You . Announcer its the late show with Stephen Colbert. Tonight too secret service. Plus, stephen welcomes laura dern. And musical guest kesha. Featuring jon batiste and stay human. And now, live on tape from the ed sullivan theater in new york city, its Stephen Colbert cheers and applause stephen wooo yeah come on come on beautiful beautiful hey, why not . Great. Shorten it up. Its beautiful. Hey, welcome hello, my friends, up there, down here, down there. Hello, jon. Audience Stephen Stephen Stephen Stephen stephen so excited. Hey thank you very much. Welcome. Welcome, one and all, to the late show. Im your host, Stephen Colbert. And it is cheers and applause as you can tell, as you can tell by this crowd, it is friday. cheers and applause and that means and if to you that means blowing off work to chillax with your buds, then you are the president of the united states, because we jst learned that last year, trump spent one out of every five days at one of his golf clubs. And, rememb
Me. Im sure they will be upset about missing their endoscopys. Of having done the prep without the procedure. Thats what they will be really irritated at. Its all right. They all know. I am keenly aware we you are here. We have about 30 minutes im going to be a facilitator of paul talking. I want to thank you for entitling chapter 2 practice and policy. What that taught me is if you highlight a word. Will know exactly what im talking about. The revolution that john just mentioned, im going to say john, even though its doctor. Was, the only time in recorded history that a slave revolt has led to the founding of a nation. When we heard about the french revolution, and its probably red promises of liberty. How could that be true if there were slaves . How could that be a human rights revolution . The answer is the haitians said it couldnt be true. It wasnt real. No offense to anybody here who is from france. Especially because i really love french food. It could not be meaningful without
Out. How highly trained dogs are finding and saving koalas from the bush fire. Heres todays eye opener, your world in 90 seconds. The senate will begin the third impeachment trial of a sitting president in our nations history. The house prepares to send articles of impeachment. Our opponents say were not going to win, lets impeach President Trump. Final debate before the iowa caucus. Between Bernie Sanders and Elizabeth Warren its incomprehensible that i would think that a woman cannot be president of the United States. New video has emerged showing two iranian missiles striking a ukrainian jet liner killing all 176 people on board. A Delta Airline flight dumped jet flew on several Elementary School students. Boston red sox fired manager alex cora for his role in the astros sign stealing scheme. Nothing says cheating like baseball. Michael flynn files a motion to withdraw his guilty plea. The roof collapses in South Carolina during a micro burst. And all that matters. Youre not on the
The sequel to top gun. So what . Heres something i realized over this break. Kids dont know theres money anymore. Theyve seen it, but they dont know what its for, because we buy everything on the phone and the computer. They dont see anything change hands. They just see hands. My daughter is 5 years old, shes playing with my ipad, and these criminals who make these apps for kids. Its not enough you pay for the app. They have addons, too. Its a neverending money hole. If you want the puppy to have a pink hat, its an extra 2. 99. Not only do they have addons but a monthly charge. If your kids in the middle of a game and they want to keep going you have to subscribe and pay every month. And good luck trying to cancel it. Its like trying to find a Blockbuster Video store. Its impossible. Five times i tried to cancel this unicorn shep app, a stupid app where a horse makes cake. My daughter played this once a year ago. 36 later, im still paying for it. I dont know how to cancel it. I had to