Transcripts For KGO Jimmy Kimmel Live 20240712

You know, they held the world series at a neutral site in texas to protect the teams from covid19. And it almost worked. Dodgers third baseman, justin turner, was mysteriously pulled from the game after the seventh inning because his covid test results came back positive. Why they didnt find out until the game was almost over i have no idea. Major League Baseball might want to invest in some slightly more rapid tests for the players. Turner took all the necessary precautions, he left the field for 20 minutes, then came right back out on the field. [ laughter ] here he is after the game. Good news is he was wearing the masks, one of those n95 no, wait, no, i guess he wasnt. He had the mask on his ears. At least he wasnt holding the trophy that everyone touched oh, he was. Actually, the important thing is he wasnt hugging any of the guys oh, he was. So he did do some hugging, but he didnt kiss anyone on the mouth oh, wait a minute. Except for his wife. Who is now definitely positive too. Well, you know what . Theres no i in team, but theres an i in ventilator. Hopefully it was a false positive and hell be fine. After the game, dodgers fans oneupped him. They took to the streets. Its funny, because for whatever reason, some people dont seem to understand that celebrating does not protect you from the virus. Immediately after that last out, covid19 took a back seat to the joy of being a winner. Jimmy it did . [ laughter ] yeah, covids in the back seat making owl with your girlfriend, thats what a winner you are. Finally, how many of my neighbors have fireworks . The answer is, all of them. [ laughter ] where theyre getting them, i dont know, i havent seen a fireworks stand since july. Are they selling bottle rockets on etsy . Its confusing to me. There were hundreds of thousands of fireworks last night. Every home in los angeles was firing, which is insane, because there are still wildfires forcing people to evacuate their homes. But that didnt stop the fans from rebooting the fast and the furious tokyo drift. Did this guy not only doing doughnuts, doing doughnuts on top of fireworks, which of course caught his car on fire. Dont worry, he survived, and hell probably have a lot of children. But there was vandalism, looting, dumpster fires. Basically a Trump Administration broke out in the streets of los angeles. [ cheers and applause ] congratulations to the dodgers. You almost killed us, but you won. The other celebration getting attention is Kim Kardashians tropical birthday bash. You may have seen on instagram, for her 40th birthday, Kim Kardashian rented an island and brought everyone she knows to it. This is the post that got everyone crazy. After two weeks of multiple health screens and asking everyone to quarantine, i surprised already not a surprise i surprised my closest inner circle with a trip to a private island where we could pretend things were thunderstorm for a brief moment in time. Before you call her tone deaf, she followed that with, we danced, rode bikes, swam near whales, kayaked, watched a movie on the beach, so much more. I realize that for most people this is something that is so far out of reach right now, so in moments like these im humbling reminded of how privileged my life is. Shes humbly reminded. This is a humble reminder. For those who spent your birthday this year eating a ding dong alone in your apartment . [ laughter ] Kim Kardashian is humbly reminded. [ applause ] i wonder if anyone told her shes allowed to have a party and not post pictures of it. The backlash has been fierce. People really went nuts on this one. Theyre saying this could potentially derail kanyes president ial campaign. [ laughter ] which would be a shame. The election is five days away. Guillermo did you vote last night like you said you were going to . Guillermo uh jimmy no, you did not. Were going to the box after the show tonight. Guillermo after the show, i promise. Jimmy because of the problems with the Postal Service, namely, someone uprooting all the maim boxes, its much safer, they say, to drop your ballot off at an official collection box to mic sure it gets there in time. This is proof. This is something i got delivered to my house yesterday, a christmas card. I mailed this in december of last year. I guess it didnt have the apartment number on it, so they returned to sender. I just got it, almost 11 months later. Locally, too. If you can avoid it, dont mail your ballot. Find a drop box, put it in there. One of the reasons people are so confused about whether or not to trust the Postal Service is because theres a guy out there giving us mixed messages on it. The post office has been a mess for many, many generations. But for certainly decades. Well, theres no trouble with the Postal Service. Postal service is going to do a good job. The post office has been a disaster for many, many decades. Yeah the post office is running as well as it has in a long time. The post office is a catastrophe. The Postal Service, they do a great job. The Postal Service is a joke. The post office is running very well. The post office is stupid. [ laughter ] jimmy cant even agree with himself anymore. Last night trump was in nebraska. He had a big rally there. After the rally, hundreds of his supporters were stranded for hours in the freeding cold, waiting for a bus to take them back to their cars. Trump left in air force one at 9 00. Many in attendance had to wait until almost midnight to get a ride back to their cars, and it was 27 degrees. It was a real mess. But thats the genius of donald trump. Hes able to assemble a large, maskless crowd during a pandemic, and while everybodys focused on whether or not theyll get the virus, some how he finds a way to send them to the hospital for a completely different reason. [ laughter ] the president was abrahaming it up in omaha. He taught a History Lesson on what it means to vote republican. A vote for republicans is a vote for the american dream. Its a vote for acknowledgement that Abraham Lincoln was a republican. Is that nice . People dont know that, a lot of people dont know that. Jimmy people dont know that. Whenever he says people dont know that, it means he didnt know that. [ applause ] trump had a rally in Bull Head City, arizona, where he compared himself to another beloved u. S. President. We love trump, we love trump thank you, thank you. Nobodys ever heard we all liked Ronald Reagan. Nobody said, we love you, we love you, we love you. He wouldnt get crowds like this. If Ronald Reagan, who i consider being top notch, if he came here, hed have a couple hundred people, legitimately. Jimmy what planet is this lunatic from . Who feels the need to compete with Ronald Reagan . Ronald reagan couldnt draw 200 people in Bull Head City . Ronald mcdonald could draw 200 people in Bull Head City. Theres nothing to do in Bull Head City, ive been there. [ applause ] this is interesting, members of trumps own Coronavirus Task force are said to be personally offended by a release from the white house yesterday that claimed among other things that the president ended the pandemic. The White House Office of science and Technology Policy put out a list of trumps achievements thus far. If you look closely youll see highlights include, ending the covid19 pandemic. Which, thats good news, youd think that would be [ laughter ] jimmy wont see that on msdnc. Also we got to hear some rare audio of trumps number one talking boy, adviserinlaw jared kushner, who was recorded by bob woodward, the writer who was writing a book about the president , and jared was boasting about how trump took control of the country back from the doctors. Thats right. He said trumps now back in charge. Its not the doctors. Which sounds like what your kidnapper tells you when you wake up in a bathtub full of ice and your liver is missing. Imagine them saying Something Like that out loud. Hes taken it back attention, passengers, unbuckle your safety belts, captain trump is in charge, were going to be landing the plane on a rock very soon. Jared also told bob woodward there would be a panic phase and a pain phase, which is exactly what he said to ivanka when he proposed to her. [ laughter ] does talking to bob woodward work out well for anybody . Maybe its time to rethink, take your soninlaw in workday. This election is driving us crazy. Its especially hard to talk politics with family and friends who dont share your views. Its become a very, very difficult thing. So in an effort to release some of the pressure, we gave some people on the street a chance to put on a mask and anonymously address those individuals in their lives with whom they disagree. Do you have anyone in your life whos been driving you crazy this election . Yeah. Great, now with that mask on so they wont know its you, give them a piece of your mind and let them know how you feel. Im so [ bleep ] sick and tired of listening to the [ bleep ] my sister keeps saying, this orange stain being the best thing to happen in this country, when we all know hes the worst thing. As i watched this beautiful nation of ours go down to the tubes, one bad policy after another, one piece of [ bleep ] coming into office aft sister t tell us what a great guy he is, youre a piece of [ bleep ], you little [ bleep ], [ bleep ]. They can all go [ bleep ] themselves, right . Yes. Jimmy im not sure, do we need any more than that . I dont know. [ cheers and applause ] just for the hell of it. Go on. I would like to say to you, dad, you are a [ bleep ] just like the man i hold the mask of. Just want to remind everybody to get out and vote and make a difference. I need you to listen. Youre supposed to be a christian. Yeah, you need some prayer. Because you all out of balance, okay . David, how can you [ bleep ] vote for a pig like that . He is not representative of the american people, he divides our country, hes an [ bleep ]. And vote the [ bleep ], [ bleep ] out. All right, pearl, thank you, youre great. Oh, you know, i really wish i wouldnt have done it. No, davids never going to know its you. [ applause ] jimmy all right, well, thanks, folks. Oh, we have a good show tonight. Gillian jacobs is with us. We have music from gracie abrahams. And well be right back with David Letterman, so stay with us its either the assurance of a 165point certification process. Or it isnt. Its either testing an array of advanced safety systems. Or it isnt. Its either the peace of mind of a standard unlimited mileage warranty. Or it isnt. For those who never settle, its either mercedesbenz certified preowned. Or it isnt. The mercedesbenz certified preowned sales event. 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I guess together, i dont know. I wonder if they got tested after justin turner. Guillermo i think they did. Jimmy why am i asking you as if you know . Guillermo i know about sports. Jimmy all right. Theres nothing like makes our first guest tonight less comfortable than a compliment. So lets just say hes the best and leave it at that. Season 3 of his fourth talk show called my next guest needs no introduction is on netflix now. Please welcome David Letterman [ ohoh. Oh, wow. Hi, jimmy jimmy i like that, an entrance. Yeah, i thought of that myself. Jimmy we dont see entrances anymore. I know. I got to tell you, im very excited to be here. Its thrilling. And thank you very much for having me on. Its great. I really appreciate it. [ laughter ] no, i do. Jimmy hey. I i want to point out that youre actually not here. But we wish you were here. Do you think you would have been okay with doing the show like this very video chat . No. Jimmy no, no, its no fun at all. No. I dont. I have trouble doing it traditionally. [ laughter ] i dont know what this would have been, and i admire you and everybody who has adopted and made this method of communication viable. Congratulations. Jimmy well you look great, by the way. Jimmy thank you, i appreciate it. You look great too. I think people have become not just accustomed to the beard, i think people have embraced the beard. Would you agree with that . Well, i was being embarrassed a lot more before the pandemic. [ laughter ] youre talking about the dodgers. Jimmy yeah. And congratulations. When i lived in los angeles, it was the dodgers in the 70s playing the yankees in the world series. Jimmy yep. You know the date of that . Jimmy 77 high 78, two years. 7778, yes. Tommy lasorda went to the ball game, met tommy lasorda. He wanted us to come to the clubhouse after the game. I felt very uncomfortable with that. Because tommy would always be there either naked or in his underpants. [ laughter ] i just thought i thats plenty, thanks, tommy. I can show myself out. [ laughter ] jimmy well, you see, thats one of the spoils of show business. You get to see tommy in his underpants. Yes. Jimmy so did you watch the game last night or did not watch the game . You know, im sorry, i forgot it was world series time. Jimmy no, its okay. Its not required. Its the tampa bay rays. Jimmy yeah. Then there was some controversy about a player who was supposed to be quarantined who decided he wasnt going to be quarantined. And there is no i in team bi. Jimmy thats right. [ laughter ] there is an i in ventilator. Thanks for picking me up. The biggest stretch of the monologue. [ laughter ] that was good. I mentioned how excited i am to be back in show business . [ cheers and applause ] jimmy were all excited. I want to talk about ive seen all the episodes of your show. I want to talk about that in a bit. Im also curious, because youve gone some episodes, im sure theres some work you put into those, no doubt. But you dont have the schedule you used to have. I wonder like how youre how you spend your regular day. Because i have a theory. And that theory is that when youve got a person that was very busy, then all of a sudden that persons not that busy, that person becomes a dangerous person. I dont know how to substantiate this, but i believe this could be accurate. Jimmy okay, sure. Its certainly been accurate in my case. I have two responses for this, if i have time for two, your honor. Have laugh. Jimmy yes, yes. First is, i dont know if you get this, but between 6 00 and 7 00 at my house, i get a lot of phone calls on the line that never rings except between 6 00 and 7 00. And its always a very nice man or very nice woman wanting to send me on a cruise or wanting me to stay at a hotel somewhere. And i cant get enough of that. Because, you know, usually that could be the only phone calls of the week that i get. [ laughter ] they wonder who theyre talking to, i say, my name is larry. Okay, larry, would you be available . I need your credit card number. Its delightful, like being in a play. [ laughter ] then you just try to keep them engaged as long as possible, because you know theres a goon monitoring these phone calls and will just unplug them if its not going well. It usually comes two call killers. One, when they say, now this offer is good for two years for the cruise. And i say, oh im sorry, i cant be gone two years on a cruise. [ laughter ] click, theyre done. The other one is, okay, were going to need your credit card number. Now between you and me, i have no idea how many numbers are in a credit card number, so i just start out with 6, 9, 7, 2, 5. Then i hear in the background, thats not enough numbers. Okay, 4, 3 click, and im done. But sometimes, you know, i can sit down and have dinner while im chatting. [ laughter ] jimmy i like that. That could be a show. You could sell that to netflix, no question about it. Well, i want to tell you something. These netflix people have been so nice to me for reasons i dont understand. But theyre you know. Well, you know them. I saw you at a thing once sdl yeah, i came to see you interview zach galifianakis. I will tell you, i said, daves not going to be able to see me, does he know that im coming . They said, no, no, dont worry, you will not be a distraction in any way. Then about a month later somebody told me, dave was what the hell is jimmy kimmel doing in the front row . And i apologize for that. I didnt know. I was told specifically that you didnt know i was coming. Listen, listen to me, jimmy. If you live to be 1,000, you will never need to apologize to me for anything. Jimmy okay, thank you. [ applause ] thats very kind, i appreciate that. Dave, i wanted to mention, if you dont mind. Regis philbin, whos your friend, whos on your show many, many times, he passed away in july. When you spoke about him, you gave i think probably the highest compliment you could pay a performer, is to compare that person to johnny carson, to say regis is up there with johnny carson. And you also said that regis was the best guest you ever had. Yes. Now tell me, you share my love for regis. Jimmy yes, very much so. Yes, regis and the many things to love about regis, not the least of which was, i kind of believe he is, was, the last connection to a show business that i grew up watching back in indiana. And don rickles and Regis Philbin and a handful of other johnny carson, of course, and others. When regis left us, to me, it seemed like, okay, that chapter is closed. Jimmy yeah. And that made me very sad. But im telling you, this guy, if somebody said, lets pick somebody to drive across country with, if it couldnt be regis, then i would hitchhike. Because he just he was always regis. Isnt that what your experience was . Jimmy always. He always referred to himself as regis. I imagine that he woke up in the middle of the night saying, regis needs to go to the bathroom regis was just exactly like he was on television at all times. Which is really remarkable. Yeah. Jimmy its very unusual. Yes. It really is remarkable. And toward the end of his life, i know often he did need to go to the bathroom in the middle of the night. [ laughter ] but thats a whole different show. Jimmy dave, so we i wanted to ask you specifically about one thing. Because regis did he ever say no to anything you asked of him . No. Jimmy no. He never said no. And he often would do things that we didnt want him to do. He showed up once dressed as shrek. And i dont while im not sure he knew why, but there he was in his shrek outfit. [ laughter ] but i was unimpressed. [ laughter ] i mean, there are guys in show business who need the costume to stay in business. Regis was not one of them. Jimmy he wasnt at all. There were also some times it seemed that he would do you would ask him to do things that he did not necessarily want. He would do anything. He would come and be on the show. And you could call him later and say, regis, your makeup was lousy, can you come back, were going to do the whole show over. And hed put on his suit and he would come back. Tremendous individual. And i believe i know for a fact, a great heart. And the night before his last show, he did the show with kelly lee kelly. Jimmy ripa, yes. Right. Whos now working with ryan seacrest, is that correct . Jimmy that is correct, yes. Yeah. And you watch that show, do you . Jimmy from time to time i do, yes, yes. What are the circumstances that cause you to watch . [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] im just wondering. Because i know youre up late. Jimmy breakfast. All right. Jimmy im not getting the calls you are, yeah. So its the night before regis is going to retire. So hes leaving his show. And he has accumulated the record for several thousand hours of television. Like 20,030 hours of television. The segment producer for the show i think was ryan teta. He said, you know what we should do, this will be a joke about how old and feeble regis is. Well, as you know, even today, dead all these monthsd jimmy no, yeah. They thought it would be funny to give him then one of those rascal scooters, you know . Jimmy yeah. There it is. Jimmy yeah. Wait a minute. Jimmy thats a late model. So i said, no, no, lets dont give regis a rascal scooter, lets give him an actual scooter like a vespa. Everybody knows how to ride a motor scooter. So thats what we decided to do. And regis, were so excited. Were sorry youre retiring, but to commemorate the evening and your last show tomorrow, were giving you this beautiful, brandnew vespa scooter. Jimmy i believe we do have the clip, yes. Heres regis on a scooter. Yeah, okay. Are you ready, my friend . Im on it, ready to go first time. For the love of god, be careful. Thank you, godspeed. Regis philbin, there he goes. I made it im fine yeah. He could have been killed. He actually could have been killed. The last night before he retires. He comes over, and i kill him. [ laughter ] you know, nobody checked him out on it. Because the assumption was, a, anybody can ride a scooter. And b, certainly regis will ride a scooter. And then this was the aftermath of that. I think you have that there. Jimmy we do. I have it here, okay. Is there room for you there, regis . Goodbye, everybody. Okay, all right. Are your feet there . Where are they . Right there, okay. Ready . Oh my gosh. Okay. Good night, everybody hey, get your hand off my ass. [ laughter ] there he goes. Jimmy David Letterman. Were going to take a break. Well be right back with David Letterman love you, regis. Dicky portions of Jimmy Kimmel Live are brought to you by geiculd save even more by bundling home and car insurance. No. In the basement. Why cant we just get in the running car . Are you crazy . Lets hide behind the chainsaws. Smart. Yeah. Ok. If youre in a horror movie, you make poor decisions. Its what you do. This was a good idea. Shhhh. Im being quiet. Youre breathing on me if you want to save fifteen percent or more on car insurance, you switch to geico. Its what you do. Lets go to the cemetery still a father. But now a friend. Still an electric car. Just more electrifying. Still a night out. But everything fits in. Still hard work. Just a little easier. Still a legend. Just more legendary. Chevrolet. Making lifes journey, just better. Making lifes journey, whos sujoe biden. Rop 15 . 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Hm hm hm im hot hm hm im ugly hm hm i sweat hm hm im old hm hm wait, hold on, hold on. This song, its almost good but its to make it a lizzo song you got to be positive. You cant say im ugly. Jimmy that is David Letterman learning from lizzo on his show. My next guest needs no introduction. I really enjoy boy, i love watching you on this show. I really do. Shes fantastic. I had no idea, jimmy, that it was that creepy. Wow, was that creepy. [ laughter ] shes delightful. Jimmy it makes more sense in context. Why did you decide to interview lizzo . Were you familiar with her music . She had been on the show. Jimmy right. And i got to know her a little bit in doing research. And people who know more about the world than do i were saying that this is somebody i think would be great. And my god was she great. And is great. And i loved her. And she this was when, you know, when the pandemic started and we all had to be tested, but she was nice enough to let us come into her home. And it was the kind of thing you know what its like when a Television Crew comes into your house. You just you start the clock, you cant wait for them to leave. Jimmy right. Stuff gets broken. Children go missing. [ laughter ] but, you know, she was great. And i didnt want to leave. You must know her. You probably know her pretty well, dont you . Jimmy no, i dont know her, but shes been on the show twice, i think. We, you know my wife and kids listen to her music a lot. And, you know, i i mean, i dont do a whole lot of dancing but i will enjoy it as theyre playing it. Yeah, yeah. Jimmy and i like i was impressed by your hand flute playing during that episode. Which is sometot seenom dont y right now . [ laughter ] [ applause ] jimmy ill text you a video. Ill send you my finstagram and you can catch me dancing. You also interviewed, who do you have, Kim Kardashian is on the show tommy lasorda. Jimmy seems like an odd choice for you to spend an hour with Kim Kardashian, but it was absolutely fascinating. I mean, the things the subjects you covered with her hadnt really no one had ever gone into them that deeply, think. Well, i dont know about that. Again, i got to know her when we talked to her husband. And shes the thing that i noticed about this show, which should come as no surprise to me or anyone else, everybody, everybody on that list of all of the people that weve interviewed, theyre all smarter and more dynamic than i am. Jimmy no, no. Which is great because youre able to learn something from talking to smart i mean, that wont happen here tonight. [ laughter ] jimmy yeah. You know what i mean . Jimmy i know. I found her to be quite dynamic. Very fond of her. Jimmy the conversation you had with chappelle is just riveting. It is great to watch. Robert downey jr. , that was so much fun. And you walking through cvs with Kim Kardashian. It is i mean, it doesnt sound like much of a description, but it was a lot of fun to watch. Especially when we got a chance to see your cell phone, which is your cell phone case in particular. [ laughter ] did you really make that yourself . No. You can a special item you can order from apple. [ laughter ] no, i made it. Oh, its here. This is what youre talking about. Jimmy yeah, we just its changed colors. Yeah, i change it seasonally. [ laughter ] if you want, if you want to have one of your assistants drop yours in a pouch and overnight it, i can get it back to you by the weekend. [ laughter ] what colors do you like, jimmy . Jimmy surprise me, surprise me. All right, lets go jimmy is that duct tape . Or have you carved up a pool theres a sentence never uttered before in the history of mankind, carved up a pool noodle. [ laughter ] yeah, thats what i did. Jimmy sometime is you have share them. Dave, it means a lot to me that you were with us tonight. I really appreciate your time. I love watching the show. I love seeing you on television. Thank you. Jimmy season 3 of my next guest needs no introduction is on netflix now. Watch all of it. David letterman, everybody. [ cheers and applause ] thanks, dave. Thank you very much, jimmy, i love you, goodbye. Jimmy bye. Well be back with Gillian Jacobs. I was covered from head to toe with it. It really hurt. Then i started cosentyx. Okay, thanks. That was four years ago. How are you . See me. Cosentyx works fast to give you clear skin that can last. Real people with psoriasis look and feel better with cosentyx. Dont use if youre allergic to cosentyx. Before starting, get checked for tuberculosis. An increased risk of infections and lowered ability to fight them may occur. Tell your doctor about an infection or symptoms, if your inflammatory bowel disease symptoms develop or worsen, or if youve had a vaccine or plan to. Serious allergic reactions may occur. I look and feel better. 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Do you think we want to sit around all day playing video games . No. But i am doing it for the rivers. Ill lay here all day if i have to, for the rivers. Giving this much hurts, but its a small price to pay. Were not gonna sit there and do nothing. Were gonna sit here, and do something. For the rivers. For the rivers. Drink a coors hard seltzer, help save a river. Each pack restores 500 gallons of river water. And take an extra 20 off save on outerwear 39. 99. Get up to 25 off koolaburra home. And save on sleepwear plus, get kohls cash. Plus, Free Store Pick up. Let the gifting start. Shop kohls and kohls. Com. Cheddar, jalapeno and sour cream onion the spicy nacho stack. I wish i could stack pringles but i dont have hands or a mouth to. Cool, play my dance playlist. Theres a flavor stack for everyone. Sort of. Asof being stretched too thinar to do my job right. And its not Just Health Care workers. Our teachers and school staff are going the extra mile for our kids. Our firefighters are taking on unthinkable missions to keep us safe. How can we keep giving billions in tax breaks to rich corporations when our communities need that money . Prop 15 closes corporate loopholes and invests in our schools, health care, and public safety. Help us do our jobs. Vote yes on 15. [ cheers and applause ] jimmy welcome back. Music from Gracie Abrams is on the way. You know our next guest from girls, community, and love which sounds kind of nice all put together. Her scary new movie is called come play. It opens in theaters friday. Please welcome Gillian Jacobs. Hi, gillian. Hi, jimmy. Jimmy how are you . Im so happy to be with you virtually. Jimmy i know, its almost like being in a way better than being with me physically, trust me on that one. [ laughter ] whats going on with you . Oh, last time you have earrings, i see, hoop earrings. I mention that, because last time you were physically here in our studio, you got your ears pierced for the first time in your life. Thats right, i did, right on that very stage where you are now. Jimmy yeah, you did. And remind me again of why you got your ears pierced here. Valid question, jimmy. I thought to myself, unless i commit to doing this live on jimmy kimmel, i will never get my ears pierced. So i floated it to producers, you were kind enough to indulge me, and i got my ears pierced on national television. Jimmy i think we have a clip from that really historic tv moment. My heart is racing right now. Jimmy is it really . Oh my god, i am so scared, oh my god. All right. Oh oh oh oh okay ow okay, yes [ applause ] jimmy are there any other fears you were like to confront . I dont know, maybe we can get you a tattoo of a dandelion or Something Like that . Think about it. Yeah, i saw that clip of regis fill lin on the scooter. I too have never ridden a scooter, so you could certainly give me a motorcycle lesson live on air, whatever. Jimmy have you ever been a passenger on a scooter . Absolutely not. My heart is once again racing. For you, jimmy, i will try it. Jimmy wow, you play it very safe, dont you . Feet on the ground. [ laughter ] jimmy would you say you are a fearful person . Riddled with fear and anxiety, yes. [ laughter ] my father got me a ski lesson when i was a very little child, and he came back at the end of the hour and he asked the teacher, how did it go . And she said, well, she refused to move the entire hour because she said it was too dangerous. [ laughter ] ive always been very protective of my physical wellbeing. Jimmy thats good. Yet you have some kind of skirelated picture on the wall behind you. Is that to remind you to not do anything, i guess, huh . Exactly. Look how terrifying that looks. [ laughter ] jimmy hows your mom doing . You talked about your mom the last time you were here. Your mom is not the usual mom. She is not the usual mom. I go so hard on my mom on talk shows. And shes such a good sport. Yes, my mothers actually here with me for a few months during the quarantine. And she managed to, through some aggressive gardening, knock down part of my neighbors fence. Jimmy aggressive gardening, i like that. Yes. Thats how i like to term it. Jimmy was your neighbor unhappy about that . I could not ask for a more kind and understanding neighbor. But i have to tell you that its really a panicked phone call to say, hi, how are you . We dont really know each other but i have knocked down part of your fence. I very quickly followed that up with, i will pay to have it repaired. Yeah, not a phone call you want to make to a neighbor. Jimmy no, yeah, but the fact that you made it, i think, makes everything okay. Sure. Jimmy so your mother was living with you . Oh, yes, she was here for several months, yeah. By the end of it she actually wanted to leave, and i was telling her to stay. Because i was afraid of her flying. But she was the person begging to leave. [ laughter ] jimmy all these things that you are scared of, you this scary movie. Will you watch this movie . No, no, no. [ laughter ] i dont watch scary movies. My burden of that not like friday the 13th but my mom would take me to 30s with adult content that frightened me, like a movie about incest. I sat there, looked at her, why have you done this . All she said was, the costumes were lovely. [ laughter ] jimmy so youre scared of skiing. Yes. Jimmy ears being pierced. Yes. Jimmy probably blood of my kind. Uhhuh. Jimmy scary movies. Yes. Jimmy really everything. Is there anything that you do thats dangerous that we would nothing, probably, huh . I think just existing. Jimmy existing is dangerous. Yes. Yeah. No, i have never really i mean, my dad also said in Elementary School he was for some reason shadowing me in gym class. And the teacher had a series of boxes for us to jump hurdles. My dad said that i ran up to the first one, moved it to the side, ran to the second one, moved it to the side. So i like to find a way around any kind of obstacle. [ laughter ] jimmy you should be observed at all times. Really. Would you be willing to let us put a nest cam in your home . Sure, yeah. Jimmy okay. You could set it up, an Obstacle Course for me, anything for you. Nothing on my own, anything for television. Jimmy thank you for being with us. Be careful, youve got an exposed outlet behind you. [ laughter ] its righter in the plant, there could be a fire. Please get some kind of a childproofing i almost s s s our house on fire when i was little too. Jimmy well talk about that one the next time. Thank you, gillian. Come play is your movie. She wont see it. It opens in theaters friday. Well be back with Gracie Abrams dicky the Jimmy Kimmel Live Concert Series is presented by mercedesbenz. The best or nothing. Its following your passion to bto the very top. And setting the standard by which all who follow, will be measured. Tequila herradura, the worlds most gold medal awarded tequila. Its following your passion to bto the very top. And setting the standard by which all who follow, will be measured. Tequila herradura, the worlds most gold medal awarded tequila. Dicky the Jimmy Kimmel Live Concert Series is presented by mercedesbenz. The best or nothing. Jimmy thanks to David Letterman and Gillian Jacobs. Apologies to matt damon, we ran out of time for him. Nightline is next. But first her ep is called minor. Here with the song, friend, Gracie Abrams pictures of the old us got me feelin older i just thought you should know i never wanted closure but you had no problem leavin now im the one to feel it i just cant believe you dont know what im feeling guess you got the best of this pickin up the pieces you just wanna leave em killing me a little bit and i hate the way you love me and i hate that i still care funny how you feel like we would ever talk again how could you think id be your friend im sure youre doing fine but i dont wanna hear it and if i left my tshirt you can keep it i dont wanna see you again if its different cause ill only see all the things that im missin and i shouldve cut all the ties but i didnt i didnt let go mmm i just cant believe you dont know what im feeling guess you got the best of this guess you got the best of this pickin up the pieces you just wanna leave em killing me a little bit killing me a little bit and i hate the way you love me and i hate that i still care i still care funny how you feel like we would ever talk again how could you think id be you had no problem leavin now im the one to feel it i just cant believe you dont know what im feeling guess you got the best of this guess you got the best of this pickin up the pieces you just wanna leave em killing me a little bit killing me a little bit and i hate the way you love me and i hate that i still care i still care so funny how you feel like we would ever talk again how could you think id be your friend \s this is nightline. Tonight, political battleground in a pivotal swing state crucial to the president. Its great to be with you and back at the villages. I like the villages. Despite an inperson pitch to the florida faithful, why some reliably republican retirees are backing biden this time. We need somebody to bring this country back together. The Senior Citizen brigade. Four more years at the biggest Retirement Community in america. And how the virus is changing votes. Nightline will be right back. Want to brain better . Unlike ordinary memory supplements neuriva has clinically proven ingredients that fuel 5 indicators of brain performance. Memory, focus, accuracy, learning, and concentration