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Transcripts For KNTV The Tonight Show Starring Jimmy Fallon 20240713

All without leaving the comfort and safety of your home. Rd yeah, its friy. We me ito the end of the week thats rht i know were cooped up thats the power of sanctuary. Were inside but it doest mean that we cant cut loose and for a little extra help, receive 0 apr financing now i gotta cut loose [ music stops and defer your first payment up to 120 days on the purchase of a new lincoln. Lets be honest. Quitting smoking is hard. Like, quitting every monday hard. Quitting feels so big. So try making it smaller, and youll be surprised at how easily start stopping with nicorette. And youll be surprised at how easily its interesting what happens when you treat every little piece of a thing. Like its not just one thing. But everything. Because when each part does everything better than ever. Imagine what you can do with the sum of those parts. The new dell xps 10th gen intel bong [ tennis shoes squeaking ] sail awaway sail away sail away sail awa sail awa we in the house steve tonight, join ji

Transcripts For KGO Jimmy Kimmel Live 20240713

I will be sitting right here. By the door. Waiting for you. People have been staying at home and ordering stuff. This is good. This actually happened to me once, with a 26 foot moving truck someone captured this on their ring camera. An amazon delivery guy forgot to put his truck in park, and then he brought the item to the door. And was pretty relaxed, until hes pretty relaxed. Rings the bell. Even walking back to the truck, pretty relaxed. Until, he realized the truck started rolling backwards down the street. Last we checked, hes still chasing it. In politics, which are happening, whether we like it or not, a very big name weighed in today, on the race for president. Hi, everybody . Where the hell have you been . Did you not see the obat signal . Its been flashing for like two years. Jimmy as was expected, barack obama officially endorsed his former vp for p. Obama, who has been in quarantine since, january of 2017, posted a 12 minute video on twitter. And you can see, he looks olde

Transcripts For KGO Jimmy Kimmel Live 20240713

The truck started rolling backwards down the street. Last we checked, hes still chasing it. In politics, which are happening, whether we like it or not, a very big name weighed in today, on the race for president. Hi, everybody. Jimmy hi, everybody . Where the hell have you been . Did you not see the obat signal . Its been flashing for like two years. Jimmy as was expected, barack obama officially endorsed his former vp for p. Obama, who has been in quarantine since, january of 2017, posted a 12 minute video on twitter. And you can see, he looks older. Every time i see him, it feels like hes visiting from the future to warn us about something. Obama gave biden a hearty endorsement, and he had kind words for Bernie Sanders too. He described bernie as an american original, which sounds good, i guess, but realistically, you could say the same thing about mountain dew code red. Some are saying obamas endorsement came late, given that he waited until joe biden had the nomination. Its like e

Transcripts For CSPAN 2011 White House Correspondents Dinner - Seth Meyers 20240713

Im hobbled to be sitting at a president with president obama whom i greatly in mire, the leader of the worlds most powerful poorest country. These are myt, birth certificate jokes for sale thank you for the timing on that come up mr. President , now unusable. [laughter] [applause] we were working on these jokes for months. One of my guy said, are you worried we are a little heavy on bursa to get jokes . What if he relays birth certificate jokes . What if he releases it before the dinner . And i said why would he do that . He is not going to wait three years and then do it before the dinner. Who told you i had bursa to get jokes . I had birth certificate jokes . It was assigned, wasnt it . Wasnt it . Is biden still Vice President . If not i am down to thank you and god bless america. [laughter] perform for you tonight as well as the handful of people watching at home on cspan. [laughter] cspan is of course the official network of wide shots of empty chairs. [laughter] every time i tune

Transcripts For CSPAN 2011 White House Correspondents Dinner - Seth Meyers 20240713

Tao. Jin im hobbled to be sitting at a president with president obama whom i greatly in mire, the leader of the worlds most powerful poorest country. These are myt, birth certificate jokes for sale thank you for the timing on that come up mr. President , now unusable. [laughter] [applause] we were working on these jokes for months. One of my guy said, are you worried we are a little heavy on bursa to get jokes . What if he relays birth certificate jokes . What if he releases it before the dinner . And i said why would he do that . He is not going to wait three years and then do it before the dinner. Who told you i had bursa to get jokes . I had birth certificate jokes . It was assigned, wasnt it . Wasnt it . Is biden still Vice President . If not i am down to thank you and god bless america. [laughter] perform for you tonight as well as the handful of people watching at home on cspan. [laughter] cspan is of course the official network of wide shots of empty chairs. [laughter] every tim

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