding your joy. Jon stewart will be back in september. Were all looking forward to seeing him so much. Before we go into our top story tonight we just wanted to take a moment to acknowledge the horrifying events unfolding right now in egypt. Our deepest thoughts are with everyone over there for more on that developing story, you should probably watch the real news. Thats kind of what theyre built for. In the meantime were going to push ahead with our final silly show of the summer, our guest tonight writer and of the silly show simon peg will be with us. Frankly, simon has a lot to live up to tonight guest wisement i dont know if he saw last nights show but regis phil pynn ended the interview in a slightly unexpected ....
Last show at interim host. Stop hiding your joy. Jon stewart will be back in september. Were all looking forward to seeing him so much. Before we go into our top story tonight we just wanted to take a moment to acknowledge the horrifying events unfolding right now in egypt. Our deepest thoughts are with everyone over there for more on that developing story, you should probably watch the real news. Thats kind of what theyre built for. In the meantime were going to push ahead with our final silly show of the summer, our guest tonight writer and of the silly show simon peg will be with us. Frankly, simon has a lot to live up to tonight guest wisement i dont know if he saw last nights show but regis phil pynn ended the interview in a slightly unexpected manner. Looks like we made it he kissed me on the head. And you know what, i woke up this morning and hi a gray patch of hair in the exact shape of regiss lips. And i realized he just sapd my youth. Thats how he still looks so incredible. H ....
San diego mayor, as well ass had his role opposite Michael Keaton in 1989s batman. Now that might seen like a cruel joke about someones appearance. In my defense, [bleep] this guy. applause thats my defense. Over a dozen female employees have accused fillner of unwanted sexual advancement but now it seems his missives may not have stopped there. Investigators are looking into the possibility of improve charges on his city credit card. Working into a junket philner took a that appears to have little to do to san diego and cost taxpayers 30,000. 3,000 to an Online Reputation Management firm. And oddly, 128 dollars for a juicer. Wait, wait, wait. The jooutser juicer is the thing you find odd there . Not the 3,000 on Reputation Management . Because that is something the city clearly does deserve a refun ....