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Transcripts For KGO Jimmy Kimmel Live 20170915

Thank you. You know, i want to mention a personal thing, we had a big thing going on at our house this morning. My daughter, shes 3 years old, had picture day at preschool today. They sent home one of those flyers with different photo packages you can choose from. We ordered the basic package for 18. 25, you get a class photo, a 5 x 7, two three x 5s, and four jumbo walletsized pictures, for the three people in the world who still carry photos in their wallets, in their jumbo wallets. Maybe shaq has a judge bow wallet. I need a judge bow wallet to keep all my money in. So we got my daughter all dressed up, sent her to school. Which as far as i can tell these School Photos are exclusively for grandparents who dont know that phones can take pictures now why are you got facebook and instagram. Its really kind of surprising that school photo packages still even exist. Its like when youtube took over and abc decided to keep making americas funniest home videos. Anyway, were talking about th

Transcripts For WPVI Jimmy Kimmel Live 20170915

Thank you. You know, i want to mention a personal thing, we had a big thing going on at our house this morning. My daughter, shes 3 years old, had picture day at preschool today. They sent home one of those flyers with different photo packages you can choose from. We ordered the basic package for 18. 25, you get a class photo, a 5 x 7, two three x 5s, and four jumbo walletsized pictures, for the three people in the world who still carry photos in their wallets, in their jumbo wallets. Maybe shaq has a judge bow wallet. I need a judge bow wallet to keep all my money in. So we got my daughter all dressed up, sent her to school. Which as far as i can tell these School Photos are exclusively for grandparents who dont know that phones can take pictures now why are you got facebook and instagram. Its really kind of surprising that school photo packages still even exist. Its like when youtube took over and abc decided to keep making americas funniest home videos. Anyway, were talking about th

Transcripts For KNTV Late Night With Seth Meyers 20170919

And if you dont know who won, then, baby, you dont know the democrats. [ light laughter ] here is actual footage of democratic jon ossoff last night. [ cheering ] seth i would tell democrats to go back to go back to the drawing board, but it would probably fall on them and kill them. [ light laughter ] following two special election losses for the Democratic Party yesterday, one democratic congressman said, quote, our brand is worse than trump. Hey, thats our slogan, said united airlines. [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] today was the longest day of the year, says sean spicer every day. [ laughter and applause ] new Jersey Governor Chris Christie said yesterday that he doesnt care about his recordlow Approval Ratings. Or apparently his recordhigh pants. [ laughter and applause ] a texas man recently changed his last name to trump. And it somehow made him more likable. [ laughter ] Discovery Channel is promoting its upcoming shark week by promising to have olympic swimmer Michael Ph

Transcripts For WCAU Late Night With Seth Meyers 20170919

And if you dont know who won, then, baby, you dont know the democrats. [ light laughter ] here is actual footage of democratic jon ossoff last night. [ cheering ] seth i would tell democrats to go back to go back to the drawing board, but it would probably fall on them and kill them. [ light laughter ] following two special election losses for the Democratic Party yesterday, one democratic congressman said, quote, our brand is worse than trump. Hey, thats our slogan, said united airlines. [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] today was the longest day of the year, says sean spicer every day. [ laughter and applause ] new Jersey Governor Chris Christie said yesterday that he doesnt care about his recordlow Approval Ratings. Or apparently his recordhigh pants. [ laughter and applause ] a texas man recently changed his last name to trump. And it somehow made him more likable. [ laughter ] Discovery Channel is promoting its upcoming shark week by promising to have olympic swimmer Michael Ph

Transcripts For WPVI Jimmy Kimmel Live 20170919

Jimmy hi, everybody. Im jimmy. Im the host of the show. Thank you for watching. Thank you for coming. Now, i hope you had a good weekend. I had a little did too much fun this weekend. We had a late night last night. The whole town closed down for the emmys last night and the parties after the emmys. Ive never done acid but i think i now know after going to an after party with sean spicer and rupaul at it, i understand what it might be like. I was invited to more parties last night than i did in all of high school combined. You go from party to party. Theyre all exactly the same party. Its a bunch of people dressed up, telling you you were robbed. Everyone not holding an emmy was robbed. You leave the p go to this part. You might as well stay at the one party. And theres a weird thing that goes on. People in hollywood do this is there are always waiters with trays of food. You are standing there talking to someone and a guy in a vest comes up with meatballs or taco shells filled with ra

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