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dead or alive, i will be hitting the road this summer for the june gloom tour. yeah, that s going to be awesome. oh, i don t know where you live, but i will probably be there. with me, special guest jerrod charmichael. i am pretty sure that is bill bellamy. i ll get an up-to-date headshot of jerrod next week. presale starts tomorrow! as a lot of you know, i recently upgraded to one of those unlimited texting plans. and to celebrate, i created a new segment called textual harassment. here s how it works: i took a sexually revealing photo of myself with the message plus you makes three. i was planning to send it to a bunch of random phone numbers to see what kind of responses i would get. solid bits what you re thinking, right? wrong! immediate backfire. here s the first reply i got. hey asshole, you sent this to my 9-year-old daughter. ooh. naturally, i replied sorry. because i know when a line has been crossed. but then he said [bleep] off! so, i wrote b ....
[cheers and applause] here is a recent political ad from the state of alabama. i know, the alabama thing makes it already semi-racist, but let s withhold judgment. - i m tim james. why do our politicians make us give driver s license exams in 12 languages? this is alabama, we speak english. if you wanna live here, learn it. we re only giving that test in english if i m governor. [audience ohs] - is it racist? uh, yeah. that s really, really racist! this is alabama, we speak english. if you consider hey diddy, there s a june bug on your corn pone english, then i guess so. but at least they re not being racist towards black people for once. so way to go, alabama. baby steps. tell tim james what you think by tweeting him at timjames2010. [chuckles] that s gonna work out. see you next week. y all come back now, you hear? [cheers and applause] captioning by captionmax www.captionmax.com from comedy central s world news headquarters in new york, this is the daily show wit ....
hey, everybody. i m beth troutman, and we ve been looking for great videos so you don t have to, and we ve got them for you, right here, right this minute. it s a parking lot showdown as two drivers select their muzzles. a truck muzzle here. why this contest ended with a visit from the cops. always [ bleep ] blvrm the connecticut shootings left america with a broken heart. and wondering how to cope. now, meet the songwriter sending a message to sandy hook to let you know, we care it s rare video of fish doing one of their favorite things. and this is how they do it. we ve got the story behind the fish tornado. and, when dad drills his 2-year-old as kissing boys, she questions sort of. i hug them. and what else? [ mumbling ] as you know, it s long been a fact that dudes like to, you know, flex their muscles. we got an example of just that outside a walmart in north carolina. when i say flexes muscles, we re talking, trucks. chevy, ....
here is a recent political ad from the state of alabama. i know, the alabama thing makes it already semi-racist, but let s withhold judgment. - i m tim james. why do our politicians make us give driver s license exams in 12 languages? this is alabama, we speak english. if you wanna live here, learn it. we re only giving that test in english if i m governor. [audience ohs] - is it racist? uh, yeah. that s really, really racist! this is alabama, we speak english. if you consider hey diddy, there s a june bug on your corn pone english, then i guess so. but at least they re not being racist towards black people for once. so way to go, alabama. baby steps. tell tim james what you think by tweeting him at timjames2010. [chuckles] that s gonna work out. see you next week. y all come back now, you hear? [cheers and applause] captioning by captionmax www.captionmax.com [eagle caw] stephen: tonight, big changes for texas. their 10-gallon hats are now 38-liters. [laughter] t ....