From a guy who usually wants to keep the beaches closed for himself. President trump met with the governor of iowa today said trump, i know a lot about iowa in fact, iowea lot of contractors a lot of money. [ light laughter ] that was Brian Donaldson writing a really dumb joke that ill admit, i liked look, what am i going to say dumb is not a criticism of it. I love it for its dumbness the nasa administrator announced on twitter yesterday that the space agency will be partnering with Actor Tom Cruise to film a movie in space the weird thing is, its a sequel to jerry maguire. Show me the moon. Authority they might be getting dumber as we go. Authorities in louisiana are looking for an aggressive chicken that has chased customers at a local bank and attempted to climb cars in the drivethrough. Authorities advised, anyone that sees the chicken, to take a video, because theyre bored as hell and they would like to see that oh, this is Mike Scollins wrote the dumbest joke and im going to do
Comedian Orlando Leyba and the featuring the legendary roots crew and now here he is, jimmy fallon [ cheers and applause [ cheers and applause jimmy oh, wow come on, now oh my goodness welcome, everybody welcome, welcome, welcome to the tonight show. This is it, youre here [ cheers and applause you guys, im so excited about this eddie murphy is my guest tonight. [ cheers and applause i love eddie so much in fact, earlier today i realized his career really sums up what President Trump is going through right now. [ light laughter ] ill show you what i mean. You see, 48 hrs ago, trump got impeached. In fact, things got so bad he even considered trading places with mike pence. [ laughter ] yep, trump had no idea bribing ukraine would boomerang back at him [ laughter ] and now impeachment will be a stain that follows him for the rest of his life. [ laughter ] yeah, trump was sending hundreds of tweets people thought that he was delirious. [ laughter ] in fact, trump was so mad he considered
He went on twitter, wrote man, these l. A. Fires are no joke. Ive been driving around with my family trying to get rooms, no luck so far. Lebron finally did find a place i feel like lebron could have knocked on any door in l. A. , yeah, sure, stay for taco tuesday. [cheers and applause] but we send our best to those displaced by the fires and up north. Every october we travel to brooklyn. When we come back, the whole place is on fire. This is our first day home after a weeklong residency at the Brooklyn Academy of music. You had fun in brooklyn, right . Oh, yeah, a lot of fun, jimmy. Jimmy did you weigh yourself when you got home . No, not yet. Im afraid. Jimmy do you have any guesses as to how much you gained . Maybe six, seven pounds. Easy. Jimmy yeah, were like a couple pinatas running around brooklyn. President trump took a little field trip last night to game five of the world series between the astros and Washington Nationals in d. C. This was his first appearance at a baseball g
The pino is underwhelming. Coppolas dracula gave me nightmares because it was awful. Its the late show with Stephen Colbert. Tonight tugowarren. Plus, stephen welcomes eddie murphy and the pioneer woman ree drummond. Featuring jon batiste and stay human. And now, live on tape from the ed sullivan theater in new york city, its Stephen Colbert cheers and applause stephen hi nice to see you cheers and applause stephen hey cheers and applause oooh cheers and applause stephen hey, everybody how are you . Welcome, welcome one and all, to the late show. Im your host, Stephen Colbert. Its friday cheers and applause listen to that, jon. That can only be one thing. Thats a friday crowd right there, that is. cheers and applause absolutely. Accept no substitutes. It is friday and trump is thanking god that it is. Because hes had a rough week. The impeachment inquiry has been so damning, trump needed his House Republican buddies to barge into the classified testimony to try to shut it down. When th
Tonight, join jimmy and his guests keeganmichael key chance the rapper, brockhampton and featuring the legendary roots crew questlove 1143 steve and now, here he is, jimmy fallon [ cheers and applause [ cheend applause jimmy oh, my goodness. Thank you very much, i love you. Welcome everybody. Welcome, welcome, welcome, welcome to the tonight show. Youre here. You made it. [ cheers and applause this is the show to be at. Hey, before we get started, i just want to give a special shout out to all of our viewers watching from the colorado mexico border [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause you guys hola hola, dude [ laughter ] yeah, you hear about this . During a speech in pittsburgh yesterday, President Trump said that hes building sections of the border wall, but i think he got confused exactly where our border is. Check out what were building a wall on the border of new mexico, and were building a wall in colorado. [ laughter ] by the time trump is done building all these walls, the countr