New york city, its the tonight show starring jimmy fallon tonight join jimmy and his guests michael che and colin jost kaitlyn dever. Musical guest bts and featuring the legendary roots crew and now heres your host, jimmy fallon [ cheers and applause jimmy oh, my goodness. Hello, everyone. Thank you for so much for tuning in. Welcome to the tonight show, everybody. Lets get to the news and jokes. Well guys, after two days of controversy today President Trump finally did the right thing and forcefully rejected White Supremacy. Take a look. [ tone ] [ laughter ] jimmy im kidding. He hasnt done that at all and as a result, republicans are distancing themselves from the president. The president s debate performance has sparked a torrent of criticism that even his most ardent allies have struggled to contain. And republicans on capital are hill are now distancing themselves from the president after he fail to disavow a a farright fascist group. Jimmy its been six month of a pandemic and now
Thank you me, thank you me very much youre all very happy that im here at e United Nations and then wow, just look at all of the room full of diverse cultures and ethnicities seriously, its like the scariest College Brochure ive ever seen. I know youre all thinking its so great to be here with me for the last four to six hours of my presidency [ laughter ] who knew, you make one phone call blackmailing a foreign leader and everyone acts like you made one phone call blackmailing a foreign leader. [ laughter ] i guess its like the old saying, collude once, shame on u. Third time [ laughter ] but now it looks like my whistles been blown and not in a good way. It was a lowdown blowdown. Agd now ill have to face off grandma, nancy pelosi. Thats right nancys gone totally ukraine in the membrane [ laughter ] but luckily she has no evidence against me only calls and transcripts and the fist pump i just gave the ukrainian president on my way out here, whats up, buddy unfairly for me ukraine isn
[ cheers applause ] it is an honor for you to be here welcome to the white house or as i call it maralago north [ laughter ] i have to tell you i was up all night tossing and turning and trying to answer the questions on everyones mind who is the mask singer i mean it could benbe anyone. I could be shannon dorothy lets get to it. It is time for my least favorite part any questions . Whos the whistleblower did you get my story straight . Mike pence in the back room is saying mother, things are looking great. Hes hiding some where in the car. Who would have thought this huge hand would be caught in the cookie jar i know i took your vape pen weeks ago but now i need a hit i really would love one. Between the whistle blowing and my twitter over flowing, i feel like i am standing in deep and you know it is in the word but i could not. If there is a chance, pelosi comes up short i might stay afloat tonight [ applause ] i am not done, only i can say fired there is no fired, possibly Rudy Giul
On his final morning in the middle east today, Vice President pence visited the western wall in jerusalem and placed a small white note of prayer in its cracks, right next to trumps. [ light laughter ] according to the new york times, attorney general Jeff Sessions was questioned by special counsel Robert Muellers office last week for several hours. But despite muellers tenacity, sessions said he would not disclose the location of me pot of gold. [ light laughter ] following reports that President Trump carried on an affair with a porn star shortly after the birth of his youngest son, the head of the conservative Family Research council said in a new interview that trump deserves a doover. Okay, but i doubt shed still be into it. [ light laughter ] according to vanity fair, white house staffers have nicknamed chief of staff john kelly, quote, the church lady. Steve bannon lives in a van down by the river. [ laughter and applause ] yesterday was president and melania trumps 13th wedding
Placed a small white note of prayer in its cracks, right next to trumps. [ light laughter ] according to the new york times, attorney general Jeff Sessions was questioned by special counsel Robert Muellers office last week for several hours. But despite muellers tenacity, sessions said he would not disclose the location of me pot of gold. [ light laughter ] following reports that President Trump carried on an affair with a porn star shortly after the birth of his youngest son, the head of the conservative Family Research council said in a new interview that trump deserves a doover. Okay, but i doubt shed still be into it. [ light laughter ] according to vanity fair, white house staffers have nicknamed chief of staff john kelly, quote, the church lady. Steve bannon lives in a van down by the river. [ laughter and applause ] yesterday was president and yesterday was president and melania trumps 13th wedding anniversary. At least according to the wall next to melanias bed. [ laughter and