another miniature red plastic car running over a coworker after be driven recklessly by a tiny greg gutfeld dummy. it doesn't get any easier. what? ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ >> tonight's episode, justice comes coming. >> thank you so much for coming in. i'm vaccinated, you don't have to wear a mask. >> it does come to my attention that you may have murdered emily compagno. this is obviously very against company policy. what you have to say for yourself? ♪ ♪ your silence means you are denying the allegations, but do you have an extreme amount of facial wounds. it's pretty clear that you were involved in a vehicular incident. i'm afraid i'm going to have to let you go. ♪ ♪ candy? just in time for halloween. that is so sweet. you know what, forget about the whole "you're fired" thing, okay? ♪ ♪ [applause] >> greg: the show has allowed me to kill mike up on you and cat tim's another day in new york city and another woman killed on a subway train. this video made the rounds and it is brutal. but it is not really surprising. [indistinct >> greg: so far, this video is closing in on 3 million views. 1 million likely by me. i have watched it more times than the outtakes from naked and afraid. because like the planet fitness steam room after 8:00 p.m., there's a lot going on in that pact train. obviously this video shows a crazed dude slugging a check in the face after she tells him to take a chill pill. now maybe i'm wrong, but punching someone who tells you to take a chill pill is the worst way to prove that you don't need a chill pill. it happened on the d train, which apparently stands for dangerous, or deadly, or why am i still living on new york city? it's amazing. it's getting worse every day come every day it's getting worse. the man had been shouting "say it to my face" regarding her chill pill comments which she does. for what it's worth it so an and norma's amount of bravery. hopefully child protective services notices what great father he really is. so he smacks her hard and no one did anything to intervene or check on the woman or subdue the perp. chivalry is dead and it probably got killed by a guy who was let out of jail by democrats. no wonder far left politicians are hiring all the security guards. which means it's time for... >> yes, it's time for what would you do in the situation and seriously be honest, okay? because when i watch this, i became enraged at the bystanders. who after appearing shocked seemed to do nothing except look at their phones and avoid eye contact. they act like me when he talks about his phlebitis. i don't even know what that is. i hope it's nothing serious. this is the second such story where people witness a horrible crime and do nothing. in philly, and then incapacitated woman was assaulted on the train and nobody did anything. i was the gate about this, i wonder what would i have done? i'd like to think i would've rushed to the woman's aid, schooled at the back, and if he lunged at me i would have clocked him, sending him writhing to the floor. now let's be honest, as guys we replay these heroic fantasies in our heads. it is one of many. some fantasize catching the winning pass at the super bowl, i fantasize about rescuing a child from humble, because in the fantasy i also threw him down the well. but reality sets in, may be on the subway i would've done nothing. here is why. a man who slugs a woman sends a message that he would do anything. chivalry is dead because bystanders know it, if they step and they will be dead too. of course he created a force field by claiming he was a victim of racism. the sad part is because this is nyc, half the people on the train probably agreed with him. and if a white man stepped in, the story would become about race. and all those folks who just looked down at their phones would be sure to point the phone at the mail and review that clip thousands of times, but with the context of a black man accosting by a white guy on the train. accusations of race and keep everyone their place. everything is judged not by context come about by group identity. just like mlk didn't dream about. remember, a cup was called out by lebron james. if you becomes the oppressor. doesn't matter that the crime was riddled with sexism because a strong man was pounding on a young woman. women are equal to men now, remember? you should expect a bit clocked just as hard as a man one. the independent woman can do it alone peered our world doesn't get worse overnight, it sneaks up on you like male powdered male patternbaldness. without reacting, we let it unfold. when our heads are down, crime goes up. it started with the soft bigotry of low expectations followed by the notion that cops are prosecutors that are part of the problem. finally criminals are let loose and is nothing we can do about it but capture their crimes on our phones. perhaps fresh after 9/11 the spirited unity would have crushed this perp, but now in this strange new world, we've lowered the bar for behavior. it went from a low bar to know bar, to headlines like "man or woman beat to death in a bar leaving society fubar." but hey, maybe someone should've called a social worker. ♪ ♪ >> let's welcome tonight's guest. his gym a new trim costume wouldn't even need a wig, robbie sauve. you know he's in the building when the hobos show up to shut of his close back, jimmy delia. she makes the kind of films we love to see become a director and former white house staffer, amanda delius. and she turns heads when she walks into a building because of the loud sound it makes as she hits the wall, fox news contributor kat timpf. so jimmy, the only thing worse than that woman getting hit by that guy is the current jacket that you are wearing. [laughter] >> greg: that is punching me in the eyeballs. i keep forgetting you landed a w movie, the devil wears off stage. to speak of the villain is whoever sold that to you. >> i love how you think i paid for this. and if anyone is interested, yes, it does come in men's. >> greg: is this a disturbing sign of society or is this just how people act in a packed subway so they don't get hit? >> that is part of it. that is why guys didn't jump in. i've mixed emotions on this, because i spent a lot of money to get beat up. there is that element. but can we just acknowledge that at no point during this attack was anyone on the train sane, man, it's a good thing that is not an unvaccinated cop coming here right now. because that would make everything terrible, right? >> exactly. >> greg: it so insane. the reality is because it is a black man hitting a white woman, this story is not a story. if you are not shining a light on it, it's not really getting talked about it as it goes against that narrative that white people are evil and we have it coming to us, which i think is so cheap and stupid and this is the reality that politicians created that they themselves don't live in. and i think even getting beyond race, we will see more of this because the subways what? a constant reminder that things are going well for you in life. you know timing? you are stuck on the subway. everybody's mad come everybody's the worst version of themselves. do you ever have one of those moments where you want to catch the train and the door shuts right in front of your face you say god, i hope that [bleep] train blows up. >> greg: i've never felt that way. >> you don't take the train. >> the second later the doors open and you are on the train. >> greg: i felt that way when i was watching sliding doors. a call back to a 1996 film starring gwyneth paltrow. what is wrong with you people? she missed the sliding doors and her whole life changes and she dies. i like that part. amanda, let's talk about movies. your dad -- what movie? >> that my dad did? "red dawn," "conan the barbarian" barbarian." >> greg: why don't i always tie him to "death wish." >> because that's his persona. >> greg: thank you for saving me. so, apocalypse now. are we at apocalypse now? [laughter] thank you. good night, everybody! i saved it, amanda. to jimmy's point cometh like great, if you are scared of being called a racist, you are not going to do anything. >> a lot of people were talking about the story like it had to do with the crime. democrats voted for this it's new york city, this is the crime that happens and you lead people out of jail. it's like now, it's actually about race. if this was a white guy that punch this woman, people would not have hesitated as much to step in. i also think it's really weird -- nobody wants to be that karen on the viral video. and that is what they've created. that is going to get much worse. the other thing that's crazy as i heard that the guy that standing next to her was her boyfriend. i don't know if that's true or not, but i don't know how you continue -- >> i don't know if it's true anymore. >> how do you continue to have a normal relationship with a man that doesn't step in that situation? >> greg: we don't know that. but let's pretend it is true. >> okay, no problem. i will give you the unverified. >> greg: it was above -- yes, they are not sleeping together anymore. >> they have problems. >> greg: robbie come as a set of, every guy thinks that they are going to do something, right? i'm sure you've had these fantasies on your little electric scooter. >> i'm going to write about it later. really bold action i will take. journal it, no big deal. i know. you know, i think -- i don't know how you knew this kind of stuff is. it's now recording on video. everyone all the time has their phone out. they see something, they've got to let you see 30 seconds of it. not what happened before, not what happens after. we are talking about it on tv, which is what everybody does. i don't know how new it is. it is new to hear about crime or hear about -- in d.c. with the shooting. then you wait did you go okay, they weren't socially distancing. oh, no. >> that subway was packed by the way. some of those people did get covid. >> covid is the best thing to catch on the subway if we are being honest. [laughter] >> i caught some things there and i took them home with me. >> where there lessons learned? >> i guess that depends. very rarely ever are there lessons learned. i guess, you know, new york -- we keep talking about this. it is awful. stuff like this happens all the time. but it's also so expensive still. and that is upsetting to me, because i really want to know what i am paying for. and i don't mean that in the rhetorical sense. truly, what am i paying for? it's not safe, there's garbage everywhere. stuff like that happens. something like that probably happen five more times. >> greg: is a guy outside the building that punches the mailbox. >> would at the mailbox due to him? >> exactly. >> greg: the mailbox said "chill pill." >> one time a guy broke up with me for not being chill, which is a not operational thing of him. >> greg: but then you killed him. >> yes. >> greg: all right come up next, illegal immigrants latest demands, give them a check for 450 grand. our retirement plan with voya, keeps us moving forward. hey, kevin! hey, guys! they have customized solutions to help our family's special needs... giving us confidence in our future... ...and in kevin's. voya. well planned. well invested. well protected. go with simparica trio it's triple protection made simple! simparica trio is the first and only monthly chewable that covers heartworm disease, ticks and fleas, round and hookworms. dogs get triple protection in just one simparica trio! this drug class has been associated with neurologic adverse reactions, including seizures. use with caution in dogs with a history of these disorders. protect him with all your heart. simparica trio. ♪“i swear”♪ jaycee tried gain flings for the first time the other day... protect him with all your heart. and forgot where she was. you can always spot a first time gain flings user. ♪ ♪ >> greg: across the border, they made a dash. now biden is giving them a ton of cash. taxpayers will put the bill as the legals get half a million. according to "the wall street journal" owned by a parent company rc cola. the biden administration is in talks to give huge cash payouts to illegal aliens. it is an actual solution for a series of lawsuits being brought by the aclu. and some private attorneys on the behalf of migrant families who had children separated on the border at during only the trump administration apparently. they claim the government subjected them to lasting psychological trauma by not sending them to prison with their parents. it raises the question, why don't i get any money for the long lasting psychological trauma i endured after accidentally seeing jerrold nadler in his pants? look at that. i still don't understand. but rather than fighting his claims in court, biden's government wants to settle these claims with your cash, the average payout would be roughly 450 grand. it's amazing. but in lieu of money, maybe some migrants will agree to a hunter biden painting. 500 grand. the total potential payout could be over 1 billion. congressman dan crenshaw put it in perspective. biden wants to pay illegal immigrants 450 grand for their hardship while breaking our laws. the service member is killed in action, their next of kin gets an insurance payment of 400,000. and that is while biden constantly checks his watch. joe, what say you? >> look, man pit i don't want to hear about money. it's just money, man. all right? you are talking to a guy who grew up without any money. i was the only white lifeguard at a pool in wilmington. every day -- the pool had no water. true story, every day i was diving off the diving board straight into the cement. so don't you tell me about the dash the... whatever you are talking about. [applause] >> greg: amanda, this is deftly part of some kind of a larger scheme, because if this becomes -- i mean, this is a perfect way to drain an economy. it is never going to stop. who could be behind this? >> i mean, you must think it's like a villain in a bond movie or something. it is so evil -- they had to do this because we had already reached rock bottom. there is no policy worse. let's give illegal immigrants half a million dollars. it's like, really? it's insane, because what dan crenshaw said -- the avarice don't like average service member to only get 25k. that is what we pay to defend our country but than they are going to have this idea where they are going to pay people to invade our country for half a million dollars. i feel like it's pretty clear how that is going to end up. it's no longer a mystery how the american story is going to end. it sucks when that becomes clearer and clearer. >> greg: all of this is about the same -- it's about the same problem that democrats have always had. possibly even republicans, but republicans are better at incentives and disincentives. this is an incentive. it is a pure incentive. as a libertarian, you must be shaking your head. >> what i'm thinking as i can get half a million dollars for the psychological torment that the government has visited upon me. to sign me up for that, i'm traumatized. are you kidding me? i mean, i support saner immigration laws, then we are going to pay them -- it doesn't make any sense. >> greg: a no, doesn't. kat, when i heard this, i thought it was a joke. somebody's reading a tweet and a break and of my, that is not real. don't even report it. be normal for once and don't report it. you're getting this crazy -- you now. all the sudden i look and i might come a holy. it is a parody. it's not going to happen. >> i stop saying that when it comes to the government or anything else. the government separates parents and kids all the time. the military does it. jail. nonviolent drug crimes. i'm not saying that there aren't drugs that are -- some of the mandatory minimum scum of the decades and decades of putting parents and kids separated to the fact that it's just this situation and just the trump administration. >> greg: is that the whole point, jimmy? >> by the way, i laugh at the hunter biden comparison. $500,000 for a painting. speaking is the only parent on the panel -- >> greg: wait! >> as far as i know. [laughter] >> greg: >> if you are a parent and you don't know, that's a big problem. speaking is the only birthing person on the panel. >> greg: weights, dad? >> don't i look like the ghost of christmas future if he doesn't hold his life together. >> you should've directed that baldness joke to jimmy. that was unfair. >> you are so bothered by it! speak i look like the scared straight version of robbie. like do you want to wear a leopard print on the "gutfeld!" show when you are 40? but as a family man come everybody's making too big of a deal about family separation. if i walked with my family 1,00d if they separated us by the time i got to the border. my wife would've been making out with the border agent like, i could've used you 500 meters ago. >> greg: when i look at people approaching the border, they do not look desperate. is that wrong to say? >> no. >> greg: okay good. that is how i judge what i do, i just asked people. does that sound bad? all right come up next, it's what we all feared. mark zuckerberg got more weird. when our daughter and her kids moved in with us... our bargain detergent couldn't keep up. turns out it's mostly water. so, we switched back to tide. one wash, stains are gone. [daughter] slurping don't pay for water. pay for clean. it's got to be tide. ♪ i like it, i love it, i want some more of it♪ ♪i try so hard, i can't rise above it♪ ♪don't know what it is 'bout that little gal's lovin'♪ ♪but i like it, i love it♪ applebee's. now that's eatin' good in the neighborhood. up to one million dollars. that's how much university of phoenix is committing to create 400 scholarships this month alone. if you're committed to earning your degree, we're committed to making it accessible. because we believe everybody deserves a chance. and sometimes one chance is all it takes to change everything. see what scholarship opportunities you may qualify for at phoenix.edu ♪ ♪ >> greg: is it lame to change her name just to avoid blame? facebook ceo mark zuckerberg, a.k.a. shaved terrible head, has announced his company will be rebranding itself "meta." he said it's all about aligning with his virtual reality vision for the future, which he detailed in a 90 minute video this week. we now paused to watch all 90 minutes -- go [laughter] with no interruptions. >> it is time for us to adopt a new company brand to encompass everything that we do. to reflect who we are and what we hope to build, i am proud to announce that starting today, our company is now "meta." >> greg: he so completely relatable. that is met up, like he's never met a fellow human being before. he says relatable -- it's true. he says relatable as bringing silly string to a funeral. i don't know what he is. he says the new meta-name will better encompass what they do. meta comes from the greek word meaning beyond. yes ladies, i am bilingual. plus, i speak two languages. you can't help but wonder if it's a response to all the bad press facebook has been getting lately. alec baldwin has had a better week. but you know what? we need more of zuckerberg picking out an outfit. >> it has an incredibly inspiring view of what ever you find most beautiful. >> hey, are you coming? >> yeah, i just have to find something to wear. all right, perfect. spew on, perfect. let's have some more of this. >> speaking of fitness, i think it's time for my workout. a lot of you guys are already using this to stay fit. it lets you work out and completely new ways. it's kind of like appellate tongue, but instead of a bike you just have your vr headset and with it you can do anything from boxing lessons, sword fighting, and even dancing. >> greg: even dancing but he reminds me of a robot, but without the. kat, is this just prove he doesn't have any friends? >> yes, that is exactly what its proof of. because he is very, very rich. what you would think -- you would think you could do something about being like that. i always thought that money could buy more than it really can. you know? you could get a coach, be like humans, don't do that. but you can't. i just don't understand. all the money in the world and you come up with "meta." that is what everybody's come up with after a couple. whatever those are. >> greg: if i were metamucil, i would sue him. amanda, you are a filmmaker. let's say -- doesn't this remind you of the michael creighton movie disclosure? do you remember that movie? >> yes, but it's so much creepier than anything people so far have actually created in order to be creepy. the dystopian future of just watching that, i already want out. i'm done, i'm out. but the thing that's really weird about it, the social media companies think they are going to be moving towards this meta-vr world beer might want to stop spamming people all the time and censoring them, because basically what is going to entice anyone to get into this weird vr world where they are just going to be like, you can come into the vr world, just sit here and be quiet. i'm good. i can't connect with anybody anyway, so why would i do this? yeah, it's a little crazy. >> greg: if you get canceled in this world, you get canceled in the next. well done. speaking of filmmakers... >> greg: it's all in here. >> zuckerberg is what would happen if the robot from small wonder transitioned. >> greg: that's good, that's very good. who doesn't remember vicki? >> what i find so fascinating about this is held with a straight face they're not acknowledging why the rebrand is happening. it's happening because the branding is toxic. he knocked up the stewardess. they just want to rebrand and start from scratch. which by the way, if no one is doing anything on sunday, my wife and i are getting married. [laughter] but that's all this is, it's a reset. and what's funny is they are not acknowledging why the reset -- it's because everybody on the left is not because they didn't censor conservatives enough. this is a declaration that there's more coming. i hate him, i'm sorry. >> greg: robbie, you are going to be the benefactor of my fury, which is that if zuckerberg is creating a simile should would be a moment in time where that simulation you would be able to create another simulation. and if you could simulate in a forward direction, what does that tell us about the backward -- that we are a simulation question my keys creating a simulation and stimulation, simulations all the way down. i'm not high, i do believe i have with the stomach flu, which could be making me crazy. >> may be a glitch in the matrix. some kind of a -- >> greg: thought or diarrhea. >> it's like he's describing this is how you will be fitness -- are you pivoting to real life? are you inventing the opposite the opposite? going about your day. >> greg: he's coming around to go outside. >> i know how to do that already. but it is funny that just like jimmy said, he had republicans, democrats, one. every political figure mad at this company wants 2 out of existence. i just think, why? it's done, it's over. it's a dying star. it will never commend the political, social, and cultural significance that it did a few years ago. it is going to be some of the company. >> greg: interesting beard all right, coming up. people who vote about believing in goats. >> tech: when you get a chip in your windshield... trust safelite. this couple was headed to the farmers market... when they got a chip. they drove to safelite for a same-day repair. and with their insurance, it was no cost to them. >> woman: really? >> tech: that's service the way you need it. >> singers: ♪ safelite repair, safelite replace. ♪ i don't just play someone brainy on tv - i'm an actual neuroscientist. and i love the science behind neuriva plus. unlike ordinary memory supplements, neuriva plus fuels six key indicators of brain performance. more brain performance? yes, please! neuriva. think bigger. [sfx: radio being tuned] welcome to allstate. ♪ [band plays] ♪ a place where everyone lives life well-protected. ♪♪ and even when things go a bit wrong, we've got your back. here, things work the way you wish they would. and better protection costs a whole lot less. you're in good hands with allstate. click or call for a lower auto rate today. the worst genocide in human history also destroyed the lives of thousands of jewish survivors still suffering today. god calls on people who believe in him to act on his word. "comfort ye, comfort my people." especially during this holiday season of hanukkah. when i come here and i sit with lilia i realize what she needs right now is food. these elderly jews are weak and they're sick. they're living on $2 a day this now, is how god's children are living. take this time to send a survival food box to these forgotten jews. the international fellowship of christians and jews urgently need your gift of $25 now to help provide one survival food box with all of the essentials they critically need for their diet for one month. your special holiday gift will provide everything they need to celebrate the miracle of hanukkah. this is the first time in over 70 years that she has anything to do with faith. the communists came and wiped it out. and now we're coming to her and saying, "it's okay to have faith." it's okay to light the hanukkah candles. for just $25, you can help supply the essential foods they desperately need for one month. i just want to encourage all of you to join with yael eckstein and the wonderful work of the international fellowship of christians and jews. god tells us to take care of them, to feed the hungry. and i pray holocaust survivors will be given the basic needs that they so desperately pray for to survive. ♪ ♪ >> greg: it is the view of most that they are aliens and ghosts. yes, these believers come clean just in time for halloween. a new survey from phantom lines, i love where we get our research. [laughter] you are going to be on "special report" real's income must. they believe that nearly 60% believe in ghosts. followed by extraterrestrials at 39%. bigfoot, seen here, at 27%. and vampires at 14%. how do you think they get up so early? meanwhile, four intend to have claimed they had an experience with the paranormal when in reality they just ran into kat without her hair. we go to our friend correspondent. >> i'm not afraid of ghosts, that is kid stuff. >> greg: so stupid. but time-saving. so robbie, i assume that being a libertarian you laugh that such beliefs, right? until just now i thought this was special report. i'm really bummed. yeah sorry, i don't believe in ghosts or aliens or havana syndrome, which i'm learning about now. covid did come -- that when i believe. all the rest of it, no. there's unexplained things and eventually they become explained and it's never magic. >> greg: i would like to thank jamaica jimmy, that's just someg existed before and maybe we are seeing things -- like in a simulation. these ghosts and stuff could be the product of the simulator. what do you say to that? man and an ugly jacket. >> [laughs] i'm just going to let you have that one, by the way. >> he looks like the guy you turn to them to the documentaries about ghosts. [laughter] [applause] >> greg: that or "storage wars." >> or the cat trainer. >> fantastic stuff. >> greg: go ahead. >> the ghost thing. we've learned a lot about ghosts in the last year, for instance a lot of them voted in the 2020 election. >> there you go. >> i actually come on some weird level, believe there's a afterlife floating around. i believe there is some particle -- i know this sounds like a marion williams at the dnc debate, but i do think that there's something. i don't think it's as reductive as we explain it, which is just "do." >> greg: i agree with you. i think there's unexplained phenomena. >> people believe a lot of crazy things in this country. like that joe biden was the most popular candidate in 2020 and all kinds of crazy things. apparently these days the vibe is if you can imagine it, it is reality. so why not? >> greg: i was a little bit alarmed by the amount of people who are believing in bigfoot. >> yeah, that's a lot of people. like, why? >> greg: they googled it when they were asked. >> exactly, i don't know. i don't know how i feel about any of the spirit i would love to believe in it. i would love to believe that when i die, that i come back as a superhot ghost. you know? my hair extensions are always in. that would be great instead of thinking i just died and that's it and -- >> that's the thing about ghosts. when they come back, are they how they were when they died? every bit is the same age. but as a kid, you're not going to want grandmother at your age. you want grandmother at her age because you know your grandmother at 70. >> i would love to meet my grandma. >> greg: your grandmother wants to be 18, but she wants her granny to be 78. that could be a huge problem in heaven. >> nobody saw that, you are fine. [laughter] >> greg: that was a ghost. >> , i'm drooling. >> what if you see whatever you want to see? i want everyone to see me as a superhot ghost. >> greg: up next, fill your belly before the leftover jokes get too smelly. when you're driving a lincoln, stress seems to evaporate into thin air. which leaves us to wonder, where does it go? does it get tangled up in knots? or fall victim to gravity? or maybe it winds up somewhere over the bermuda triangle. perhaps you'll come up with your own theory of where the stress goes. behind the wheel of a lincoln is a mighty fine place to start. as someone who resembles someone else, i appreciate that liberty mutual knows everyone's unique. that's why they customize your car insurance, so you only pay for what you need. oh, yeah. that's the spot. only pay for what you need. ♪ liberty, liberty, liberty, liberty ♪ spew on time once again for leftovers. now they get a second chance and as always, it is the first time i meeting them. here we go. chicago mayor lori lightfoot was booed off stage at a recent union event. she took it in stride saying come at least to cover the sound of the gunfire. that was good. one for one. a kentucky school district is investigating a homecoming event where teen boys gave lap dances to fellow students and their principal. officials apologized and said, we don't condone that kind of behavior here at kevin spacey high school. former new york governor andrew cuomo was officially charged with a crime that could force them to register as a sex offender. cuomo said he's made all the right decisions to be the case and referred questions to his lawyer, eliot spitzer. new york mayor bill de blasio excellently referred to himself as captain kirk while wearing the blue "star trek" uniform favored by mr. spock. he apologized saying he would never support someone wearing blue. that's a good one. the self-proclaimed trekkie then uttered more inaccuracies like, may the force be with you, et phone home, and i am a confident mare. in a recent interview with anderson cooper, he admitted he created a bogus instagram account to help sell his late mother's artwork. cybersecurity experts say the fake persona was nearly as phony as cooper and person. the world series is underway in atlanta after the braves lost to the astros 7-2 in game one, stacey abrams demanded a recount. saw that one coming like a frisbee in the desert. the biden administration released a 42 page plan to promote gender equality. it's a 42 page recipe book, that's funny in itself. instructed men how to make their own sandwiches. [laughs] that was pretty good. you are not laughing. the plan calls for streaking the pay gap, increasing funding for obamacare, and tough new consent rules before you can sniff a woman's hair. the government has given out the first passport with x as the sex. congratulations, i hope you have a wonderful time traveling steven tyler. our reject jokes are better than the late-night jokes another shows. former msnbc contributor says condoleezza rice's stance proves she is a foot soldier for white supremacy. san francisco families say they no longer feel safe in the crime spree and they've hired private security. security agents looking for suspicious looking people, like anyone not [bleep] in the streets. internal documents reveal that instagram displays images of anorexic girls to kids with eating disorders. to combat the problem, all accounts will now auto follow michael more. and finally, covid restrictions could force 43% of caregivers to have to choose between their jobs and their responsibilities at home next year. try not showing up for two months and not telling anyone, said pete buttigieg. those are pretty good. now, before we go, i want to wish a big happy birthday to winona ryder. it is her birthday. but it is also kat's, right? so as always -- >> my pierogies. >> greg: we always get her a nice big plate of pierogies. but knowing that it's kat's birthday and we know what goes well with pierogies, and that, of course... [applause] >> thank you. >> greg: pierogies and math. >> math, just for me. >> greg: that is the end of that. >> my dad is going to be so proud. >> greg: what is it like, you are 40. >> i am 33. >> greg: your hair extensions are 33. >> my hair extensions are much younger than i am. they make me look younger than i am. anything else question marks for you and i, i haven't been told to tease yet, so i just we sit here awkwardly. >> and talk about me. >> greg: do you have plans for your birthday question mike >> yeah, right here. [applause] >> greg: who would've thought a show on fox news talking about doing math. and not really joking. not at all. don't go away, we will be right back. [applause] [ kimberly ] before clearchoice, my dental health was so bad i would be in a lot of pain. i was unable to eat. it was very hard. kimberly came to clearchoice with a bunch of missing teeth, struggling with pain, with dental disease. clearchoice dental implants solved her dental issues. [ kimberly ] i feel so much better. i feel energized to go outside and play with my daughter. i can ate anything. like, i don't have to worry. clearchoice changed my life. new projects means new project managers. you need to hire. i need indeed. indeed you do. when you sponsor a job, you immediately get your shortlist of quality candidates, whose resumes on indeed match your job criteria. visit indeed.com/hire and get started today. up to one million dollars. that's how much university of phoenix is committing to create 400 scholarships this month alone. because we believe everybody deserves a chance. see what scholarships you may qualify for at phoenix.edu >> greg: you could tell the ibf was a huge success. i would like to thank gary and greg for helping us out for the halloween week. they did a bang-up job. they murdered emily and kat. thanks to jimmy bayliss, kat timpf, our great studio audience, "fox news at night" with shannon bream is next. i'm greg gutfeld, and i love you america. ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ >> shannon: hello, and welcome to "fox news at night," i'm shannon bream in washington. ♪ ♪ break into night, republicans blasting the biden administration over reports the white house is and talk to pay some illegal immigrants who broke the law up to $450,000 each for being separated from their families. as congressman dad crenshaw notes, that's more than the insurance payment that goes to