Make a wish, hanukkah. Thats right, President Trump hosted a hanukkah reception at the white house. Its his favorite holiday because no matter how hard he tries, he cant misspell it. [ laughter ] in a new interview, House Speaker nancy pelosi said that she never watched President Trump on the apprentice, and then trump said he never watched her on golden girls. [ light laughter ] you were blanche, right . According to reports, Rudy Giuliani has reached a divorce settlement with his third wife they opted for divorce after she realized he was difficult to live with, and he realized she didnt have any dirt on joe biden. [ laughter ] according to reports, during a hunting trip to mongolia earlier this year, donald trump jr. Killed an endangered sheep even worse, he bored it to death by reading from his book [ laughter ] Time Magazine has announced that teenage climate activist Greta Thunberg is its 2019 person of the year when asked what she thought about time, thunberg said, we probably h
Its called evidence [ laughter ] in President Trumps letter, he accused nancy pelosi of declaring open war on american democracy and said, quote, you do not know, nor do you care the great damage and hurt you have inflicted upon wonderful and loving members of my family. This letter is bonkers [ light laughter ] i dont even know how to describe the tone of it. I guess if you took the most privileged white lady ever and gave her a whole bottle of wine and then asked her to write a yelp review of a restaurant that made her wait 40 minutes for a table and then got her order wrong twice. [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause President Trump campaign is reportedly planning to spend almost 400,000 this week on antiimpeachment ads, which seems unnecessary when the best antiimpeachment ad has as office down the hall [ laughter ] according to officials, President Trump believes that the more he repeats something, the more likely his supporters are to believe it. Though there are some limits [ laug
When asked about the criticism, trump said, wow, now i know how jesus felt on the cross. [ laughter ] after President Trump this morning compared impeachment proceedings to a lynching, senator Lindsey Graham defended trump saying, quote, this is a lynching in every sense. And if theres one word Lindsey Graham shouldnt be using its sense. [ laughter ] thats right early this morning President Trump tweeted about congress ongoing impeachment inquiry. He wrote, all republicans must remember what they are witnessing here, a lynching. Now, the complex issue surrounding a white person using the term lynching is not something im comfortable talking about. But i am [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause oh, donald trump, you raggedy bastard. Youre not being lynched you know how i know . Because people who are being lynched dont sit in a mansion tweeting about bull[ bleep ] [ laughter ] look, the reason youre comfortable comparing your situation to a lynching is because you value black people so lit
His lawyers has been really busy causing the impeachment hearings [ laughter ] President Trump on friday called for an Environmental Review of bathroom fixtures [ light laughter ] and claimed that, quote, people are flushing toilets 10 times, 15 times as opposed to once. [ light laughter ] huh . Apparently its harder than i thought to get rid of a wedding ring [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause Time Magazine has released its list of finalists for person of the year, which includes President Trumps personal attorney Rudy Guiliani though im pretty sure he hasnt been a person since 1649 [ laughter and applause a team of three men announced last week they have set a new Cross Country speed record driving from manhattan to los angeles in 28 hours. How did you get from new york to l. A. That fast . Said spirit airlines. [ laughter and applause an arizona man recently registered a swarm of bees as emotional support animals. [ light laughter ] and so far theyre doing a great job. [ laughter an
[ light laughter ] President Trump met with the russian minister of Foreign Affairs on the same day hes being impeached. That is brazen naming it the missing wife. [ laughter ] wheel of fortune sidekick vanna white this week started a threeweek run as fillin host and let me tell you, it is chaos in the nursing home. [ light laughter ] what is she doing wheres pat . [ light laughter ] President Trumps campaign has released a line of lgbtq pride themed merchandise and then mike pence squinted so hard, his eyes healed over kfc announced last week that it will begin selling a fireplace log that smells like fried chicken. [ audience ohs ] [ light laughter ] perfect if youve ever wondered what your dog would look like on fire [ laughter and applause according to a new report, liam was the most popular baby name for boys this year tied for last, lev and igor. [ light laughter ] a man in asia recently proposed to a silicone sex doll but if you ask me, hes just using her. [ light laughter ] a n