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Patient with us as we have tried to figure it out this is an emotional milestone, but if it looks like im tearing up, i assure you, its just so hot in this attic that my eyeballs are sweating. Back in march our executive producer Mike Shoemaker said, you should get air conditioners now for when it gets hot in june. And i said, june . Im not going to still be here in june, because i am the shortterm thinking grasshopper and shoemaker is the longterm planning ant and if you want to make it to 1,000 shows, i promise you the ant has more to do with it than the grasshopper. Im so lucky to have Mike Shoemaker i also want to give a shout out to our head writer alex baze he is americas greatest living joke writer and the first person i asked to join me on this journey. Without baze, none of this none of this would be happening. Thanks as well to our crew and writing staff, who i miss ....
[ laughter and applause [ laughter ] clickety, clackety, like little [ laughter ] have you never met a dog before . [ indiscernible seth she does. Yeah, i know. Man, dogs are for petting, seth to be fair, she does clickety clack a lot thats a fair hit. Multiple districts in iowa had booties are for shaking. Yeah. [ light laughter ] frisbee is like kramer, where to settle ties at last nights were like he cant enter the caucus by coin flip. Then, a zoo in england recently room without like sliding around discovered that their big cats [ laughter ] people still use those things . Are more active in their said Michael Bloomberg [ laughter and applause seth shes always like burst environment if you spray in with her new invention. Calvin kleins obsession for men. Then go [ indiscernible [ laughter ] former new york mayor Mike Bloomberg today announced and i was like, what seth ....
And walked off stage [ laughter ] despite President Trump claiming that athletes and protesters have disrespected the national anthem, video surfaced from trumps Super Bowl Party showing him fidgeting, pointing and pretending to conduct an orchestra during the song. Take a look. And the rockets red glare the bombs bursting in air [ laughter ] seth oh my god, youre the leader of the free world and you look like a 5yearold kid an hour into a catholic mass [ laughter ] do you have to [ applause ] i mean, seriously, do you have to pee or something . Well, you should have thought of that before you went insane. [ laughter ] the New Hampshire primary is now a week away, which means were only a few short months from finding out who won iowa [ laughter and applause multiple districts in iowa had to settle ties at last nights c ....
[ laughter ] despite president trump claiming that athletes and protesters have disrespected the national anthem, video surfaced from trump s super bowl party showing him fidgeting, pointing and pretending to conduct an orchestra during the song. take a look. and the rockets red glare the bombs bursting in air [ laughter ] seth: oh my god, you re the leader of the free world and you look like a 5-year-old kid an hour into a catholic mass [ laughter ] do you have to - [ applause ] i mean, seriously, do you have to pee or something? well, you should have thought of that before you went insane. [ laughter ] the new hampshire primary is now a week away, which means we re only a few short months from finding out who won iowa [ laughter and applause multiple districts in iowa had to settle ties at last night s caucus by coin flip. people still use those things? said michael bloomberg [ laughter and applause former new york mayor mike bloomberg today announced he is do ....
Of americans approve of the job President Trump is doing as he approaches his 100th day in office. While the other 56 said its only been 100 days . [ laughter and applause ] that means ugh ugh [ light laughter ] according to a new report, german chancellor Angela Merkel was recently forced forced to explain to President Trump 11 times how trade works with european countries. She started to lose it around nine. [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] customs officers at jfk airport recently arrested two passengers who tried to smuggle ten kilos of cocaine into the country by taping it to their legs. And they might have gotten away with it, if they hadnt worn shorts. [ laughter and applause ] no, man. No man, theyll be expecting pants. We wear shorts, trust me. Thats the way to go. [ light laughter ] yesterday was melania tr ....