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Transcripts For KPIX The Late Show With Stephen Colbert 20240713

About the strike have been lies . 80 are dishonest, and i mean really dishonest. Stephen so, why didnt you Tell Congress about the strike . Can you imagine . They want us to call up and speak to crooked corrupt politician adam schiff. Oh, adam, we have somebody that we have been trying to get for a long time stephen oooh, oooh, oooh i love improv let me be schiff. Hello, this is adam schiff. What do you want now, mr. President . Could we meet . Stephen meet . Lets see hmm, today is not good. Im pretending to talk to the president. Lets do it in a couple of days. Stephen now pretend im lou dobbs and i say, lou, heres the problem stephen is the problem that youre president of the United States and youre getting advice from lou dobbs . laughter shifting gears. The Oscar Nominations came out this morning, sir. Can you believe that beyonce was snubbed for best original song . I just have such respect for the queen, i dont think this should be happening to her. laughter stephen yeah. Back to

Transcripts For KGO Jimmy Kimmel Live 20240713

The neighborhood which was a nice idea, clever idea, but as those of you who lined up on hollywood boulevard know, there has never been a beautiful anything in this neighborhood. [ laughter ] this neighborhood, this is where homeless spidermen gather to steal wallets from canadians. Thats what we do here. [ laughter ] a lot of the focus going into the show last night was on the lack of diversity. All the acting nominees but one were caucasian. And what do you do when you have a diversity problem . Well, you hit them with the worlds most famous white rapper, eminem. Thats what you do. [ laughter ] i actually learned a lot last night. For instance, that song from frozen 2, equally annoying in every language. [ laughter ] there were plenty of controversial moments. I think trump gained another 15 of the vote after those acceptance speeches last night. Bottom line, dont expect to see the joker doing a got milk commercial anytime soon. [ laughter ] the big winner last night was parasite. Th

Transcripts For KNTV Late Night With Seth Meyers 20240713

Managers in President Trumps impeachment trial. And i trust her judgment because that is a lady who has definitely spoken to some managers [ laughter ] following last nights debate, senator Elizabeth Warren appeared to turn down a handshake from senator Bernie Sanders also, a foot rub from joe biden. [ laughter ] bring em over here. Following last nights debate, mayor Pete Buttigieg told reporters that he believes he would be the quote boldest president weve had in a halfcentury. I dont know if youve been watching the news. But were were good on bold for a while. [ laughter ] if you want a winning slogan, how about, make the news boring again. [ cheers and applause give us a break. Were just asking for a break. President trump praised the Republican Party in a tweet last night. And it said it fights for, quote, citizens from every background, and from every race, religion, color and creed. And after he tweeted that, even his twitter avatar couldnt keep a straight face. [ light laughter

Transcripts For KGO Jimmy Kimmel Live 20240713

We will throw them by caucus. Were in whittle mode. Last night in New Hampshire, senator Bernie Sanders and Pete Buttigieg finished one and two. A very tight margin between them. That is turning out to be some matchup. An old jewish guy versus a young gay guy. Like an uncomfortable thanksgiving dinner. The media is eager to crown a winner, but the truth is, it takes like 2,000 delegates to win the nomination. Iowa and New Hampshire combined have 65, and neither state is demographically representative of anything but a Jimmy Buffett concert. Declaring a frontrunner at this point, its like picking a Plastic Surgeon via yelp reviews. Jennyp and the bigdave505 like him. But it was another disappointing night for joe biden who finished in fifth place and then had to hitchhike to South Carolina. Because hes not allowed to drive at night. But if you are, if you are joe biden, 77 years old, you lose New Hampshire to 78 year old Bernie Sanders, that has to feel like getting dumped by a woman an

Transcripts For KNTV Early Today 20240713

Good morning im phillip mena. And im cori coffin a judge has handed down the fate of roger stone, but will it stick, or will President Trump intervene . Longtime adviser and friend to the president was sentenced to just over three years behind bars for obstructing a and the oner is a movie from congressional investigation of south korea. What the hell was that all russias 2016 election meddling. The judge avoided any direct about . We got enough problems with references to the elephant in the room, if you will, south korea, with trade. Mr. Trumps frequent complaints on top of it they give them the that the prosecution of stone best movie of the year was unfair was it good . But the president has left the i dont know door open to a pardon. Thats our president. Doesnt seem very pleased with our Justice Department correspondent Pete Williams has more parasites history making win at the Academy Awards this year. Reporter 13 months after he President Trump went on to say was arrested by the

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