Transcripts For KNTV Late Night With Seth Meyers 20240713

Make a wish, hanukkah. Thats right, President Trump hosted a hanukkah reception at the white house. Its his favorite holiday because no matter how hard he tries, he cant misspell it. [ laughter ] in a new interview, House Speaker nancy pelosi said that she never watched President Trump on the apprentice, and then trump said he never watched her on golden girls. [ light laughter ] you were blanche, right . According to reports, Rudy Giuliani has reached a divorce settlement with his third wife they opted for divorce after she realized he was difficult to live with, and he realized she didnt have any dirt on joe biden. [ laughter ] according to reports, during a hunting trip to mongolia earlier this year, donald trump jr. Killed an endangered sheep even worse, he bored it to death by reading from his book [ laughter ] Time Magazine has announced that teenage climate activist Greta Thunberg is its 2019 person of the year when asked what she thought about time, thunberg said, we probably have about five, six years left. [ laughter ] a new study has found that a persons narcissistic qualities decline over time, which is weird cause theres like ten 70yearolds who think they should be president. [ light laughter ] middle School Students in florida were forced to evacuate a school bus on monday after a student sprayed an excessive amount of axe body spray as a prank. And then, authorities did the only thing they could [ laughter and applause and finally, researchers have found that plants can emit an ultrasonic scream when theyre stressed out or in pain. But i dont think its always the plant screaming. [ laughter ] ladies and gentlemen, we have a fantastic show for you tonight [ cheers and applause hes a fantastic comedian and actor who you can see in jumanji the next level, in theaters and imax this friday. Jack black is here, everybody. [ cheers and applause and he is the host of the beat with ari melber on msnbc. Ari melber is back on the show [ cheers and applause so its a great night to be here before we get to our guests, the president called the charges against him impeachment light as one of his main conspiracy theories about the fbi was officially debunked. For more on this, its time for a closer look. [ cheers and applause seth yesterday, the house unveiled articles of impeachment against a president for only the fourth time in history now, if you were worried about getting fired and you were trying to prove that you were, in fact, qualified for your job, you might decide to try to behave like a normal, sane person instead, trump decided to go to pennsylvania last night for one of his deranged rallies and do his usual routine of slurring like a lunatic while throwing in some of his trademark sexism the president of ukraine repeatedly declared that there was no pressure, but he didnt want to say that we said, say it say it, you crooked bastard. Say it. Youd have windmills all over the place if you had crooked hillary. Theyd be knocking out those birds left and right those windmills. Wah, wah, wah. Beto beto [ audience booing remember so, he wanted to get rid of religion the bible. Crazy Elizabeth Warren i give her credit. I thought she was left for i mean, there were like, just little embers. And then, she rose she rose then she became strong but then, she opened that fresh mouth of hers and it stopped seth she opened her fresh mouth . You sound like the headmaster of a private School Called saint Misogynist Academy [ laughter ] Elizabeth Warren has detailed plans for things people actuallycare about, like corruption and equality and Climate Change. Your energy plan is that windmills sound like wah, wah [ laughter ] wah. Trump is obviously rattled by the fact that he is about to become the third president ever in history to be impeached no matter what happens next, trumps name will be emblazoned in history as one of only three president s to be impeached, and that will follow him forever theyre going to have to put an asterisk next to trumps name on his building with a footnote below it that says impeached. [ laughter ] now [ cheers and applause House Democrats decided to exercise restraint and file only two articles of impeachment against trump, despite the fact that they could have filed many more i mean, this guy obstructed justice, solicited a bribe, and was literally identified as individual one in a court filing involving an illegal scheme to pay hush money to cover up an affair and we know individual one was trump because the document also said, individual one began an ultimately Successful Campaign for president of the united states. [ laughter ] that was in a court filing i mean, think about how crazy that is. Thats never happened before its not like Abraham Lincoln was ever named in an indictment as honest man in very large hat number one. [ laughter ] and yet trump yesterday actually taunted democrats for not filing even more charges against him by mocking how limited the articles of impeachment were. You saw their socalled articles of impeachment today . People are saying theyre not even a crime what happened . All of these horrible things, remember bribery, and this and that where are they they sand these two things, theyre not even a crime this is the lightest, weakest impeachment you know, our countrys has had actually many impeachments youd call judges and lots of other many impeachments. But it was on today, everybody said, this is impeachment light. [ laughter ] this is the lightest impeachment in the history of our country by far. Seth youre either impeached or youre not. [ laughter ] theres no light version trumps like a drunk guy at a bar on his sixth beer going, its impeachment light. Now give me my keys. [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause trump needs he desperately needs these Group Therapy sessions with his fawning admirers so he can lie to himself and soothe his ego for example, he also made this ludicrous statement about how the world has reacted to his presidency this country is so respected and we were not respected four years ago. We were laughed at [ cheers ] seth dude, it was literally last week that a bunch of World Leaders were caught laughing at you [ laughter ] in a group chat during the nato summit, including your buddy, Boris Johnson. And if youre getting laughed at by this guy, you know you are an idiot. Boris johnson would be the worlds donald trump if there wasnt already an actual donald trump [ laughter ] Boris Johnson must be so happy donald trump exists. Its like in middle school, when the chess nerd finds out the school has a larping nerd. Hes like, im of in fact, today in the uk, johnson dodged questions from reporters during a Campaign Stop at a dairy farm, by literally hiding in a freezer. Mr. Johnson, while you have five minutes, youre live on good morning britain. Could you talk to piers and susanna for me ill be with you in a second. Ill be with you in a second yeah, i have an earpiece hear in my hands, ready to go [ light laughter ] right, hes been taken inside. Into the freezer hes gone into the fridge seth he hid in a freezer although, its hard to tell with him because he always looks like he was just locked in a freezer. [ laughter ] i mean, if you put trumps hair on jack from the shining, you would get Boris Johnson. That is how that looks so as usual, trumps rally was totally detached from reality. In fact, trump went to such lengths to soothe his ego in the face of a historic political reckoning that at one point, he literally gave himself credit for saving peoples marriages with an obviously madeup story about how happy people are about their 401 k s. I have so many people that come up to me thank you, sir. My wife is so in love with me because i went up 79 in the 401 k she thinks im a genius. She always thought i was a total stiff. A dumb, stupid, dope now, she thinks im a financial genius, sir. [ laughter ] seth first of all, if your spouse thought you were a dumb, stupid dope until your 401 k went up, your marriage still has problems [ laughter ] i do wonder where trump got the idea that wives only love their husbands if they have a lot of money. I guess well never know [ laughter ] now you might recall that since virtually the start of his presidency, trump has harbored a deranged Conspiracy Theory that there was a secret cell of treasonous, deep state saboteurs within the government trying to take him down. You know, like an Insane Person . He is one step away from claiming his aides are actually secret lizard people, when we know for a fact, theyre obvious lizard people. [ light laughter ] why else would stephen millers eyes blink sideways . [ laughter ] trump has continued to repeat this Conspiracy Theory even though its already been debunked, including by an inspectorgenerals report on monday and by the inspectorgeneral himself at a hearing today. Now you might remember that this whole insane Conspiracy Theory started when trump tweeted this out of nowhere a few months into his presidency terrible. Just found out that obama had my wires tapped in trump tower just before the victory. And then, how low has president obama gone to tap my phones during the very sacred election process. This is nixon watergate. Bad or sick guy. [ laughter ] that was march of 2017, remember when we thought that was the craziest thing a president ever said [ light laughter ] we were so young [ laughter ] also, i love trumps parentheticals bad or sick guy. Its like a choose your own adventure book for insane people [ laughter ] if you think obama was good, turn to page 10. If you think he was bad, turn to page 27. And if you think hes sick, id like to offer you secretary of agriculture. [ laughter ] trumps about to face a historic political reckoning for a simple reason he abused his power, he tried to cover it up, and he got caught and now, his only move is to spin dark fantasies of subterfuge and paranoia to scare his base and keep them in line but sometimes, he even undercuts himself. At the rally yesterday, for example, he told his fawning admirers that democrats were trying to overthrow the government, simply by following the impeachment procedures laid out in the constitution. But in the next breath, he told them it wasnt that big of a deal the radical left democrats and the failed washington establishment are trying to erase your votes, nullify the election, and overthrow our democracy. Not going to happen. Dont worry about it i wouldnt lose too much sleep over it. Seth if were not supposed to worry about it, why are you telling us hes like a dad at a campfire who realizes his spooky stories are scaring the kids so he pulls back they say these woods are haunted by a killer in a hockey mask who waits for little children to go to bed so he can chop up their bodies but now that i think about it, he was arrested and hes in prison so [ laughter ] you know, its fine. Just forget daddy said that part dont tell mommy i said that part. It turns out, of course, that the Conspiracy Theory was insane and onmonday became official when the Justice Department Inspector General released his findings it said that while there were serious errors with parts of the russia investigation, it was both valid and justified the only thing republicans have been able to hang their hat on is the fact that two fbi agents sent Text Messages to each other disparaging trump. Even though there were also fbi employees who sent protrump and antihillary messages. And yet at the hearing today, gop senator Lindsey Graham selectively read the antitrump messages out loud for everybody to hear. February the 12th, 2016 oh, hes trump abysmal. March 3rd, 2016. Paige, god, trump is a loathsome human. Strzok, oh, my god, hes an idiot. March 16th, 2016 i cannot believe donald trump is likely to be actual serious candidate for president. July 16th. Were getting closer to when this thing opens and wow, donald trump is an enormous douche. [ laughter ] again, a lot of people agree with that. Seth those messages dont prove anything you cant go anywhere in the World Without hearing opinions about trump. Im pretty sure there are people stranded on deserted islands in the Bermuda Triangle putting rocks together that say, trump is a douche. [ laughter ] think about how weak the president s position is. Hes been reduced to arguing that being impeached isnt that bad because its impeachment light, and now his key Conspiracy Theory claiming the whole thing was a hoax has been officially debunked by the Justice Department inspectorgeneral. At this point, the only way things could get worse for trump is if the house passed a third article of impeachment calling trump an enormous douche. [ laughter ] seth this has been a closer look. [ cheers and applause well be right back with jack black, everybody. [ cheers and applause announcer for more of seths closer looks, be sure to subscribe to late night on youtube. 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Alika . little santa wheres kiara . little santa i got this for you. vo when you grant a childs wish, you change lives. vo you can choose makeawish to get two hundred and fifty dollars from subaru when you get a new subaru. vo 2 get 0. 9 during the subaru share the love event. [ cheers and applause seth welcome back, everybody. Give it up for the 8g band right over there [ cheers and applause joining us again tonight on drums, hes a member of heavy rock duo, big business, the murder city devils and also played with rock icons the melvins. Check out the latest release from big business, the beast you are. Coady willis is here, everybody. Thank you so much coady. [ cheers and applause our first guest tonight is a talented actor and grammy awardwinning musician you know from such films as school of rock, and kung fu panada and the band tenacious d he stars in jumanji the next level, which opens in theaters and imax friday. Lets take a look. This is a dangerous place crazy dangerous, but martha and i, weve been here before. We know what were doing you got to stay alert all the time if im near water, i got one eye on the water you hear me . Youve got to have eyes in the back of your [ scream ] oh, god what in the sam hell just happened to him . [ scream ] seth please welcome back to the show, the one, the only, jack black, everybody. [ cheers and applause [ cheers and applause [ cheers and applause [ cheers and applause [ cheers and applause thank you seth whoo thank you seth nobody oh seth nobody makes an entrance, like jack black. You okay, bro . I had and i did a [ laughter ] i was going to rock with the band [ laughter ] to kill some time cause i dont have anything to say seth yeah. [ laughter ] i was like, dont worry lets just rock with the band, sing about seth meyers and i didnt have a mic though seth yeah. [ laughter ] i got over there and i just started singing. Could you hear any of the lyrics seth no, we didnt hear anything [ laughter ] were they some pretty were they pretty seth meyers hes not a lia seth see, these are really good lyrics. Something and man is on fire [ laughter ] oh seth you just didnt think it through you left out some of the details before you got into it i miss you, man how have you been . Seth ive been really good [ laughter ] i miss you its always great to see you youre crushing it out here i love your work [ laughter ] seth let me give you let me let you take a little bit of a breather just to show that this is not something this is not just a onetime thing. This is the premiere of jumanji and you brought it for that red carpet as well. I do. [ cheers ] seth this is a man who is getting a lot of height, in front of the rock no less. Look at that [ laughter ] its true seth you had some rest time. You found some time for yourself, so i did [ laughter ] i took a little breather seth are you when you go that hard, you have to take a breather. Seth you have to take a breather [ laughter ] your children we were talking backstage. Yeah. Seth you got a decade on me with your kids theyre 13 and 11 and where they psyched . Did you bring them did they like the premiere will i be out of breath all the way through this segment is the question [ laughter ] seth yeah. Will i catch my breath before we cut to commercial [ laughter ] and the answer, im afraid, is no [ laughter ] seth youre seth meyers hes not a lia oh mama mama my back on fir [ cheers and applause i didnt work out thank you. I didnt work out the second half of that stanza. Seth yeah. Something, something. Seth you put four you need you need, like a fourth rhyme what were we talking about, my boys . Seth yeah, your boys [ laughter ] were they a fan . Did they, like are they proud to see their dad on the big screen they are fans, but they are reluctant fans seth okay. Theyre at that age, 11 and 13, where theyre like, everything i say and do is but, i think thats natural. Seth yeah, but it must be hard because i think a lot of dads, like never were cool yeah. Seth you were cool [ laughter ] like, it must be hard for them do you feel, like they dont fully understand i know that they love me. Seth yeah. Underneath their teenage angst. [ laughter ] seth right and they did have a blast at the premiere seth uhhuh. Good [ laughter ] and my boy my oldest boy, sammy, said, im going to review this movie. He reviews a lot of movies and he puts them on his instagram. Seth okay. And i said, sammy, you do not have to review im in it. Its gonna be weird if you review a movie your dads in. Hes, like no, no, i really liked it im going to give it an 8. 5. Seth wow and i was like, thats certified fresh. Seth thats not bad, yeah. [ laughter ] but i was like, if youre gonna review my movie, cant we get it up to a nine . [ laughter ] a 9. 2 . Seth does he get nines are there a lot of nines oh yeah, joker got a ten. Seth oh, so thats rough and i know what youre thinking, how could you let your 13 yearold see joker thats bad parenting and i say, it was genius. It was i enjoyed it and my boy loved it sometimes i do the wrong thing seth yeah. [ laughter ] and you dont beat yourself up for it i do beat myself up for it. Seth yeah. Parenting is hard youre always wondering if youre blowing it. Seth yeah, did you when you walked out of joker after it was over, did you have a moment of, like maybe lets not let mom know about joker [ laughter ] there was a moment during the movie and those who saw it probably know which part im talking about where i was like, i hope that tanya never sees this movie [ laughter ] and sees what ive exposed my yeah, cause theres definitely possible trauma that could take place. [ light laughter ] seth yeah. If you take a kid to that movie, but seth you got to take your kids because of filming jumanji, you got to take them to hawaii, yeah . Yeah. Seth did they enjoy that did they have a good time . Yes, the boys had a blast well, you know, the new jumanji, we got a lot of locales. Seth yep in the first one it was all jungle and it was in hawaii. We shot in the jungles of hawaii seth yeah. You dont think of jungle when you think hawaii, but in the center of the island, there was a lot of jungley places and [ laughter ] and so, they could have come to any of the locations cause we went snow this time in canada. We went to the desert dunes in new mexico, but they wanted to come to hawaii and we partied at the theres, like some water slides at this one oh, who cares . [ laughter ] [ applause ] i got tired in the middle of that story seth you lost it you started thinking about how sweet it must have been to be on a water slide. You dont have to talk at all. Youre just on a sweet tube, letting gravity do the work. Just go crazy with the scissors later and just edit this into one streamlined segment. Seth yeah. [ laughter ] just where youre just like popping from story to story. Hey you just tenacious d. Im a huge fan of the d. Yeah. Yeah, we do have some love in europe we played in england we played two nights at wembley not the stadium in the smaller one arena, still seth okay, thats still pretty good seth yeah. [ cheers and applause and yeah, were getting ready to go back to europe in february seth you did jack white just produced a d song yes seth how was that . That was exciting because we were going across america and we had a show coming up in nashville, which happens to be jack white headquarters now. Seth yep and he sent us a message saying, hey, if youre coming through nashville, do you want to come to record a song at my studio . And we were, like hell yeah, we want to party with jack white. And we were freaking out though cause we were, like what are we going to play . Lets write a song about how freaked out we are about rocking with jack white. Seth yeah. [ light laughter ] so, its like a song about anxiety called, dont blow it, kage. [ laughter ] its available on itunes [ laughter ] were very pro seth and did you feel good once you got in the room it was a good it was a good vibe being there with jack it was surreal. I highly recommend it. If you get a chance to party with jack white. [ laughter ] seth yeah, in nashville, no less yeah. Seth do you remember the first song you ever wrote when you were a youngin god, yeah you know, the first song was a song well, we were trying to write the best song in the world. It was me and kyle we were sitting down and just thinking, what can be the there was something about the greatest and the best. It was very seth i think its really amazing, the way you guys decided to start [ light laughter ] yeah. Seth was by writing the best song in the world. [ laughter ] well, we and we tried. We tried for months. Seth yeah. Lots of stoney sessions on the stoney stone couch [ laughter ] and then we realized we cant. Its impossible. [ laughter ] lets just write lets write a tribute to the greatest song in the world and thats what seth yeah, make it very clear. [ applause ] yeah. Seth you made it very clear. Thank you seth this is not thats right. Seth this is not the best song in the world. And weirdly, its still the best song weve ever written [ laughter ] seth thats so right out of the gate we hit it so hard. It was hard to top seth yeah, thats i mean thats like a blessi yeah. Seth that you hit youre best one ever and then you just chase it i hear heroin is very similar to that, yeah [ laughter ] yeah [ laughter ] no comment. [ laughter ] seth well, we were talking backstage, when you one of the times you hosted snl, you were in the film king kong. Yeah. Seth Peter Jackson movie, king kong, and your monologue at snl was a song a rock song about king kong. Yeah. Seth that the premise being that you had wanted it to be the theme song of the film and now my son his grandfather told him about king kong and Empire State Building oh. Seth and now, my son i played him that song and so, now he actually thinks thats genuinely a king kong song [ laughter ] which is basically thats awesome. King kong where did we go wron seth thats all. [ laughter ] fighting the vietcong king kon [ laughter ] yeah, i had a blast snl, man seth yeah, we had some good times. Good times. Yeah seth we had some very good times there. You [ laughter ] Steve Higgins seth Steve Higgins wrote that, yeah Steve Higgins helped cowrite that seth he helped you write that out yes seth jeff richman. There were some good people involved in that song. Yeah. Seth you i know that youre a little bit of a you like to stay informed on the news, but like a lot of people, maybe its a little bit too much right now. Its so much. I mean, yeah, like most people, i tuned into nbc my watching of that channel, like went up significantly when the new administration took over, and it felt like the end of the world was happening and i wanted to watch the collapse seth yeah. With Rachel Maddow and everybody on the channel then, it started to get longer, and longer and i started watching from noon until literally 8 00 p. M. , this power block of nbc [ light laughter ] and now, when i turned it on with these impeachment hearings, i get so depressed with these, like these ferocious republican, like lap dogs, just defending the president. That, theyre so good at it. Theyre like, you know, these lawyers with knives and our guys are like trying to play by the rules still. Im like, get your knives out [ laughter ] lets fight dirty theyre fighting dirty [ laughter ] [ applause ] seth and so and so, now i just seth you found peace though. Now, i just turn the channel and i just watch the price is right. Seth yeah. [ laughter ] and you find that, that zens you out . [ laughter ] because but you its so essential to let the steam out and find the humor in the situation cause sometimes im starring at it and i just feel like this dooms day scenario its like a post apocalyptic universe were hurtling towards and then ill turn into seth meyers, and ill be like, yes. [ laughter ] seth oh, thats very kind to hear [ laughter ] find that kernel, that nugget of comic wisdom. Seth i feel the same way about when i sit down with my family to watch jumanji. [ laughter ] oh yeah [ laughter ] seth i know ill be safe the worst thing that will happen is a snake will eat my friend, jack black [ laughter ] but, then he will be spit out and he will be fine. Come, take me, snake. [ laughter ] seth thank you so much i love you. Seth thank you so much for everything love you, too. Great to see you. Seth thankso for being here. Jack black, jumanji the next level in theaters and imax friday well be right back with more late night. [ cheers and applause [i feel love by sam smith] start saving with target holideals save 10 when you spend 50. Or save 25 when you spend 100 on toys and games. This week only. New holideals arrive all season long. Only at target. Steyer im about to say two words that will make washington insiders very uncomfortable term limits. You and i both know we need term limits, that congress shouldnt be a lifetime appointment. But members of congress, and the corporations whove bought our democracy hate term limits. Too bad. Im tom steyer and i approve this message because the only way we get universal healthcare address Climate Change and make our economy more fair is to change business as usual in washington. 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At this point in the broadcast, seth launched into a 60second obscenity laden tirade about pennies and how they are a useless type of Currency Network policy prevents us from broadcasting his comments, but due to a technical issue, we were forced to air this portion of the show. In short, seth believes pennies are just shiny orange trash and the only thing theyre good for is scraping gum off his shoes. He went on to say, pennies cost more to make than theyre actually worth, much like my potato dolls. He then proceeded to pull out two small potato dolls and place them neatly on his desk. [ light laughter ] he identified them as beatrice and buxbaum. He said they were to be treated as his children. Seth then said, if youre going to give me a penny for my thoughts, im only going to give you a thought thats worth a penny. For example, i think grapes are jealous of raisins for their skinny bodies and effortless california vibe. He then took aim at the take a penny, leave a penny tray. Saying, if were taking and leaving things arbitrarily, why not take a sandwich, leave a soda take a sweater, leave a shoe take a rolex, leave a fish. At which point a man in the audience replied, someone took my rolex earlier today was it you . To which a guiltylooking seth said, i would never. To which the man replied, then why am i wearing this fish around my wrist. To which seth said, maybe its one of those fish that tells time. At which point the man asked the fish, do you tell time . At which point the fish replied, hey, its 5 00 somewhere, baby. To which seth and the man both heartily agreed and then proceeded to crack open a couple of tallboys. [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause he then pulled out different coins and began voicing controversial opinions about them of the quarter, he said, too big and too fat. Get your ass to the gym and well talk of the dime, smaller than a penny but worth tentimes more dude must have a huge dong [ laughter ] he then lifted up a nickel and said, nickel is perfect nickel is all. He then kissed the nickel and asked the audience not to tell his wife seth then declared that picking up pennies wasnt actually good luck adding, just look how it turned out for abe lincoln. Dude is on the penny and he got shot in the head by some incel in a theater. At which point the real live Abraham Lincoln approached the desk and said, actually the bullet went in one ear and out the other. Im fine. To which seth replied, oh, my god, im so glad youre alive. Seth then asked lincoln why he always wore such a tall hat. Lincoln said, where do you think i keep my snacks . You have snacks in there, said seth why dont you find out for yourself said Lincoln Lincoln then took off the hat and invited seth to reach inside which he did but then pulled his hand back quickly saying, something in there bit me. At which point abe lincoln simply began laughing loudly and maniacally at this point, one of the shows stagehands, kenny coyle, called his wife and said, honey, remember that dream ive been having, it just happened in real life. Nbc would like to ask viewers to disregard seths opinions about pennies as they do not reflect the Networks Position and do not make any sense we now resume our broadcast. Seth because a penny saved is a penny that can kiss my ass. Whoo that felt good to get off my chest. [ cheers and applause up top abe lincoln well be right back with ari melber and keep the change you filthy animal. [ cheers and applause apple card. 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Tax fairness where the wealthy pay their fair share. Education. Affordable college and high skill Vocational Training so people can succeed in the new economy. Economic security. Lower Cost Health Care and affordable middleclass housing. Proven leadership on jobs. To build an economy where people dont just get by they get ahead. Im Mike Bloomberg and i approve this message. [ cheers and applause our next guest is an Emmy Awardwinning journalist and msnbcs chief legal correspondent. He hosts the beat, weekdays at 6 00pm, on msnbc and a new episode of his special, impeachment white house in crisis airs sundays at 9 00 p. M please welcome back to the show, ari melber, everyone [ cheers and applause seth oh my goodness. Thanks for coming. Youve had a very long day you did five hours earlier in the day, talking about this ig report and the hearings that were happening in front of the senate and then you just finished your own show so thank you so much for making the time glad to be on your show seth do you does it say a lot about the era were living in that this much attention is being paid to an inspectorgenerals report yes this is basically the audit that no one would usually read. Seth yeah. And it was walltowall coverage seth walltowall coverage and what we saw today was a lot of the republican senators were very critical of the way the fbi handled this investigation of donald trump, the leadup to the investigation. And yet these same republicans dont seem that concerned with what happened in ukraine as a lawyer, how have you felt watching their shifting explanations of the president s behavior this is why its such a weird time republicans want to rehash 2016, while donald trump openly asked for foreign help with 2020 so the president went from no collusion to procollusion, which is not usually what you do when you get out of the first jam. Seth yeah. But this is what hes like. So, were in this splitscreen world where one side wants to really distract and focus on the past the other is saying, you have to have accountability if someones trying to cheat in the next election seth and it did seem like before ukraine happened, the republicans would probably have accused democrats of living in the past and trying to litigate what had happened with russia and how they had interfered in the election so it seems like russia im sorry, it seems like ukraine was what finally made republicans be like, you know what, we do want to talk about 2016. I think ukraine scrambled everything and donald trump admitted in public to what he had been denying for so long, that Speaker Pelosi and democrats who had been holding back said they had to go forward. And republicans were caught saying, well we dont really want to spend time defending this so lets talk about anything else if youve had a fight with someone, say a loved one seth sure. And if you dont like the ground youre on, you kind of go back to old fights seth yeah, yeah, yeah. And sometimes thats a strategy seth yeah, its not bad. Who do you think do you think that donald trump is a worse client or Rudy Giuliani is a worse lawyer [ laughter ] thats a great question seth i mean because you mention, you know donald trump has admitted to what he is now being impeached for, right whereas Rudy Giuliani doesnt seem to be good. [ laughter ] Rudy Giuliani is so bad at his job that what Speaker Pelosi and bob mueller couldnt pull off, Rudy Giuliani is pulling off. Seth yeah. Which is getting donald trump impeached. Seth its amazing, right its amazing do you think hes still Donald Trumps lawyer because hes more dangerous sort of out of the nest or do you think that hes just the last lawyer that will work for him . [ light laughter ] look, donald trump has a very recent exlawyer in prison seth yeah. Rudy giuliani is under investigation by the federal office in new york he used to run. There is a lot of problems with Donald Trumps lawyers and this was the same problem in watergate. It was the white House Counsel that everyone remembers, john dean, who was the lawyer. Because the lawyers end up knowing the things that almost no one else is allowed to know so think about how much donald trump confesses in public the lawyers know the stuff he hasnt even confessed to yet seth thats amazing. [ light laughter ] the very fact there might be more so obviously, we have two articles of impeachment, right and there has been a lot of talk about is this too narrow nancy pelosi, basically, from the beginning not from the very beginning, but once they decided to move forward with impeachment was like, hey, were going keep it narrow were gonna make it about ukraine. Do you think that calculation makes sense or are you surprised that theres not more on the table . If you think he did other impeachable things and youre impeaching him, now is the time to list all the things seth right so going this narrow is a gamble that doesnt necessarily look like youre being substantive. But the constitution wants, and requires you to be substantive second, everyone understands whether you follow this stuff closely or not, impeachment is a big deal so you cant do the big thing in a small way. You cant throw your Biggest Party ever and then be like, were going to keep the music real low tonight seth yeah. And so, i do think they risk that problem and ultimately, if you think donald trump obstructed justice the way nixon did towards mueller, how do you not include that seth and one of the things about donald trump is he has historically, because he has had a lot of legal troubles over the years, he likes to settle out of court, right i mean i think people have already kind of forgot that right after he was elected he settled a fraud suit about his university, which was a theres a term a bull [ bleep ] university. And then he just settled he just paid 2 million because of a charity of his that misused funds. Do you think its frustrating for him right now that this is a trial that he cannot settle out of court you mentioned Trump University everyone remembers Trump University was a business that gave Business Advice that went out of business seth yeah. [ light laughter ] very trump. Seth yeah, yeah. A lot of his businesses are actually just fables and and he ran for president saying, ill never settle that case and as you point out seth, when he won the Electoral College and was actually preparing to become president , he did settle it. Donald trump has been running from his day in court his whole life seth yeah. Whether it was serious stuff, like Racial Discrimination suits, to Trump University, to other suits. Hes always running and settling and doesnt want to be held accountable in court its kind of amazing that by ending up winning the election and then doing all this stuff, he now stands about to have the public trial hes always been trying to evade. And thats why even for people who say, where is this all going to go and what does it matter if he ultimately is not removed from office . Its a huge moment of accountability for america, for the congress to say, no, youre now on trial were going to deal with the evidence and the public to decide what they think of that and donald trump is going to live his nightmare on Live Television seth a lot of people have said, look, this does not rise to the impeachment standards of high crimes and misdemeanors and we keep hearing this term, high crimes and misdemeanors and obviously look, its in the constitution but what does that mean . Because obviously some people say it is a high crime and misdemeanor and other people say it isnt what is that term . Because it seems almost purposely vague. This is the wild part we all are going to law School Together now and so most people never have to think about what does high crime mean high doesnt mean high in altitude it doesnt mean high on good colorado pot seth yeah right. Sure, sure, sure cause most of those those are legal now. So theyre not even a crimes right yeah right thats not yeah, thats a low crime, if it is any, depends on the state. But thats what high means to most people. What the founders meant when they said high crime was a high office a crime that involves the of abuse of office or power and thats really important because we talked about, well what if you commit a felony . You know, theres a lot of stupid felonies, seth. Its a felony to put graffiti on a mailbox. Thats actually a federal felony any president could do that and not be impeached for it. Crime. High crime, abuse office, say hey you dont get this money unless you help me get reelected or go after my rivals, thats abusing of the office and the constitution has a really smart point here. Which is, if you didnt have severe punishment for that, and you have all these high powers, who wouldnt ambitiously start to use them either to hold on to power. Thats pretty common, or to make money. I mean, if you could auction off pardons, you could make a lot of money in office. So they put this in. No bribery, no treason, no high crimes seth i am always taken with one i think everybody who watches your show would know youre a huge fan of hiphop and you obviously have a show that talks about politics. But you really brought together your two worlds recently and i believe this is the first time these two gentlemen have appeared together on television. Bill kristol, conservative columnist, and fat joe [ light laughter ] amd they were on your show at the same time. And they look good together seth they look really good together they look like they should have their own show was it fat joe was this an observation you made or something you heard from fat joe, that hiphop has abandoned donald trump and for a long time, donald trump was spoken well of in hiphop lyrics. Donald trump was cited in more hiphop songs than any other living person. And hip hop obviously has had this evolving relationship with him. He used to go on 50 cents gunit radio seth really . Like he used to really hang, yeah but he was kind of a reality show joke back then in a way seth sure. Who wanted to get any media appearance he could as everyone remembers. Hiphops turned on him. Fat joe is really interested in politics and policy. Bill kristol is a former bush neocon bringing them together is not something we thought we would do on day one of the tv show, but i think its great and joe told us, that when hes down in miami people come up to him and they go, wheres bill kristol i saw you guys together on the beat. So we love that. Seth there you go. And hopefully well sort of seeing them out to dinner just enjoying themselves ill bring them here, if you want seth there you go, next time thanks so much for being here, ari. Thank you seth i really appreciate it. [ cheers and applause ari melber, the beat weekdays at 6 00 p. M. On msnbc. Well be right back. [ cheers and applause at hertz, we know that a change of scenery shouldnt mean a change in standards. Thats why thanks to you were rated number one in Customer Satisfaction by j. D. Power. [ dramatic music ] this holiday. Ahhhhh ahhhhh a distant friend returns. Elliott. You came back and while lots of things have changed. Wooooah woah its called the internet. Some things havent. Get ready for a reunion 3 million light years in the making. Woohoo yeah kerrygold has a taste so rich it can take you to irelands lush, green pastures. Where grassfed cows produce rich, creamy milk for a truly delicious taste. Kerrygold. The taste that takes you there. [ cheers and applause seth my thanks to jack black, ari melber, coady willis, and of course the 8g band. Stay tuned for lilly singh. Well see you tomorrow [ cheers and applause announcer tonight on a little late with lilly singh im going to fix the recently cancelled victorias secret fashion show shes also wearing a night guard so she can literally say not going to happen lilly and im going to sit down and talk to the very first egot winner to also be the sexiest man alive. John legend. [ cheers and applause hey cal and calvin well be right back in one minute follow u