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Transcripts For KNTV The Tonight Show Starring Jimmy Fallon 20240714

[ cheers and applause jimmy oh, thank you. Thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you please, have a seat. Enjoy yourselves welcome, everybody welcome to the tonight show. [ cheers and applause youre here. You made it. Give it up for the roots, while youre at it come on. [ cheers and applause the best band in late night. Well, you guys, this sunday is fathers day is everyone excited . [ cheers and applause of course you are. I love fathers day. Its that special day each year where you call up your dad, and t a few one word answers and then go, well, good talking to you. All right, bye. [ light laughter ] but you got to call your dad on fathers day, mainly because he has no idea how to text. You know [ light laughter ] this probably wont surprise you, but i read that americans spend 40 less on fathers day than they do on mothers day [ audience ohs ] i cant believe its that close. [ laughter ] on mothers day, you do flowers, brunch, jewelry fathers day, its an air freshener from 7eleven.

Transcripts For KNTV The Tonight Show Starring Jimmy Fallon 20240714

Jimmy looking good hi, welcome, everybody welcome. [ cheers and applause have a seat, please. Welcome, welcome, welcome, welcome, welcome to the tonight show, everybody. You are here you made it. Thank you very much for being here [ cheers and applause we have a great show tonight greg kinnear is my guest tonight. Steve oh [ cheers and applause jimmy Phoebe Wallerbridge is here. Steve oh [ cheers and applause jimmy phoebe stars in the hit Comedy Series fleabag, which is also the name of a hotel near penn station. Steve oh [ laughter ] jimmy lets get some news. A new poll about the 2020 election just came out. And it shows joe biden, Elizabeth Warren and Bernie Sanders are leading the pack, even though theyre all over 70 years old. [ light laughter ] so far the only thing they agree on is that the next debate should be at 4 30 [ laughter ] little late. Not everyone is doing so well. A poll also found that bill de blasio is polling lower than 1 . [ light laughter ] thats horrible. Steve

Transcripts For KNTV Late Night With Seth Meyers 20240714

Accused him of changing his name to sound more hispanic even crazier, he said the same thing about el paso. [ laughter ] when i was a kid, it was called the pass. [ laughter ] according to reports, the owner of soulcycle is planning to host a fundraiser for President Trump, and there is no way trump knows what soulcycle is [ laughter ] soulcycle, wow, is that show still on . [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause according according to financial disclosures, more billionaires have donated to mayor Pete Buttigieg than any other democratic candidate well, he does have all the qualities theyre looking for in a candidate. Hes white [ laughter ] according to a new report [ applause ] nearly 10 of the unverified accounts President Trump has retweeted since he took office have been suspended from twitter. While the other 90 have been offered a cabinet position [ laughter and applause producers have announced that the next season of the fx Series American Crime story will chronicle the sex scandal

Transcripts For KNTV The Tonight Show Starring Jimmy Fallon 20240714

Jimmy fallon [ cheers and applause jimmy thank you very, very much please thank you. I love you please, have a seat. Thank you very, very much, everybody. Welcome, welcome, welcome, welcome, welcome to the the tonight show. This is it, baby [ cheers and applause thank you for [ cheers and applause weve got a fun show tonight Dakota Johnson is my guest tonight. [ cheers and applause jon lovitz is stopping by steve oh jimmy i love jon lovitz. [ cheers and applause and post malone is here. [ cheers and applause actually, in honor of post malone, everyone in tonights audience is going home with a face tattoo. There you go [ cheers and applause there you go good for you absolutely lets get to some news here. The economy is having a pretty wild week. Thanks to our trade war with china, stocks have been up and down i saw that apple lost almost 50 billion. [ audience ohs ] then every customer with a a missing airpod was like, sucks losing something, doesnt it yeah. [ laughter and applause all

Transcripts For KNTV Late Night With Seth Meyers 20240714

Bernie picked the flavor [ laughter ] an ohio state representative facing criticism after writing a Facebook Post blaming the shooting in dayton on, quote, the breakdown of the traditional american family, homosexual marriage, fatherlessness, violent video games, professional athletes who hate our flag and the national anthem, recreational marijuana, obama and democrats. [ laughter ] shes whats known in the Republican Party as a moderate [ laughter ] executives at instagram have announced that the app will be renamed instagram from facebook. Seriously . [ light laughter ] why would facebook want to remind people of instagrams connection to an obscenely powerful reviled Parent Company . [ laughter ] i mean, thatd be like, i dont know, naming your kid [ laughter and applause former Colorado Governor John Hickenlooper said during an interview on sunday that he may run for senate if his president ial bid is unsuccessful so i guess well just have to wait and see oh, okay, right. [ laughter

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