Well, stephen, as you may have heard, tomorrow night is the Series Finale of young sheldon. Stephen of course. Ive got my viewing party all planned. Its byob. Bring your own bazinga but what i meant was what are you doing here . Well, im preparing for my next role. Its as another prequel in the cbs universe. Stephen ooh, young tracker . No. Stephen young equalizer . Nope. Stephen young bob hearts Young Abishola . No. Young Stephen Colbert. Stephen well, i know youre talented, but do you really have what it takes to portray me . Im pretty complex. Dont worry. Ive studied countless hours of footage so i can capture your essence with the utmost accuracy. Stephen well, id love to see that. Okay. [clears throat] i love lord of the rings stephen wow that is uncanny congratulations. This show is going to be huge note to self learn how to walk like a pigeon with a wedgy. Announcer its the late show with Stephen Colbert tonight. Up for debates plus, stephen welcomes George Stephanopoulos and Mi
Like a sad ventriloquist puppet. [drumroll] this judge is giving me a gag order. [slams] no respect. Bong, bong, bing, bing, bing. Announcer its the late show with Stephen Colbert tonight. When the cohen gets tough plus, stephen welcomes Jennifer Hudson and marisa abela featuring louis cato and the late show band. And now, live on tape from the ed sullivan theater in new york city, its Stephen Colbert [cheers and applause] your number one. [cheers and applause] have a good show. Tuesday, tuesday, happy tuesday, baby. Happy tuesday, my friends. Hey thank you very much look at that. Here, down there. There we go. Welcome, my friends. Please, ladies and gentlemen, welcome to the late show. Im your host, Stephen Colbert. [cheering] the number one news story laying eggs in our National Brain continues to be the trump trial here in manhattan. The last four weeks have been full of lurid and shocking sexual revelations that we learned six years ago. Its been a real case of deja ewww. Once agai
Here hes an animal i am holding a child when asked if the baby was his, George Santos responded not yet was quote. Have you found yourself in a little hot water and need a way out . Let George Santos help. Introducing the santos diversion baby. The perfect tool for deflecting unwanted confrontation. Sandy, are you eating my yogurt again . Enjoy. Heres how it works. It simply contact santos diversion baby. When youre done place it in the provided selfaddressed box and mail it back to George Santos. Its that simple. Before you send are sentenced for triple homicide would you like to make a statement . Not guilty go santos diversion baby. We have no idea where George Santos is getting all these babies. Its the late show with Stephen Colbert tonight, air jordan to plus, stephen welcomes Jada Pinkett Smith and ricky velez featuring louis cato and the late show band and now, live on tape from new york city, its Stephen Colbert stephen welcome. Welcome one and all to the late show. Please hav
Lets go to the jersey shore hot dogs. Lets talk about hot dogs. I just had one, actually. First day in jersey, just something crazy goes down. The late, great Hannibal Lecter is a wonderful man. What the [bleep] is going on . Take me in, oh tender woman. Take me in, for heavens sake. If you want to make out with me, just ask. We have a much bigger crowd than bruce springsteen. Hes such a flagrant. [laughs] toxic narcissist. I only do this when i feel really comfortable with the crowd. Dude, your vagina is out. We love this shore. I know this shore better than most people that are here. Shut the [bleep] up announcer its the late show with Stephen Colbert tonight. Its cohen down for real plus, stephen welcomes Steve Carrell and musical guest paul simon. Featuring louis cato and the late show band. And now, live on tape from the ed sullivan theater in new york city, its Stephen Colbert [cheers and applause] stephen hey have a good show. Thank you, everybody. Please have a seat, ladies and
It looks like theyve got it maybe clamped down. But it should never have gotten to this and they should have done it a lot sooner. Are you looking for a university with no political protests . Look no further than Trump University. Trump university has stopped all student protests on campus by having no students and no campus. Unlike Trump University, most american universities make the mistake of existing. But Trump University had the wisdom to be shut down for fraud 13 years ago. Sign up at Trump University. Warning you cannot sign up for something that was shut down for racketeering. You cant set up a tent n a place that cant legally exist announcer its the late show with Stephen Colbert tonight. Breaking the grass ceiling. And Carol Burnett takes the colbert questionert. Plus, stephen welcomes phil keoghan and musical guest Jacob Collier. Featuring louis cato and the late show band. And now, live on tape from the ed sullivan theater in new york city, its Stephen Colbert stephen per