Here hes an animal i am holding a child when asked if the baby was his, George Santos responded not yet was quote. Have you found yourself in a little hot water and need a way out . Let George Santos help. Introducing the santos diversion baby. The perfect tool for deflecting unwanted confrontation. Sandy, are you eating my yogurt again . Enjoy. Heres how it works. It simply contact santos diversion baby. When youre done place it in the provided selfaddressed box and mail it back to George Santos. Its that simple. Before you send are sentenced for triple homicide would you like to make a statement . Not guilty go santos diversion baby. We have no idea where George Santos is getting all these babies. Its the late show with Stephen Colbert tonight, air jordan to plus, stephen welcomes Jada Pinkett Smith and ricky velez featuring louis cato and the late show band and now, live on tape from new york city, its Stephen Colbert stephen welcome. Welcome one and all to the late show. Please have a seat. No, please, thank you. Im your host, Stephen Colbert. A few of my viewers may notice tonight show looks a little different. Im not presently in. Sullivan theater. I am in. My house. This morning woke up feeling not great, flaming throat, little sweaty, coughing. I took one of those at home tests and it said that i am not pregnant. Then i took a covert test and it told me i am pregnant with covid. So i took three more tests and they all agreed. I just want to take a second here to salute the manufacturers for making such a consistent and reliable product, but didnt really have to be so reliable . I was really looking forward to meeting Jada Pinkett Smith tonight. The only upside is since im isolating, no one can slap me for having her name in my mouth. So thats it. I have covid19, again. Even though its 2023. I should at least have something new like covid 23, here it has a better camera and the u. S. Pc charging port so you can use it in europe. Right now im feeling lets say fine. Just a sore throat and a bad case of the lonelis, and i can hear you saying aww in my mind. For now im here in my curtain shop. I learned Something Interesting about Covid Protocols today. We still have them. That came as something of a surprise. Ive been told i can return to the office and do the show live once i test negative. So i will keep you abreast. Luckily im ready for this, i am basically doing the show podcaststyle end of got plenty of experience thanks to all my friends over at strike force five. So just of the show as stephen forced home. Im already in podcast mode, as you can see. Got all the equipment. Which reminds me, this episode brought to you by Ryan Reynolds mattresses. Now everyone gets to sleep with Ryan Reynolds. He probably owns a mattres company. Does he . I dont know. Theres no one here but me, im looking for someone as if someone elses here. He owns Something Else, hes got to have a mattress company. Do you know who else is probably feeling a little sick right now . The house g. O. P. They cant agree on a speaker after kicking out Kevin Mccarthy almost two weeks ago. When last we talked last thursday night and looked like they were going to pick louisiana congressman and man caught eating your invisible hoagie deeps kelis. By the time we aired that show on thursday was already clear he did not have the votes, so on friday the republicans tried again and nominated ohio congressman jim jordan. I just got a little nauseous. And i dont think its the co covid. Jordan is ultraconservative election denier and also a what happened at ohio state denier. You could not pick a worse man for speaker of the house and keep in mind the g. O. P. Just had Kevin Mccarthy, so they tried. The bad news here is that the new speaker might be jim jordan, but the good news is there is no good news. Luckily, and this is true, netflix has released a live stream of tiny baby animals at the cleveland zoo. Look at you wo would be a better speaker than jim jordan . You would look at you hes waking up, everybody stay quiet. Plus, there is still hope. Remember, to get elected, jordan or anyone else would need 217 27 boats and that feels nearly impossible in this fractured caucus as missouris mark elford explained. You could put jesus christ up and he wouldnt get 217 buried stephen thats true, he was soft on samaritans and demanded everyones all their possessions to give money to the poor. He was clearly a socialist. He was worth worse than a socialist, he was a christian. Cut your hair, leave sandals back at your yurt, comrade so jordan needs 217, which means he can only lose four votes and on sunday, and anonymous g. O. P. House member told cnn that there are roughly 40 no votes within the caucus and that he personally heard from 20 members who have pledged to block jordans path, so this weekend, jordan unleashed Pressure Campaign including posting the phone numbers of mainstream g. O. P. Lawmakers they count as old outs and encouraging followers to flood the capital switchboards with calls demanding they backed mr. Jordan or face the wrath of conservative voters and we all know what conservative voters used to express their wrath. Go poopoo stephen thank you, madam speaker. Just today jordan got the support of several holdouts including the support of allison mike alabama congressman and men who gets his hair cut at the lego factory, mike rogers. One of the sober lawmakers making this momentous decision tomorrow will be new york congressman George Santos, seen here wearing the seasons hottest inflatable pants. On friday, santos made headlines for getting into a confrontation with the protester who asked him about the conflict in israel. But thats not what got people talking. What got people talking was during this altercation santos was holding a mystery baby. Thats pretty weird. But keep in mind all babies are a mystery grade i fed you, i burped you, i changed you, its 3 00 a. M. , just tell me what you want, heres my debit card, the pin number is 5418, had a party when reporters asked if the baby was his, santos replied not yet. Forget qatar lavage, George Santos new alter ego is rumpelstiltskin santos later explained to the baby belonged to, introducing you to Kevin Mccarthy and saying one of my staffers baby, look at this baby, mr. Speaker so either he forgot that they voted mccarthy out, or hes telling us the baby is the new speaker. Fewer tantrums and more object permanence for jim jordan. Santos then posted a video about the incident to his twitter page or something kind of fun happened in the comments. One user asked him whats your favorite taylor swift song and santos responded bad blood. Dont judge me, im going through my reputation era was put it is not on the reputation album, it is on 1989 this man can even pretend to like taylor swift correctly. Oh, me . Im a total swiftie, mice favorite taylor swift song probably the one that goes its me, hi, im the problem, the real slim shady. Speaking of taylor swift, theres news about taylor swift [cheers and applause] hes calm down graded shes not here, and neither are you, that was videotaped. I am barely here. Taylor had a huge blockbuster debut this weekend. Of course im talking about tete going public with travis kelce and pda filled date night in new york city yes, taylor is his love story, she is enchanted and cant shake it off and travis is her. Football term. Touchback, thats the thing, right . Theres no one there but he is saying yes. And you know they are for reals, yall, because according to reports, they were holding hands, interlocked fingers and all, yall wow, interlocked fingers, thats like first base i think. Again, i dont know much about football. The pair popped up on this weekends saturday night live and they were spotted heading to the shows after party together. They put their relationship to the hardest test any couple can, going anywhere near Pete Davidson. In smaller news, taylors heiress tour movie premiere this past weekend and shatter the global record for a concert film. I saw it, it was great, i sang, i left, i screamed along with my fellow swifties, who were so excited that they came to the theater despite their high fevers, lost of taste and smell, and okay, thats where i got covid. I got covid, taylors version. President biden was in philadelphia this weekend to talk about the economy into speech got off to a. Bit of a bumpy start. Would save, joe no one noticed but please, stop doing anything. And we fill his shoes with weights . So he just pops back up . Oh, here i go okay, just kidding, jack them back, see you on the side once biden took the stage he worked the crowd a little. Its good to be almost home. Guys, i live in delaware, okay . And by the way, im a big pennsylvania guy. But you have an advantage in philly, i married a philly girl. Two, you are between scranton and wilmington. Scranton you guys have no sense of humor, man. Stephen those were punch lines back thanks for coming out to the chuckle hut i love being in milwaukee, but actually im from sheboygan. Its about an hour north, 50 minutes if theres no traffic on 43. Its a tough room. You can also take 57 to 23 east. Nothing . That joke usually kills on google maps. Weve got a great show for your tonight, my guess our data Pinkett Smith and comedian ricky velez. Plus, i might start hallucinating from a high fever when we come back. Meanwhile get me some advil, wont you [boos] announcer the late show with Stephen Colbert, sponsored by oralb, brush like a row add power. And youve got oralb. Round cleans better by surrounding each tooth to remove 100 more plaque. For a superior clean. Oralb. Brush like a pro. vo ultimate endless shrimp is here with a limited time flavor drop. New crispy dragon shrimp. One of seven endless choices. Right now, only at red lobster. Welcome to fun dining. honey. Honey. Dayquil severe honey. Powerful cold and flu symptom relief with a honeylicious taste. Because life doesnt stop for a cold. Dayquil honey, the daytime, coughing, aching, stuffy head, fever, honeylicious, power through your day, medicine. Im hearing different ways for me to screen for colon cancer. Its time to use my voice, ive got a choice, more than one answer. I sat down with my doc. We had a talk. Knew just what to say. I asked for cologuard and did it my way. Cologuard is a oneofa kind way to screen for colon cancer thats effective and noninvasive. Its for people 45 plus at average risk, not high risk. False positive and negative results may occur. Ask your provider for cologuard. I did it my way who says you cant go for bold without going broke. Get the brands you want, the prices you want, whenever you want. Tj maxx where you can always afford to be you to the maxx. [car tires screeching] whenever heartburn strikes. Get fast relief with tums. Its time to love food back. Also available tums sleep support. When you smell the amazing scent of gain flings. Time stops. and you realize youre in love. Steve . With a laundry detergent. gain flings. Seriously good scent. Heres why you should switch from chrome to duckduckgo. Duckduckgo is a browser you download to your mobile and desktop devices. Unlike chrome, the duckduckgo browser has privacy builtin. It comes with a private alternative to google search, which doesn■t spy on your searches, and it blocks cookies and creepy ads. And theres no catch. Its free. We make money from ads, but they dont follow you around. Join the millions of people taking back their privacy by downloading duckduckgo on mobile and desktop today. Bac everybody. Data Pinkett Smith and comedian ricky velez are going to be out here in just a moment, but first, folks, if you watch the show you know i spend most of my time on the stage of. Sullivan painstakingly sifting through the news minds to source the most topical rough stones which i, saw and shape to leave a precise angle and a 46 pavilion depth to create the 50 at bassett princess cut diamond that is my nightly monologue but sometimes, just sometimes, folks, i crawl through the dumb day of it dumpster of a t. J. Maxx which i smashed together with crazy glue and barbed wire to create the deranged gem of news that is my segment. Of meanwhile stephen that will cure me right there, thats as good as a vaccination right there. Meanwhile, in trash news, new york city will phase out black garbage bags, which means new yorkers only remaining option is to continue hurling their garbage everywhere else. Mayor eric adams announced that starting next fall residential buildings must put their trash insecure, wheeled containers, or as they will soon be called, portable rat cafes. Meanwhile, taylor swift has inspired a new hines sauce. I hope its better than the last pop star inspired condiment, bruno marstard. I really wish there was an audience because the thunderous applause for that joke would have really made me feel better. A couple weeks ago, taylor swift was eating up the subject and with catch up and seemingly ranch. And now they are releasing heinz ketchup and seemingly ranch. Dont be too concerned by the word seemingly. If the perfect condiment to go with produced chicken, as far as you know. Meanwhile. According to new research, ice cream and potato chips are just as addictive as cocaine, which is why for dessert, doctors recommend no more than one scoop of crack. Marstard. Meanwhile, in animal news, female frogs shake their own death to avoid unwanted attention from males, also the preferred tactic when stomach for human women when their date starts talking about their podcast. By the way, ladies, i have a podcast. Apparently during mating season competition for female attention and get chaotic and so the lady fabians engage in what scientists call tonic immobility. Coincidently, when i get out of this room i will engage in what scientists call gin and tonic paralysis. Meanwhile, in news that of course happened in canada, a bear walked into a gas station and stole a bag of gummy bears. But thats cannibalism everyone knows bears are only supposed to eat fish and i being told, again, by no one here, that we have footage of the incident. Finally he appeared to find exactly what he was looking for. And theres a bunch of candies down there and he took the 70 sent bag of gummy bears. Stephen wait a second, jimmy, freeze that image. Can i see that again . What is that in the lower lefthand corner . Is the bear conducting the interview, and is a very happy to see her . You say he took gummy bears, from where he take gummy bears . Can you show me where they are . Also, does this gas station have live salmon . Meanwhile that was my bear. Meanwhile, best buy will soon stop selling dvds. For my younger viewers, a dvd is like a coaster that plays shrek. Oh, you touched it . Now it no longer works. But dont you worry, best buy remains number one place in america to go when you need to find a dozen dads watching blue planet on 17 tvs at once. The move by best buy means that walmart now controls 45 of the market for dvds. You can find them between the fax machines and the sextons. Meanwhile, in old tv show news, streaming numbers for the show suits have been so successful that a new show is being planned and many have retreated the renewed popularity of the show to it featuring Meghan Markle before she married prince harry. Its the same bump that occurred when people remember Princess Diana played a drug lord in miami vice. We will be right back with data Pinkett Smith w who i would be. But here i am. Being me. Keep being you. And ask your Healthcare Provider about the number one prescribed hiv treatment, biktarvy. Biktarvy is a complete, onepill, onceaday treatment used for hiv in many people whether youre 18 or 80. With one small pill, biktarvy fights hiv to help you get to undetectable and stay there whether youre just starting or replacing your current treatment. Research shows that taking hiv treatment as prescribed and getting to and staying undetectable prevents transmitting hiv through sex. Serious side effects can occur, including kidney problems and kidney failure. Rare, lifethreatening side effects include a buildup of lactic acid and liver problems. Do not take biktarvy if you take dofetilide or rifampin. Tell your Healthcare Provider about all the medicines and supplements you take, if you are pregnant or breastfeeding, or if you have kidney or liver problems, including hepatitis. If you have hepatitis b do not stop taking biktarvy without talking to your Healthcare Provider. Common side effects were diarrhea, nausea, and headache. No matter where life takes you, biktarvy can go with you. Talk to your Healthcare Provider today. On your period, sudden gushes happen. Say goodbye gush fears thanks to always ultra thins. With rapiddry technology. That absorbs two times faster. Hellooo clean and comfortable. Always. Fear no gush. Hi, im michael, ive lost 70 pounds on golo. Hellooo clean and comfortable. I spent thousands on other diets that didnt work. On golo, i spent a couple hundred bucks and got back down to my high school weight. Youre not gonna believe this thing is possible but it is. Some people just know thats not gonna fit. Those are the people who know to choose allstate. Thats not gonna fit. Whats that . You need another four inches . Do you work here . Nope, i just saw you there and i thought id save you the trouble. Nana shes a human measuring tape. And she knows allstate is the right fit for her. Its not gonna fit. Thats not gonna fit. What . Steven . Some people just know. Well played. Well played, my friend. Those are the people who know youre in good hands with allstate. My frequent heartburn had me taking antacid after antacid all day long but with prilosec otc just one pill a day blocks heartburn for a full 24 hours. For one and done heartburn relief, prilosec otc. One pill a day, 24 hours, zero heartburn. get exclusive offers on select new volvo models. Contact your volvo retailer to learn more. Stephen welcome back, everybody. My first guest tonight is an actress you know as the cocreator and cohost of red table talk. She has just written a new memoir worthy. Please welcome back to the late show Jada Pinkett Smith jada hey, how are you . Stephen thanks for being here. Back to 2020. Lets do it all again. Jada lets do it all again stephen it has been four years since we sat down together. Jada its been a while. I was looking forward to seeing you, but i get to see on the screen. Stephen we will have to do it again. In that time, in those four years, youve written a new book thats getting a lot of attention called worthy. I love the cover, i think thats a photo made up of photos of you. Jada yeah, its all the thousand of jaydas and that one data head. Stephen you contain multitudes. Is that what youre saying . Jada exactly stephen this book has been making a ton of headlines in the last few days. Are you surprised its getting so much attention or are you surprised by what in the book is getting that attention . Jada no, i knew it was going to get some attention. I am surprised that its getting as much attention as it is, but you know, i think it also has a lot to do with theres not a lot of programming on tv. [laughs] stephen theres not a lot of programming like this. People are very interested in you and your family. You know, people were really surprised to find out that you and your former husband still husband or former husband gimmick jada that is still my man. You know yeah. You know, as i was explaining part of my healing process, i came into my marriage with will so young and so all of the idealism that i had around husband and marriage and i really in my process through therapy and what have you, just learning how to break down all of those romanticized fantasies that i came into this marriage with and really learning to have acceptance for the reality of what it is and just seeing will in a brandnew light. So, you know, just for my own healing i just call us life partners, but hes my dude. Hes my right hand. Stephen one of the things that surprised people that you revealed is that you and will have live separate lives since 2016. Jada yeah. Stephen and you know, you and i have also lived separate lives since 2016 and me and will actually so its kind of like a three way not having the same life together. Which i think might make headlines tonight. But heres the thing, i dont think the public has the right to know the inner lives of celebrities, i dont think thats a given but you and your family have been very open with people as sort of like a gift to your fans to know about your lives. Why was this one item like a juicy item something that you decided not to share until recently . Jada you know, i wasnt ready. Listen, uncoupling consciously is a very difficult thing. Right . And so in this process of learning how to you know, i had a lot of things i had to resolve so it wasnt like a war in public. I didnt want that for will end i. And so i really needed time to get myself together and in that process of my healing, you know, just realize like do i really want to be divorced, do i really want to be separated . And then the oscars came and believe it or not, its like its crazy how intense events can bring people together because once the oscars happened will and i got closer and so stephen really . That actually helped . How so . Jada because it was a it was a storm. Stephen oh, my gosh, its the slap heard round the world. Jada right. And so you know, before the oscars occurred, will have just finished a very difficult film that i cannot name, but he played a slave and heath a lot of things came up for him and he asked if we could get back into some therapeutic spaces together. And so we started doing some really deep Work Together and so when he got nominated, he was like theres nobody i want to share this moment with more, you know, than you. And i was really touched because it wasnt a guarantee that i was going to go with him and he was like will you go with me, and i said absolutely, so i didnt go to the oscars necessarily as wills wife, but when the event occurred, i knew in that moment that i wasnt going to leave his side, and i knew in that moment that i didnt go to that theater as his wife but i was leaving as his wife and i was going to stand by his side no matter what. And thats when i knew. I was like i love this man. Stephen thats really fascinating that it was sort of like a moment of i dont know, i dont want to put words in your mouth but it was a moment of sort of emotional crisis that brought you together. Jada absolutely, thats exactly what it was. Stephen you call that a holy slap. Jada i called it the holy joke, the holy slap and holy lessons. Stephen all right, holy lesson, take me to church, sister smith. Moment. Jada you know, i had to learn not to take any of it personally and i had to learn i learned so much about shadow. My shadow, wills shadow, everybodys shadow that was in the Stephen Chris walks shadow because i think chris rock slapdash i think will slapped it right out of him. Jada everybodys shadow right . Stephen had to go look for it in the wings. Jada so in that time really learning about unconditional love and learning that we are all here trying to figure out this thing called life and seeing how there was such a you know, this spiritual clash on the stage. You know, years and years of stuff between will and chris that just came to a head. You know gimmick stephen i didnt know there was stuff between i didnt know there was stuff jada thats a story for them. We won but you know the story . Jada of course. Stephen are you part of the story . Are you part of the story . Jada im actually not. Stephen we have to take a quick break but stick around, we will be back wh more Jada Pinkett Smith. Or renters with your auto, progressive provides protection for almost everything you own. But do you really need. My weighted hoop . Its for my snatched waist. Foot treadmill. Purse that says purse. My tuesday chalice. Lake making kit. Mushroom humidifier. Futuristic coat rack. Tells you how many coats are on it. Two. Inez, let me ask you, youre using head and shoulders, right . Only when i see flakes. Then i switch back to my regular shampoo. You should use it every wash, otherwise the flakes will come back. Tiny troy hes right, you know. Is that tiny troy . The ingredients in head and shoulders keep the microbes that cause flakes at bay. Microbes, really . Theyre always on your scalp. Little rascals. But good news, theres no itchiness, dryness or flakes down here i love tiny troy. And his tiny gorgeous hair. Hes the best. Make every wash count little help please. My a1c was up here; now, its down with rybelsus®. His a1c . Hes the best. Its down with rybelsus®. My doctor told me rybelsus® lowered a1c better than a leading branded pill and that people taking rybelsus® lost more weight. I got to my a1c goal and lost some weight too. Rybelsus® isnt for people with type 1 diabetes. Dont take rybelsus® if you or your family ever had medullary thyroid cancer, or have multiple endocrine neoplasia syndrome type 2, or if allergic to it. Stop rybelsus® and get medical help right away if you get a lump or swelling in your neck, severe stomach pain, or an allergic reaction. Serious side effects may include pancreatitis. Gallbladder problems may occur. Tell your provider about vision problems or changes. Taking rybelsus® with a sulfonylurea or insulin increases low blood sugar risk. Side effects like nausea, vomiting, and diarrhea may lead to dehydration, which may worsen kidney problems. Need to get your a1c down . You may pay as little as 10 per prescription. I have been conducting my own experiments. We have rules, miss zott. Youre firing me. Id like to offer you a job as the host of our cooking show. Are you concussed . N. No. Youre a scientist. I will be doing science in a kitchen on national tv. Describe how you felt watching the show. Capable. What the hell does that even mean . I stand with the overlooked workhorse of the kitchen women and baked potatoes. Is it menopause or Something Else . The menopause journey has stages. Learn about yours with clearblue menopause stage indicator. That tracks your fsh hormone levels. Combining them with your cycle data. Whats your menopause stage . Stephen hey, we are back with the author of worthy, Jada Pinkett Smith. Theres a lot of pain in these pages and youve dealt with addiction in your family, depression, loss of Close Friends and you write too many of us become stuck in grief because we dont understand the need to grieve and culturally we are not taught how to grieve. I agree with that, that thats you know, thats a modern industrial world, doesnt feel well because we are also sort of separated from our families. We dont know the older people in our family often because we dont live with our grandparents, we dont have that immediate that first immediately loss in our lives. Im just curious who taught you, where did you learn your lessons about grief . Jada you know, im still learning, it is still something that is challenging for me. But once i learned how to be vulnerable in a way that allowed me to accept intense feelings of despair and to just be with those feelings and know that those feelings werent going to take me out, knowing that i was going to make a return. Knowing that they were going to pass. Once i allowed myself to have those feelings and come out on the other side and feel the relief and feel the release and feel like i was getting closer to more intimate parts of myself and then allowed me to have deeper connections with other people and i was starting to see i wasnt going to lose anything by being more vulnerable and the more that i practice that than i could see that grief and allowing myself to grieve wasnt going to steal something from me but it was actually going to give me gifts. Stephen people i think in our modern world often mistake grief or weakness. Jada yes. Stephen that youre supposed to be strong all the time and you actually strike me as a very strong person. Your whole family. We have a photo of the beautiful family . There you are, just to remind you what you and your family look like. You seem like a very strong family. Can that sort of projected public strength a barrier, an obstacle to being vulnerable . V2 you know, not so much, to be honest with you. I think that for me, you know, i really have learned how to you have your public life and then you have your inner family sanctum life, you know . And ive been very lucky that with my family weve been able to do some really, really deep Work Together as a family and really strengthen our bonds in those places of vulnerability and tenderness and really being able to connect in such powerful ways. Stephen you call your children, a major part of your life obviously coming call them your three little gurus. What have they taught you . Jada that is so funny that you say that because willow willow, really all my kids have taught me how to hold tears. You know stephen what you mean by hold tears . Jada willow has a way of being emotionally expressive in ways that was foreign to me. You know, she really has a way of feeling her feelings and being very unapologetic about it. And she will just say to me mommy, i dont need to hear a fix, you to hold me and i go okay. You know what i mean . So i had to stephen everything is going to be okay, you dont need to tell me how. I will fix it. Jada i will fix it stephen you just tell me everything is going to be okay. Finding that vulnerability and being able to tap into your own grief, does that change you as an actress . Jada absolutely you find new depths. Absolutely. You can find new depths that way. Because ive had a very difficult time being vulnerable on screen. I just have to be real about that. Very difficult. Thats why im always choosing strong characters so that i dont have to play vulnerable straight up, stephen, you caught me there. Stephen all right. I look forward to your most vulnerable role coming up. Jada for sure. Stephen the book is worthy, the young lady is Jada Pinkett Smith. Its on sale tomorrow. Thank you so much for being here. Jada thank you, stephen, so nice to talk to you. Stephen we will be right back with comedian ricky velez. With new tequila lime shrimp one of seven endless choices right now, only at red lobster welcome to fun dining how white do you think your teeth really are . Lets try the tissue test. Ooof, still yellow. Whitening toothpaste can only do so much. Theres toothpaste white, and theres crest 3d whitestrips white. So much whiter crest. I have moderate to severe crohns disease. Now, theres skyrizi. Things are looking up ive got symptom relief control of my crohns means everything to me. Control is everything to me. Feel significant symptom relief with skyrizi, including less abdominal pain and fewer bowel movements at 4 weeks. Skyrizi is the first and only il23 inhibitor for crohns that can deliver both clinical remission and endoscopic improvement. The majority of people on skyrizi achieved long lasting remission at 1 year. Serious allergic reactions and an increased risk of infections or a lower ability to fight them may occur. 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The reigning family room middleweight champion. Better days start with zzzquil nights. At cretors, we handcraft every batch of our delicious popcorn. Like our cretors cheese and caramel mix. Great on their own, even better together. Try cretors, handcrafted smallbatch popcorn. We made it bmo has arrived. Hello . You said it. Hello to more ways to save money, grow your wealth, grow your business. Just what we needed, another big bank. Not so fast. How many banks do you know that reward you for saving every month . Hes got a good point. Did i mention bmo has more feefree atms than the two largest us banks combined . Uh, bmo . Just beemo, actually. Quick question, will all this stuff fit in your car . should i get rid of the mug . Bmo stephen hey, welcome back latest drama, my next guest is a verys funny standup comedian who has a special called heres everything. Please welcome to the late show ricky velez. Thank you. Thank you for having me here, stephen. Stephen i wish i was there. Ricky im pretty disappointed in you. Youve got covid and you stay home. I have covid, im here, what you doing . Stephen you are not supposed to be there if you have covid. Ricky i took the train here the one ricky, that is irresponsible at best. Listen, if im going to be the only one here at. Sullivan theater, tonight is my show, all right . Stephen okay. Its actually my show. Ricky no its not. Stephen what you mean . Ricky im taking it over, okay . Welcome to the latest show ricky velez ricky velez, the best ever to ever perform in. Sullivan theater ladies and gentlemen, welcome to my show stephen this isnt how passing the baton this is not how you get a show. Ricky yes, it is, okay . You are my psychic now so everybody give it up for steve. You are steve now. Stephen hello, hale. Ricky and its time for my monologue, okay . Going to start up my monologue some shout outs. I want to shout out who daddy diamonds. Tt, and mike berkowitz. There we go. Stephen thats a list of names. Ricky listen, sidekick. Its time for my first guest. Everyone, round of applause for Pete Davidson, everybody there we go there we go. Stephen holy [bleep] Pete Davidson click you have better guests than i do . Ive never had Pete Davidson v2 and you never will, i put him in contract. So, pete, it is such a pleasure to meet you. For sure, whats going on, do . Ricky act like we dont know each other. Yeah, man paradis ricky youre such a star, i was talking to one of my producers earlier just telling me that you love to go to six flags. I love going to six flags, yeah. Ricky yeah, yeah, i just it was a lot of fun when we went, right . Fico oh, yeah, we went. How did you get the show, dude . Ricky i got it because steve and got canceled. Stephen really, youve been waiting . [bleep] you thanks i dont get it, dude, why are you at work . Stephen look at my armpits, and sweating through his shirt we have covid too, we rode the train here. If you all have covid its fine. If you see something, say something, it has nothing to do with your fever. Stephen okay. Ricky you know, this was so lastminute, i kind of didnt plan much and honestly, this job kind of sucks. Like youre just supposed to interview you about being a celebriy . You must be crazy mr. Colbert . Stephen yes . You two would you mind if i just was a guest instead . Stephen no, i wouldnt mind at all. Davidson, out. Get out. Yeah, thank you for meeting you virtually carried yeah the best take your chair. Stephen not that easy, is it . Let me show you how its done. I understand your group in queens, which makes you a born and bred new yorker. Ricky oh oh, my god, yes i did stephen what you think makes someone a real new yorker . Ricky i have this argument a lot. Its mostly that you were born in new york. I dont care if you have lived here for ten years, we dont accept you, you are not part of it. Its lenox hill or jamaica hospital. Stephen i thought this was the only city where you got to become a new yorker. Ricky yeah, if you havent been robbed on the f train, you are not involved. Stephen okay, lets see if you are a real new yorker, do you have a go to deli order . You to guess i do. Stephen what is it . Ricky Cherry Valley queens, the corona. Stephen whats the corona . Ricky it is a breaded chicken cutlet, bacon, cheese, Barbecue Sauce and onion rings. The best part about Cherry Valley is its where you went in high school, its open 24 hours. Its open 24 hours and its also where you go to fight at the end of the night. uso thats what we. Yeah. Stephen you want to have a goto place you make ricky you dont want to have a black eye and an empty belly. Stephen we heard this, i have one. I have one right here. I would describe the sandwich i havent bitten into it yet, but i would describe it as unbelievably dense. Ricky the other thing is it secures covid. So you should probably have [laughs] the whole thing. Yes. I think i have one as well. Stephen no. Ricky whats your thoughts on it . Stephen i think covid and many other things will be fleeing my body this evening. Ricky yeah, absolutely, thats what gets it out fast. That is a lot to take in. Stephen theres one thing a really good microphone likes, its a sandwich. Ricky yeah. Stephen i feel like im doing asmr with you. Ricky everybody relax. Stephen you want to the Frank Sinatra school of the arts in queens, which is founded by the one, the only, the great tony bennett. Did you meet tony . That he come visit the school . Ricky yeah, tony was in my school a lot. He was a great part of the school and he just made us like a part of what he was doing always. I remember when he was coming out with the billy joel album, him and billy joel did an album, and you know, being around i mean, lady gaga was around, all these different people were around and you became kind of jaded to it so he brought us to Good Morning America to watch him perform. Stephen so you are his squad . To yeah, kind of. He brought the boys with him, you know . So he stephen you look beautiful ricky and then we me and my friends decided we had seen him perform too much so we skipped. They brought us to the city and we just went to central park. Stephen your best friends with Pete Davidson, as we just learned. And i just found out his godfather to your son. Ricky yes. Stephen how old is your son . My son is five. Stephen whats he like as a godfather . Good presence . Of something happen to you to think he would raise a child in a spiritual mentor to which you have become accustomed . Ricky thats not what the will says. Yes. Yes. Hes the best. My son adores him more than anybody and he just hes really good to us and he continues to be a great godfather and someone that im proud to have my son look up to. Stephen whats your favorite part about being a dad . Ricky my favorite part about being a dad is allowing my son to explore everything he wants to explore. Watching him grow up and be the person he is and not trying to shape him and letting him shape himself. Stephen do you have a sense of who he is at five mack ricky yes and no. Because like every day he blows my mind. It just changes daily with him. He out of nowhere in 5 i guess a couple of kids have like lost grandparents in his class, so my wife is jewish, i grew up catholic, and he has found god himself. Its pretty impressive. Stephen whats his godlike make how does that manifest itself . Ricky the other day we were walking home from a restaurant, it was just me and him and he just turned to me and goes i know where i came from. And i was really ike afraid that i was about to have like the birds and the bees conversation. Stephen he was going to give you the sex talk . We to yeah come on seventh avenue. And i look down on him and he goes god. And i go thank god thank god and heat i dont know whos telling him what, but recently a kid hit him in the face at the park, which is just sad and whatever. Stephen a kid he knew or just someone random . Ricky listen, he was born and raised in new york so he aided pretty well. A kid he with in the kid, as his mother came over to scold him and take him away, my son screamed across the park in front of all the parents god made you wrong [laughs] so hes definitely stephen that packs a punch. Ricky he knows more than we are teaching impurity stephen not only is that insulting but it is confusing to a child. Ricky i actually have started using it in my own life. Its great to say to another adult. Stephen ricky, thanks for being on, thanks for rolling with the switch up at the last minute. Up give my best to your guest Pete Davidson. Ricky stephen, i hope you feel better. Please feel better fast. We need you here. We need you making laughs, sir. Stephen tickets for rickys new york comedy festival show on november 7th are on sale now. Ricky velez, everybody we will be right back thanks, rky ricky appreciate you, stephen. Stephen cheers oppers time to win is running out in our prize packed kick off the savings Monopoly Game hurry in to play for your chance at over 25 million in prizes and money saving offers like this, and this, or even this. Plus, you still have a shot at up to 100,000 in guaranteed prize money. Stop in while you can still win and shop your Favorite Brands sporting the kick off the savings monopoly tag for unlimited bonus game tickets at lucky goli, taste your goals. Off the savings monopoly tag stephen thats it for the late show, tune in tomorrow i will be joined by Rachel Maddow and the novel coronavirus