New york city to your couch somewhere in the world, this is the daily social distancing show with Trevor Noah Trevor today marks exactly seven months since march 15th. That was the day when i first started doing this show from my apartment, and im not going to lie i did not think we would still be here in october. Aaahhh i hope somebodys been going to office to water my puppy. Sad truth is, the Global Pandemic is not only still with us but in many places are getting worse. Cases are rising so fast in europe paris imposed a curfew from 9 00 a. M. To 6 00 p. M. , which means frenchmen will have no time to see their secret families. Things arent looking at that great in america either where were seeing the start of a third wave which is really concerning. You never want to shout corona would be at the next board meeting. Could we stop calling it a wave . That sounds relaxing. Doesnt sound severe enough. How about a third tsunami, monsoon, bitch slap of corona . On a hopeful note, it is go
Wait a second, all my results are child porn . I dont want this, undo, undo, i didnt ask for this. Oh no. Now i have to arrest myself and honestly i get where google is coming from, man. Like i tried using yahoo search the other day and even yahoo was like i dont know, hold on, let me google t that is a tough one. But to be fair, this is what monopolies do. They get rid of all their other petition competition and then say theyre the best which is technically true but also it is partly because of their action strks like if i guy named greg set up the dating app where the only option was greg. How about greg. No, i want to see some one else, swipe left. Okay k i interest you in greg. No. What about greg . Okay, i guess i will take greg . Fine choice m lady. Staying in the world of tech, last night alexandria ocasiocortez, new york congresswoman and supreme villain of your uncles facebook feed decided to pick up her controller to own the noobs and get out the gamer vote. Alexandria ocasio
Fart, but is actually silent but deadly. Mike pence is refusing to stand behind plexiglass at his debate with Kamala Harris tomorrow. Blows my mind. Forget plexiglass. After what weve seen at the white house this week the only place pence should be allowed to debate is inside an aquarium made of purelle. But we cant talk about those stories today because donald trump is back at the white house. Yep. He did that thing that tough guys do in the movies where they tear the i. V. Out of the army and say, im checking myself out of this hospital then he very carefully walk down the steps to his car. Look how he pats the banister like a puppy. Needs to reassure himself its there just in case. This covid thing is a rale dilemma for President Trump because sick man leaves hospital to continue to get roundtheclock medical attention at home is not exactly a flattering story, but sick man kicks virus ass and can never get sick again, thats a good story. I just left Walter Reed Medical Center and i
Steve from 30 Rockefeller Center in the heart of new york city, its the tonight show starring jimmy fallon. Tonight join jimmy and his guests Kevin Hart Josh charles musical guest chika, and the legendary roots crew and now, heres your host, Jimmy Fallon Jimmy thank you very much. Thank you very much for watching the tonight show everybody. I appreciate it. Im jimmy fallon lets get to the news and jokes. Well, guys bob woodward has a new book coming out about the president and one story is making major headlines today. Turns out trump knew way back in early february how bad the coronavirus was, but he continued to downplay it to the american people. And woodwards got it on tape because trump let him record their conversations. Check this out heres trump in mid march. I wanted to always play it down i still like playing it down yes because i dont want to create a panic jimmy yeah, i remember americans not panicking when they spent thousands for a roll of toilet paper on ebay. [ laughter
With trevor noah. Trevor lets kick things off with google. The Search Engine that constantly is trying to finish your no no no, your sentences. Its dominance has raised concerns in the Justice Department for years. And now theyre finally doing something about it. Now to the blockbuster antitrust lawsuit against google tonight. The Justice Department accusing the tech giant of being a monopoly gatekeeper for the internet. They claim the tech giant has been engaging in anticompetitive tactics, paying phone manufacturers and Tech Companies billions to allow google to be their default Search Engine. Prosecutors alleging that ties were so deep a senior Apple Official wrote our vision is that we work as if we are one company. Today google responded saying the lawsuit is deeply flawed and would do nothing to help consumers. Google say this would only prop up lower quality Search Engines. Trevor yo google versus the u. S. Government, this is going to be huge, and honestly i dont know who is go