Transcripts For KNTV Late Night With Seth Meyers 20240714

Discuss a peace agreement. And if youre wondering where we are as a nation, my first thought was, i dont know, ill believe it when i hear it from the taliban. [ laughter ] the Washington Post has published a new article calling former Vice President joe biden and senator Elizabeth Warren frenemies. Even crazier, they referred to john delaney and Michael Bennett as candidates. [ laughter ] President Trump told reporters today that he would release a report on his finances before the 2020 election. And said that people will be shocked that the numbers are many, many times what you think. Okay, but anything times zero is zero [ laughter ] [ applause ] duchess Meghan Markle attended the u. S. Open this weekend to support her friend serena williams. Meanwhile, the queen went to the jets game. [ laughter ] a man on a mission to visit every starbucks in the world, last week visited his 15,000th location in peru what do you know, they finally spelled his name right [ laughter ] a 73yearold woman in india is now believed to be the oldest person to ever give birth after having twins this weekend via csection. The woman is doing fine but shes definitely going to wait a few years before trying for more kids [ laughter ] u. S. News and world report has released its annual ranking of americas best universities with princeton coming in first. When they heard the news, princeton students partied deep into the afternoon [ laughter ] [ cheers ] finally a new york based helicopter tour company is facing criticism for offering customers the opportunity to take their dogs on a socalled doors off flight what its totally safe, said the pilot. [ laughter ] ladies and gentlemen, we have a great show for you tonight she is an incredible musician and coach on nbcs the voice, as well as the host of the Kelly Clarkson show. Kelly clarkson is back, everybody. [ cheers and applause they are the creators and stars of ifcs very funny sketch show, shermans showcase. Bashir salahuddin and diallo riddle are here tonight [ cheers and applause and she is a talented writer whose second novel family of origin is available now cj hauser is joining us tonight. [ cheers and applause before we get to our great guests, the president s ongoing break from reality continued this morning on twitter as we learn more about his insistence that Hurricane Dorian was going to hit alabama for more on this, its time for a closer look. [ cheers and applause seth well, its another monday in the trump era. Which means we all awoke to another fever dream of cruelty, stupidity and corruption just in the last few days, the president launched a deranged attack on john legend and Chrissy Teigen a house panel is investigating the militarys use of trumpowned property in scotland the president ignited bipartisan fury when he announced that he invited the taliban to camp david just days before the anniversary of 9 11, while simultaneously canceling that meeting and upending months of delicate peace talks and he attacked former South Carolina governor mark sanford who announced a primary challenge against him by trying to remind people that sanford had an affair with a woman in argentina, tweeting that sanford was found in argentina with his flaming dancer friend. [ light laughter ] [ audience ohs ] now, we think he meant to type flamingo dancer which also would have been wrong because its flamenco dancer which also would have been wrong because there is no evidence sanfords former mistress had ever been a flamenco dancer. [ laughter ] it is like a seven layer dip of president ial insanity. Its stupid stacked on top of stupid, stacked on top of stupid and then, i guess, guacamole [ laughter and applause also, id like to remind everyone, everyone, this is not the first time trump has gotten details of this story wrong. To explain his disappearance, when he was having the affair back in 2009, sanford famously claimed he had been hiking the appalachian trail. Trump has tried to mock him for that before but hes gotten that detail wrong as well and he did it again today mr. Tallahassee trail or appalachian trail, hes the appalachian trail, right the tallahassee trail is nice too, but i think it was the appalachian trail. Never liked him too much i wasnt a big fan the tallahassee trail. Must be a beautiful place. Unfortunately, he didnt go there. He was supposed to be vacationing on the tallahassee trail. [ laughter ] but he was actually in argentina. I dont know jim, do they have a tallahassee trail in argentina [ light laughter ] seth no. They dont [ laughter and applause they dont have one in tallahassee. It doesnt exist [ light laughter ] the tallahassee trail sounds the name of a chain restaurant where they let you throw peanut shells on the floor [ light laughter ] and by they way, almost everything i just told you about happened before 8 00 a. M. This morning. Its hard enough to process all of this insanity in an entire day. But its worse when you havent even had your coffee yet i never thought i would say this to a president but please, sleep in [ laughter ] we need to take one of those dumb novelty tshirts that says dont talk to me until ive had my coffee and pass it into law. [ laughter and applause while all of this was happening, trump was also continuing his use of the presidency to enrich himself. Last week trump reportedly encouraged Vice President mike pence to stay at his golf resort in ireland and on friday it was reported that an air force crew made stop at trumps scottish resort. Democrats are investigating whether these obviously corrupt practices violate the constitution, so trump lashed out again this morning on twitter, distancing himself from both incidents quote, i had nothing to do with the decision of our great Vice President mike pence to stay overnight at one of the trumpowned resorts in doonbeg, ireland. I know nothing about an air force plane landing in an airport, which i dont own and have nothing to do with it, near turnberry resort which i do own in scotland and filling up with fuel with the crew staying overnight at turnbury. They have good taste nothing to do with me. [ light laughter ] seth wow, he is tap dancing faster than a flaming dancer [ cheers and applause also, you cant just tweet, in all caps, nothing to do with me right after you admit they stayed at your hotel and you put in parenthesis they have good taste. Hes like a guy who gets caught on camera robbing a liquor store and says, thats not me but whoever it is is very handsome. And its not just the air force and the Vice President who are helping line trumps pockets it was also reported last week that attorney general bill barr had booked trumps hotel for a 30,000 holiday party. Trump was asked about all the money flowing from taxpayers to his private businesses last week and once again claimed he had nothing to do with it while also taking the opportunity to advertise his resorts. Can you speak to me on your involvement in the Vice President s plans to stay at a trump property in ireland . I had no involvement other than its a great place. Its doonbeg i own it its in ireland. Its beautiful its wonderful i dont suggest anything i dont suggest it nor did i with the attorney general. I never spoke to the attorney general about using my hotel i have a lot of hotels all over the place and people use them because theyre the best i mean, you know, theyre the best but hes using the hotel and people like my product what can i tell you . I cant help it. But, you know, i guess they say we want to stay at a place thats better than someplace else [ light laughter ] seth well, that is really quite the endorsement. Sandals should steal that slogan [ laughter and applause sandals, a place thats better than someplace else. [ cheers and applause of course, all of this comes after trump spent the entire week lying about a hurricane and insisting that it was going to hit alabama. Going even so far as to alter an official forecast with a sharpie. Now, we [ light laughter ] we dont want to keep talking about this we would have been happy to just let this go as another one of the million dumb things trump has done we talked about it on thursday, had a few days off and figured wed wake up to a new day of fresh crimes and flaming dancers, but trump keeps talking about it and as we all know, once trump gets called out for a lie, he will not stop until he gets the last word. Everything else has to grind to a halt while we watch this sweaty weirdo bark at reporters and insist that hes correct by tweeting nonstop or doing that thing where he points at his own brain to show us all how smart he is. [ light laughter ] they did a cat scan on my brain and said it was huge here, let me show you a photo. [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause this looks like the start of a kids video called heads, shoulders, knees and i cant reach my toes. [ laughter ] trump initially pretended he had no idea who defaced this hurricane map. Well, it wont surprise you to learn that after the Washington Post did some digging, they found out who the culprit was. It was trump who used the black sharpie. To mark up an official National Oceanic and Atmospheric Administration map which he displayed during an oval Office Briefing on wednesday, according to a white house official who spoke on the condition of anonymity. No one else writes like that on a map with a black sharpie its amazing to me the reporters actually had to spend time on this they actually had to call up Anonymous Sources and get them to reveal who the sharpie culprit was. Its like watergate except trump is his own deep throat hes cheap throat. Dont worry, we dont need to pay for a new map. Ill just draw it with a sharpie. Everyone will think its real. [ light laughter ] its probably what did he for each of erics birthdays [ laughter ] [ audience ohs ] now, trump has tried to muddy the waters and confuse everyone by making this as complicated as possible lets keep it very simple. Last sunday, september 1st, trump tweeted that alabama will most likely be hit much harder than anticipated then 20 minutes later, the National Weather service in birmingham, alabama tweeted, alabama will not see any impact from dorian. As we learned this weekend, that correction wasnt the National Weather Service Going out of their way to embarrass trump they had to issue that correction specifically in response to alabama residents who were freaked out by the president s tweet. The Washington Post reported that the Birmingham Office sent the tweet after receiving a flurry of phone calls from concerned residents following trumps message. Were now at the point where the president is scaring people for no reason. He is basically the web md of president s [ laughter ] so no matter what symptom [ laughter and applause no matter what symptom you type in, the response says, sounds bad, youre probably going to die. [ light laughter ] seriously, think about that. People were calling because the president said they might be in danger and instead of reassuring them after he was corrected, he doubled down its like if he stood up in a crowded theater and yelled fire and then a theater employee said, everyone calm down there is no fire and instead of apologizing, you took out a can of gasoline and a match and said well, theres one now. [ light laughter ] the craziest, the most dangerous part of all this is that trump has involved other parts of the government in his war on reality. Just today we learned that commerce secretary, wilbur ross, threatened firings in noaa after trump dorian tweets. That comes after noaa staff were instructed not to contradict the president s sharpie hurricane forecast and on top of that, trump has an entire party in lockstep with them just yesterday, republican senator, roy blunt, dismissed trumps compulsive lying although he seemed to pause when asked if americans could trust the president. Should the American Public take the president at his word when he speaks well, the president communicates differently than anybody else youve said that before as a candidate he can but hes the president of the United States. When he issues a politicizing the weather. I mean, is there anything left well, ive spent most of this month at home in missouri and i dont think, i think this whole sharpie thing is way being overplayed are you worried that the credibility of the words of the president of the United States has been eroded . No. [ laughter ] seth it should not take you that long to answer when someone asks you if the president you support is a liar. Thats like a husband who just got back from a guys trip to vegas. Did you have fun, honey . Yeah did you get a lap dance . No [ laughter and applause and then there is fox news, an entire Propaganda Network that, with few exceptions, reinforces the president s deranged alternative reality on a daily basis. Then denies obvious facts that are playing to our eyes. In fact, just last month, an anchor on fox business actually insisted during an interview with one of trumps republican primary challengers, that the president has never told a lie im running against this president because i believe he lies virtually every time he opens his mouth. You know that, too no, i do not. I think hes morally unfit. I do not know that. Do not impute that to me, joe walsh. Dont do it. Stuart, do you believe this president lies no. You dont believe hes ever lied he exaggerates and spins. Seth yeah, those are other ways of saying he lies do fox news anchors keep a thesaurus with them at all times for moments like this . Does the president lie no, he beguiles, obfuscates, prevaricates and dissembles. [ laughter ] also, its very hard to come off as a moron when youre a guy with a british accent using the word impute but somehow this guy managed to do it although, if brexit has taught us anything, it is that british people are just as prone to putting dummies in charge as we are. Like this dummy. You know the caution . You know what you have to say when you call someone. You do not have to say anything. Is that right . Anything you say but if you fail to mention something, which you later rely on hang on lets get this right do you remember it they all know it which you later rely on in court, maybe taken into account anyway, you get the gist [ laughter and applause seth i dont know. I dont know if we did get the gist that there, their Prime Minister is like if donald trump had one of those gps settings where you could just switch him to a british accent [ light laughter ] i think the best way for britain out of the European Union is through the tallahassee trail. [ laughter ] although my favorite Boris Johnson clip from this last week, hands down, has to be this one please leave my town. I will, very soon [ laughter and applause seth that might be the most british thing ive ever seen good day, sir. Now please do [ bleep ] off. Cheerio. Americans, of course, we are slightly less polite mr. President , [ bleep ] you. [ cheers and applause seth the british one [ cheers and applause the british one was good, but i do like the american remake. The president of the United States isnt just lying, hes concocting elaborate fantasies to defend those lies strongarming the rest of his government to justify those lies and relying on the support of an entire Political Party and right wing media apparatus to spread those lies it might seem trivial when its just about sharpies or flaming dancers, but trumps war on reality also has real consequences for real people at this point we would be much better off if instead of being president , trump just spent his time hiking the tallahassee trail seth this has been a closer look. [ cheers and applause well be right back with Kelly Clarkson, everybody. [ cheers and applause announcer for more of seths closer looks, be sure to subscribe to late night on youtube. Good morning. Good night. The allnew versa the most techadvanced car in its class. This is nissan intelligent mobility. The most techadvanced car in its class. See ya later. Im outalright. Fellas. Hello, are you the locksmith . Yes i am. Come on in. I think we were able to salvage the lock. [ shouting ] muchas gracias. Ya tu sabes. [ laughing ] the pink . Lets go mets go time daddy [ giggles ] number six, number six. Ohhhh man. Took my hat off. [ to love somebody by bee gees playing ] [ crowd cheering ] thats crazy lets go mets lets go mets [ crowd chanting ] lets go mets yes hey sean hey dan whatever youre craving. And whenever youre craving it. Doordash has the restaurants you want. Delivered to your door. Wherever your door happens to be. Download doordash. The most restaurants across america. First order, 0 delivery fee. And i. Was. Take shocked. Test. Right away, called my mom, called my sisters. Im from cameroon, congo, and. The bantu people. I had ivory coast, and ghana. Togo. I was grateful. I just felt more connected. To who i am. New features. Greater details. Richer stories. Get your dna kit today at ancestry. Com. [ cheers and applause seth welcome back. Give it up for the 8g band everybody. [ cheers and applause sitting in with us on drums this week is a multigrammy Award Winning artist and founder of the Berkeley Institute of jazz and gender justice be sure to check out waiting game, her forthcoming album with her band, social science, which comes out november 8th Terri Lyne Carrington is here, everybody. [ cheers and applause thank you so much for being here thank you seth our first guest is a grammy Award Winning singer and songwriter and a coach on nbcs the voice, which returns for its 17th season on monday, september 23rd she is also host of her new talk show, the Kelly Clarkson show, which airs weekdays in syndication. Please welcome to the show one of my favorite people, Kelly Clarkson, everybody. [ cheers and applause seth welcome back thank you i love how you always spotlight amazing musicians. Seth its really nice. Guest drummers yeah. Seth its such a delightful to have that yeah, theyre amazing yes. Seth each one is different yeah. Seth theyre like a snowflake or a fingerprint a snowflake [ light laughter ] seth yeah. This is great. Today its official. You are you have joined the family of talk show hosts. Official. Seth youre very own show. I watched it. [ cheers and applause seth you watched it . It was on today. I would like to toast you. Oh, yes seth and i would like to welcome you to the family. We are so lucky to have you thank you seth as a talk show am i in a club with you seth yes, you are in the club now oh, my god. [ light laughter ] seth were take this away cause we know what happens. Okay. We do. [ laughter ] but it was fun seth it was fun. And you got to watch it today . Was it exciting . I did we watched it was a whole, like, it was funny because people from the voice, the talk show, my label, were all kind of doing stuff at the same time so were all in my hotel room watching it. Seth thats really exciting. It was. But then its not. cause, like, youre watching yourself seth yeah, no, i agree and, like, everyones watching with you. Seth yes and its the worst, yeah. Seth i will say that i do not watch this show with any regularity yeah [ light laughter ] i will say that i probably wont watch it again seth yeah, there you go. Because its, like, you im high fiving you. Seth oh, great its like you im like, youre leaving me hanging. [ laughter ] lets do it again. [ cheers and applause seth but it is i also think you know, one of the nice things about doing these shows is, of course, the more you do them, its really great to be in the moment of them. Yeah. Seth and then to watch them is only to see the things that you wish youd done differently. Yeah. Seth and so theres no value to that. I feel like i have enough people telling me seth yeah. What i shouldve done better seth i know when i got a show, everybody asked me, did you get invites from other talk show hosts . Did you did anybody tell you anything that was helpful . I mean you were nice, and jimmy, and ellen everybody has been really nice everybody has just told me to be me and im like, well, check. [ laughter ] thats easy. Best advice ever i dont even have to work at it. Seth another question i get asked all the time, do you have a dream guest . Is there someone meryl streep. Seth meryl streep. Right away you and then meryl streep. Seth thank you very much, yeah [ laughter ] that was really [ applause ] you you and meryl streep. Seth you are not meryl streep so i did not believe that acting performance. [ laughter ] did you not see from justin to kelly, seth. [ cheers ] jimmy justin stole that movie. My footprints are right behind meryls but do you think, like, you could keep your composure if you ever had her as a guest . Yes seth you do think you could . I do. I was startled i know what everyone is thinking because you might have seen the video of me freaking out on the red carpet with her but i was startled it wasnt it was unexpected seth i see, yeah yes seth yeah, so youre saying i would seth like, if you have enough warning totally seth that youre going to see meryl streep yes seth youll be okay. Yeah. I might have a drink before the show [ laughter ] just to calm down. Seth well, im sorry to surprise you but look who is behind you yeah, all right no, dont do that. [ laughter ] seth yeah, no. You know that theres id be like haha [ laughter ] its fine. I swear im not scary. Seth youre also going to have the American Idol judges from your season yes seth on the show as guests yeah, i think justin might be coming, too. So thats exciting seth oh, thats exciting yeah, maybe a from j to k 2. Seth that was yes everyone has been dying for the sequel i know it. Seth the two things that people ask for are the new avengers movie and justin to kelly two. [ cheers and applause im assuming youve seen them all a lot over the years have you i run into yeah, ive run into simon probably more than anyone but i hosted the billboard awards last year in seth yes i kind of run into them at random points. Seth does it bring you back do you feel a nostalgia for that time . Totally seth and do you look back as do you remember the stress and anxiety of it more or the success of it more . I remember the humor of it. cause we were all very tired. So were all, like, you know the hysterical point where everything is funny . Seth yeah. Yeah. So there was a lot of that cause we the show blew up in that first season. Seth of course yeah, so we were pushed to the nth degree yeah, so i can handle anything seth thats good i want to ask about this cause ive heard rumors. Is it true that your daughter has already asked when she is going to get to be a guest on your show . Yes seth okay. And also she really enjoys telling she just started kindergarten and people are talking about her parents. She was like, oh, my parents my mom is Kelly Clarkson my dads brandon. [ laughter ] why . Im like, i dont know if you should say that. Youre going to hate in it junior high probably. Yeah seth and if she was a guest on your show, what do you think she would want to do like, how would she present herself . I think im actually going to see if shell interview with me. Seth oh, wow like, well, yeah. Seth thatd be really fun. Yeah, maybe ill get her to come when meryl comes and ill feed the questions seth oh, thats really good. Yeah. Seth theyd have a buffer around, yeah exactly, yes. Seth so if it goes badly, you can say to meryl blame the five year old seth this was not my fault. This was her. Seth yeah. [ laughter ] shes horrible. Seth so the voice coming up yes seth is the year sceason 17 yes and my tea reallgood seth your team is really good yes seth you won 14, 15. Yes seth you lost 16 mmhm seth and are you is it obviously, based on that face, this bothers you no, i mean, it bothers you just cause your team. You want them on win, obviously. Seth right, right, right but, no, ive been working them after the show anyway but john is really good. Hes hard to seth yeah. John legend. Hes hard to combat seth he won last year. Yeah, hes legends in the name [ light laughter ] seth yeah, exactly hes an egot person so, thats hard. Seth you also have hes yeah hes an egotv. cause he also a v. He won the voice. Oh, i was like, where we going . [ laughter ] way to go. Seth hes an egotv egotv, yeah seth you this is amazing. Your for you, your talk show and the voice are on the same lot. Yeah, like a golf cart away seth a golf cart away. Yeah. Seth so you finish one show and you just get into a golf cart and drive to the other. Yeah, i kind of want to go, like, pimp my ride. And i want them to, like, just supe up my golf cart seth yeah. [ laughter ] like, with hydraulics just look ridiculous seth do you drive . Yes should i not probably seth well, no, i have you been talking to my husband . [ laughter ] seth was this over the years . I mean, you ive been on lots sometimes you see stars are being driven in the back or the shotgun no, usually, yeah, lopez, my husband usually its other people. Seth gotcha. Yeah. Seth but you do think you can handle a golf cart yeah. [ laughter ] i just bought myself, actually, 76 bronco its completely restored for my birthday in april. Seth did you really . Yes seth you got it for yourself i also have a tesla save the planet. [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause i drive a tesla more seth yeah. Elon. Seth yeah. But i like it it is nostalgic for me so, yeah seth yeah, a 76 bronco. Thats a cool car. Her name is dr. Quinn. Seth her name were forging seth her name is were forging new paths seth gotcha. Dr. Quinn. On the frontier seth and do you often buy yourself a birthday present . Is that something often seth yeah. In months that arent even my birthday [ laughter ] just to fill the sadness [ laughter ] im just kidding im totally kidding. Seth yeah. Im here for the joke seth yeah, yeah, yeah. I do im a prime member. We have a lot of boxes at our house seth you do . From amazon constantly its an addiction. Seth oh, well, look, if anyone deserves to be gifting themselves, i believe that it is you. Thank you seth and im so happy to have you here on the first day of your talk show. Thank you seth and [ cheers and applause its always a delight to see you. It is a delight seth Kelly Clarkson, everybody. High five seth the voice returns on monday september 23rd at 8 p. M and the Kelly Clarkson show airs weekdays in syndication on nbc. Well be right back with Bashir Salahuddin and diallo riddle. [ cheers and applause diallo riddle. [ cheers and applause i kn son could be at risk of certain cancers later in life. Diallo riddle. [ cheers and applause from an infection, Human Papillomavirus i knew widespread hpv is and while hpv clears for most, that might not be the case for him. I knew his risk increases as he gets older. I knew a vaccine could help protect him at age 11 or 12, before he could be exposed. I knew so i talked to my childs doctor. Now that you know that hpv can lead to certain cancers, dont wait. Talk to your childs doctor today. [upbeat action music] pilot were going to be on the tarmac for another 45 minutes or so. I am totally blind. And non24 can make me show up too early. Or too late. Or make me feel like im not really there. Talk to your doctor, and call 8442342424. Mhm. Nice whats the score . No idea. The amazing new iphone has arrived. And so has tmobiles newest signal. 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Temptations 11. Yeah, thats it gladys likes it dont you gladys a good ring to it. Yeah. Seth welcome to the show, Bashir Salahuddin and diallo riddle [ cheers and applause seth welcome to the show, fellas yeah. Yeah. Seth it is lovely to have you back in the building we first met when i was on snl thats right. Seth and you guys were writers for the previous iteration of late night with jimmy fallon thats right, thats right. We were here for that its good to be back here we were there for, like, four years. We were like, literally, i think, like, the fourth or fifth people they hired. Thats right. The building was empty. Seth the building was empty. And we all grew up. Seth and you guys you guys met in college . Met in college. Yeah. Thats right. We were not studying [ light laughter ] we decided to just, you know, spend all that time trying to be funny and make everybody in the lunch room laugh yeah yeah, we actually met in an a Cappella Group because thats where the cool kids were. Seth sure, sure, yes [ laughter ] yeah, usually, like, no nerds allowed. No, no, no. No, no. We nerds, please [ light laughter ] you got to get recruited seth and this is at harvard so you have to have to have a place where no nerds are allowed. Right, yeah, yeah seth or otherwise, theyll just be everywhere theyll be everywhere, man. Seth you you are a deejay graveyard shift. Actually, okay, embarrassing story. I fell asleep in the law library one night. And i lost my term time job. So i actually just started, you know, spinning records and i would charge less than the other deejays. Seth okay, gotcha. So, that was that seth and is it true that you were 2 00 to 6 00 a. M. Yeah. Oh, yeah, on whrb yeah, we had a radio show. [ light laughter ] and by the way, if you are a radio deejay at that time of night, the only people calling in are usually prisoners prisoners [ laughter ] shout out to bill and rick in prison yeah, shout out to bill and rick in prison [ laughter ] eric in e block. Whats up, homie . I see you, man. [ laughter ] hey, my man. We made it, bro. [ laughter ] two of us made it. But i would bring him to the studio, sometimes, id be like, hey, bashir, will you be like a dance artist . Yeah, yeah, yeah. And so, id be like, hey, in the studio with me now, i have a jamaican artist, blue nile crocodile ranks. And, of course [ light laughter ] and then, of course, our jamaican friends would say, we dont sound like that. That is the fakest id ever heard please dont ever do that again. Seth you guys this is very hard to accomplish and i want to congratulate you you have two shows on the air right now. Thats right. Yeah, yeah. [ cheers and applause seth you have shermans showcase on ifc and you have south side on Comedy Central south side, yeah. Seth and south side, shir, your wife is in the show and your brother is in the show. My wife, my brother, my business slash writing partner, two of my boys from high school. Literally every child my mother had is on that show at some point. [ light laughter ] seth did the idea for the show come from the fact that you had so many people that fit into this story so well well, you know what it was is that, we wanted to do a show about one of our hometowns originally, we were going to do a show about diallos hometown of atlanta atl in the house but we ended up doing a show [ cheers ] hey guy. [ laughter ] but we ended up doing a show about chicago. You know, so much about what you hear about the city is its maligned and its like tough stuff and im like, thats not what i grew up with. My city is vibrant and fun so we thought, lets have chicagoans speak for themselves. So most of the folks you see on our show, not even professional actors, just the funniest people we know. Seth and i should point out that it is also [ applause ] it is also honest and authentic. Yes seth it doesnt run away from the things that are true about chicago. No. Seth but it also shows that it is not this dire situation. Oh, no. We start from the reality but we say the people who live there, you know, they dont walk around all day with their heads, you know, hanging down, trying to figure out how to make it through another day while blues plays in the background. [ laughter ] which, by the way, would be amazing. But no, they find joy and they find spark and they find spirit. And so, once the city started showing its true colors to america, the response has been amazing. Season two is happening, yall its going to be a great time. [ cheers and applause seth one of the things thats as impressive as having two shows on the air is how different they are oh, totally seth i mean, so this is this really authentic show that feels very true its like grounded. Seth yes, exactly. Important show, and then, theres shermans showcase. Seth and then, you have shermans showcase, which is basically based on these 70s type variety shows like soul train and solid gold. Seth solid gold. Some guys in there. [ light laughter ] seth and it really its kind of hard show to describe or explain. So im going to let you guys do the best i would say the short hand is that if 30 rock took place at snl. Our show takes place at soul train. Seth yeah. Solid gold. Yeah. But the key difference is that what we really do, is we use it to create this show that, like, almost anything can happen yeah. Like, two of our favorite shows are peewees playhouse. Like we were kids when that was out. [ light laughter ] muppet show. And also, the muppet show yeah, yeah. Guys [ applause ] thats peak tv man and its also like a place where we can bring in our other extended family. Yeah. You know, my wife was the choreographer. My nephew was the animator you know, we called in friends of ours whove been on other shows. Like, you know, i was on a tv show called marlon on nbc. I called up marlon wayans. I was like, will you come through and do this . And he was like, who is this . Who is calling me . [ laughter ] he was like, i thought i blocked this number. And i called from my wifes phone, and so, he came through the show shout out for marlon. Tiffany haddish, lil rel and eliza Nigel Lythgoe from so you think you can dance. Because we wanted to put the dancers as, like, the comedians on the show. So many dancers are actors as well so its just a really fun show you kind of have to watch. You know what its like to do a show at ifc. Seth yeah. Like, you have a lot of creative freedom and you just kind of run with it. Seth and one of the great things about the show is you have written, i believe, 23 original songs . Theres so many great songs you know, we were writers but, you know, we kind of loved what the lonely island did. Seth yeah. Like, the first time i heard lazy sunday, i was like, this is funny, but also, this beat goes hard. As a deejay, you can mix it into yourself. Seth yeah, exactly so we were like, we have to do songs that are really good. So we partnered with john legend, hes a friend you know, john legend, neyo oh, my gosh vic mensa seth you guys have a show that you love. A show thats very near and dear to your heart. It is called Marina Del Rey. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. It is one of my favorite songs it is written with some help from the knocks, who are like one of my favorite, like, sort of like electronic indie bands seth and Marina Del Rey is about a part of california that you feel it doesnt get enough attention. Like, hollywood has a million songs. A billion songs Los Angeles Seth right, right, right but nobody is writing songs about where people park their boats. Yeah. Seth yeah. [ laughter ] you know, marina yeah, exactly. So we were like, why dont we write a song about l. A. s most neglected neighborhood. And they loved it. Seth well, do you think theres a song we could hear a little okay [ cheers and applause and im sure we can work something out. Seth yeah, yeah. Oh, my god, that would be wonderful. Here they go, you guys i mean, i yeah, maybe maybe, i dont know. Seth all right, well lets go, you guys this is very exciting. Here to perform Marina Del Rey. Shermans showcase and the knocks wow, look at it los angeles. Newport beach. Dennis beach redondo its a beautiful day, man what should we do . I think we should go to Marina Del Rey one. Two. Three. Were going dow to rent this boa and gethe nd take my advice an dont past those rocks tell us what to do i am the captain no said silver malibu lets spend the day lets spend the da in Marina Del Rey lets spend the day lets spend the da in Marina Del Rey i want to pla i want to play in marina del re in Marina Del Rey [ cheers and applause seth Bashir Salahuddin and diallo riddle, everybody the Season Finale of shermans showcase airs wednesday night on ifc well be right back with cj hauser [ cheers and applause cant see. E can protect what e Snow Leopards are almost impossible to find, but we need to know where they are, because they are threatened. Our camera traps allow us to have and eye in the mountains, taking thousands of pictures. Microsoft ai scans through all these images, and separates Snow Leopards from everything else, in ten minutes instead of ten days. It gives us time to do better research, and save this threatened species. Full of tasty, good for you ingredients. 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Plus get 250 back when you buy an eligible phone. Click, call or visit a store today. Announcer for more late night, go to latenightseth. Com. Follow us on instagram and twitter latenightseth and be sure to check us out on youtube and facebook head over to itunes to subscribe to the late night with seth meyers podcast. Youll get a closer look and more downloaded right to your phone. Limu emu doug hour 36 in the stakeout. As soon as the homeowners arrive, well inform them that Liberty Mutual customizes Home Insurance, so theyll only pay for what they need. Your turn to keep watch, limu. Wake me up if you see anything. [ snoring ] [ loud squawking and siren blaring ] only pay for what you need. Liberty. Liberty. Liberty. Liberty. Be right back. With moderate to severe Crohns Disease, i was there, just not always where i needed to be. Is she alright . I hope so. So i talked to my doctor about humira. 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You either love it or you really love it. Performance comes in lots of flavors. dramatic orchestra theres the ampedup, overtuned, feedingfrenzyof sheetmetalkind. And then theres performance that just leaves you feeling better as a result. Thats the kind lincolns about. [ cheers and applause seth our next guest is an awardwinning writer whos new novel family of origin was published this summer and is available now. Please welcome to the show cj hauser, everyone. [ cheers and applause seth welcome to the show, cj thank you for having me seth so i will admit, i first became aware of your work with this short story you wrote in the paris review called the crane wife. Yes seth its a tr you took it is personal, its nonfiction. And what made you both take the trip that you wrote about and then decide to write about said trip yeah, so i took the trip because i was writing a book that involved field scientists studying birds and all of the scientists in my nol weffli around great stacks of papers and saying hmmm. And they didnt seem like very good scientists. So i went to figure out what actual scientists look like and did. And then, i wanted to write about it because i want people to save the whooping cranes. And as i started writing it, i realized that i was leaving out the part where i had called off a wedding a week or two before and that it was impossible to write the essay without including it seth so when you as a fiction writer, youre basically writing this nonfiction piece about your personal situation, like, is that a tough hurdle for you to get over and in so far as what youre sharing with people . Yeah, i had some hesitations about it i had some people read it ahead of time. But, i thinkt was portant for me with the essay was that its not about i didnt know how a relationship went wrong, but it was sort of about how the call was coming from the inside of the house and i was the problem with a lot of things and i wanted to unpack that. And the paris review was like a dream publication. But i kind of anticipated it would be like sharing a story at a dinner party of your friends, and then, it wound up being like i was screaming stella in the streets. [ light laughter ] so i did not anticipate that so i could not have prepared for that seth yes yeah. Seth and then, you know, i read the book after, and obviously, it became very clear to me why you went to study these field scientists this is, you said, is about a bunch of people who are studying a specific kind of bird. Yes seth what was it that you found out like going and spending time with that kind of scientist that informed your writing of them in the book . I mean, not to be a bummer about it, but science is really slow and really boring a lot of the time but it is so important that we do it. And its a very beautiful kind of way i dont know, to be in the world, like, to spend that time on the gulf for me, in this sort of meditative state counting wolfberries and crabs. It really taught me a lot about who i was and the work that people are doing every day seth yeah, there seems to be an inherent patience involved in it that maybe most writers i know dont have. [ laughter ] did it feel like a difference for you to take your writers brain and have to slow it down to just observing as opposed to commenting on . I was looking for the story the whole time and the story is, heres another wolfberry. [ laughter ] and so, i think that was really humbling for me. And i think that thats why it took a while i didnt write about the trip until a couple years afterwards. Because i needed to figure out why it was still in my head and why it still meant so much to me seth this in the book, you talk about a group of people who are reversalists in that they believe evolution is going backwards. Yes seth where did this idea come from, where did you get that so, misanthropy at large i work in academia i think that, i dont know im a child of very optimistic baby boomers and i would not change being raised by optimistic baby boomers for anything but there is a lot of trashing of millennials going on. Theres a lot of millennials killed the napkin industry in literature and everything. And i just felt like i can imagine people thinking that everything is getting worse. Generationally, its getting worse, every day, its getting worse. And i wanted to think about what sort of people i dont know, feel that way. How do you get that low . And i was getting that low and i sort of wanted to call myself on thinking everything was garbage to find a better answer, i hope seth you another place where id imagine, optimism is very helpful for writers, and you are a teacher. And you teach at colgate and i would imagine students, especially writing students there, has a sense of frustration and how hard writing can be when you havent started it or youve started and you dont like it. You use totems to inspire your writers. Yeah. Seth can you explain that real quick i do, but first, i have to reach into my pocket seth okay, great just for a minute seth okay, so this is so this is a Little Chicken hes a Little Chicken seth and so, you give this to your writing students and what does it represent sthe idea is that i think theres a lot of stuff that goes on about writing practice and how precious people are. Where, like, i have to wake up at 5 00 in the morning, i have to drink this coffee, i have to be in this chair and i think thats not helpful because i think a lot of the time, were broke and were struggling youre trying to fit it in whenever you can i wrote most of my first novel in bodegas on lunch break. So the idea is that when they graduate, they take their tiny chicken, and whenever he is on the desk, it is a writing desk and it doesnt matter if it is sort of a break room for the job that they have if its a desk in sort of a house with a million roommates in a place that theyre regretting moving. Wherever they are, they put it on the desk and thats what makes it a writing desk. Seth thats fantastic, and i can keep this . Yes, this is your chicken seth that is very kind of you. [ cheers and applause thank you so much for being here congrats on the book, its wonderful. Thank you so much seth i really appreciate it. Cj hauser, everybody [ cheers and applause family of origin is available now wherever books are sold. Well be right back. [ cheers and applause the juul record. They took 8 billion from big tobacco. Juul marketed mango, mint, and menthol flavors, addicting kids to nicotine. Five million kids now using ecigarettes. The fda said juul ignored the law with Misleading Health claims. Now juul is pushing prop c, to overturn san franciscos ecigarette protections. Say no to juul, no to big tobacco, no to prop c. Face buried in your phone. Stop look up. Look both ways. Lets start looking out for each other again. Its a busy world out there. And were all in it together. Go safely, california. Find the brands you love from nordstrom. Up to 70 off at nordstrom rack. Thats fashion at a fraction. Shop anytime at nordstromrack. Com and get easy returns in store. Nordstrom rack. What will you find . Shes been searching for hours. Shes suffering from searchitis. Ok, elevate her feet, whats her name . Carol. Carol, you have the x1 voice remote. Just ask it, what should i watch . Oh of course. And shes back. Search easily with the xfinity x1 voice remote. Do i consider myself a hero . Thats not for me to say. Thats for you to say. Now thats simple, easy, awesome. Easily find the entertainment you love with the x1 voice remote. Search netflix, prime video, youtube and more, all with the sound of your voice. Find your favorites today. [ cheers and applause seth my thanks to Kelly Clarkson Bashir Salahuddin. Diallo riddle. Cj hauser, everybody [ cheers and applause Terri Lyne Carrington. Of course the 8g band. Well see you tomorrow [ cheers and applause [ cheers and applause lilly tonight on a little late with lilly singh, i sit down with tracee ellis ross, star of blackish and mixedish. Yup lilly tracee, i noticed that all of youow