>> ♪ ♪ [ cheers and applause ] watch it don't hurt yourselves with all the clapping. happy wednesday. hunter biden is now a convicted felon. family members say he's upbeat and already looking forward to the cavity search. democrat donors have events in swing states offering free beer and emergency birth-control trying to establish his lead over drunken. [ bleeps ] the governing body world aquatics upheld been on transgender women who've been through male puberty from competing in races meaning elliot thomas won't be in the olympics she responded saying fine i'll take my balls and go home. will be goldberg said they should have a law to stop men from masturbating those men watching the view said they've done enough eating vegans up paper from the harvard says extraterrestrials could be living among us they aren't in disguise. seth meyers won't have a band next season keeping with the theme they live a bucket of diarrhea honolulu police want their valuables brought with him him rather than remaining on the beach luckily larry koda lowe's belongings can float. joey chestnut guided after being banned from the schnider's hot dog contest is mentoring a hero to take his place. finally and new york woman quit her job to be 6 to a worker the problem her bosses are always up her ass. on a low note. if trump wins in november your tips will no longer be taxed if you work in the service industry a donald if you want me to start stripping again all you have to do is ask. this might seem like a small thing to you but for millions it's not it something larger about trump and his campaign. trump talks about what americans experience in the real world not hypothetical fantasy where democracy is always under attack by trump and racists hide under iraq the planet will implode in 10 years and this is considered female. that's what separates democrats and republicans these days they live in the fantasy of luxury beliefs taking priority over real-world concerns. well trump finds ways to grow a paycheck they put policies rooted in a 1 world utopia where we eat bugs and drive cars powered by that with free falafel if you can't afford food in the oven they have a solution take away the oven. well trump says terrorists will come for the border comes through in months because his predictions come from reality making in the paradox he's a billionaire who talks about cost americans understand like fuel food baby formula and diapers you think joe biden is worried about the cost of diapers with joe it some more of a comfort issue but trump is made the republican party into the party for the worker the democrat party made of further woke a sanctuary for protective elites whose closest experienced a crime is when somebody writes wash me on their helicopter. look at how the candidates talk on the campaign trail. biden says electing trumbull be the end of democracy apparently he hasn't noticed a trump 1 and 2016 democracy is still with us nearly now biden never explained what the end of democracy would look like because he can't not just because this train of thought the rails like a freighter in east palestine ohio it's because everything he predicts i like his sentences they never end well unlike his pants his predictions are backwards until somebody asked to fix them while trump talks about real things like crime inflation immigration deporting millions of illegals taking advantage a government to stupid and incompetent to secure its own border if you're a terrorist friend to g kazahkstan trumbull and your democracy quicker than you can say that coat has a nice ass. the biting campaign is also committed to spending trillions battling so-called climate change based on predictions which have a 0 batting average and coming true and yet they want to take away your modern conveniences while they keep there's trump talks about lowering gas prices by drilling. trump would drill in florida if there was oil down there and that's the point because common people would benefit from see the difference and now trump wants to remove attacks on tips while biden wants to cancel college debt when rewards hard workers and their families the other steals from them to pay off left-wing freeloaders so the electorate seas trump taking their side and succeed biden taking the side of who exactly that's the mystery what's no mystery is why trump is winning which is why never trumpeters traffic in the imaginary what if trump is elected it's world war iii the end of democracy the biting campaign is based on what if's but trump is based on what is not everyone can see it or they refuse to see it the opportunity cost of their anti- trump -ism is too much for them to abandon take paul ryan erie is on the what-ifs but not the what is. >> i do think it's an important issue if you put yourself above the constitution as he is done. >> i think it really is his character at the end of the day if you put yourself above the constitution the oaf you swear when you take federal office once weather the president or member of congress. 's talk about the constitution being undermined which it wasn't he's talking about character prattle on about character some waitress may go home with more money but no thanks to your personal takes on character that's a luxury belief it's no wonder trump is open every battleground state and we could be looking at a landslide the only crates the democratic agenda works as an joe biden's mind where there's plenty of room. let's welcome tonight's guests. they say good-looking people can't be funny and he is here to prove them right. comedian jeff dye. she can spend the news like a centrifuge. republican strategist. and bathroom graffiti says for a good time don't call kat timpf. and you can see his colonoscopy on imax selling author, comedian and former nwa world heavyweight champion tyrus. >> did you know still difference between the parties 1 is noise about the what-ifs will trump just talks about the what is. >> people keep talking about his character we like people with bad character we love nicki minaj terrible character. we love a lot of people with bad character. trump cares about things that matter like heavy showing people the tips he doesn't think they should be taxed on tips me and trump have that in common we both love big old tips waitresses with big tips we love tips show us your tips waitresses. something we have in common. >> way to take this show into the gutter that's my job. >> yeah, we're talking about big old tips what's the problem. >> if you like the democrats are paying the price for years of luxury beliefs when times are fine you can chase of these stupid ideas and policies that when you have 19% inflation. >> for joe biden he knows he can't pass the policies so he's just unilaterally doing it he needs the voter block needs young voters student loans we take care that he needs donors that exist in the green energy community is taking care that what you know 1 of his advisors is george clooney is not attached to realities calling the white house yelling about the fact they were slated about something is just not what american people are facing because of democrat stand there and acknowledge the failures of policies they're going to lose catastrophically instead they keep trying to find little pockets to drop things and win votes that way. >> sean: i wonder what i would do if clooney called me. >> put it on speakerphone. >> i would, yeah,. all right i think we are avoiding the biggest what if what if joe biden dies before the election that's the what if that could happen. >> what's your problem i'm living in reality have you seen him lately? >> i hope not. i think. >> cuhm à la terrorists people. >> i thought he died already did you not see him lately like weekend at bernie's part 7. >> it's sad to watch. >> what he make about their policies or rather lack of policies in the campaign. >> i like when people say they will stop doing some things that's not often like let you keep your tips your money which also was a regular waitresses note the tips to do it another way as you could say. >> we just been talking about tips what's going on here. >> it's dehumanizing though to wait a table and have to smile at people who are mean to you although i did get the most tips the days i was crying right i have a boyfriend broke up with me before my shift they went home with so much cash. >> anytime city up with you that week? >> i can't fake a motion but i also can't control it either. >> sean: a great tip for the waitresses who can. >> you think smiling gets you tips wait until you cry i'm serious i was like sobbing snotty this is my boyfriend of leak from prior years to be fair he broke up with me by text messages hours before the shift and we're friends so i can share this whatever i went to go to meet up with him person he set up in the car and broke up with me more than they drove to the shift i was sobbing and people like what was wrong i was happy to talk some bone because i do now friends at that time so that so you make more tips make yourself cry and demand. >> i would over tip to make her stop talking so she's not bubble crying over my onion soup i'm going to make sure like here you know what you fill out the check i'll sign it. >> what you think about trump understanding priorities more than democrats due. >> at 1 time he was the guy who is firing you he went 8 years of them going adam i'm william trying to break him who is he talking to is signed to the regular guys like us doing rallies going around the country meeting people hearing their problem's and seeing stuff and he started to listen unfortunately they were running against i guy who went down an escalator and 16 now the guy who had half of the country going out of their way to find something wrong with them to get them out of their which least him going to the ground with us now we seeing you want to keep your tips let's do that you want this and that you want to make sure we are self-reliant so you have a job let's do that because he is in touch with america. other guys live in fantasyland in the other thing is the whole team for biden needs to redirect everything they need to go after old people because when he stops and does the squat grabs his pants and old personal understand that. a young person will laugh there's nothing you can tell a 22-year-old to vote for you when they are like broke did he just drop adduce oh, my god. and here's a fun fact you know what the most looked up thing is right now on porn hub in that stuff people taking dumps on other people who do we have to thank for that our president. >> i learned so much year. >> we will move on up next here's to getting better with age. here's to beating these two every thursday. help fuel today with boost high protein, complete nutrition you need... ...without the stuff you don't. so, here's to now. boost. choose advil liqui-gels for faster, stronger and longer-lasting relief than tylenol rapid release gels because advil targets pain at the source of inflammation. so for faster pain relief, advil the pain away. ♪ ♪ citi's industry leading global payments solutions help their clients move money around the world seamlessly in over 180 countries... and help a partner like the world food programme as they provide more than food to people in need. together, citi and the world food programme empower families across the globe. ♪ if you have chronic kidney disease you can reduce the risk of kidney failure with farxiga. because there are places you'd like to be. farxiga can cause serious side effects, including ketoacidosis that may be fatal, dehydration, urinary tract, or genital yeast infections, and low blood sugar. a rare, life-threatening bacterial infection in the skin of the perineum could occur. stop taking farxiga and call your doctor right away if you have symptoms of this infection, an allergic reaction, or ketoacidosis. ♪ far-xi-ga ♪ >> it's time to play what is he's saying. [ cheers and applause ] >> sean: welcome to what is he is saying a fun new game where we try to make sense of biden's gibberish i will play a short clip from an event in each guest has to guess what the heck he just said role. >> they will ghosts in new garments try to take us back taking away your freedoms making a harder for black people to vote closing doors of opportunity tech in the values of diversity equity in conclusion conclusion banning books about black experiences trained to erase and rewrite history. >> i would go to you first. i get the just but what just happened there. >> i heard summing regarding ghosts and garments and possibly taking us back so i think he is still the hallucinating and public i don't know what else will be happening involving ghosts and garments. >> jeff did you notice something like as mouth left his body. >> he has trouble with words for sure i believe he was saying that goats are somehow black people they are taking it back for equity and diversity did i win? i had no idea let's play it 1 more time and then we will go to discussion. >> they are all ghosts in new garments trying to take us back taking away your freedoms making harder for black people to vote closing doors of opportunity tech in the values of diversity equity and inclusion banning books about black experience trying to erase and rewrite history. >> he's talking about me okay that was the most racist. [ bleeps ] of ever heard in my life he called as a ghosts saying they're taking away opportunities saying we need to go back on the boat are you guys not hearing the. [ bleeps ] i'm hearing. >> we steal books we don't know what computers are most ridiculous it's horrible. >> sean: i'm assuming is talking about republicans good chance 97% of the audiences black is a good time for them to tell it how it is and apparently we are still iran's opportunities and we need to go back on the boat he just told america the ghost of the blacks. kat you've heard it twice now guessing he says republicans have a lot of new clothes and don't like black people. >> black people stole the governments close they have the garments i think it's will white like white people who have new clothes. >> happened to you you've been ghosted a few times. >> here's the question we have a come to jesus moment where the guy cannot run for president when is he dropping out he has to drop out. >> i don't think he will. >> but also he's wanted to be president since the 1980s the only way joe biden leaves as if he loses or passes away is going to be on the ballot in november ballot access will be a huge issue all the complications but even if he has a weird mouth which is or the guy clearly has struggle speaking he will be the democratic nominee. >> i just don't see that. he's coded clever you have to watch me sneaky gibberish gibberish black don't touch them gibberish gibberish they need to get out of here about jesus. >> sean: my erie is he is on mafia don tending to be elbow behind the scenes he's smart president trump should have been like what day is it. >> sean: all right, let me ask you this. have we come to the conclusion we don't need a president when an invalid is in charge clearly some but he also is in charge. >> for made the deciding moment was that will cancer when i got out there was like a cancer from low for my mom's windshield and the next day we pretended nothing where the president says i have cancer and we are like okay is pristinely just like always been affected by cancer he didn't say that after a saw the and evelyn moved on going about their daily couldn't happen he can do that 9 million times over and when will move on like it didn't happen. >> everyone is kind of okay with him being the nominee is a chance he could win but i swear to god if he was of the airline pilot and you are boarding that plane you would get the. [ bleeps ] off. you would wear these people okay with this. >> i wouldn't want to be my cashier at mcdonald's. >> i wouldn't have them be a walmart greeter. >> it's true like put them in perspective you wouldn't let him walk your dog. >> did i win, did tyrus winner who won semi guessing tyrus wins because he's black. >> the present is kicking me out when is my boat coming. >> sean: has ows and pick taken the fun out of eating a ton? if you have wet amd, you never want to lose sight of the things you love. some things should stand the test of time. long lasting eylea hd could significantly improve your vision and can help you go up to 4 months between treatments. if you have an eye infection, eye pain or redness, or allergies to eylea hd, don't use. eye injections like eyla hd may cause eye infection, separation of the retina, or rare but severe swelling of blood vessels in the eye. an increase in eye pressure has been seen. there's an uncommon risk of heart attack or stroke associated with blood clots. the most common side effects were blurred vision, cataract, corneal injury, and eye floaters. and there's still so much to see. if you are on eylea or a similar type of treatment, ask your retina specialist about eylea hd today, for the potential for fewer injections. >> a story in 5 words. >> 30% going on nose and pick. i know it's ridiculous going to you first but we will do it anyway. cardiovascular medicine professor believes a decade as much as a 30% of the population could be on nose and pick i feel like it's already 30% i work in the entertainment world where they are pumping that into everybody's ass. >> i think it's an arm. >> i just like ca -- saying ass what's funny is apparently it wasn't fat shaming because everybody wants to get out my big fat beautiful life is a big fat. [ bleeps ] light because everyone wants to not be fat and here's an easy way to do it so it wasn't the fact this is who i am respect to a i just don't want to exercise you give me a shot owe absolutely. >> you know what i guess how do you get off of those and pick. >> i'm gonna go the opposite direction and get super fat. >> go to lock. >> i'm in my eating era i had tubal sandwiches for lunch yesterday. >> yuan's new pete sampras from him see if either of you gets a pound. finally we have something new to write intros about for me. >> i will believe it when i see that i will start feeding you tomorrow at 9:00 am. >> i will run that your ubereats account. this being the magic pill this is actually a magic pill the problem is what you do with a magic pill you don't stop taking it and it turns people into noneaters. >> i can't imagine there be a day in my life right would just be like i'm not going to eat like i'm not going to have food i love food it's 1 of my favorite things eggrolls mac & cheese from a beacon of health for these people this works i would've thought the number is higher or would go higher this gets people healthy and losing weight have at it. >> not healthy. >> as opposed to what? >> in a fits i think it just means you lose weight. >> here's the thing everyone's using a zen pick i live in the los angeles and iran wants if you're over 18 do whatever you want with your body we need is for the loose skin can we get the pill pharaoh the loose skin all of those and by causing it's like i lost the weight just draped over it so much skin you want to get rich come up with something for the gross skin. >> sean: i thank you can donate it. >> stop. we can't fix that. then we can salvage of this the olympic side effect is it makes people fertile so people go home cheat comeaux with skinnier babies. >> i read that i thought it was because your skinnier and you're more attractive and you just start getting laid. >> when you shoot out an extra 8 eggs that there is a problem it's causing the production of your eggs in your fallopian tubes so set of having 2 yes 16's people are out cheating so they come to their chubby has been with inch a baby. >> sean: i think it's a mistake to do health segments on the show what you think? >> after, graciously offered to a gain 90 pounds and you just sit away to mckay offered. >> alford again hundred 20 pounds. >> i don't believe they make she was willing to gain 200 pounds for you and you book ruined it. >> i will gain 275 pounds tomorrow. >> you look like this with the chipotle belly. by the way food industry must be quaking because people are eating less. >> wouldn't that be good for the food industry as a restaurant could charge the same price but surplus food because you know people eat less food and that lowers cost for businesses. >> sean: i don't know i didn't think that part about it to be honest and i refuse to think. >> great wouldn't it be more because their bad habits aren't changing sligo day binge and it's like oh all have those and pick. >> you have to take it every day and you lose the desire for food that's what it is we have to move on really disgusting segment coming up now. spacing needs a place to crash because these all out of cash ♪ that colonoscopy for getting screened ♪ ♪ is why i'm delaying ♪ ♪ i heard i had a choice ♪ ♪ i know the name, that's what i'm saying ♪ -cologuard®? -cologuard. cologuard! -screen for colon cancer. -at home, like you want. -you the man! -actually, he's a box. cologuard is a one-of-a-kind way to screen for colon cancer that's effective and non-invasive. it's for people 45+ at average risk, not high risk. false positive and negative results may occur. ask your provider for cologuard. ♪ i did it my way ♪ hi, i'm david, and i lost 92 pounds on golo. my life partner connie and i were in really rough shape regarding our health. and our doctors told us that we needed to lose weight. i saw a golo commercial and i thought, "we really need to try this." as the weeks went by, the weight came off. we learned to make healthy choices and be supportive of each other. together, we've lost 170 pounds. golo worked for us. since losing weight on golo, i'm feeling grateful and hopeful about the future. 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>> i can't pay the bills they'll >> how much money do you have. >> none. >> really we. >> well you have some sense of legal bills very i still owe a lot of legal bills. >> mind me asking how much you owe? >> it's considerable many millions yes. >> what are you going to do? >> i guess get back on the horse. get back on the horse. >> does that mean his next film rolls with stormy daniels? >> i know i know. he also addressed rumors surrounding his connection to jeffrey epstein specifically is name showing up on flight logs to africa on a humanitarian mission with the clinton foundation in 2000 to watch. >> in 2015 we started seeing reports online things on my twitter account that i had flown to the island and abused young girls if you ask me into a 15 may be fiasco me 2002 dino jeffrey epstein i probably would've said no the airplane flew on for this humanitarian mission was owned by jeffrey epstein to learn he was on some of those flights. i'd don't know them i didn't spend time with him he is not my friend them not a confidant i've never spent time with him. >> humanitarian mission i guess you could call it that apparently they were delivering underprivileged teens shipments of bill clinton. tyrus it's kind of. >> it's beyond sad. everybody should be heard but then the next question as to be believe that's what the courts are for but we haven't figured it out in the country and when you are acquitted that should mean he should go on with his life he broke himself to defend themselves so and here's the deal when you go through this you will spend everything you can to fight to prove your innocent and i commend him for that because i didn't believe him when i heard it is like of course then as time goes on he gets acquitted he's not going back to his work they done with them because they eat their own. where's the lgbt community backing him up he was acquitted by his peers where's the support his acting career is over he's open himself up says the stuff in your heart goes out to them but you also have to say it's just acting maybe you won't have the mansion anymore but a lot of us who have gone through the process and prove your innocence your new life might be different you might never be in the limelight but use this to move on to something else you don't have to be on tv to be successful in this country you don't have to be an actor i believe he has a family be around them and find a new avenue might not be glorious but you avenue start on life might not be being in public move on. >> sean: i see, jeff? what about the epstein piece are you interested in that or the fact of that? >> more interested in piers morgan asking personal questions and how much money do you have and where do you live it's ridiculous where do you live buddy now much money do you have greg. >> it is true. how much do you have. also if he does go do a regular job it doesn't help with the millions of debt he's in you can't go pour concrete and make back millions of the dollars he's got that he's going toe i hope he does get another role and he can right the wrongs here and another actor. >> the butt of many jokes on this show what if we were all wrong? >> we were. >> bring him on will apologize. i know he watches the show you still my number kevin. >> sean: what do you think? >> i feel bad right he's been acquitted he lost his entire fortune defending himself and now he has to find a new career path his entire life exploded around him and to his credit while he's doing this you stepping back out there in the media being open and honest and i can tell you having worked with a lot of people in crisis and communications issues the honesty will move this forward for him because if he keeps lying he will get caught so being honest and vulnerable in the moment really humanized him and that's what probably could help him get back in hollywood good graces and get work again. >> sean: the question being a devil's advocate he is a great actor could that have been an act we never know because none of us know who he really is. >> as they had that video. way to catch on. and so it's gotta be about die getting a lot of people accused about this i test people asking about -- without asking them at what are your convicted of a crime doesn't mean you can't also be a jerk at the same time i don't know him obviously. it's interesting as he wasn't as tight and don't be so sure. >> i'm pretty sure. but also the epstein thing i do not know whose jet you are on. i've been on it's a long trip to africa. it's phrased strange if you ask me in these years if i knew the guy let's just say you don't know more you do know him. >> i have more questions. yes to come on the show you will do the panel. and you know where i live going home from there every night. up nex wealth-changing question -- are you keeping as much of your investment gains as possible? 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>> st star wars is now gay now. kevin spacey is looking for work. i think i figured out a solution >> is a gavin watched it. >> it's pretty gay also it doesn't surprise me disney is going woke like this because there is a scene in the new star wars where there is a fire in space and it makes total sense because all the people say a fire can't be in space and its it can't there's no oxygen and slick what are you an astronaut who says that it's a metaphor for the bull crap going on in the country. >> sean: i followed what he just said you kids watched star wars what you think? >> the cultural appropriation in the new star wars movies is frustrating blaming white people for all the problem's that's a black thing that's my thing. like got fell holding me back i can't complain anymore i turn on my tv and every bad guy and dumb guy on the shows is white it's not fair know when i complete about white people is like deeming the dumb slow guys and horrible bad guys on the tv shows like they don't know their audience. nobody knows the audience anymore they are so think they are so clever to have these different minorities and roles which is awesome but it doesn't need to be at the expense of white america it's always the evil guy in all of these episodes is a white guy or the dumb bumbling buffoon is the white guy. everybody looks at this like nobody wants to watch movies like that nobody. even black people don't want to do that and make fun of another race it's uncomfortable it supposed to be in a galaxy far far away you would think racism a big deal when you hang out with somebody who has tentacles for a face which is fine but a white guy comes into the room well whoa whoa. and it's why it's failed and the protection 8 years ago was right you keep this up you will die. she predicted it you're getting applause for that prediction. >> i like nobody knows anything about it but you're still clapping. >> they wanted your head. >> they had to get the police involved because of how i was threatened the good news is i didn't know this existed and so good for me. >> good for you. >> are you trying to get to watch this can be explained it this way you not think as star wars you didn't have brand recognition and an established fan base already so can't you just be good with that? >> sean: they are undoing the fan base they don't have to they would say we'd rather of tenant woke in light and fans than 1000 line kid chuckle bucket nerds. >> they are killing the brand to be honest saving any of them for the beginning until now but if they are changing to the primacy or. i was never the target audience and i'm not the revamped target audience they've awoke ideology pervasive here and they feel they need to show the most fidelity they had and how can they do it they do it as much as they can in the entertainment industry and that's why they lose viewers and money. >> only 3 to be clear. here's to getting better with age. here's to beating these two every thursday. help fuel today with boost high protein, complete nutrition you need... ...without the stuff you don't. so, here's to now. boost. somebody would ask her something and she would just walk right past them, she didn't know they were talking to her. i just could not hear. i was hesitant to get the hearing aids because of my short hair. but nobody even sees them. our nearly invisible hearing aids are just one reason we've been the brand leader for over 75 years. when i finally could hear for the first time, i could hear everything. call 1-800-234-7090 to schedule a free hearing evaluation and unlock our best deal of the year! ♪ ♪ ♪ chewy, a citi client, uses citi's financial expertise to help drive its growth and keep its supply chain moving, so more pet parents can get everything they need... right when they need it. keeping more pets, and families, happy. ♪ for the love of moving our clients forward. for the love of progress. if you have chronic kidney disease you can reduce the risk of kidney failure with farxiga. because there are places you'd like to be. farxiga can cause serious side effects, including ketoacidosis that may be fatal, dehydration, urinary tract, or genital yeast infections, and low blood sugar. a rare, life-threatening bacterial infection in the skin of the perineum could occur. stop taking farxiga and call your doctor right away if you have symptoms of this infection, an allergic reaction, or ketoacidosis. ♪ far-xi-ga ♪ >> greg: happy father's day to all you dads out there. see you tomorrow. ♪

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