Least one man in there, right, to do the important stuff like, you know, flying the plane . Dont panic. There is a man here, literally one. Hes operating the camera. Its a wild situation. I mean this is insane. I showed up to a random house and a guy in a mask is filming me. I dont know if he even works here. If hes the only person whos going to see this footage. But were keeping our fingers crossed. I hope it doesnt seem like im complaining, even though with my voice, everything sounds like im complaining. This house is gorgeous. I still find it amazing how, in hollywood, you can just rent some mansion for the day and shoot whatever you want. Yep, as long as youre wearing a mask or a condom, california is open for business. This really is just some random house in hollywood. Ive lived in this town 15 years. Ive been invited to a house to shoot a tv show many times, but this is the first time i showed up it was actually a tv show. Fool me twice danny masterson, shame on me. That is the first moment when things get weird with this noaudience thing. Because i have no idea how that landed. I have no idea if youre laughing or cringing. The audience can tell you if that was the greatest joke ever told, or i could lose everything. I guess well ever know. Cant wait to find out tomorrow on twitter. Anyway, back to me. Like most americans, i live in los angeles, but im originally from washington dc, where, which im sure you heard is making a big push for statehood. Dc has always wanted this. Our license plates say taxation without representation. Its the only passive aggressive license plate. Youll never be driving around oregon and see a license plate that says oregon, some sun would be nice. Or florida if you can read this, youre probably not from florida. Stop right there. Im not making fun of florida. Dont think im being mean to florida. I love florida. Not as much as coronavirus loves florida, but i love it. Some of my favorite pregnancies happened in florida. So i dont want to slam florida. Id rather get back to making fun of washington, d. C. As you know the Football Team is finally taking a stand and changing the name of the redskins. I will say, in their defense, back when they named the team the redskins, it was only very racist. But i also have to give credit where credit is due, out of respect for native americans, the redskins have kept their name out of super bowl lineups for nearly 30 years. Honestly, theyre probably just psyched to not be talking about concussions . Im fascinated when the nfl takes a moral or benevolent stand on something. Remember when all the players had the pink ribbons on for Breast Cancer . That was always so wild to me because that was so clearly a pr move. Some publicists sat them down and were like, we are getting some bad press. We need to align with a charity to help our reputation so we need to pick a cause. What do you guys care about . Whats important to you . Whats on your mind . They were like, boobs . We heard some were in danger. You know women get other kinds of cancer right . We do have other body parts. Heart disease 1 killer of women. They were like what about a ribbon for Heart Disease . They were like, isnt that where the feelings come from . Thats gonna get me in trouble. Whatever. I just felt myself getting canceled. I felt the internet preparing to cancel me. Everything gets everyone in trouble now. People now can find anything to be divided about like the fact that people have managed to politicize wearing a face mask in a pandemic. And it makes me so angry because i dont have the power to force everyone to do this one small thing that saves lives. But what i do have are a very particular set of skills. Skills i have acquired over a very long career. I can roast these fools on national television. Its the roast of maskless idiots with roast master, whitney cummings. First up, weve got the chicos all lives matter fall collection. Looks like karencon got off to a slow and rocky start when these women kept calling the cops on the security guards. This looks like a casting call for a lifetime movie about women who drown their kids in a station wagon. Now, lets take a look at this dumb moron. Nothing like empty rolls of toilet paper jammed on your head to let people know youve got actual [ bleep ] for brains. Dude, what is on your face . You look like a sea turtle stuck in a six pack ring. Also, cool bracelet i think we can move on. What this guy should have done with his sharpie is color in the parts of his head where the plugs didnt take. Look, i get it. Hes trying to make a point that masks are just making us feel safe, when it turns out youre not really safe at all. Kind of like the feeling you get when you date a guy who can write stuff backwards in a mirror. You creep. Anyway. Have you ever just wanted to drive your car straight into a wall . My guess is he only bought this expensive suit because he was told mexico would pay for it. Why wont guys just wear masks . It helps you get chicks. Put on the mask. Theres a strong chance well flirt with you because well think youre a surgeon. Its like seeing a girl in a hooters shirt, she probably works there and even if she doesnt, that girls a party. Now, this next genius is holding a sign that says i will not mask my unborn child. Oh honey. Youre not wearing a mask in a pandemic. Opinnsxpssed here tonight are my own. I dont want jimmy getting any backlash and more importantly any credit for anything you hear tonight. Anyway im obsessed with this woman. I cant wrap my head around how she hates science, but loves a fun orange slide. This summer, beat the heat with open toes and an open casket. Its amazing to me that some women refuse to wear a mask. Which is wild. Its like, metal underwire bras that stabs our boobs for twelve hours and digs into our rib cage . Fine. A polyester string that saws up into our crevices . Absolutely. But a soft piece of cloth that stops an invisible, and possibly deadly virus . Back off [ bleep ], ill spit on your baby so, its been about eight minutes which is more than enough time for a woman to be talking at you so were going to take a break and be back with music from the amazing rema. And i will be joined by my very funny friend eric andre so get ready to see a naked man. See you soon. Dicky Abcs Jimmy Kimmel live, brought to you by old navy. But 2020 had us shook. So we gave the world another look. And saw a future of differences celebrated. Every voice heard and advocated. Where everyone can show their pride. cause love should never have to hide. Theres a world of possibility that cant exist with you versus me. It will take work, thats indisputable. But oh [orange] hey, whats up guys . [ginger] oh my god [captain] orange, why are you naked . [orange] oh god, is my camera on . [captain] ill never unsee this. [orange] okay hold on. Hows that . [miscellaneous reactions of disgust] [orange] floridas finest baby. [miscellaneous reactions of disgust] vo verizon knows how to build unlimited right. Start with americas most awarded network. Give people more plans to mix and match at a price built for everyone. With 700 off our best phones when you switch. Because everyone deserves the best. This is unlimited built right. With this one little nexgard chew comes the confidence, youre doing whats right, to protect your dog from fleas and ticks for a full month. And its the only chew, fda approved to prevent infections that cause lyme disease. Nexgard. What one little chew can do. Day trips are better than daydreams. Alexa, lock e front door. Exrience the joy day trips are better than daydreams. Of a bigger world, in a highlyconnected lexus hybrid. Visit your local lexus dealer, in person or online, for exceptional offers, at the golden opportunity sales event. Experience amazing at your lexus dealer. This iced coffe could wake you up. This frappe could be considered a date. Whatever this order is for you, well be here to take it. Any size soft drinks are just a dollar at mcdonalds. Whitney welcome back to jimmy kimmel live. Im whitney bummings. Tonight on the show, he just released a compilation with three new singles. His videos get tens of millions of views online. And he is the apple musics up next artist. Music from rema is on the way. Tomorrow night, my favorite millionaire grump, Sebastian Maniscalco will assume guest hosting responsibilities. And ghosting responsibilities. He never texts me back. Hell be joined by kelly ripa and Ryan Seacrest as well as nfl star j. J. Watt. My guest tonight is a comedian who finally lost his standup special virginity to a lucky lady named netflix. Its called legalize everything and its available now. Please welcome eric andre. Thank you, whitney cummings. What up . Booyah whitney this is kind of intimate, oddly, because ive been doing zoom dates in quarantine. But this is not a date, to be clear. In real life . Whitney ive been doing zoom dates. I want you to know this is an interview for a talk show. This isnt a date. Have you really gone on a zoom date . Whitney yeah, many. You havent . I got a girlfriend. I got on dates live. Whitney no, ive been going on zoom dates, which its better, you can control the lighting. At that point, id just rather get corona. Zoom dates. What are we doing here . Whitney i was talking to one of the producers who said you got your mom high recently . Whats up . Yeah. I smoked weed with my mom. Shes 700 years old. There it is. Shes 700 years old. The last time she smoked weed was 1959. She was, like, i tried smoking grass in the 50s, and it burned my throat. So she took a 50, 60year break and now im getting her lit. Whitney how did it go . What kind of high was she . She did not like it. Shes like me, we started playing scrabble and she got all dizzy, and she went, my mouth is dry, is that part of the appeal . Then i got her some wine. Shes like, give me my wine please, she likes like, 7eleven wine. Whitney sutter home, dont knock it. I have a couple other questions. Whos on your shirt . Oprah. Oprah winfrey. Whitney if im high and looking at a picture of oprah winfrey, i feel like that would be a spiritual experience. I want to go on a zoom date with oprah. Whitney your special. I cringed, i screamed, i laughed. I gasped. It was so fun to watch. Youre sweet. I want that whi. For my next special. Thats the kind of budget. I said, can we have two actors make out on stage . What, are we made of money . Whitney gets a robot of herself. Yeah, there is a bit, i dont want to give it away. There is a bit where you help an audience member work through their childhood trauma. I was screaming. Thank you. Where did you get that robot . Whitney why do you want to interview me . Im interviewing you, eric. Im having a conversation. When i talk you listen. Whitney this is like a zoom date by the way. Youre kind of fun. Have you dated any comedians . You do not want to talk about that, do you . Whitney i have not dated any comedians, no. I dated one that i have a strict never, i have a strict, never date a comedian policy. Whitney no. Its already like high school. And i just dont want any, i want a boundary. Whitney im not trying to date you. You dont have to set this boundary with me. Im not flirting with you, im not interested. Youre like, i would never date a female comedian, ever. People are so obsessed with your show. People run up to me on the street and go, do you know eric andre . Youre a genius. You are sweet. Whitney what am i looking at here . I got rid of all my body hair, i waxed, i spray tanned, i suntanned, i gained 20 to 25 pounds. Thats me at 205, im usually about 180, 185. I bleached my teeth. I wore really nasty brut cologne. Whitney are you running from the law . Whats going on . Im doing a body transformation every seen, and i get recognized more often now, so i wanted to look like vin diesel got run over by a train. I feel like vin diesel when he takes time off between fast and furious movies and hes smokin cigarettes on a balcony . [ bleep ], im between seasons, give me a break. Whitney i am obsessed with this. I love when a man in hollywood gains weight, hes like a genius artist. And when a woman gains weight, they just dont get to work anymore. I know, its not fair. Charlize thereon. Whitn youre right. One woman did it, and she got the oscar. Yeah. There you go. Whitney thats what i need to do. I love you. I could talk to you forever and hopefully ill get to. But for now, these people are going to murder me. No worries, i love you so much. Whitney legalize, nothing makes me laugh. I went emotionally numb years ago, and this is the only thing that brought me joy. It is absolutely brilliant, i love you, eric andre. I love you, too. Whitney get some new wifi. Ill have some salsa. When we come back, we have music place that you laughed about well the names have all changed since you hung around but those dreams have remained and theyve turned around whod have thought theyd lead ya back here where we need ya welcome back, america. It sure is good to see you. Whitney welcome back to jimmy kimmel live. Im your single serving host, whitney cummings. Last year, his song was on obamas summer playlist. Now, hes making his late night tv debut. Here with the song iron man, rema hmm because i catch cold i dey i dey catch cold baby hold my hand make i no go catch cold i dey catch cold i dey i dey catch cold baby hold my hand make i no go catch cold let me give you love you the one i want to love baby come and sing my song you dey make me wan dey give you more girly me adore inner me life you belong tell her baby m make my thing dey long long baby come make i be your iron man baby you must to be fine baby i be your iron man follow me go you must to be my baby you must to be my fine baby come make i be your iron man man aahh aahh bend your head and kneels and toes bend am whine carry your load and go gimme your love and soul carry your and aww oya bend am whine am slow anything you want baby o i go give you love baby o hmm baby o baby o hmm baby o baby o anything you want baby iba o you mt toe baby you must to be fine baby come make i be your iron man follow me go you must to be my baby you must to be my fine baby come make i be your iron man man aahh aahh cheetos has popcorn now . Hey, im going to need you to. Never mind. Cant touch this. Help you cant touch this. You cant touch this. You cant touch this. I trust you. Stop, hammer time right now, there are over a million Walmart Associates doing their best to keep our nation going. Because despite everything thats changed, one thing hasnt and thats our devotion to you and our communities. Our priority will always be to keep you and our associates safe, while making sure you can still get the essentials you need. Tomorrow can only be better with wendys breakfast. Win with a breakfast baconator, honey butter chicken biscuit, sausage egg and swiss croissant, or a maple bacon chicken croissant free with mobile order purchase. Tomorrows lookin good vo verizon knows how to build unlimited right. Start with americas most awarded network. Give people more plans to mix and match at a price built for everyone. With 700 off our best phones when you switch. Because everyone deserves the best. This is unlimited built right. Hold on one second. Sure. Okay. Okay safe drivers save 40 guys guys check it out. Safe drivers save 40 safe drivers save 40 safe drivers save 40 thats safe drivers save 40 . It is, thats safe drivers save 40 . Hes right there. Its him hes here. Hes right here. Hi hi. Hey thats totally him. Its him thats totally the guy. Safe drivers do save 40 . Click or call for a quote today. Whitney thats all the time we have tonight. Id like to thank eric andre, rema and molly kimmels husband. Sebastian maniscalco will host tomorrow with his guests kelly ripa, Ryan Seacreast and j. J. Watt. Nightline is next. And im being told i have actually been cancelled now so goodnight oh, im sweating. I worked hard oh, very nice. Still got it. Promising results from a covid vaccine. I spoke to one to have first people to receive the trial inoculation, as well as experts about whats next. Big decisions tonight. The Police Department could be defunded by 50 and Police Traffic stops could be a thing of the past in berkeley. Several School Districts in the south bay say Distance Learning will likely lead the start of the year. Hern theforecast. Omingup building a thisbc i think its great. Its the best news we could gett a vaccine for covid19 developed here in the united states. Abc7 News Reporter kate larson spoke to local experts and one of the first people injected with the vaccine. Reporter an experimental covid19 vaccine developed by Massachusetts Company moderna, produced a rapid and strong immune response in all 45 people. Its a wonderful triumphant. Reporter he says the phase one analysis, published tuesday, is encouraging. Normally it takes some