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Transcripts For COM The Daily Show With Trevor Noah 20240711

Stuff in the news right now. But before we get to that, lets kick it off with a fun crime story thats out of this world. And now that i hear that, it probably sounded like it has something to do with outer space, which it doesnt. No, its not out of this world. Its pretty cool, though. A wild chase worthy of the big screen. The suspect in a multimillion dollar ponzi scheme tried to escape the feds under the water of lake shasta. The u. S. Attorneys office says mathew percy took off in his truck when the f. B. I. Showed up at his home and eventually jumped on a sea scooter, a device that propels people up to 100 feet under water. Well, agents eventually spotted his bubbles and waited him out. When he finally came out, they cuffed him. Trevor man, there is so much i love about this story. First of all, i love how the guy had the sea scooter ready, like, he knew he was going to have to outrun the feds at some point. Thats going to be a hard one to explain to the judge. Not guilty, your hon

Transcripts For COM The Daily Show With Trevor Noah 20240711

But before we get to that, lets kick it off with a fun crime story thats out of this world. And now that i hear that, it probably sounded like it has something to do with outer space, which it doesnt. No, its not out of this world. Its pretty cool, though. A wild chase worthy of the big screen. The suspect in a multimillion dollar ponzi scheme tried to escape the feds under the water of lake shasta. The u. S. Attorneys office says mathew percy took off in his truck when the f. B. I. Showed up at his home and eventually jumped on a sea scooter, a device that propels people up to 100 feet under water. Well, agents eventually spotted his bubbles and waited him out. When he finally came out, they cuffed him. Trevor man, there is so much i love about this story. First of all, i love how the guy had the sea scooter ready, like, he knew he was going to have to outrun the feds at some point. Thats going to be a hard one to explain to the judge. Not guilty, your honor although, yes, i did try t

Transcripts For COM The Daily Show With Trevor Noah 20240711

Imagine if i started learning ference today, and eight months after practicing, i dont speak french. And i think its a little insane that these restrictions are just now happening. Because weve known the importance of wearing a mask for months, and some states are just now putting a mask mandate into place. Only now . This is like hosting a pool party, and then in the last ten minutes saying okay, new rule no shitting in the pool. Yeah looking at you, david i mean, better late than never, but thats some shit floating around. But this is why it is so important to always wear a mask in public spaces. You can protect your loved ones and your whole community with a 3 strip of fabric, people. You have no excuse. And maybe youre saying, but trevor, im a rich snob. I would never wear something that only costs 3. Well, now you have no excuse, either. Who says staying safe cant also be a fashion statement . The worlds most expensive face mask now making its debut. The 1. 5 million mask was crea

Transcripts For COM The Daily Show With Trevor Noah 20240712

With cold weather arriving, many places in the world that had largely gotten the pandemic under control are now seeing alarming new spikes. France hit the record 52,000 new daily cases while germany saw a record high of 16,000 cases. And now because of that and increasing hospitalizations, both countries are institute nog lockdowns. The last time europe was this panicked about an existential threat, it had a little mustache. No joke. But while europe is trying to limit public gat risk, the corona in chief donald trump is going around hins Country Holding as many superspreader rallies as he can. He even changed the crowd chant from lock her up to lick your hands. Now other peoples hands. All their hands. Lalalarlala but remember the president ial race isnt the only one that will be decided next week. Republicans are desperately trying to hold on to the senate and one seat they need to keep red is in arizona where republican insum Martha Mcsally is in a tough race against mark kelly who

Transcripts For COM The Daily Show With Trevor Noah 20240712

Trevor hey, whats going on, everybody . Welcome to the daily social distancing show, im trevor noah. Today is thursday, the 29th of october, which means if you live in oklahoma, early voting starts today. So go vote remember its the oklahoma sooners, not the oklahoma laters. Anyway, coming up on tonights show why black votes matter, Jordan Klepper talks to trump supporters, and vicepresident ial candidate Kamala Harris is on the show. So lets do this, people welcome to the daily social distancing show. From trevors couch in new york city to your couch somewhere in the world, this is the daily social distancing show with trevor noah. Trevor lets kick it off with the coronavirus. Its the reason people hit the ground whenever you sneeze. With cold weather arriving, many places in the world that had largely gotten the pandemic under control are now seeing alarming new spikes. France hit the record 52,000 new daily cases while germany saw a record high of 16,000 cases. And now because of th

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