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Transcripts For COM The Daily Show With Trevor Noah 20240711

Office after twisting his ankle while playing with his dog major. According to a transition team. Bidens doctor saying the president elect following a ct scan sustained hairline fractures in his right foot and will likely require a walking boot for several weeks. Trevor wow. Biden broke his foot playing with his dog. That is such a strange accident or was it . Someone check who that dog voted for. And why does bied enneed a walking boot. He shouldnt be walking. He should be riding a golf cart everywhere. Its called being president ial. Also, i know this is i hard one to figure out but the president elect getting hurt by a dog really puts the secret service in a difficult position. Because how do they handle this. Dog on the ground, hands in the hair, roll over. Oh my god, hes so cute, look at him guys, he wants a belly rub. Cant stay mad at that face. All right but dogs or not, joe biden has to be more careful. He broke his foot before he even got into office. At this rate by the end o

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Transcripts For COM The Daily Show With Trevor Noah 20240711

Christmas tree. And just like Everything Else in 2020, thissiers tree is doing the best it can. The Rockefeller Christmas tree in new york city is usually lifts our spirits this time of year. But this area well lets just say that by 2020 standards, its pretty perfect. The tree was put into place atop of rockefeller center. Look at all the holes and it just kind of, i dont know, it kind of loosks look a very, like a Charlie Brown tree, like a large version of the Charlie Brown tree. Trevor into, no, no, no. You leave that poor tree alone. You already killed if, now you are going to make fun of its appearance. Who are you people, do you do this at funerals too, damn, uncle mark, you got fat, look at you, you cant even fit in that casket, anyway, rest in peace, were going to miss you. I mean think about it, that tree has been through a pandemic, a race war and a contested election. I think it deserves a round of applause for just staying upright. And by the way, its not like that tree ask

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Transcripts For COM The Daily Show With Trevor Noah 20240711

Nostrils arent virgins any more. Today the world hit a major milestone as great britan became the first country to officially approve a fully tested vaccine. So big congratulations britan, it is amazing how much you can get done when you dont waste time combing your hair. And you know this is really, really great news for the world. Unless britain decides to use this opportunity to get revenge. So it turns out weve gotten the vaccine and well be handing it out to all of our colonies, oh, oh, thats right, you dont want to be colonies any more, i guess more vaccine for me, oh, aah, how do you like that now, ind india, so safety and precaution is fantastic but there is one country who might be taking their precautions a little too far. Belt gum is putting a four person lit limit on holiday parties deurd the pandemic pandemic. Officials say all gatherings must be held outdoor in a yard or garden and only one guest will be able to enter the house during the entire party. If you really have

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Transcripts For COM The Daily Show With Trevor Noah 20240711

Imagine if i started learning ference today, and eight months after practicing, i dont speak french. And i think its a little insane that these restrictions are just now happening. Because weve known the importance of wearing a mask for months, and some states are just now putting a mask mandate into place. Only now . This is like hosting a pool party, and then in the last ten minutes saying okay, new rule no shitting in the pool. Yeah looking at you, david i mean, better late than never, but thats some shit floating around. But this is why it is so important to always wear a mask in public spaces. You can protect your loved ones and your whole community with a 3 strip of fabric, people. You have no excuse. And maybe youre saying, but trevor, im a rich snob. I would never wear something that only costs 3. Well, now you have no excuse, either. Who says staying safe cant also be a fashion statement . The worlds most expensive face mask now making its debut. The 1. 5 million mask was crea

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Transcripts For COM The Daily Show With Trevor Noah 20240711

If youre watching this, consider yourself served what a difference between 2016 and 2020. When hillary lost, she disappeared into the woods. But trump starts losing, hes dragging voters one by one on to the witness stand, though hes probably just hustling for a big settlement. Im suing because i should be president , thats why im here. But for 500grand we can forget this whole thing ever happened. 300,000. 250 my final offer. 50,000. Ill pay you, but only 20, art of the deal. But what case exactly are they bringing to the courts . Well, Rudy Giuliani, the president s lawyer and man who drank from the wrong holy jail explained his objects tan outing the vote. Not a single republican has been able to look at any one of these mailin ballots. They could be from mars as far as were concerned or from the Democratic National committee. Joe biden would have voted 50 times or 5,000 times. You have a reputation for dead people voting and well look at how many dead people voted here. Do you think

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