I will be sitting right here. By the door. Waiting for you. People have been staying at home and ordering stuff. This is good. This actually happened to me once, with a 26 foot moving truck someone captured this on their ring camera. An amazon delivery guy forgot to put his truck in park, and then he brought the item to the door. And was pretty relaxed, until hes pretty relaxed. Rings the bell. Even walking back to the truck, pretty relaxed. Until, he realized the truck started rolling backwards down the street. Last we checked, hes still chasing it. In politics, which are happening, whether we like it or not, a very big name weighed in today, on the race for president. Hi, everybody . Where the hell have you been . Did you not see the obat signal . Its been flashing for like two years. Jimmy as was expected, barack obama officially endorsed his former vp for p. Obama, who has been in quarantine since, january of 2017, posted a 12 minute video on twitter. And you can see, he looks older. Every time i see him, it feels like hes visiting from the future to warn us about something. Obama gave biden a hearty endorsement, and he had kind words for Bernie Sanders too. He described bernie as an american original, which sounds good, i guess, but realistically, you could say the same thing about mountain dew code red. Some are saying obamas endorsement came late, given that he waited until joe biden had the nomination. Its like endorsing tom brady for quarterback of the buccaneers. But obama has been off windsurfing or something. He had to wait for a breeze. To bring him into shore. Meanwhile, donald trump just got an endorsement from a president too, himself. It was another manic monday for old yeller, who gave an alltimer of a press conference yesterday. He was almost foaming at the mouth. He was huffing and puffing so much, youd think hed just done a sit up. Hes very upset. He is upset, not about the death toll, or the lack of ventilators, masks, tests, etcetera, etcetera. Hes upset because he doesnt want blame, he wants credit. Blame bad, credit good. And thats what he wants. He went on for two hours and 24 minutes, yesterday, with no intermission. In case you missed it, we whittled it down to the best of the worst. I dont mind being criticized, but not when youre wrong. The whole network, the way you cover it is fake. Its a fake newspaper, and they write fake stories. And most of you, mott anot all , but most of you. You have a lower approval rating. Why are there no consequences for china. What are the consequences . I wouldnt tell you. Youd probably be the last person on earth id tell. The president of the United States calls the shots. When somebodys the president of the United States, the authority is total. But who told you the president has the total authority . Jimmy like an angry parent. You underestimate the power of the orange side. So hes handling things well, but this is what happens when he goes a week without golf. Trump is battling with the governors now. He insists that the president calls all the shots, which is, of course, not true, and totally contrary to the longtime position of the republican party, which believes strongly in states rights. You cant embrace the confederacy and the total authority of the federal government at the same time. Its like thanos having an ironman themed birthday party. You just dont do it. So after trump went on his power trip, a reporter from politico, had the good sense to ask mike pence, who was governor of indiana, what he thinks. This is a question for mr. Vice president. Do you agree with the president s statement and his understanding of federalism, that his power is total . Is there anything youd like to add or in context youd like to add to the way he was discussing that . I support the president s leadership under the National Emergency declaration he signed. Jimmy he looks scared, doesnt he . I thought robots werent supposed to show fear . I guess they havent worked out all the kinks yet. Trump made history yesterday. He did something i dont believe any president has done before. He brought a video for the press to watch. Like a lazy substitute teacher. Propogrampa had his staff, cut together a video, designed i guess, to make him look good and them look bad. But it seems like it had the opposite effect. We have a few clips that were just going to put up. We can turn the lights a little bit lower. I think youll find them interesting. Please, you can put it so we could give you hundreds of clips like that. Jimmy please do. Maybe hell finally get that emmy he wanted. By all accounts, it was the likes of which no reporter, seems to have ever seen. But in fairness, in the interest of equal time, trumps unhinged performance did receive one rave review. Ive seen a lot of the president s briefings, i feldhe few of them myself, today was one of his best. Jimmy hes not going to come to your birthday party, sean. When are you gonna get that through your head . Trump is not just talking up a storm, hes also tweeting one. Why he is doing this . I have no idea. There is no reason for it, but he was on the offensive again today, lashing out. He wrote, tell the democrat governors that mutiny on the bounty was one of my all Time Favorite movies. A good oldfashioned mutiny every now and then is an exciting and invigorating thing to watch, especially when the mutineers need so much from the captain. Too easy this is unbelievable, not only is he threatening not to help states with federal assistance, with our money, the captain from mutiny on the bounty, in the end of that movie, was judged to be unfit to lead. In other words, the ship has hit the tan. Most states are under shelter in place orders, only essential businesses are allowed to be open, and in florida, one of those essential business is the wwe. World wrestling entertainment. Is essential, in florida. Its nice to know that even after all of this, florida hasnt lost its sense of being florida. Wwe will continue to hold their matches, but without crowds. Is professional wrestling without a crowd still even professional wrestling . At that point isnt it just an argument on a trampoline . Just for this period of time, they should make wrestling real. Why not . Let they will fight it out. What do they have to lose . And one more thing, over the last several weeks, we have been shining a light on those who are finding creative ways to amuse yourselves and others while on lockdown. And with that said, here it is our quarantime killer of the night. Jimmy you know youre board when youre dreaming about riding amtrak. Lets take a break. When we return, well be back with a man, who actually has the coronavirus. George stephanopoulos is standing by. So stick around. Way more than you think. Check out this game. Yes. Galaxy 5g means you will beat your friends what if i want to show my friend this little guy . Calling the whole gang is even better with galaxy 5g. Wait a minute, are you bored . Obviously imagine a future where the best seats in the house are in your hand. With galaxy 5g yelling its like being there. Without being there. The census counts us all. And an accurate count helps inform where billions go every year. So, dont miss your chance to be counted. Shape your future. Start here at 2020census. Gov. Youre not using too much, are you hon . Shape your future. Nope. Charmin ultra soft is so soft youll have to remind your family they can use less. Charmin ultra soft is twice as absorbent so you can use less. Dont worry, theres plenty left for you, dad. We all go. Why not enjoy the go with charmin . 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We have plans to fit every budget with speeds up to a gigall at xfinity. Com. Well ship you a selfinstall kit that makes setup quick, safe and easy. No tech visit required. And our simple Digital Tools will help you manage your account online. At xfinity, were committed to keeping you connected. Find great offers and value, today, at xfinity. Com jimmy my guest tonight works tirelessly to bring us the news, and now he is the news. Here to tell us about his Coronavirus Diagnosis and how he saved his wife, George Stephanopoulos. That is not how he sees it. Jimmy how are you doing . This is a weird one. Ali had a pretty tough case. She was in bed for a couple weeks. Ive never had a fever, never had a cough, never had shortness of breath, no chills. The only thing i could think of is one day, a couple, now almost three weeks ago, had a little bit of lower back pain and went to bed early, and that was it. Jimmy that was it. No sense of smell for about a day, but that was like several weeks ago. And sense then, just nothing beyond that. Jimmy why did you end up getting tested . Because you were planning to go back to work . Yeah, i wanted to make sure eventually when i went back to work that i was absolutely negative. I was pretty priced thsurprised turned out positive. Even the technician when she called to say so, she said we dont get it, my temperature was 97, oxygen 99. She says we were surprised too. But there you go. Jimmy but you are anchoring good morning, america from your dining room . Yeah, im in the living room now. But im doing it in the dining room. Jimmy what is that like . Has everything stopped in the house for that . Thereyre sleeping during gm time. But the dogs go nuts seeing a squirrel in the back yard. Its kind of worked around. Jimmy your number one issue right now is squirrels right now. Squirrels and hair. Jimmy and hair. Who is doing your hair . Cant you tell . Im doing it myself. Jimmy im doing mine as well. And its embarrassing to even talk about whos doing your hair. But i know typically at your workplace, you have three people. One person who does your hair and one for each eyebr it takes a lot of work. Jimmy how are your daughters doing . Theyre watching us right now. Sitting across the room. Theyre doing the Distance Learning thing on their laptops all day, complaining about homework, so you know everythings going well. And theyve also turned me on to love island. Jimmy oh, youre watching love island, huh . Yeah, right there. Jimmy we will take a break and come back and talk to ali and george. Im being the teaser. Your mighty, mighty tiger. Bring out the tiger. Your mighty, mighty tiger. Tigers start their day with the great taste of frosted flakes, so they can be grrreat part of a complete breakfast. Hold on one second. Sure. Okay. Okay safe drivers save 40 guys guys check it out. Safe drivers save 40 safe drivers save 40 safe drivers save 40 thats safe drivers save 40 . It is, thats safe drivers save 40 . Hes right there. Its him hes here. Hes right here. Hi hi. Hey thats totally him. Its him thats totally the guy. Safe drivers do save 40 . Click or call for a quote today. Protect your pet with the 1 name in flea and tick protection. Frontline plus. Trusted by vets for nearly 20 years. Frontline plus. Step by step, were going to figure this out. Were gonna find a way through this. Were working really, really hard in hospitals, our nurses, our techs, all the docs. Its about staggering when people get sick so that the hospitals can cope. Were gonna go through an awful lot of these. All across puget sound, people have been stepping up and donating personal protective equipment. We stay at work. For you. You stay at home for us. Just know were all with you. Thank you, thank you so much. Thank you doctors nurses. Jimmy we are chat being with George Stephanopoulos and ali. Ali, you had it really bad, right . Its funny, because its very indicative of our lives. I get corona and am deathly ill for three weeks with a high fever and sweating and achy and going crazy, like martin she shs in apocalypse now, and george gets it and has no symptoms. Jimmy does that bother you that he wasnt able to smell cologne for about an hour . If i wasnt quarantined with him, we would probably take a separate weekend away . Jimmy did george take good care of you . How did it work . Did you ring a bell when you needed something . He instinctually knew when i needed my temperature taken. He didnt have to bathe me or anything, but he brought me food and chicken soup. Lemonade. And lemonade. He was actually a rock star. Jimmy oh, look at this. Kids, kids all right, were home schooling. Were trying to raise a couple of makeup artists. Jimmy i know thats always been your dream. If were that lucky. Its all about trade school now, jimmy. Jimmy ali, how long were you in your bedroom . How long were you confined to the bedroom . 16 days. I would say 16 days, yeah. Jimmy holy cow, and how do you handle that . What are you doing in there . First of all, youre basically focussed on getting healthy and getting well. So youre basically sleeping and taking tylenol p. M. And i watched all seven seasons of mad men. And in my delirium, i thought i was married to jon hamm and he was cheating on me. Jimmy we assume theres no way you can get it now, right . Because youve had it, youre okay. That is the assumption. We sure hope so. Why, you want me to do your Grocery Shopping . Jimmy no, but die idea. You are invulnerable to the virus now. And that seems like a great thing to feel. If its true. If its true. Yeah. Believe me, people have been emailing me about things that they want me to pick up when im completely better. Jimmy have either of you heard from other coronavirus victims like tom hanks or idris elba or the virgin bachelor cult . I wish i heard from idris elba, but i did talk to people who had it, and they were really helpful telling me, make sure you drink a lot of orange juice and rest, and that kind of stuff was great, and im telling you right now on jimmy kimmel that can you dm me on instagram if you have it and youre scared and you want any sort of pointers. Gayle king was like, where did you get it . And i said i have no idea, coy have gotten it from romaine lettuce. And she texted me back, do you think you could have got at any from romaine lettuce . People knew somebody. And they got all the information. Jimmy right. I heard from people i hadnt heard from in a cachilion years. Jimmy wouldnt it be interesting that if after all this we found out it was romaine lettuce behind this whole deal . No more caesars. Were arugula people, so we really dont care. Jimmy im sorry you went through that, and george, im sorry youre not going through that, it would make for a more interesting segment. No, im happy youre not going through that. But each night ive asked our guests to pick a charity, well make a donation. What charity have you selected . This ones a great one. R. I. P. Medical debt. And what they do is figure out a way for every dollar you donate, they retire 100 of somebodys medical debt. So every dollar in donation goes a long way, and we all now especially in the wake of this crisis there are going to be a lot more people facing surprise medical bills. This is a terrific charity. Weve been big supporters for a while, and it does incredible work. Jimmy thank you both for being with us, the first couple of the coronavirus. A Ali Wentworth and George Stephanopoulos. Say hi to molly and the kids. Jimmy i will. You know, in these Uncertain Times we all need ways to destress. Since we cant have a drink at a bar or go out, even the simple act of wrestling a stranger at a bus stop is impossible right now. We had to get creative. As a public service, here are sure time tips to relieve your quarantension. Ignore your texts. Number two, scream into the void. Dont have a void . Scream into your freezer or a pillow or a pet. Number three. Call your friends. Thats an easy one. You can even do it on video chat like this. Hey, guillermo, hows it going . Guillermo good. Jimmy okay. Bye. Guillermo bye. Jimmy see, i feel better already, and if all else fails try calm, the trusted magnesium sum implement for 37 years. I want you to listen to it, too. You hear that fizz . Thats the sound of your worries just melting away. Guillermo hey, jimmy. Jimmy oh, harkey, guillermo. Guillermo hey, jimmy, i was going to do some nothing, you want to do some nothing with me . Jimmy find Natural Vitality calm at select retailers. Jimmy i like nothing. Guillermo me too. ding these are a few of my favorite things. Wendys is changing the game from this. To a breakfast that eats other breakfasts for breakfast. Who says you cant have a baconator for breakfast . Dont just grab a coffee. Grab a frostyccino instead. And forget that frozenfoldedeggstuff. All of these have freshcracked eggs. One bite and itll be your new favorite. Guaranteed. ding try your new favorite today. Well even deliver it. Order by 10am. Yeah. That Liberty Mutual customizes your insurance, i just love hitting the open road and telling people so you only pay for what you need [squawks] only pay for what you need. Liberty. Liberty. Liberty. Liberty. woman is there vo atural litter that actuallyat tidy cats,. Your wish. Is our latest littervention. New naturally strong, with odorabsorbing activated charcoal. 100 natural, 100 powerful. Theres a tidy cats for that so the thing no one tells you about tampons . You gotta change sizes to match your flow. Only tampax pearl makes five. So if it hurts to remove . Go down a size. Leaking . Go up one. And every size has our leakguard braid for backup protection. Find your flow combo with tampax. If we werent able to stream anything, i think theyd be lost. Shes listening to music. Hes watching the news. vo verizon is giving you more entertainment, like apple music, disney , and youtube tv. Unlimited plans start at 35. Shop online. Only at verizon. Hvr. You either love it or you really love it. To join artists from all over the globe for one special night in. We are one world together at home, united in the fight against covid19. Tune in april 18 to participate in this historic global event. Jimmy well, that is our show for tonight. Id like to thank George Stephanopoulos and Ali Wentworth. Jimmy i have a new email address, hellojimmykimmel gmail. Com. That is how desperate i am for human contact. Ill be back tomorrow with jason bateman, nightline is next. I miss you already. This is nightline. Tonight. Covid19 complications. Unprecedented unemployment, tangled in red tape. So here i am. Calling and calling. Struggling to put food on the table. Medical bills are just going to have to wait. Millions of americans facing a new economic reality. Its the great righ ithe government doing enough . Plus, fauci under fire. His years treat and lng us through some of the deadliest Health Emergencies in the world. I just want to hear from dr. Fauci. Now facing his biggest challenge yet. How his past work on hivaids is helping guide him through
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