Joe biden has a big lead. You know, its interesting, the republicans are saying dont Pay Attention to the polls, we are going to win and democrats are saying, dont Pay Attention to the polls, theres a good chance well lose so, finally, something we agree on. I guess. The republican reelection strategy seems to be centered around making it as difficult as possible for us to vote. In texas, the governor, even though we are in the middle of a pandemic, banned additional mailin dropoff boxes. There is only one ballot drop box per county in texas, the biggest county in texas has almost 5 Million People one box. The governor, greg abbott, is apparently worried that if each county has more than one ballot box, people might put their ballots in them and have those ballots counted, which could lead to democracy. Then who knows what. And, of course, trump, because he needs an excuse if he loses, keeps screaming that the earlyvoting effort is fixed by the government, that he runs. Meanwhile, gues
Back to normal until 2022. So hang on to your hydroxy if you still have the. [ laughter ] remember when we were kids and we all thought wed have flying cars by 2022 . Now its like, maybe in the future well be able to go to a movie without killing our grandma. [ laughter ] cases are going up and up about. I think they had the thirdhighest report of infections so far today. Much of that is attributed to what they call pandemic fatigue. People are sick of being careful, so they relax, they start doing risky things. Which i get it. But thats not the way it works. You cant just stop because its annoying. Its a virus, not glee. [ laughter ] you know . Heres a map that might be of interest to you if youre curious as to whether this masking and lockdown works. You see all the red . Thats the United States. Those of the covid outbreaks here. Up above that, that is canada. Doesnt look too bad up there, does it . Even adjusted for population, theyve had onefifth as many infections as we have, but
Tonights debate was not the wrestlemania event most people were expecting. I think maybe somebody swapped trumps adderall out for tylenol. Donald trump, by the way, is the only president who gets marks for good behavior. [ laughter ] like when you bring a 2yearold on a plane. He tried very hard to resemble a human being tonight. The topics for this debate were american families, race in america, fighting covid19, climate change, national security, and dipping sauces. [ laughter ] the president requested the last one. Unfortunately for trump, he knows very little about any of these subjects. The only thing destructive could have really won this debate is if the topics were squandering your inheritance, shower head pressure, and combing your hair like this. [ applause ] i thought the moderate der a veg job, Kristin Welker handled them well. One of the reasons the president is so hard to wrangle is he just makes things up. Trump has been averaging, someone counted this, up, more than 50 f
You know, they held the world series at a neutral site in texas to protect the teams from covid19. And it almost worked. Dodgers third baseman, justin turner, was mysteriously pulled from the game after the seventh inning because his covid test results came back positive. Why they didnt find out until the game was almost over i have no idea. Major League Baseball might want to invest in some slightly more rapid tests for the players. Turner took all the necessary precautions, he left the field for 20 minutes, then came right back out on the field. [ laughter ] here he is after the game. Good news is he was wearing the masks, one of those n95 no, wait, no, i guess he wasnt. He had the mask on his ears. At least he wasnt holding the trophy that everyone touched oh, he was. Actually, the important thing is he wasnt hugging any of the guys oh, he was. So he did do some hugging, but he didnt kiss anyone on the mouth oh, wait a minute. Except for his wife. Who is now definitely positive too.
Steve from Rockefeller Center in the heart of new york city, its the tonight show, starring jimmy fallon tonight, join jimmy and his guests andy samberg jose andres, musical guest, Perfume Genius, and featuring the legendary roots crew and now, heres your host, Jimmy Fallon Jimmy hi thank you very much. Welcome to the tonight show. Thank you so much for watching i appreciate it. I want to welcome damon and stroh. Welcome back, guys [ applause ] nice to see you guys, again. We missed you. All right. Get ready for you better really laugh it up for these jokes. Here we go you are now the audience as well as the band lets get to some news here. Well guys, as coronavirus cases keep going up, and President Trumps Approval Rating keeps going down, hes decided to bring back something we havent seen in a while. Check itonths later, unable to hold his rallies and floundering in the polls, President Trump announces the televised briefings are back jimmy thats right, today was trumps first Coronav