A long time ago. Ive said some very crazy things, but theyre all on comedy central, so no one can find them. If you want to cancel me, you literally have to buy a vcr on craigslist. Godspeed. I feel like if you guys did tune in to see jimmy and were surprised to see someone like me hosting instead, its probably like when a guy is on a plane and they see a female pilot walk onboard. At first, theyre like, look at her go. Okay, yeah. We have a female pilot. How neat. Then as soon as they shut the door, theyre like, theres a guy in there, right, to do the important stuff like, you know, flying the plane . Dont panic. There is a man here. Hes operating the camera. Its a wild situation. I mean, this is insane. I showed up to a random house and a guy in a mask is filming me. I dont know if he even works here. If hes the only person whos ever going to see this footage. But were keeping our fingers crossed. I hope it doesnt seem like im complaining, even though with my voice, everything sounds
Guy in there, right, to do the important stuff like, you know, flying the plane . Dont panic. There is a man here. Its not just me. Hes operating the camera. Its an insane situation. I showed up to a random house and a guy in a mask is filming me. I dont know if he even works here. If hes the only person whos ever going to see this footage. But were keeping our fingers crossed. I hope it doesnt seem like im complaining, even though with my voice, everything sounds like im complaining. But this house is gorgeous. I still find it amazing how, in hollywood, you can just rent some mansion for the day and shoot whatever you want. As long as youre wearing a mask or a condom, california is open for business. This truly is just some random house in hollywood. Ive lived in this town for 15 years. Ive been invited to a house to shoot a tv show many times, but this is the first time i showed up and there is actually a tv show. Fool me twice, danny masterson, shame on me. That is the first moment
I probably should have been. A long time ago. Ive said crazy things, but theyre all on comedy central, so no one can find them. If you want to cancel me, i think you actually have to buy a vcr on craigslist. Godspeed. I feel like if you guys did tune in to see jimmy and were surprised to see someone like me hosting instead, its probably like when guys are on a plane and see a female pilot walk on board. At first, theyre like look at her go. Okay, yeah. We have a female pilot. How neat. Then as soon as they shut the door, theyre like, theres at least one man in there, right, to do the important stuff like, you know, flying the plane . Dont panic. There is a man here, literally one. Hes operating the camera. Its a wild situation. I mean this is insane. I showed up to a random house and a guy in a mask is filming me. I dont know if he even works here. If hes the only person whos going to see this footage. But were keeping our fixers crossed. I hope it doesnt seem like im complaining, even
Least one man in there, right, to do the important stuff like, you know, flying the plane . Dont panic. There is a man here, literally one. Hes operating the camera. Its a wild situation. I mean this is insane. I showed up to a random house and a guy in a mask is filming me. I dont know if he even works here. If hes the only person whos going to see this footage. But were keeping our fingers crossed. I hope it doesnt seem like im complaining, even though with my voice, everything sounds like im complaining. This house is gorgeous. I still find it amazing how, in hollywood, you can just rent some mansion for the day and shoot whatever you want. Yep, as long as youre wearing a mask or a condom, california is open for business. This really is just some random house in hollywood. Ive lived in this town 15 years. Ive been invited to a house to shoot a tv show many times, but this is the first time i showed up it was actually a tv show. Fool me twice danny masterson, shame on me. That is the
My plan is to move to newfoundland to become mayor of a small but fascinating town. The people of have a new neighbor. One of the oldest motorcycle clubs in the country. And the Small Community making a big statement about plastic bags. These stories plus dildos ready for jimmy kimmel if jimmy kimmel is ready for dildo. Yes, he is. Hes never been more ready for dildo. Right, guillermo . Oh, right, guillermos not here because guillermo is in dildo. Hes leading my advance team. And word on the street in dildo is theres a lot of excitement for his visit. Any sign of guillermo yet . Well, caroline, not yet. Were still waiting around to see. But everyones eyes are peeled for guillermo and thats what everyones talking about too. Theyre wondering where he is, when hes going to arrive. Jimmy thats pretty much what we wonder every day here at work. [ laughter ] its like a tropical storm. Anyway, minutes from now we will check in with guillermo, who is in dil we want to hear all about his first