monologues from the last month or two to share with you tonight. it wasn't easy narrowing it down, because much like anyone who watches the show, they are all winners to me. roll it, dolores. [scattered applause] >> greg: happy super-duper monday, america! what a glorious week and we shared. what did you do with that extra hour? well, pete hegseth is here tonight. there he is. gorgeous! [scattered applause] so patriotic. let's see what he did with that extra time. ♪ ♪ he is such a patriot that when he bangs his head, he sees stars and stripes, and when he poops it's red, white, and p.u. to the monologue. >> the biggest, most insane story -- political enemies! >> greg: got to shorten his titles. so it's 2021 and is monologue is on the steele dossier. like a birthmark, the story never ever goes away. it is that my fault? no. i would much prefer to do something on joe biden breaking wind at the climate summit. [scattered laughter] that breeze was so hot greta fienberg asked him to stand in front of a windmill. but look, that was the only honest thing to come out of joe since he became president. too easy! too easy, don't applaud! we don't have enough time for the applause. but that's why that story was my first choice, but now unfortunately it's number two. [scattered laughter] i'm not beneath anything. >> no. >> greg: now the legacy media is muscle smuggling the dossier story let's it -- like it's a bedridden aunt with a lot of money. but here, we are different. this hoax is like spending the holidays with your parents. it's as important as it is soul crushing. because that one false manufactured story guided nearly everything the media focused on for over four years and when we made fun of it, the media made fun of us like we were in denial when in fact it was them all along. so we need to settle the score and then run that score up like the harlem globetrotters playing against the little sisters of the poor. so first, a recap. the steele dossier wasn't anti-trump conspiracy theory funded by the clinton campaign. it became the number one all things russian smear buffet. all it needed was boris in the bowl filled with poison borscht. >> the dossier has been corroborated by the intelligence community. >> the dossier in fact is far from bogus. >> we will have to stop calling it the infamous dossier. increasingly it's the accurate dossier. >> the famous dossier which is getting a lot marketability. >> the republican claim was that the dossier has been increasingly discredited. that's not true in terms of the public record about the dossier. in fact it's quite the opposite. >> greg: they have so much egg on their face their eyeballs in the lipitor. still bigger than watergate though. >> what we are watching in the trump presidency is worse than watergate. i keep getting asked, are there of watergate in this, and there are. >> we are also witnessing something we did not see in watergate, which is a meltdown by a president who is demonstrably unhinged. >> what we are seeing is worse than watergate. >> greg: poor guy. i mean, think about it. when watergate was her last success, you'd be bringing it up too. but it's been 50 years almost. that's like me brag about the time i got a lego stuck up my nose. that was 50 years ago too, but i'm not on cnn comparing everything for that. okay, it was last year, but so what. then there's rachel, whose brain snapped in 2016 like a bread stick. >> this guy keeps turning up again and again. the konstantin kilimnik -- konstantin kilimnik -- still russian military intelligence. this guy konstantin kilimnik. >> investigating for espionage. >> this guy is the key that unlocks the door. it seems like it would have to be buried >> greg: she hadn't been that excited since super cuts dropped their clipper cut from 28 to $22. [scattered laughter] but anyway, the steele dossier was hyped more than a fox patriot awards at the villages. >> you know it! >> greg: but it turns out it was fake. how fake? >> red meat multiple-choice test. >> greg: it was as fake as kamala's laugh, our president's teeth, hillary's smile, the clinton marriage, and bonus option, it's as fake as the urine kat supplies for her weekly drug test. it's the first sample they've seen that was carbonated. >> [laughs] >> greg: no please write down your choice on the back of a cereal box and mail it to jos garbo care of bellevue hospital. the new indictments coming out from special counsel john durham are even crazier. by the way, what is with this picture? is this -- is this the only picture ever taken of john durham? like a u-boat commander. the scary thing is, that's his sixth grade class picture. and why isn't he playing the lead in the life and times of wilford brimley? talk about cocoon. you could wrap yourself in that. sometimes i thought about it, and if you turned his head upside down, doesn't he look familiar? [laughter] enough at his expense buried the indictment offers lots of new evidence revealing the key source involving a shady guy named igor. he made false statements to the fbi about his role supplying the gossipy smears to him. the former british spy who worked for fusion gps, he's liks iq. so was this the ticking time bomb we were promised by every blue checker on twitter from 2016 up to 2020? well, it was indeed a bombshell except it went boom boom all over them and because of that, the story sinks like a gambino member wearing cement shoes, never to be seen except on the show because... is a go musical >> we care about the truth! and latex goods and also leather! we care about leather and latex goods! >> greg: mostly. so igor, on behalf of hillary, helped plant allies to fuel the collusion fairy tale. as the fbi also used his work to obtain surveillance warrants. yeah, igor confesses, it was all based on booze-fueled hearsay from friends, which is not bad research! that's how i found out that bigfoot had impregnated the loch ness monster to give birth to carrot top. that's all my research! but then his real source, which was another democratic hack, a guy whose only connection to the criminal and is a bottle of russian dressing in the fridge. my wife has more of a connection to moscow, the poster of a shirtless putin above our bed. in other words, this whole thing was a hoax, if malicious deception like kat's extensions. and much like all the other hoaxes we've heard, the fine people lie, covington, crt doesn't exist but what's a premise he does. i feel like i just wrote an outline for a new fox nation series. hosted by diamond and silk. but this dossier smear was designed to sway the election, claiming trump was under moscow's control because of the extorted power of black males. so is the media admitting to their huge error now? of course not. the story is too huge to admit it being false and that's why the hugest story on earth must vanish, because it's not simply the media admitting to being wrong, it's admitting to being fundamentally diluted for over four years and if there's any guiding principle in today's legacy journalism, that's it. [scattered applause] ♪ ♪ at vanguard, you're more than just an investor, you're an owner with access to financial advice, tools and a personalized plan that helps you build a future for those you love. vanguard. become an owner. ♪ ♪ [scattered applause] >> greg: happy veterans day, america! what a glorious day and a glorious country. or as the democratic party describes it, before teens racist toilet. maybe after seeing their own grim handwriting on the wall, probably in a unisex bathroom, they're trying to change their own warped view of america. have you noticed the new word used by frustrated democrats? it's "normal." inflation, illegal immigration, and crime spiral out of control, moderate dems are trying to distance themselves from the idiotic rabble promoting critical race theory and 250 genders by saying hey, we are normal. and i can't blame them. they're losing elections the way kat loses her extensions when she gets the spins. as the biden administration destroys everything's it gets its grubby hands on -- or member however think king midas touched turned to gold? everything joe touches turns to their parents and says mommy, why is this weird man's nose and my hair? according to axios, the new site, not my greek personal trainer -- you can crack walnuts on its glutes, and i have. the word normal is the code word used to separate some dems from their bonkers colleagues. they want americans to know that the activist classed within their party doesn't speak for them, especially when they speak like this. >> we campaign with these plans, and then the environment is such that we are expected defend. >> greg: that was her during her french accent while in france. and it was harder to watch then "the view"'s swimsuit special. no one of the white house keeps hiding her like a bust of winston churchill. she is the vice president that has been administration saying let's talk about hunter biden's laptop, hoping she might learn something, like why deodorant is so important. but at least jimmy kimmel knows why people don't like her. >> americans really are happy with his vice president, kamala harris. i think they know why kamala's ratings are low besides sexism and racism, which are the obvious ones. >> greg: the obvious ones. well, he is the expert on sexism and racism. who can forget his pro-women work on "the man show"? ♪ ♪ that's progressive. and of course there are his efforts on behalf of blacks. >> hello, everybody out there in tv town, this is karl malone of the utah jazz here to tell you about karl malone home state louisiana. >> greg: yeah, i think is the last got to call anyone racist or sexist, but that's his penance for his own indiscretions. smearing you, he thinks, will take the heat off him. he's like a [bleep] corporation going woke to hide their own corruption and he smears a ton of people, including his own party. harris dropped out of the primaries because she polled at 3% so i guess according to kimmel, that means 97% of the democrats must be bigots. but maybe the dems don't know what normal is anymore. after denigrating it for decades. remember two-parent households were once normal. now anything qualifies as parenting. love for country was once normal but now we replaced the pledge to our flag with the pledge to be a limb. respecting the police was once normal, now they are jealous of rodney deventer field. keeping violent criminals behind bars was once normal, now the norm is to set them free like an injured bird you nursed back to health. i hate normal, believe me. this is what i did this morning before i came to work. ♪ ♪ i hate normal! but the democrats have moved the goalposts of normal into the parking lot across the street. even virginia democrat abigail spanberger complains that americans elected biden to be normal and stop the chaos. you know, the chaos in the form of low taxes, control of our borders, record low one up women, energy dependence, revolutionary vaccines, that is some crazy chaotic [bleep]. while matt, trump was so abnormal or what we used to call successful, but that stuff drove the elites crazy and it was all it took to galvanize them to get rid of him with completely fabricated scandals and a secret election cabal. so here's the new normal courtesy of a crooked media. >> president biden: the best way to get something done if you hold near and dear to you that you like to be able -- anyway. i think i'm supposed to introduce somebody but i'm not sure who i'm supposed to introduce. [scattered laughter] >> greg: and less you're a child talking in your sleep, that is not normal. but maybe it comes down to joe's definition of normal. as long as his life retains its own normalcy, who cares about yours? i mean, he just discovered under his leadership that gas has gone up and not just the stuff coming out of his butt. >> president biden: to do everything to be paying this much for a gallon of gas? in some parts of california they're paying $4.50 a gallon. >> greg: thanks for noticing, joe. i think its value except the occasional bm. but he's good with it because everything is normal in his cloistered world. he still has his nap at 2:00 p.m., which is usually when he's being briefed about the latest national security threats, he swims at 4:00 p.m., which is odd since the public school requires proper swimming attire. he removes his teeth at 7:00 p.m., sometimes earlier if it's custard night. and in between he fits in destroying afghanistan. then they lock him inside his room with a coloring book and a box of crayons, joe says orange and red are his favorite flavors. tibet has more autonomy. the person in charge really has more people controlling him than britney spears. and yet i don't think i've seen so many things go wrong in one administration at one time. this white house is the political equivalent of an alec baldwin movie set. if he hates the press and innocent people suffer. remember those people who lied to us about that joe was so moderate and so calm? he is so different from trump, the way my bikini pictures are so different from margo robbie's. trump was in your face but he was also in your reality. joe is rarely to be found, even when he is standing in front of you. it's like talking to a hologram. it's dawning on the dems this is not better than a president who could call them reporters all by himself. you replace the mean tweeter with inflation, crime, afghanistan, migrant crisis, a lock of order in favor of biden chaos that's puts the nation in two. i wonder what joe has to say. >> look, look, i'm sick and tired of talking but what's normal and what isn't normal, all right? but, i understand gas prices are not normal, but you know what else isn't normal? opec. you know what that stands for? oil, peck. you know the thing, all right? you know what else isn't normal? covid-19 72 is when i first got into this business. i've been on the dance for a long time, so i know normal. you want to know something that's not normal? i got a painting i can sell you for half a million dollars. ♪ ♪ ♪♪ ♪♪ ♪♪ experience the power of sanctuary at the lincoln wish list event. ♪ you've got to try a little kindness ♪ ♪ yes, show a little kindness ♪ ♪ just shine your light for everyone to see ♪ ♪ and if you try a little kindness ♪ ♪ ♪ [scattered applause] >> greg: i spit on myself! happy sometime in november, you freaks. what a show we've got for you. mike rowe is here in the house! is the first guest we had to hose down before the show. he's done some of the dirtiest jobs on the planet but he says being kat's housekeeper was by far the worst. kat, she based jewel pods to keep from eating tide pods." this kellyanne conway! she is the reason jim acosta became a bed wetter. we will get to tyrus later. so last saturday i did a live show in birmingham, alabama. it was a great time had by all, especially me. whoever sent the three little people strippers to my trailer for the show is appreciated. it's amazing what they can get up to when you stack them. like a sleeve of ritz crackers. but that's the thing about doing his live shows, people give me things, and not just cold sores. they give me stuff unicorns, home-baked brownies, a sketch of me half naked lying on a bearskin rug. and that came from pete hegseth. i remember posing for that sketch, he in the role of jack and me as rose in "titanic." i should stop. but my point is i get a lot of stuff handed to me and it's impossible to look at everything. usually i leave some things behind, except the ones i can smuggle onto the plane and gently remove in the bathroom. but saturday, a gentleman handed me an envelope stuffed with paper. it's something i would normally have some alleles open, the last thing i need is another marriage proposal from some stranger. you remember this guy? what happened to him? he came and went like a jets head coach. i don't even know what that means. but guys, remember, if you're going to propose, you've got to put a ring on it and i don't mean my finger. i don't know what i mean. sorry, kellyanne. since i already had a fifth of june i decided to open envelope and flown to hold it wasn't a death threat or some mysterious white powder, sorry about that, kat. it was a letter from jim burns, formally in charge of solution architecture of microsoft. essentially his job was to come up with solutions for problems. it's a weird job because want to come up with a solution, you're out of a job. it's why democrats will work forever. but he sent me -- he sent me an idea that smacks me in the face harder than mohit and curly. it's called the mlk dream score, which would great political candidates based on their adherence to martin for kings "i have a dream" speech. how simple is this? it's as simple as eric swalwell. simple. and it would be easier to implement than my shoe list. but it tackles the gulf between people who claim they have your best interest at heart but then screw you over like a [bleep] weatherman. it describes every left-wing leader in the last two decades. as burns points out, there's no quick and accurate way to assess a candidate's suitability for blacks because they've been hoodwinked into voted for democrats who spout principles that sound good but then enact policies completely contrary to mlk apostate is vision. it's politics in a left-wing nutshell. people weigh the eloquence of speech is much more heavily than their actions. this is why obama was so popular. he nailed it on charisma but his policies did less for blacks than the casting director for "friends." can you think about one? you can't, can you? aisha taylor, tyler may be. you can say that about everyone from jesse jackson to "the squad." compare that to trump. to be honest, deliberately wasn't always great at times but even when he was as eloquent as rasputin without the sex appeal, his policies were more helpful to blacks than any modern era president. the one -- he might call the nfl millers -- but in the next great the lowest unemployment for blacks in modern history. you see? it goes back to words versus deeds. trump always nailed the deeds but he gave father to his critics with the words. it was harder for him to resist media bait and brian stelter is with the twinkie casserole. the mlk dream score solves this problem by scoring candidates using the principles embodied in the mlk speech, and it's easy. you create a website, which exists, which has the actual speech, and then a scorecard with a selectable map of the country, you can visit your state, find your candidates and their dream score. it's like a fantasy football league for politicians. if it's high it would show happy mlk, if it's low, it would be angry. and all candidates would be treated the same regardless of race. in other words, they would be judged on the content of their policies, not the color of their skin. sure, charisma might count for something, but not a lot. after all, this is about finding a great leader, not the next "american idol," so obama would get a low score because although he was cool, his policies left blacks cold. biden would get scored zero for excusing physical violence at protests, crating polarizations by branding people is racist, and having no interest in a "beautiful symphony of brotherhood." but winston sears would -- her words are consistent with mlk's speech about printable some character. deeds are weighted versus words and it's a great way to gauge a leader. it would literally get rid of every liberal mayor in days if not seconds. i wonder with the angry black mail thinks. ♪ ♪ >> it's, fellas, you are here to pitch about fixing racial division in this country. >> thanks for having us, tyrus. ♪ ♪ >> here at white and white associates, we focus group anxious caucasians to help people of color like you. >> like me? >> i know that sounds like i was saying you people. >> yeah, because you did. >> i think you will still like some of the ideas we have. >> permanent daylight savings for black people because we are always in our late? this is nothing but stupid stereotypes, do you have anything else to do today besides waste my time? >> what if someone had a dream? >> go on. >> where people weren't judged by stereotypes and race, instead on the content of their character? >> okay. all right. let me look at this list again. [laughs] you know what? i actually like this one. ♪ ♪ >> greg: so this is the first time i've ever done a monologue based on something a fan gave me other than a fake phone number, but it shows you where great ideas come from. they come from you. when you sit down and you think hard, you would be surprised what comes out of you. especially if you do your best thinking on the toilet. [scattered applause] ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ hey, tam-tam! i was thinking maybe... your mom's car? ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ merry christmas, dad. [upbeat acoustic music throughout] ♪ ♪ >> greg: yes! happy wednesday, everyone! so did you hear? "the squad," they demanded something. i know! let's hope it's four one-way tickets to cuba. really, why did they keep demanding so much from america when they could get everything they want from a commie paradise 9 miles south. terrorists don't make this many demands when they kidnap someone. they work for us, not the reverse. but now they are lashing out at biden after he said the white house has no plans to extend the paws on federal student loan repayments. gee, i wonder if aoc has over $70,000 in student loan debt. >> i have over $17,000 in student loan debt. we have a moral obligation, and economic obligation, if political obligation to cancel student loan debt. >> greg: cancel? did you get that? we are morally obligated to pay us the dash pay off this idiot is debt. if the members of "the squad" were morally obligated, then one of them couldn't marry her brother. [scattered applause] so she's talking about her college education debt where she majored in dome with a minor in ignorance. and it's a debt that she agreed to pay but now she wants you to cover the tab. but okay, i'll play. if i pay her debt, then you got to pay my mortgage. how is that for a trait? why don't you get a special carve out and not me? you actually have more power than i do. you got the privilege and now you want the perks. how about returning that dress you wore to the gala? that's 20k right there! so we don't owe you a single penny. i only wish there was someone around was even dumber than her. >> i worked full-time monday through friday and took weekend classes to get my law degree and still close to $200,000 in debt. >> greg: whose fault is that? you brimming cup of piping hot stupid. if she can work hard to get her degree, why can she work hard to pay for her degree? write a book. hell, even jesse watters can do that. and now you expect us to wipe that financial slate clean. she makes 174 grand a year off taxpayers and for her, that's not enough. but it does raise the point, why did the dumbest people have the most agrees? as a matter of fact, the really smart ones don't have any. einstein quit high school, bill gates dropped out, so did james woods and david geffen, both zuckerberg and steve jobs left school without diplomas too. what does that tell you? at least these people have huge contributions to our world, unlike you adults. those pieces of paper we call diplomas are the only reason to mistake "the squad" for being smart. in short, maybe they got ripped off, but not by you or me. they didn't go to the university of "gutfeld!," which is free and voted number one party school three years in a row. [scattered applause] i am accepting applicants. but you have to send a photo. they got ripped off by the colleges who saw how easy it was to get student loans from banks, and tagging these brain-dead bozos with absurd interest rates. who would think a system were 18-year-olds with no income getting hundred thousand dollar loans would cause problems to the universities in the government did. they should give themselves in a for absolute we and competence. and didn't aoc get a degree in economics? i could clip my toenails for six month come up with them in the bag, and they would understand inflation better than her. by the way, i sell them on ebay to pay off my college debts. that's enterprising. they try to pretend like forgiving student that helps the poor except the people with student debt are just like them, pampered, upper-middle-class leftists who can afford more stuff than you. we've seen aoc's d.c. apartment on instagram. didn't look like section 8 housing to me, ms. cortez. they pretend to be the working class but expect the working class to bail them out. while they were racking up debt with useless degrees, the working class were denied that opportunity largely due to cost. if you bail these idiots out, you're literally taking money from people who are worse off than them. i wonder how this would play out in the real world. ♪ ♪ >> and he's going to pay for all these too. >> i don't of his lady. >> come on, let's go, let's go. >> even if i wanted to, i can't afford all this. >> whatever comical. but you're not the one who's late to her wine tasting. >> i can't afford a country club either. >> take out a loan. >> greg: take out a loan! it's like a little new yorker cartoon. so how can these squad members do this with a straight face? maybe that's why biden and pelosi had so much plastic surgery. here's an idea. you want debt forgiveness that actually doesn't help the rich? i've got a plan. i call it greg gutfeld on wheels. there are more people who rely on cars for living than a master's degree in gender dysmorphia. suddenly their gas cost more than 50% than before. there loans are roughly the same as the student loans. why not forgive those loans for hardworking yanks instead of your spoiled scholastic [bleep]? i will pay off the trunk loan -- truck loan of some contractor supporting a family an ihop waitress with two kids who moonlights as a strippers and needs implants. i'm nothing if not a philanthropist. forgetting an auto loan is way more inegalitarian than forgetting that for people who go to met galas in a tesla. but if you want loan forgiveness, you can't come to us, you've got to go to the schools. why punish the taxpayers? they didn't take your money. the overpaid administrators did. their cost controls are more nonexistent than pete buttigieg's -- of course joe biden, instead of leading, continue squirming, a spineless void ready for the picking. he said it's up to congress to help execute his plan to cancel ten grand of student loans but only if the congress sends him a bill. it's pretty convenient for this lame trojan horse. speaking of horses, would be better off with mr. ed running things, at least he could talk. but it could be that joe is playing dumb. come to think of it, there would be no playing involved. ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ [scattered applause] >> greg: happy wednesday, everyone! so it turns out there are only two sexual orientations, leftists, and everyone else. it's true. according to a new poll, 71% of democrats college students wouldn't go on a date with someone with opposing views versus only 31% of republicans. that's a difference of like a thousand percent, kat. yeah. although 40% of young dems refused to be friends with the other side compared to just 5% of republicans. so apparently the newly woke prefer to judge you as good or evil based on political affiliation. which can explain how a writer attacking someone in kenosha suddenly became a martyr. 30% of dems but only 7% of republicans wouldn't work for someone who voted differently from them which sucks for democrats since all bosses are republicans. but on the bright side, democrats, everyone at the unemployment office, they vote blue. gender affects the divide in that fewer women would go on a date with someone who voted for an opposing candidate than men. probably because men don't see politics when they see hotness. meaning if a guy has sex with a woman who looks like young bridget pardo and suddenly notices her obama tattoo, i'm pretty sure that won't be a deal breaker. the fact is, if we saw politics before looks, politics wouldn't exist because neither would we. the study also shows fewer women would shop at a business owned by someone of the other party, although i'm sure that changes when there's a shoe sale, am i right, kat? >> hey oh! >> greg: because chicks like she was! they buy shoes! >> you got me. >> greg: all right, shut up! so the partisan divide israel, but it's as one-sided as the french made apron eyewear at stuart varney's place. axios, who did the polling, concludes such a divide makes future discord all the more likely. i mean, you've got to wonder how far a liberal might take this. ♪ ♪ >> good morning, you are a very lucky man! we found a donor for your transplant. >> wait a minute, whose kidneys that? >> we don't know, but he did say the donation was part of being a good american. >> it conservative kidney? i'd rather die. >> without this kidney, you will die. >> you don't understand, he had hate in his heart and it's probably in his kidneys too. i don't need bigoted organs. ♪ ♪ [scattered applause] >> greg: they are plotting the death of jean. i'm with you. so this divide isn't the real story. it's really why these spoiled brats can no longer recognize that other perspectives have value. instead it just means or evil, so if you're for low taxes, you're an evil greedy person. if you're for strong law enforcement, you must hate minorities. if you want school choice, you must be a domestic terrorist. all of these beliefs, however, are not original. there dispersed by the triple t-shirt cannon that is the media academia and the arts. they are the super soakers of bad ideas. there's nothing unique or rebellious about them. and once again we find that tolerance, as practiced by the left, is as real as kat's hair. it's not tolerance if you tolerate only those who accept your beliefs. it's just like out antiracist really means racist. so where does this new hate actually come from? it's not like it simply erupts in the brain exactly the same age for everyone. it's not like puberty where you suddenly get aroused by the legs of an ottoman, and by you i mean me. or like kat, where suddenly her voice is deeper than james earl jones. hate is assigned to you by social security number. all those deranged kids used to be okay, they were part of loving families. at one point buffy was a decent fun loving open mind to get the play ball with others in the one day, like a remake of "invasion of the body snatchers," that spirit of fun cooperation got replaced by robotic rates. the kid comes home infused with anger and her youthful good looks deliberately defaced like the side of a graffiti covered train sitting on the tracks. if the cheap piercings, the horribly died shaved hair, the ugliness is the work uniform for the unemployable. if you don't know what i mean, just google antifa mug shots or go to the supercuts websites. so the transformation -- it's so conforming that it tells you it's a well packaged ideological virus designed to pit human against human. she had and they have nothing on us. that's wokeism, which relies only on one single variable, identity. this dark, spiteful movement is given a wide berth because normal people are terrified of it. it's like being berated by homeless guy high on bath salts. it's better to appease them become a target of a mostly peaceful protest. but beneath the superficial changes lurks a dark fascism that's fed daily on campus by elites who decide the best way to get revenge against the country they despise is to poison impressionable minds and then release them into the wild. it's not that they won't want to work from you or don't want to date you, they want you destroyed. they want to cancel you, your business, your bank account, your right to free speech. it's what brought us antifa and the riots. being politically apart to them means the same thing it does to a serial killer who has you tied to a radiator in his basement grade they can do anything to you and they will. they are not robbing expensive handbags, they are punching hitler by stealing expensive handbags. so maybe it's time for a national intervention. back in the arrows of cults, we called it deprogramming and today, this is a cult, and like a cult, they take impressionable people and isolate them from any family or friends that hold a different view to take advantage of them. so where did they go after college when they can't date, converse, or work with half the population and their only skills are painting crude signs and making a decent molotov cocktail? they become more and more reliant on the cult, or they get a job at cnn. [applause] ♪ ♪ omega-3 from fish oil is an important nutrient for heart health. qunol's ultra purified omega -3, is sourced only from wild caught ocean fish, not farm raised and comes in an easy to swallow mini pill. the brand i trust is qunol. ♪ (vo) reflect on the past, celebrate the future. season's greetings from audi. new vicks vapostick. strong soothing vapors... help comfort your loved ones. for chest, neck, and back. it goes on clear. no mess just soothing comfort. try new vicks vapostick. what a great evening i hope yo enjoy the monologue. ♪ ♪ >> mike: good evening, welcome to was good evening and welcome two washington. breaking tonight a white former police officer in suburban minneapolis has been convicted of two of manslaughter charges. in the shooting death of a blac motorist. she used her service pistol instead of a taser. garrett is inrr minneapolis and expects good evening to you and after more than 27 hours of deliberation the jury found her guilty