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Transcripts For KGO Jimmy Kimmel Live 20240713

Letter even look like right now . We are pleased to inform you you get to stay at home and send us word documents . 95 of the country is under a stay at home order right now. And not everyone agrees with that. There have been protests in multiple states like ohio, michigan and kentucky. This one went on outside the ohio statehouse. And if youre curious what all that schmutz is on the window there, thats the coronavirus. So well done. The real problem is you cant make americans do anything. We just wont. If you tell us it to do something, we wont do it. We only exist because someone tried to make us pay extra for tea once. At the Michigan State capitol yesterday there was another major demonstration. This protestor with her spelling of the word governor showed us how important it is that we get schools open asap. And if youre wondering why specifically these people are so angry that they would risk extending this pandemic, ill let this man explain it to you. I cant go between those hous

Transcripts For KGO Jimmy Kimmel Live 20240713

Rush of endorphins you feel when the car door slams shut, and you peel out of the preschool parking lot like a duke of hazzard. My cousin sal and his wife decided theyre sending their kids back to school on may 1st no matter what. Even if its closed. If its closed, they can hang out by the hopscotch area until three oclock. There is word now that students may take the sat and act tests from home this year. Wow, if only Felicity Huffman had waited what does a College Acceptance letter even look like right now . We are pleased to inform you you get to stay at home and send us word documents . 95 of the country is under a stay at home order right now. And not everyone agrees with that. There have been protests in multiple states like ohio, michigan and kentucky. This one went on outside the ohio statehouse. And if youre curious what all that schmutz is on the window there, thats the coronavirus. So well done. The real problem is you cant make americans do anything. We just wont. If you te

Transcripts For KNTV The Tonight Show Starring Jimmy Fallon 20240713

That it is doing something, so i applaud every one of you for doing that i know how hard it can be. Im very lucky to have this house and this family, but its tough so i applaud you guys. Thank you for staying home lets flatten that curve we have a great show tonight Kerry Washington is on the show shes a good friend of our show and she has a new show called Little Fires Everywhere that her and Reese Witherspoon are starring in on hulu. And get those two together, im there. Ill watch that show anytime her charity is medshare. Org. And we thank kerry for coming on well be talking to her later in the show. Also, Andrew Rannells from the show black monday will be on the show, on showtime. Andrew, he was supposed to be our show friday before we left the studio his charity is meal train. Ive never heard of this this is a new charity to me, but its fascinating how theyre feeding people that are on the front line. It and i think kind of an unknown charity so thats a great thing to to broadcast

Transcripts For KGO Jimmy Kimmel Live 20240713

Week three, spiral hams, week four, baking yeast, and week five, hair care products. Next week, pop rocks. Are you really trying to impress your cat . Today would have been tax day. We got a threemonth extension. I wonder if well be able to write off bathrobes as a business expense. But i love that we got an extension. The one year we finally had a chance to sit down and do our taxes on time. The governments basically hoping by mid july everyone will have received their stimulus checks and can turn around and send them right back to the irs. Those who are waiting for an actual check will have to wait until next month. According to the washington post, the checks are delayed because someone decided he wasnted to pri wasn wanted to print Donald Trumps name on them. Wonder whose idea that was . This is the first time a president has had his name on a relief check ever. Delaying them to put his name on them might be the trumpiest thing he has ever done. This is the dumbest thing hes decide

Transcripts For KGO Jimmy Kimmel Live 20240713

Out front . Walmart reports that sales of hair clippers and hair color have skyrocketed over the past two weeks. We have now entered the panicbuying grooming products phase. Apparently this is a thing. There are phases of emergencytime shopping trends. Jimmy week 1 we make a run on the hand sanitizer, soap and disinfectants. Week 2 we buy up all the toilet paper. Weeks 3 and 4 stores sell out of spiral hams and bakers yeast. Week 5 we have a shortage of hair care products. Next week were expected to run out of harpoons and pop rocks. So stock up. By the way, do you really need to color your hair right now . Who are you trying to impress . Your cat . Today, as you probably know, would have been tax day. But we got a three month extension. Do you think well be able to write off bathrobes as a business expense this year . I love that we got a three month extension the one year we finally had time to sit down and actually do our taxes. Basically, the government is hoping that by midjuly ev

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