Harris, booker, castro, yang, gabbard, maynard and hartley. And the last two names i made up, but did you notice . No. Because there are too many people. The candidates, i have to say, they really came out swinging tonight. No punches were pulled. Here we go oh gehrig goes in there punching. This is not a good scene at all. Jimmy i think we have the wrong clip. That was not the debate. [ laughter ] that was from the reds and pirates last night. Lets look at it again in slow motion. Because you can see from the other angle it looked like he connected, but not exactly the ufc from this one. Watch the Police Officer here, because hes just like uh, not, nothing to see here. [ applause ] go back to your seats. Get me a pretzel. Back to cnn. Cnn had ten candidates last night and another ten to talk to tonight. That is not a group of h r block employees here to help you with your w9. Those are the liberal hopefuls. It was a serious debate that got intense at times. But there were moments of l
They expect the heat will cause the usual problems. Blackouts are possible. Driving is more dangerous. People who netflix may be unable to chill over the weekend. So heres a little advice. Ive lived in some hot places. I lived in vegas. I lived in phoenix. What i do, i put my clothes in the fridge overnight, and youll thank me in the morning, just the president put on a real scorcher of a show last night. I dont know if you saw any of it, but trump held a rally in north korea i mean North Carolina last night. [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] and i dont know if someone over there at the rally has a sense of humor or what, i doubt it, but this is the song they were playing last night before mike pence came on stage. Macho, macho man macho man i got to be a macho man i got to be a macho ive got to ba macho jimmy i want to be a macho. Mother, i want to be a macho. Moments later, the macho man himself, captain space force, took the stage. He was summoned there to introduce his master, d
Yes, of course. Jimmy do you have an emergency kit at home . Yes, i do. Were going to get under the table and backpack by the door with water. Jimmy do you have the backpack itself . Yes. Jimmy whats in it . Water, cookies and tequila. Jimmy okay. [cheers and applause] i do. Jimmy that would be fine if were you the cookie monster, but you need to have bandages. You need iodine, you need all of that stuff. In fact, i went online, and ive been looking at emergencytype products. This is how i calm myself down. I go and buy things. But there are a lot of items you can get for when the worstcase scenario happens. These are real. This can be purchased right now online, this is the gluten free emergency food kit. Because the last thing you want to be is bloated when youre drinking toilet water to be alive. That is at my patriot supply. This is the storage container, also known as a garbage can. This is a flashlight that screws onto a water bottle for 12, or you can just get a lantern for 12.
Jimmy fallon [ cheers and applause jimmy oh, my goodness thank you very much welcome. [ cheers and applause oh, have a seat. Welcome, welcome, welcome, welcome, welcome, welcome to welcome to the tonight show. [ cheers and applause thank you for being here guys, this is very exciting. Tonight was the season premier of bachelor in paradise. [ cheers and applause owwoo its for everyone who watched the bachelorette and thought, well, its a little too classy for me. I think i want to [ laughter ] thats right bachelor in paradise is here its the show thats got way too much alcohol and not nearly enough chlorine. [ light laughter ] the cast includes caelynn, dean, and clay meanwhile luke p. Wasnt invited, but you know hes going to show up anyway, right [ laughter ] it was a big night on tv abc had bachelor in paradise, cbs had love island. And here on nbc it was chicago orgy. Steve oh [ laughter ] jimmy this isnt good. Over the weekend, Senate Majority leader Mitch Mcconnell tripped at his h
Unnerved together, an auditorium full of anxious men. Even a worried guy on a toilet. So visit menwithhandson theirforeheads. Com today and find the perfect image that says, ill never be able to retire. Now hiring forehead models. Announcer its the late show with Stephen Colbert. Tonight the leave us alone star state. Plus, stephen welcomes Amanda Seyfried, Jacob Tremblay brady noon, and keith l. Williams. Featuring jon batiste and stay human. And now, live on tape from the ed sullivan theater in new york city, its Stephen Colbert cheers and applause stephen come on cheers and applause hi cheers and applause i ran a little faster. Beautiful wonderful how delightful thank you so much. Please have a seat, everybody. Welcome. Welcome, one and all, in here, out there, to the late show. Im your host, Stephen Colbert. The country cheers and applause the country you can feel it out there. The country is still stunned by the Mass Shootings this past weekend. And one of the disheartening aspect