The sequel to top gun. So what . Heres something i realized over this break. Kids dont know theres money anymore. Theyve seen it, but they dont know what its for, because we buy everything on the phone and the computer. They dont see anything change hands. They just see hands. My daughter is 5 years old, shes playing with my ipad, and these criminals who make these apps for kids. Its not enough you pay for the app. They have addons, too. Its a neverending money hole. If you want the puppy to have a pink hat, its an extra 2. 99. Not only do they have addons but a monthly charge. If your kids in the middle of a game and they want to keep going you have to subscribe and pay every month. And good luck trying to cancel it. Its like trying to find a Blockbuster Video store. Its impossible. Five times i tried to cancel this unicorn shep app, a stupid app where a horse makes cake. My daughter played this once a year ago. 36 later, im still paying for it. I dont know how to cancel it. I had to google thousand c app. Go to settings, check no, i was like, to hell with it. Its now part of our monthly budget. And, because of the ipad, my kids probably arent going to college anyway. Ill just take the money out of that. The single most helul thing a person can do is cancel an app. My daughter wants to buy something and i have the face id on. All i have to do is hold it up to my face and its paid for. But that also means hey, dad, look at this, and i go like this, and 3. 99 flies right out of my possibility. Shes using my face like the t e tom cruise. Today iran launched a military attack against troops in iraq. But this is when it becomes particularly preposterous that our president is donald trump. We might be at war. And this guy, you know what hes busy, hes bragging. He gave a doozy of an interview to rush limbaugh, during which he claims to have wiped out isis, which he has not and boasted he was having dinner with Mark Zuckerberg and zuckerberg congratulated hem for bei being number one on facebook which he also is not. Our country is being run by the equivalent of a giant foam finger. Hes not number one on facebook. This is such a lie, Mark Zuckerberg immediately posted it to facebook. We also dont know when or if the dinner, these dinner he said they had took place. Its entirely possible he met some guy in a hoodie and assumed it was Mark Zuckerberg. A republican congressman, paul gosart of arizona, his own siblings took out an attack ad against hem durgim during midte. He tweeted this photo of president obama shaking hands with rouhani quoting the world is a better place without these guys in power. This photo is fake. Obama never met the guy. After multiple people pointed out this air, gosart wrote number one, like no one said this wasnt photo no one said obama met rue haouhn person. Is that the standard now . You can post whatever thing you want and leave it to us to figure out if its poehoto . Because if thats case, i have a photo of gosart being skbra jared of subway. This is not photo shopped. This is donald trump shaking tiny hands with the guy who ordered the killing of a journalist. Yesterday they announced theyre planning to ban deep fake videos. Youve seen them, theyre morphed to make it seem like someone said something they didnt. Facebook should ban everything except birthdays and pictures of our exes getting fat. But this is serious stuff. Before the ban on deep fakes takes effect we wanted to get one under the wire, specifically, this episode of donald trump on the show toddlers and i said get out of my room. Melissas next contestant at number four. Bren is full of drama. Theres no way of saying thats not true. Thats part of her personality. Those people are jealous. Im not nervous, cause i know i rock the stage. Jimmy thats where the tanning started. Todays a notable day for our galaxy. On this date in 161 161 161 you know, the guy from the queen song . He discovered that the earth does not revolve the sun. Many of the same people believe the earth is flat, like a tor tee yeah. Theyre called flat earthers, and they have conventions and shirts and mugs and the whole deal. We sent our pal, jake bird, to a fla flat earth conference in dallas, texas. Here he is, jake bird, with the people who live on a pancake. Hey, jake right here at the flat Earth Convention in dallas, texas. I got three flats, so thats a sign. Flat, flat, flat, there we go. Thats the way, right there. Thats it. Look at this. Yeah, yeah. Did you have a head injury too . No, not yet. Theyre actors, of course. Yeah, they all get paid. Look at me, mom, floatin in space. No, youre not, youre liein to the whole human race. I dont think i want to wait around and see if nasas lying to me or not. I this we already know. Were tired of the you cant eat raw chicken and play with raw coyotes. You cant drink pee from the pee that you drank . Wouldnt that be more sterile than the first pee . We know something and theres no such thing as knowing. Theres no knowing anything. Thank you, ergo. Mark sergeant was one of the first guys i found when i was waking up. Once you go down the rabbit hole, you just know. Exactly. When you know, you know. Can i blow your mind for a second . My moms sex friend, randall, was over, and i was playing with his record condition. He knocked me right in the mini fridge. When i came up, i was holding one of the records. The shape of the record . Flat. Guess what record it was . I dont know. Who was the biggest band in 1971 . Earth wind and fire. And what was their album cover . Look at this. A pyramid. The symbol of the illuminati. And whos drummer for earth wind and fire . Dont know. John paris. And what group is from paris . The templars. And when did the pope kill them . Friday the 13th. And whos bad guy in friday the 13th . Jason . Freddie. Freddie. And what do you call an apartment in england . No idea. A flat. And who lives in an apartment in england . What satanist . Harry potter. And what month did he go to school to become a satanist . September. And who had the biggest song called september . Earth wind and fire. I dont know about that. And wheres my moms sex friend randall now . No idea. I think in ft. Lauderdale. Flat earthers. Welcome to the flat earth conference 2019. Please take your seats. I want to bring out to the stage a friend thats very special to me. Mark sergeant. Mark sergeant, main man. Hes the main man. You know this works, because the screen will change to googlo earth letters. Go to settings huh . Go to settings. Go to settings. Thank you for that. Thank you. There it is, perfect. Thank you, tech support. All right. My name is mark sergeant, and im a proud flat earther. The globe is already dead. They just dont know it yet. Long live flat earth. Thank you. [ applause ] all right, do we have time for a few questions . Yes, you. Thank you for confronting nasa which Everybody Knows means not always telling truths. We all know for a fact that the earth is flat, okay, but is there a general consensus as to how thick it is . Because no. Say im digging a hole because i got to bury a few dogs. Am i just dropping a garbage bag full of dogs into outer snpace . I dont know how thick is, how deep is the deepest hole . Eight miles. If science cant go further than this, we dont have to, either. [ applause ] he is awesome. This is easier to understand than this. You say that doesnt mean its right. Its like, isnt it . Why not . We believe all sorts of things. The public tends to lean toward the easiest explanation. Gross, gross, pretty flat earth. Quick question. No, no. How can i talk to my kids about the earth being flat when i cant legally talk to my kids. No, im doing an interview. Youre following him, dude. You keep getting on the side of the interview. Dont act like im stupid. Why would i think youre stupid . Dont do that. I got a quick question. No, oh, my god. No. Why would the expression daryl hannah fell off the face of the earth exist if the earth wasnt flat . Interview. Interview. I got a press conference after this. Thank you. You were here smashing a ball. I watched it with my own eyes. Stay out of the shot. I was out of the shot, but are we okay . Yeah. Listen. This isnt about saying the earth is flachlt its about being open minded. Did you know this guy was controlled opposition when he gave this really stupid question about burying dogs . I dont know what controlled opposition means. Youve never buried a dog, scott . What is the sflob. Im asking what name did you register under . Im just asking you to verify that you are jake. Illuminati, im getting too close to the truth and they want me out. Weve been called everything. Ill literal. Clear evidence that there is broken foster system. What else are we called . Many different things. I dont have a problem with you being here. This bar code, sir, should scan your name. Okay. Go scan it. I need to verify with your identification. You need a scanner. Things are really heating up here at the flat Earth Convention. Do you have your identification . What does it come up as . Jake. Heres my top choice video dvd rental. Big ball club. You dont have any form of state identification . You know what . If you guys want to kick me out, ill just go. No, fine, fine. Can i get a refund for this . Thats town this man. Well, thats it for me goodbye, stupid round world. Check out [cheers and applause] jimmy im convinced. Oh, hey, look at tha tha [cheers and applause] thank you, jake, for teaching us. All right. Sonts, tonight we have a fun show. Music from Taylor Hawkins and the coattail riders. Greta gerwig is here and well be right back with Rachel Brosnahan. So stick [ applause ] dicky Abcs Jimmy Kimmel live, brought to you by allstate. And my lack of impulse control, is about to become your problem. Ahh no, come on. I saw you eating poop earlier. Hey my focus is on the road, and thats saving me cash with drivewise. Whos the dummy now . Whoof whoof so get allstate where good drivers save 40 for avoiding mayhem, like me. Sorry hes a baby fishrisotto. Buffalo. Buffalo Wild Wings gelato. Curry. Cacciatori. Chimichurri. Fried turkey. Blueberry. Mcflurry. mcdonalds cheese cake. Cheesecake Factory grilled steak. Clam bake. Milkshake. We are americas kitchen. Doordash. Every flavor welcome. Your happy place. Find your breaking point. Then break it. Every emergenc gives you a potent blend of nutrients so you can emerge your best, with emergenc. I just feel stuck, doc. And im hearing voices. You feel stuck. Because you are stuck. 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If you have hepatitis b, do not stop taking biktarvy without talking to your doctor. Common side effects were diarrhea, nausea, and headache. If youre living with hiv, keep loving who you are. And ask your doctor if biktarvy is right for you. Nothing beats wendys four for four. Choose any of these sandwiches. Plus nuggets, fries and a drink for just four bucks. Youll wonder why you ever settled for less. sighs get your four for four at wendys. [cheers and applause] jimmy thank you. Tonight, she is the Creative Force behind the new movie little women. The very talented greta gerwig is here. Then, he is a fighter of foo. His new album is called get the money. Taylor hawkins and the coattail riders from the mercedesbenz stage. Taylor will be joined by dave grohl on the drums. Tomorrow, john cena and rupaul will be here, with music from dermot kennedy. You cant stay, im sorry. And on thursday, michael b. Jordan, January Jones and cigarettes after sex. So please join us then. Jimmy our first guest was born in the 90s, plays a standup comedian in the 50s, and won an emmy and two Golden Globes in the 10s. She plays Miriam Maisel on the marvelous mrs. Maisel. Season 3 is on amazon prime now. Please welcome Rachel Brosnahan. [cheers and jimmy its very good to see you. How you doin . Great. Jimmy youre blond. Which one of you is dying your hair . She is. Jimmy she is. She, me, we are one, but shes wearing a wig. Jimmy its very unusual to go from blond in a movie or tv show to brunette. It usually goes the other way around. Now im confused which way were going. I am blond. I am naturally blond. Jimmy same here. But i was dying my hair for a very long time. And i wear a wig on the show, and i have an incredible hair and makeup team who make the wig so seamless that in real life people dont know that im really blond and they get somewhat disappointed and confused. Jimmy disappointed. I am a constant disappointment. Jimmy do they look at you and say, i know you from where. Recently, kevin pollack and i were at an event, and there was a woman who waited in the line, and she not up to the front, and she goes, and i said hi, im rachel. Its so nice to meet you. And she goes, you dont look anything like mrs. Maisel. I was like, yeah, im actor. And she was, you dont look anything like her. And i was like, oh, well we have a great hair and makeup team on the show. And she goes, you dont sound like her, either. And i kind of went, this is kevin. Jimmy kevin, you handle this. She believed kevin was kevin on the show. She did. He was very recognizable. I am so glad that the character is so well loved. Jimmy it does give you a little freedom you might not otherwise have. Totally, yeah. Jimmy so you were at the Golden Globes on sunday. You won the last two years in a row. Were you disappointed not to win this year . No. A, im huge, huge fan. And im excited for them. Also, when you win, its amazing. Thats very exciting and great, but you get kind of whisked off back stage and you dont get to hang out at the table with your friends, and you definitely dont get to drink. So this year i got to drink all night. Jimmy oh, you did. Yeah. It was great. Best ever. Yeah. [ applause ] jimmy that definitely works out better. You kind of get abducted and theres a whole bunch of reporters back stage. Yeah, they dont feed you. They dont let you drink. Jimmy but you do get to eat at the Golden Globes, right . Yes. Jimmy thats one of the big perso perks of the show. Yeah, you dont have to hide snacks in your purse. Jimmy who were you with at this fest. I brought my husband. Jimmy does he like that sort of thing . Yeah. Yes, mostly yes. We have a good time. Especially this year, like i said, we got to drink, but no, it was great. It went off without a hitch. We were, although there was one almostincident that ended up being okay, but we were all in line, it was a long line, waiting to have our photos taken, and we were chatting it up with amy poehler and the morning show and jason batesman. Rami malek was there. Were all hanging out, and rami looked at my husbands bow tie and said hold on, your bow tie is askew, went to fix it and we realized that this clipon bow tie, because theyre easier, had completely fallen apart. And we are like, oh, no, we are inches from having our photo taken. What are we going to do . This is a major crisis. All these famous people are on the floor looking for this clip. Jimmy who was on the floor looking for the clip . Amy was on the floor, rami was on the floor. People say celebrities are mean, kmo hollywood is a toxic place. We felt very supported. Jimmy when theres an emergency situation like that, can you really count on mr. Robot in that type of scenario. Rami turns to us, rami finds it and goes, guys, ive got this. And he did. Somehow he mcgcguyered the thin. Jimmy do you know snhim . We crossed paths a couple times. He was a good person. He didnt want him to look stupid. Jimmy what did you do for the holidays . We went and visited the families but we had everyone in new york for thanksgiving. Jimmy by everyone you mean both your families. Yes. Jimmy does that work okay . They interact well . Yeah, the best part about my motherinlaw. Shes so smart and funny and kind and brave. But the best part about her is that she, she makes me look good in front of my husband. For example. Im really, really, really terrible at song lyrics, especially in the classics. Jimmy like remembering the song lyrics . Like ive misheard many lyrics. Jimmy give me one. You know the song livin on a prayer. The real line is gina works the diner all day but for my whole life until recently, i thought the line was gina must have died of old age and it has a totally different meaning. But my motherinlaw makes me look amazing. She takes the cake. We were all out to dinner over thanksgiving in new york, and were all talking about what were going to order and someone goes, i think im going to have the halibut. And my motherinlaw goes whats that song about hal but thibut. And were all like, i dont know. And she starts humming, and she goes hmm, hmm, hmm, and were like, what song could that be . And it goes on for a really long time. Were just starving. We want to order. And finally, she goes, i have it its that song. Aint no halibut girl aint no halibut girl and we were like, thank you. Hi, mom. Jimmy gwen stephani. Did she order the halibut . No. Shell never order it again. Jimmy more with Rachel Brosnahan, after this. Dicky portions of Jimmy Kimmel Live are brought to you by bookingdotcom, a leading digital travel brand that makes it easier for everyone to experience the world. whistling Liberty Mutual customizes your car insurance, so you only pay for what you need. I wish i could shake your hand. Granted. Only pay for what you need. Liberty. Liberty. Liberty. Liberty. 12. 99 all you can eat now with boneless wings. Only at applebees. Trumpand total disaster. Mplete let obamacare implode. Nurse these wild attacks on healthcare hurt the patients i care for. Ive been a nurse in new york for thirty years. I know the difference leadership can make because i saw what Mike Bloomberg did as mayor. Vo mayor bloomberg helped lower the number of uninsured by 40 , covering 700,000 more new yorkers, Life Expectancy increased. He helped expand Health Coverage to 200,000 more kids and upgraded pediatric care infant mortality rates dropped to record lows. And as mayor, Mike Bloomberg always championed Reproductive Health for women. So when you hear Mike Bloomberg on health care. Mrb this is america. We can certainly afford to make sure that everybody that needs to see a doctor can see a doctor, everybody that needs medicines to stay healthy can get those medicines. Nurse you should know, he did it as mayor, hell get it done as president. Mrb im Mike Bloomberg and i approve this message. Why are you mad at me . Its your fault your daughters a comedian. How so . You gave her the oompa. It was your penis she was talking about on stage, not mine. Whoops, my mother just said that. Yeah. Because penis is a funny word. I learned this about comedians. They say funny words for cheap laughs. If you had a penis. Shed be talking about you, not me. Wouldnt you talk about your mothers penis, if she had one. For hours and hours and hours. Jimmy well, its true. Absolutely true. Thats season three of the marvelous mrs. Maisel. Did you shoot that in new york . A lot of people say no, no, we were in bulgaria. No, we were in miami for a couple weeks. It would have been awesome if it wasnt like 700 degrees. Jimmy you shot there during the summer. It was during the summer. Jimmy thats bad planning. When you are in a show like this you cant go out and lay on the beach because all of a sudden youre tan suddenly. Well, i dont really have that problem. No, Alex Borestein and i might take the cake for the worlds palest people in hollywood. We cant go out in the daytime. Jimmy she is always a character whenever you see her do anything. She is so funny, and shes also maybe the smartest person ive ever met. Shes so funny because shes so smart. Well, most of the time. When we were in miami, we talking, were in miami. We have to go to the beach. Obviously, we cant go during the daytime. Jimmy like vampires. I mean, come on. So we wrapped shooting one night, and we were like, lets go to the beach this is a great time to go. We got ready, put on our bathing suits and went out onto miami beach. And we out there, and it was really quiet. There was no one on miami beach. Jimmy oh, really . No. And we were kind of looking at each other, do you think its cool, is it cool to be on miami beach in the meddle iddle of th night . So we pulled out our phones to see if it was okay to be where we were. The internet was inconclusive. So we kept going. We got to the water and were like, we should swim. Were never going to get in the water in the daytime. And we got in and were kind of up to our knees and were like, is it safe to be on miami beach in the middle of the night and google was inconclusive. The next morning we were talking to some crew members. We got our beach in. We went in the water. And they were like, what . Sharks come into the shallow end of the water in the middle of the night and feed. Jimmy thats what we learned from jaws. Thankfully, we didnt find out, that could have been a sad but also funny headline. Jimmy i think we learned from gremlins. Just dont get wet after midnight. Dont even take a bath after midnight. Youre exactly right. We didnt die, though. Were still here. Jimmy the show is great, and youve got season four already ordered. Jimmy Rachel Brosnahan season 3 of the marvelous mrs. Maisel is on amazon prime now. Well be right back with greta gerwig. [cheers and applause] sprint has great news for you and your family. Really great news you can get both an unlimited plan. sprintern . And the powerful new iphone 11 paul . Included for just 35 a month when you switch. sprintern whoa. What a deal. paul and, sprint has a 100 total satisfaction guarantee. While i think their network and savings are great, you dont just have to take my word for it. Try it out and see the savings for yourself. 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Kids enjoy the magic for just 67 per child per day, with a 3day 1park per day ticket. Jimmy welcome back to the show. Taylor hawkins is on the way. Our next guest is a multitalented oscar and goldenglobe nominated director, writer and actor who this year gave birth to a baby boy and a feature film all in one push. She is the writer and director of the movie little women. I just feel, i just feel likk women, they have minds. And they have souls as well as just hearts, and theyve got ambition, and theyve got talent as well as just beauty, and im so sick of people saying that, that love is all a woman is fit for. Im so sick of it but im, im so lonely. Jimmy little women is in theat theaters now. Please welcome greta gerwig. Jimmy congratulations on the movie and the baby, but not in that order, of course. Yes, baby first. Jimmy how old is your son now . He is now nine and a half months old. Jimmy nine and a half months old. Hes been out almost as long as he was in, right . Yeah. I know. Jimmy because its really ten months they say. Hes great, you know. Jimmy his names harold . His names harold. Jimmy thats a great baby name. Great grandfather. It was really hot in 1917 was the name harold. But we brought, we brought him to the pediatrician, and she was like old names are making a come back. Not harolds, but other old names. Jimmy do you call him harold or do you call him harry . We call him harold. Jimmy you might as well, you might as well go fullon harold. He looks like a harold. Jimmy i think all babies at that age look like harold. We all look like harold or leonard. Jimmy you grow out of harold and then you grow into harold. Theres a 65 year span where youre not very haroldy, then you get very haroldy. Yes, yes. Hes going to have to wait to come into his own, but its going to be amazing. Jimmy your partner, the babys dad is noah there you guys are on the cover of the Hollywood Reporter. It looks a little bit like you just had a fight. No. Yeah. No, you cant be holding hands, because like, yuck. So i was, like, lets serious and like, we might fight. Jimmy and indeed, you look like you are not just might, but in the middle of a fight. So he directed marriage story. Yes. Jimmy and wrote the movie as well. Yes. Jimmy and the two of you have these craitically acclaime movies that are up for all these other awards. I guess in a way, in a way. Jimmy not in a way. In. In. Yes, its true. Jimmy is this driving a wedge between the two of you, as evidenced in this photograph . No. No. Although ouiwe did have to chec with each other, because we vote in these things. It had to be, who did you put first . Jimmy is that how it works . You rank which one you think is number one . Thats right. Jimmy did you each put the others movie first . Nope. [ laughter ] i admire your honesty. The worst Case Scenario would be you put your movie first and he also put your movie first. Yes, no, everybodys selfish. Jimmy now this is a really, i hope its not embarrassing to you, but for Hollywood Reporter somebody snapped it and says she took the prize for the first alister to take her seat. There you are sitting alone at the golden globe. Are you always early to things . No, yes, i was two hours early to this. I was in an empty banquet hall. And i was, belwell because no o i was not nominated. Saoirse was nominated, but i was not nominated, but i was there to support noah, and he was doing all this press, and i was just there early. I was in this banquet hall with no one there, then i saw all the members of the Hollywood Foreign press sort of inside, and they were all like we voted for you, and they were like, you didnt, because i did not get nominated. Its not possible that all of you did. So i sat there alone. Then we had a wonderful plantbased meal. And i ate so many peoples soups. They were going to take them away before everybody arrived. And i was like, i got to eat all this soup. Its a problem. So is a l ate a lot of soup. Jimmy what kind of soup was it . It was like a butter nut squash thing. It was like something harold eat. It was great. Is a bunch ate a bunch of sou. And a friend texted me that photo because they were following along at home. Whats happening . Im just alone. Jimmy thank goodness you have your telephone with you. That is crazy. Thats right. Jimmy the cast, as you mentioned, its a fantastic cast. When you have a cast, theres nobody above meryl streep. Shes the top of the heap. Streep is the scene. Streep at the top of the heap. Im sure youve been asked many variations of this question. Is it the same as directing everyone else in the cast sore it different . Its different. Shes meryl streep. I feel like when i was directing her and saoirse ronan, jo, an amazing actress. The two of them together. They were doing a skeechbcene. It was her first day. I was like a parent chaperone at a middle school dance. I was like not the person who needs to be there. I was like, hows it going, guys . Do you need any okay, ill be over here by the punch. Just you guys. Just go for it. Jimmy what if meryl decided im going to have a spanish accent for this . Then thats what little women would be. Jimmy i admire your honesty. Jimmy greta gerwig little women is in theaters now. And well return with music from Taylor Hawkins and the coattail riders. Dicky the Jimmy Kimmel LiveConcert Series is presented by the 2020 gclass. Mercedes benz. The best or nothing. When you never lower your standards, only your fares, its a better class of sale. Emirates. Fly better. Dicky the Jimmy Kimmel LiveConcert Series is presented by mercedesbenz. The best or nothing. Jimmy id like to thank Rachel Brosnahan and greta gerwig. Apologies to matt damon. Nightline is next but first, this is his album, get the money. The song is called middle child. Here with help from david grohl, Taylor Hawkins and the coattail riders [ applause ] you clean your mess up almost every night your guilty conscience gets a hold of you the first one there you never make me wait another perfect daddy daughter date but you looked lost when you got home yesterday you came to me and i knew just what to say my little twin i am here with you stay close and we will make it through how i love you middle child i see angels when you smile and when i look into your eyes i could stay forever with you while the days turn in to night while we drift slowly drift to the sky ahh you got some questions things are bugging you fact of the matter as a matter of fact i feel resistance a lack of inspiration take a suggestion like a slap in the face when all you wanted was a slap on the back you never got that slap on the back no time is wasted if you seek the truth you got some questions things are bugging you how i love you middle child i see angels when you smile and when i look into your eyes i could stay forever with you while the days turn in to night while we drift slowly drift to the sky how i love you middle child i see angels when you smile and when i look into your eyes and when i look into your eyes i could stay forever with you while the days turn in to night while we drift slowly drift to the sky the sky oh the sky [cheers and applause] tonight, the act of revenge. Iranian state tv releasing video of what it says are missiles targeting military bases in iraq that house u. S. Troops. Days after u. S. Drone strike killed a top iranian commander. At u. S. Braced for retaliation and deployed 3600 more american troops to the middle east. Now the latebreaking details. What this latest provocation means in a heightened crisis. What President Trump is saying tonight. Iran strikes back, special edition of nightline will be right back